anxious, volatile, sad, empty emotionally

I am planning to see a professional homeopath within the next month or so, but in the meantime I would appreciate some advice. Usually I self prescribe and it's helpful, but things're more complex right now and I could use some back up.

Basically, I'm currently taking Ignatia, and am considering Staphisgriya but am unsure if I'm on the right track.

Any suggestions need to be remedies and potencies that are pretty easily accessible from UK health shops, as I'm aware that Anacardium is a possibility, but it's not readily available here.

My current presenting problem is grief about the lost years, how I've never really been fully a woman, and insecurity and anxiety about people in my treatment team - I fear bad things happening to them. This is a mirror of the helplessness I experienced as a baby and child - see below.
Plus 'rage attacks' which usually happen when someone gets into my space or disrespects/ignores me - e.g. not leaving space for me to walk by on the path.
I also experience a lot of shame.

I'm nearly 39 years old, female, 5 foot one, and weigh 7 stone. I'm naturally underweight and always have been. I was born traumatically 2 months premature via forceps. I have medium brown hair, with parts turning white, and green eyes.
I'm an only child. I have never had a relationship or sex.
I was emotionally abused by my father as a child, and witnessed domestic violence. My father made many threats to send me away, and once strapped me to my bed. I was also physically and emotionally bullied by many of my peers every day at school for over a decade, from age 6 to 17.
Feeling helpless is a core theme.
Noone ever did anything to help me.
When I get angry it's another part of me, a part that is ruthless and violent and must defend me from being hurt at all costs - I feel I am constantly being followed, stared at, ridiculed. Sometimes I even bring ridicule on myself.

I am diagnosed with longstanding treatment resistant depression, and complex post traumatic stress. I am in long term psychotherapy - which is helping. I am unsupressing many feelings and connecting more with myself and who I really am. I am also on anti-depressants.

There's a family history of anxiety and depression, as well as somatisation - although I am the only one diagnosed and treated.

I am a creative person - artistic as well as writing. I read a lot.

I have recurring dreams where my bag or purse is stolen.

My sleep is mainly stabilised by my medication, although I have a history of insomnia. I waken several times during the night to urinate. I have a history of anxiety related frequent urination.

When I feel really low and empty it helps to wrap myself in a blanket and speak kindly to myself. Crying can help, although it scares me to cry.

I'm sensitive to criticism [can provoke intense rage and shame], noise, crowds [panic-violent feelings come up] I can't drink coffee, and can't bear cigarette smoke.

I have a history of catarrh and sinus difficulties, and hayfever.
I have more intense emotional symptoms pre-menstrually, especially the paranoia and rage.

Remedies I have tried at some point and which have brought some relief are
- Calc. Carb and Ars. Alb. - for the intense separation anxieties from my treatment team.
- Lycopodium - I felt more stable and motivated.
- Pulsatilla - Calmed a hysterical type outburst.
- Arnica - Is gentle and supportive emotionally.
- Aconite - Helps when I get in severe panic mode.
- Hepar Sulph - Helped, but then had a severe rage out burst. It also brought on cold/cough symptoms for a 12 hour period - I stopped taking it then, a week ago.

I like mild, non spicy foods, chocolate, pasta, tomato, fruit juice. I was allergic to milk as a child - brought on severe catarrh.

I feel the cold intensely, and also the heat - anything above about 20 degrees celsius and I feel like I lose the boundaries of my body and skin and I get very irritable.

I like being around people, and need to be around people, but I tend to isolate a lot - because of fear of rejection, criticism, and feeling that I'm a burden on others, that I don't belong anywhere, that I'm a 'freak' etc.

Thank you...