Stage fright/social phobia/ obsession to be witty

I am 28 year old. I have gone through almost all the posts related to anxiety and social phobia but could not find the exact

remedy for my case. I would be greateful if somebody can take up my case.

Problems
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My biggest problem is that I have intense stage fright and social phobia for the past 18 years or so. Get anxious with the

thought of making a public appearance and always try to avoid the situation. While making a public appearance heart

palpitates, not able to focus, speach slurs, too anxious and self concious and just feel like escaping from the situation.

There is no abnormal sweating as I have seen in other cases. However feel comfortable in attending meetings in small rooms

with few number of people. Fear/anxiety increases with more number of people and larger rooms.

Get anxious if others are observing me. Also gets anxious when confronted with unknown situations and when doing things for

the first time specially when others are observing. Afraid of taking part in any sports competion because of this.

Lack of self confidence in almost everything.

Not very comfortable going out alone specially if going to that place for the first time or if I have to do some job there

like submitting bills etc. Prefer going anywhere in company. Though otherwise feel very confortable if alone at home.

Get anxious if there is a group of unknown young men going while walking on road(specially when alone)as if they will make

fun of me/hurt me. Not comfortable with unknown people.

If people are talking softly behind me and laughing, I have the feeling that they are talking about me and making fun of me.

This makes me anxious and self consious.

I have Obssession to have good sense of humour and wit. When in group if somebody cracks some joke always keep thinking why

it didn't click to me.

Critical to others making fun of me in a group and therefore fear people who are very vocal and make fun of others in group.

But otherwise I enjoy in the company of people I am comfortable with and looks and feels like a normal person.

Afraid of taking responsibility.

Find if difficult to say no to people.

There is a bit of constipation. Have to go to toilet 2 ,3 times in day. Till that time gas formation in stomach with rumbling

sound.

For some years observing that my memory has deterioted. Also not able to concentrate for long while reading or attending

presentation. Mind wanders sometimes even if somebody is explaning things directly to me. Also recently I am observing some

hair loss.

Childhood histroy
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Childhood not very happy. We lived in joint family and there used to be fights between my parent and my uncle/ant. This led

to tention in my family due to which my mother used to be very critical of things. I was not allowed to drive cycle/scooter

expect to the areas near to my house. She used to scold me for very small reason. Once I got a wrong thing from groceccory

store and I was scolded a lot for that. Developed the fear of going to place alone where I had to perform some task like

submitting bills or confronting people. Though this has reduced now but still face some anxiety.

In school I was a happy student, good acadmically, used to have friends and enjoy as a normal child. But had the social

phobia in schoold days also

I had been masturbating since the age of 13 but had stopped it from past 4 months. But still have night emissions. Due to bad

company in childhood had some homosexual encounters with my friends.



Questionair which I got from some other post.
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1.What is the main reason you need treatment?
Not able to lead a normal life because of social phobia. Always try avoiding situations where social appearance is required

or is required to be confronted with new situations, unknown people/places.

2. Describe your complaints giving the following details:
a. What does it feel like?
Heart racing, shaking hands ,the feeling that I just want to leave the situation as soon as possible , lack of concentration,

low self esteem,worried, scared,speach slurs.

b. When does it happen?
When I am put into social situations, making a public appearance, when alone in public places, in rooms full of people,

meeting new people, in situations where I have to performe and I am being observed/judged.

c. What sort of things make it worse?
Social situations with unknown people and new place,if things around me aren’t going as I would want them to.

d. What sort of things make it better?
Exercise, sleep, alcohol helps in certain situations, fresh air, nature, listning to music, cloudy weather, company of a

known person.

e. What else was happening when it first appeared?

f. Describe the quality of the pain, being as creative as you can. How would someone else imagine the pain happening to them?
Just the feeling of terror, being scared and wanting to run, humiliation, embarrassment, shaking, heart races as if it will

come out,nervousness

h. Do any other symptoms occur immediately before, during or after?

3. What illnesses have you had in the past?
Nothing other than the ones mentioned above.

4. What illnessess run in the family?
Mother had breast cancer, was operated and is fine now. Father has high blood pressure and is diabetic. Had stone once.

5. What do people die from in the family?
Grandfather due to old age.

6. What medication are you on?
I am on no medications.

7. What foods do you crave, whether you allow yourself to eat them or not? List from the strongest craving to the weakest.
I have liking for chocolates and sweets but don't crave for them. I allow myself to eat them but is small quantity.

8. What foods do you have an aversion to? (hatred or repulsion for)
unflavoured milk and ghee.

9. What is your level of thirst, and what do you prefer to drink?
Normal. I prefer to drink water.

10. What foods aggravate you? (including allergies)
Nothing

11. Do you suffer from any digestive complaints? What is your bowel habit like?
I get constipated a bit. Have to go to toilet 2-3 times in a day. If stomach not clean completed have gas build up.

12. What is your level of energy like? Rate it from 1-10 (10 being excellent). How does your energy fluctuate throughout the

day (and night)?
Morning is about a 8, afternoon around 6. Evening is about a 6 or 5. Night around 4 to 5 before going to bed

13. What is your level of sexual energy like?
It is normal.

14. How is your sleep? What position do you prefer to sleep in? Is there any position you cannot sleep in? Any unusual

behaviour during sleep?
My sleep is good. I sleep a full 7-6 hours a night. I prefer sleeping on my side or on my stomach.

15. Have you had any reoccurring dreams or images/ pictures/ themes that repeat themselves in your dreams? Please describe.
No.

16. Describe your menses (periods). Describe any PMS. Have you been through menopause? Any gynecological problems?
NA

17. How does the weather affect you? Are you sensitive to the temperature in any way?
I love rainy season with no sunshine and with cool breeze flowing all the time. I prefer cold weather conditions with very

less sunshine over hot and sunny weather.

18. Is there anything else in the environment you are sensitive to, perhaps more so than the people around you?
no

19. What is the worst thing that has ever happened to you? Describe in detail.
I had to give seminar for my Engg. degree. Due to stage fright that was not a very good experience.

20. What part of your life do you have the most difficulty coping with? Why is that?
I am having difficulty in coping with current life due to social phobia. Since I am in a job I have to attends lot of meeting

and sometimes give presentation. Though my childhood was also not very good as I still have the memories of being scolded for

small reasons and never had enough freedom. That has made me a timid person overall.

21. What was your childhood like? Describe your parents and your relationship with them. Describe your relationship with your

siblings and other extended family members. Did anything in your childhood have a profound effect on you?
Not a very good one. As mentioned before also never had enough freedom at home. Parents were more of supervisor than a

friend. Could never discuss my problems etc. with them. I had to take permission for even going out with my friends.

22. Describe the romantic relationship you are currently in. What causes the most problems between you?
None.

23. What is your occupation? What differentiates you from the other people in your place of employment? What difficulties do

you have at work?
I work in computer design. It is a technical job involving working on computer most of the time. I am senior most in my team

after my manager. Also this makes me a bit more knowledgable then others. Difficulties faces mostly is attending group

meeting with large no. of people. Givinig presentations. Taking up new responsibilities.

24. What is your self-confidence like? When is your confidence at its worst?
I feel like my confidence is low. My confidence is lowest if I am alone at some public gathering, giving presentation or when

I am being observed by people. I feel more confident in the company of people I am confortable with.

25. What fears do you have? Do you have any phobias? What things in life do you have trouble facing?
I have stage fright and social phobia. This has already been explained in detaile at the starting.

26. What parts of yourself or your life would you change if it were at all possible?
Anxiety, low confidence, social phobia and also height. I have a short height 5 f 3 inch.

27. What do you do to relax?
Listen to devotional music helps. Excersice regularly. seek solace for sometime.

28. What is something that you have told nobody else, or at least very few people? Why is that?
I have anxiety,social phobia and also an obsession to be witty and have good humour. I don't want people to know about this

as otherwise my image is good amoung people. I think if people know about this I will loose all the respect.