The ABC Homeopathy Forum
nat mur vs palladium
can those 2 remedies appear quite similar or not? My view would be that it could be possible if I understand both remedies entirely and take into view the wide varying personalities nat mur has.Can nat mur be egoistical out of protection? Would they delude themselves to be something great? Would they have a problem in company with the fear that they are maybe to quiet and therefore need to talk more? Would they have a problem if they are the quiet one in company? Would they get tired of the same people? I often like initial contact but grow tired of the same people quick and wished they would stop talking to me...
All those questions I asked because they are an issue for me, relevant.
My BDD would not be here if I were in school or working, amongst people and people gave me interest and I would hear that my appearance is good. I would not feel the need to worry about my nose or things certainly not if people were liking my appearance. And I guess that is why I got the BDD. when I isolated myself I got it.
The real question would be whether palladium has issues with intimacy, closeness? or does Platina
starface on 2011-11-29
This is just a forum. Assume posts are not from medical professionals.
I am not attached to any remedy, even if I really were I would never let it be seen and convince myself that I am not by my own behaviours. And the reason for that would be because it is the right way to not be attached. It is what people would want from me. My approval seeking is more advanced. Approval seeking 2.0 (lol). It is more hidden,I gain approval by admitting that I am approval seeking. I gain it by admitting my bad behaviors.
I am not asking about nat mur vs palladium to self prescribe. I really dont feel like taking a remedy. It is just to get some info for the future if platina wont help, and subconsciously I am quite certain it is also to keep in contact and communicate with someone.
With saying the above I also try hard to not be attached and make it be seen that I am not, so I feel offended when I am told I am attached. I feel like how is it not visible how I am trying to be not attached to the remedy.
I think I posted to much today. Sorry... One could offend/humiliate me as bad as it gets by replying to my apology that I am posting to much with the following... that it is no problem because noone reads the posts anyway. Phew that would destroy me. I would feel so worthless. one can protect himself against many offences, but against this one, when one shows he is dependent on someone or needy and than told this it really is the worst type of offence to me.
I am not asking about nat mur vs palladium to self prescribe. I really dont feel like taking a remedy. It is just to get some info for the future if platina wont help, and subconsciously I am quite certain it is also to keep in contact and communicate with someone.
With saying the above I also try hard to not be attached and make it be seen that I am not, so I feel offended when I am told I am attached. I feel like how is it not visible how I am trying to be not attached to the remedy.
I think I posted to much today. Sorry... One could offend/humiliate me as bad as it gets by replying to my apology that I am posting to much with the following... that it is no problem because noone reads the posts anyway. Phew that would destroy me. I would feel so worthless. one can protect himself against many offences, but against this one, when one shows he is dependent on someone or needy and than told this it really is the worst type of offence to me.
starface last decade
I believe I am witholding an ugly truth. That I am none of those worthwile, high remedies.
I admit I got some slight desire for taking nat mur now. The thought of that it could open me up and not worry anymore is tempting. But I am not in a state where I would really wanna do it. And nat mur never gave me a reaction. I find this so strange because it should give at least some reaction if not being my similimum. Only remedy which did not cause reaction. Very strange. Maybe it is because I so hope that it would finally open me up and let everything go that nothing happens. So hard believing that I am not it because I can so identify with withdrawing into oneself, silent grief, suffering alone, problem with discussing deeply emotional subjects, receiving anything from my father and the list goes on.
I admit I got some slight desire for taking nat mur now. The thought of that it could open me up and not worry anymore is tempting. But I am not in a state where I would really wanna do it. And nat mur never gave me a reaction. I find this so strange because it should give at least some reaction if not being my similimum. Only remedy which did not cause reaction. Very strange. Maybe it is because I so hope that it would finally open me up and let everything go that nothing happens. So hard believing that I am not it because I can so identify with withdrawing into oneself, silent grief, suffering alone, problem with discussing deeply emotional subjects, receiving anything from my father and the list goes on.
starface last decade
Nat-mur';s issue is not Ego. It is Identity. They have melded themselves to another person, become who they are conditionally on the basis of who they are with. Nat-mur feels 'I am only me when I am with you' as all the Natrum remedies do. Natrum is totally dependent on another person for their sense of self. Who that person is may decide the other element in the case (Carb = Father or Self, Phos = Friend or Teacher, Sulph = Spouse or Fantasy, Arsenicum = Support person, Carer or Provider of finance etc). That is a very simple explanation so don't take it all literally. The other element may show a quality rather than a person ie. Carbon = Independence, so Nat-carb';s identity is dependent on their abilitly to stand on their own two feet alone.
Muriaticum is Mother, Nurturer, Parent. Someone who's identity is dependent on their parent. You will often seen Nat-mur people with a serious issue with one parent - often the mother but it is whichever parent offers them the most nurturing and love, or witholds the same. This can be transferred very easily to their romantic interests, where they will seek to be looked after or do all the caring themselves. Nat-mur's sense of identity can become reliant on being the carer, on being able to look after and love someone.
Obviously when the relationship ends it is DEVASTATING for these people, as it is not just the person that goes out of their life but their whole view of themselves. Who are they now that they are alone?
Then Nat-mur holds on (mur) to the hurt (natrum) as a way of remaining who they were. Nat-mur holds on to the past because the relationship is the only reference point they have for themselves. Without that - who are they? This is the question that Nat-mur constantly asks themselves - who am I now that I am without him/her? Nat-mur mothers suffer the loss of their children this way too - say if they grow up and leave, or they go to live with their estranged partner. Who am I now that I have no child to nurture?
Identity is the primary issue for Nat-mur people.
Palladium is nothing like this. They are so different that nobody should ever mix these two remedies up. I have seen many Palladium patients and many Nat-mur patients in clinic. Only on the most superficial level will they look alike.
Palladium must have appreciation and praise. They are a star, in their own mind, in their own lives. They live on a stage, where the spotlight is on them. Their disease (condition for ok'ness) is that people must applaud them, they must be the centre of attention, they must receive flattery and accolades. Palladium needs an audience, and appreciative one, or they will become seriously offended.
Palladium feels they deserve this, that they are special and require 'star' treatment. Watch out if you don't give them the homage they expect - then they can become angry, abusive, even violent.
Once Palladium people are old enough to control their emotions, you will see a conflict in them that drains alot of their energy. They know that acting in a particular way - nice, flattering, polite, sweet, interesting - will get them lots of approval. But if they don't get it straight away the anger comes. So it takes a lot of energy for them to be social, since these two things are in direct opposition to each other.
People walk on tenderhooks around Palladium patients. They often report that they feel the need to keep on their good side, that they cannot offer one piece of criticism or the patient will turn on them. They are real Divas, always expecting cheers from those around them, whether they do anything to deserve it or not.
Palladium has high self-esteem. The problem for them is that other's don't realise this. There is not specific issue of closeness, except in so much that other people feel pressured constantly to be praising them. That might very well make them feel no-one cares about them.
Intimacy, Closeness are issues for every human being. Again you are naming common human issues without differentiating them. It is the problem, the disease that leads you to the remedy.
This is like saying 'What are remedies for hair, skin and feet?' We all have those, you can't pick a remedy by naming common qualities.
Platina is about responsibility and power. They are the ruler of all they survey. I have seen many Platina cases in clinic. There is no need for approval, no need for anyone to tell them they are good or nice or better. They already know it. They feel they don't belong to their family because their family is so common. Someone like a Platina person could never come from a family like that. They swan about their home expecting everyone to wait on them, to pay special attention to everything they say, but most importantly to do everything they want. Platina treats those around them like servants. Fetch this, do that, give me this. Platina is like the ugly sisters in Cinderella - often cruel, haughty, bossy, arrogant. Platina is so superior to everyone else. They despair of ever meeting someone good enough for them.
What does bind Platina to romantic partners though? It is their sexual desire. Platina hates this about themselves, that they are often slaves to their own heightened sexuality. Sex, sex and more sex! They will look upon this part of themselves with disdain but often find it hard to not indulge. They will often treat their partners with contempt, because they see this part of themselves as contemptible. They can even love them, but out of this contempt for the baser human feelings they will often cast them off. Platina is well known for this - even if they like you, you will be rejected by them, because you are just not 'worthy' of someone of their stature. Platina often cannot help themselves. They can cast so many people out of their lives who don't fit their high ideals, until they get to a point where they are alone. Then they feel lonely, but it is all their doing. They act so snooty, so superior, that even if they themselves don't ask you to leave, you can't bear being with them.
Muriaticum is Mother, Nurturer, Parent. Someone who's identity is dependent on their parent. You will often seen Nat-mur people with a serious issue with one parent - often the mother but it is whichever parent offers them the most nurturing and love, or witholds the same. This can be transferred very easily to their romantic interests, where they will seek to be looked after or do all the caring themselves. Nat-mur's sense of identity can become reliant on being the carer, on being able to look after and love someone.
Obviously when the relationship ends it is DEVASTATING for these people, as it is not just the person that goes out of their life but their whole view of themselves. Who are they now that they are alone?
Then Nat-mur holds on (mur) to the hurt (natrum) as a way of remaining who they were. Nat-mur holds on to the past because the relationship is the only reference point they have for themselves. Without that - who are they? This is the question that Nat-mur constantly asks themselves - who am I now that I am without him/her? Nat-mur mothers suffer the loss of their children this way too - say if they grow up and leave, or they go to live with their estranged partner. Who am I now that I have no child to nurture?
Identity is the primary issue for Nat-mur people.
Palladium is nothing like this. They are so different that nobody should ever mix these two remedies up. I have seen many Palladium patients and many Nat-mur patients in clinic. Only on the most superficial level will they look alike.
Palladium must have appreciation and praise. They are a star, in their own mind, in their own lives. They live on a stage, where the spotlight is on them. Their disease (condition for ok'ness) is that people must applaud them, they must be the centre of attention, they must receive flattery and accolades. Palladium needs an audience, and appreciative one, or they will become seriously offended.
Palladium feels they deserve this, that they are special and require 'star' treatment. Watch out if you don't give them the homage they expect - then they can become angry, abusive, even violent.
Once Palladium people are old enough to control their emotions, you will see a conflict in them that drains alot of their energy. They know that acting in a particular way - nice, flattering, polite, sweet, interesting - will get them lots of approval. But if they don't get it straight away the anger comes. So it takes a lot of energy for them to be social, since these two things are in direct opposition to each other.
People walk on tenderhooks around Palladium patients. They often report that they feel the need to keep on their good side, that they cannot offer one piece of criticism or the patient will turn on them. They are real Divas, always expecting cheers from those around them, whether they do anything to deserve it or not.
Palladium has high self-esteem. The problem for them is that other's don't realise this. There is not specific issue of closeness, except in so much that other people feel pressured constantly to be praising them. That might very well make them feel no-one cares about them.
Intimacy, Closeness are issues for every human being. Again you are naming common human issues without differentiating them. It is the problem, the disease that leads you to the remedy.
This is like saying 'What are remedies for hair, skin and feet?' We all have those, you can't pick a remedy by naming common qualities.
Platina is about responsibility and power. They are the ruler of all they survey. I have seen many Platina cases in clinic. There is no need for approval, no need for anyone to tell them they are good or nice or better. They already know it. They feel they don't belong to their family because their family is so common. Someone like a Platina person could never come from a family like that. They swan about their home expecting everyone to wait on them, to pay special attention to everything they say, but most importantly to do everything they want. Platina treats those around them like servants. Fetch this, do that, give me this. Platina is like the ugly sisters in Cinderella - often cruel, haughty, bossy, arrogant. Platina is so superior to everyone else. They despair of ever meeting someone good enough for them.
What does bind Platina to romantic partners though? It is their sexual desire. Platina hates this about themselves, that they are often slaves to their own heightened sexuality. Sex, sex and more sex! They will look upon this part of themselves with disdain but often find it hard to not indulge. They will often treat their partners with contempt, because they see this part of themselves as contemptible. They can even love them, but out of this contempt for the baser human feelings they will often cast them off. Platina is well known for this - even if they like you, you will be rejected by them, because you are just not 'worthy' of someone of their stature. Platina often cannot help themselves. They can cast so many people out of their lives who don't fit their high ideals, until they get to a point where they are alone. Then they feel lonely, but it is all their doing. They act so snooty, so superior, that even if they themselves don't ask you to leave, you can't bear being with them.
♡ brisbanehomoeopath last decade
Interesting. Thanks a lot. I dont think I am nat mur, nor palladium nor platina. The first paragraph of platina was the farthest away from how I am. But the sexual thing and casting off people held a bit true but not to the same degree.
Back when I was reading homeopathy I remember also reading a few cases of platina who werent really that sick than. Who were more like normal people.
I dont know how I am appearing to people on here but when some weight lifted and I was cursing a lot a few days ago I felt guilt instantly. Being like a diva or whatever would be dangerous to me. Egoisem is wrong, people dont like it and I would feel guilt.
I lost more hair on my head which I am not really worrying about and have this thing on the skin of my face which I never had. The world looks better, lighter.
platina helped so I must assume I have a big ego? But it is one on the inside which is rarely seen in the real world. On an internet forum it is different.
Back when I was reading homeopathy I remember also reading a few cases of platina who werent really that sick than. Who were more like normal people.
I dont know how I am appearing to people on here but when some weight lifted and I was cursing a lot a few days ago I felt guilt instantly. Being like a diva or whatever would be dangerous to me. Egoisem is wrong, people dont like it and I would feel guilt.
I lost more hair on my head which I am not really worrying about and have this thing on the skin of my face which I never had. The world looks better, lighter.
platina helped so I must assume I have a big ego? But it is one on the inside which is rarely seen in the real world. On an internet forum it is different.
starface last decade
As I have said quite a few times, Platina only fits one part of your case, and not the most peculiar part, so it cannot cure you. You cannot divide your case up into parts and prescribe on each separately. Even if you ameliorate one part, when you move to the next the first part will tend to get worse again. You have to fit it all together, into one total picture. Anything important to understanding the core problem, that isn't covered by the remedy, should be an alarm bell that you do not have the right remedy.
[message edited by brisbanehomoeopath on Wed, 30 Nov 2011 02:27:32 GMT]
[message edited by brisbanehomoeopath on Wed, 30 Nov 2011 02:27:32 GMT]
♡ brisbanehomoeopath last decade
I would agree. It is strange that on one hand I want to agree because that is good to present myself in a good light (which would be the thing about abandonment or forsaken issue) but on the other hand I have a problem with agreeing based on how it makes me look. My insecurities come up whenever I could appear like a needy low idiot except when it is an emergency, when I am left on my own by people (lol). But there is another part and that is that I love to be open, talk about my deppest issues, my issues with the ego as in that way it makes me feel good and I gain approval or something from being able to talk about it. In real world I would have such anxiety talking about personal things though.
Yesterday I was taking things less seriously and having fun chatting with some people on an online video game. I was kind of having fun but my issue of that I am appearing childish maybe came up than so I had to stop my fun behavior. I got such mental blocks, where I am very concerened and cannot let myself go and just be, have fun like in the past. There were signs yesterday again but I was having the thought of how I am appearing again.
And there is the issue of how there is such a thin line between people liking me or rejecting me. And I hate it, I hate it that I am under such limitations and cannot just be which ever way I want to be. If I make to much fun etc boom and I am left on my own. There is no such thing where I can be free of worry of care and just be myself and know nothing bad will happen. That people will not critizise me, tell me what is wrong with me or walk away from me(reject me) That is the worst. Takes all my confidence etc
Yesterday I was taking things less seriously and having fun chatting with some people on an online video game. I was kind of having fun but my issue of that I am appearing childish maybe came up than so I had to stop my fun behavior. I got such mental blocks, where I am very concerened and cannot let myself go and just be, have fun like in the past. There were signs yesterday again but I was having the thought of how I am appearing again.
And there is the issue of how there is such a thin line between people liking me or rejecting me. And I hate it, I hate it that I am under such limitations and cannot just be which ever way I want to be. If I make to much fun etc boom and I am left on my own. There is no such thing where I can be free of worry of care and just be myself and know nothing bad will happen. That people will not critizise me, tell me what is wrong with me or walk away from me(reject me) That is the worst. Takes all my confidence etc
starface last decade
I do feel closer to people and it is easier to interact and I feel less offended. I think I need a remedy that is kind of close to platina really. I thought staphysgaria might be that. But I didnt like it, Didnt do anything deep. There was change in that I instantly did not have those inapropriate sexual feelings but issue with intimacy, with being close to some people at home. That was about it. And my genital changed for the worse.
from before there were inapropriate sexual feelings which changed to aversion to being close to person. That must be peculiar, no?
[message edited by starface on Wed, 30 Nov 2011 03:34:58 GMT]
from before there were inapropriate sexual feelings which changed to aversion to being close to person. That must be peculiar, no?
[message edited by starface on Wed, 30 Nov 2011 03:34:58 GMT]
starface last decade
I think my nose looks to big, so I wished it were smaller. I edited some pictures of me and when I see I have the perfect size it makes me feel really good. Warm feelings and I think I must get it to be like that, all my worries and care will go... But there is another issue. Of who I am with this change. And I see myself looking just like everyone else than. A normal nose. And I think I would go invisible. THat I would loose everything and I might look to ordinary than.
It is a strange conflict. So I know surgery would not be the answer as I can see in advance that I would have a problem than still.
Ah I am so enlightened lol. I do think I am intelligent and a good thinker. Always challenging every thought and believe whether it is true or not and not be attached to things. I never want to be controlled by my own mind, see something because I want it to be that way. I never want to be blind to something. I hate being in the dark, blind, not seeing something other people see. it is an issue with being trapped, isolated maybe. Being in the dark, not knowing.
[message edited by starface on Wed, 30 Nov 2011 03:46:19 GMT]
It is a strange conflict. So I know surgery would not be the answer as I can see in advance that I would have a problem than still.
Ah I am so enlightened lol. I do think I am intelligent and a good thinker. Always challenging every thought and believe whether it is true or not and not be attached to things. I never want to be controlled by my own mind, see something because I want it to be that way. I never want to be blind to something. I hate being in the dark, blind, not seeing something other people see. it is an issue with being trapped, isolated maybe. Being in the dark, not knowing.
[message edited by starface on Wed, 30 Nov 2011 03:46:19 GMT]
starface last decade
Is it World of Warcraft that you play?
You won't find your remedy by trying to get something like your partial similar. Such a focus only restricts you to an already incorrect idea.
What you should be looking at is what is NOT covered, not what IS covered. A partial similar is just wrong, it will never cover the core issue or it would cure you (thus being your actual simillimum) so trying to use it as some kind of stepping stone to the right remedy will never succeed.
What you also continue to do is avoid the animal remedies. I assume you are doing this either because you ARE one, or you are just being contrary and opposing my ideas. Either way, it is a serious blind spot.
You won't find your remedy by trying to get something like your partial similar. Such a focus only restricts you to an already incorrect idea.
What you should be looking at is what is NOT covered, not what IS covered. A partial similar is just wrong, it will never cover the core issue or it would cure you (thus being your actual simillimum) so trying to use it as some kind of stepping stone to the right remedy will never succeed.
What you also continue to do is avoid the animal remedies. I assume you are doing this either because you ARE one, or you are just being contrary and opposing my ideas. Either way, it is a serious blind spot.
♡ brisbanehomoeopath last decade
Close. Not warcraft but starcraft.
The animal issue I am aware of. I see how I am trying to avoid it constantly. On some days I am ok with it on others not.
Animals they just dont count. Today in the morning I noticed how I am lieing in my bed which is one foot to the knee and I remember this is lac caninum and they also from the few mentioned remedies are covered under fear of fainting beside platina and arg nit.
I dont know. The scorpio really made me feel as bad as it gets. BDD was back in full swing. Not sure if I would be able to take such remedy. Well I could, I would of course. But I know how my outlook would change to this hopeless state.
I have an ugly ego. I think animals therefore are right. And it is the kingdom I try to avoid. But I am sensitive aswell. Sensitive to the feelings of others.
[message edited by starface on Wed, 30 Nov 2011 04:08:29 GMT]
The animal issue I am aware of. I see how I am trying to avoid it constantly. On some days I am ok with it on others not.
Animals they just dont count. Today in the morning I noticed how I am lieing in my bed which is one foot to the knee and I remember this is lac caninum and they also from the few mentioned remedies are covered under fear of fainting beside platina and arg nit.
I dont know. The scorpio really made me feel as bad as it gets. BDD was back in full swing. Not sure if I would be able to take such remedy. Well I could, I would of course. But I know how my outlook would change to this hopeless state.
I have an ugly ego. I think animals therefore are right. And it is the kingdom I try to avoid. But I am sensitive aswell. Sensitive to the feelings of others.
[message edited by starface on Wed, 30 Nov 2011 04:08:29 GMT]
starface last decade
When i took the scorpio a week or so later I noticed how the issue when I see females at night went away. And the desire to be with them. That is about the only thing I noticed that changed. Or I saw a guy with a fast car driving and I couldnt care less, did not feel offended by it.
I dont know whether it got back or not now since I do not go out that much anymore. THe compulsive need to go out has gone.
I dont know whether it got back or not now since I do not go out that much anymore. THe compulsive need to go out has gone.
starface last decade
I feel like I am regressing. Tension and anxiety wise. But there still is an inner feeling of that it is ok and I cannot really feel bad. But I feel it wont last.
My issues with relationships is that initially they are ok, all is good. But than nothing more happens. A standstill. I feel like I am not being heard anymore, understood, cared for, that I am just a number. I dont see any signs of that I am. I think I need special treatment in this regard. Or shown everyday that people care. I cannot stand the usual normal blank interaction. I expect a lot from people. For them to do everything for me. That I am their most liked patient etc. If I get a remedy prescribed I do not agree with, which doesnt happen often since I am excited to take new things. But if I feel it totally made me be misunderstood I feel dissapointment and it is a bad situation. Will I take the hurt and stay quiet or let my anger out for this happening, my frustration? I can quickly get the feeling that I am not listened to or cared for. Relationships are just bad. I am not getting enough of what I want. I noticed from reading 'tahbis' thread how something that was the same with me happened. I believe if she is like me she thought like you care a great deal for her by all those replies she has gotten daily, but then what happened is that she did not agree with a prescription you made and I am pretty sure she would of expected that you would really care and try to persuade her and convince her that it is the right remedy etc. WHich would give her the feeling that you really care for her. But what she has gotten instead was the 'Take it or leave it' option which totally confused her and from there than came the statements, like I had hope you are different from everyone else I have dealt with before in the beginning etc... I can see both view points from you and tahbi, and it is good to see it in a 3rd person objective view. It just seems so unfortunate and I feel bad for tahbi if she is like me. If what I described above was the case with her. But I am preety sure it is. What else could it be. It is the sudden 'take it or leave it' statements. To someone like me at least this is a sign of not caring as much anymore as it first gave the impression you did by the constant replies. But this is an unreasonable expectation to think a homeopath will go at lengths in caring for you, persuading you etc I know this. I am Mentally mature maybe but not emotionally.
My issues with relationships is that initially they are ok, all is good. But than nothing more happens. A standstill. I feel like I am not being heard anymore, understood, cared for, that I am just a number. I dont see any signs of that I am. I think I need special treatment in this regard. Or shown everyday that people care. I cannot stand the usual normal blank interaction. I expect a lot from people. For them to do everything for me. That I am their most liked patient etc. If I get a remedy prescribed I do not agree with, which doesnt happen often since I am excited to take new things. But if I feel it totally made me be misunderstood I feel dissapointment and it is a bad situation. Will I take the hurt and stay quiet or let my anger out for this happening, my frustration? I can quickly get the feeling that I am not listened to or cared for. Relationships are just bad. I am not getting enough of what I want. I noticed from reading 'tahbis' thread how something that was the same with me happened. I believe if she is like me she thought like you care a great deal for her by all those replies she has gotten daily, but then what happened is that she did not agree with a prescription you made and I am pretty sure she would of expected that you would really care and try to persuade her and convince her that it is the right remedy etc. WHich would give her the feeling that you really care for her. But what she has gotten instead was the 'Take it or leave it' option which totally confused her and from there than came the statements, like I had hope you are different from everyone else I have dealt with before in the beginning etc... I can see both view points from you and tahbi, and it is good to see it in a 3rd person objective view. It just seems so unfortunate and I feel bad for tahbi if she is like me. If what I described above was the case with her. But I am preety sure it is. What else could it be. It is the sudden 'take it or leave it' statements. To someone like me at least this is a sign of not caring as much anymore as it first gave the impression you did by the constant replies. But this is an unreasonable expectation to think a homeopath will go at lengths in caring for you, persuading you etc I know this. I am Mentally mature maybe but not emotionally.
starface last decade
I went out, I still feel good outside. A guy walked past me and greeted me and I got those type of good feelings you get from meeting someone. As if you know each other or something like that. I definately feel closer less distant from people. Like it is easier to connect. I dont know how to describe it sorry I know those are phosphorus things and it didnt really work for me. But that is how I can describe it only.
My compensation is to feel things are more intimate than they are. I often act very intimate superificially and it is a problem because I get told I am creepy and stuff like that when I chat on online dating sites with girls. It hurts a lot. Since I want the contact, since I want to be close but than the thing that I least want to happen happens... I get rejected
My compensation is to feel things are more intimate than they are. I often act very intimate superificially and it is a problem because I get told I am creepy and stuff like that when I chat on online dating sites with girls. It hurts a lot. Since I want the contact, since I want to be close but than the thing that I least want to happen happens... I get rejected
starface last decade
Something close to my testicles hurts today. THis happens when I masturbate to much I think. I felt it in the past. And now that I say this I remember I had a dream tonight where I saw a naked female with testicles and how bad I felt.
The naked body is something I dont like. I dont like seeing females naked or anyone. There is an aversion. I think a child like aversion
The naked body is something I dont like. I dont like seeing females naked or anyone. There is an aversion. I think a child like aversion
starface last decade
I had 2 dreams recently where I was slightly a 'kiss ass' and once manipulative. It is how I used to be in the past when there was danger. I would manipulate I am with the bad guys or just do something to be out of danger.
But I am not like that anymore for the most part so I am suprised when this came up in my dreams. The issue is with my ego. How can I feel good if I would be like that. Manipulative. Only small, low people do such things is what comes up in my mind. So I could not do it anymore, not for things that are not life threatening
But I am not like that anymore for the most part so I am suprised when this came up in my dreams. The issue is with my ego. How can I feel good if I would be like that. Manipulative. Only small, low people do such things is what comes up in my mind. So I could not do it anymore, not for things that are not life threatening
starface last decade
Well I am not really regressing. Right now all still feels ok.
I have never been asked about all my fears and there are quite many.
First of I always have issues when someone touches my food with unwashed hands and at home everyone cries when I ask them whether they washed their hands (offended quickly), even when I ask them nicely my mother tells me that I am annoying or something wich offends me so much. It is the worst thing one can say. How can I be liked or feel good in company if I am annoying. I wash every dish I take quickly with water before using because I hate to have bacteries or that stuff and eat it.
I fear small places claustrophobia
snakes, spiders, insects, mice, underwater animals like fish, sharks,...
heights, Hate living in a tall flat when it is windy out of fear the flat or something might get blown away. I hate gas heating out of fear it might explode.
I fear HIV, stds and dont know how I will have sex, I will need to educate myself about all those things, I would hate kissing a woman because she kissed definately many before. But all those are ugly traits which I hate and whished I would not have. I would hide this, never mention it
I fear c_ancer, or any disease, I would fear getting blind, I would fear skin disease. I fear my parents dieing and leaving me alone, I feel worse when my mother shows me that she has a health issue, something black on her nail or whatever. It worries me and I cannot rest than. I try to forget it and not remember it anymore but also want her to get it checked out but she never does. I hate it, it is beyond my control. And I have difficulty with showing that I care about someone. It is a vulnerability.
If my parents died I also think about the funerals, that I would have to go there and maybe speak in front of people, would I be able to deal with it? NO I wouldnt. And guilt comes that it is wrong to think of that since it is selfish. I would have great trouble if my parents died since I have noone except my brothers than. No emotional support. Not anyone I can talk with and be myself around. I think I would have to go back to my country I was born at if my parents died, but I fear things have changed and I wont be able to talk with anyone, make this connection again.
I have fear of death, fainting, in the past I feared global warming will get worse and worse so we might all die. I fear violence.
But mostly I fear small places, being trapped. In a stuck elevator. In a cement toilet where the door does not open up. Being thrown into the sea in a small box with water running into it. I would loose my mind if this happened to me.
I fear going crazy, scizophrenia, night inside the house when alone or when everyone sleeps. Am still paranoid from the platina and dont feel good when I walk past my brothers room and look into it from the bad experience I had.
I would not be able to live if someone in my family just had 1 hand. I would feel their pain. I would have to get away.
I fear being in a plane of falling down, the worst thing would be falling into the sea while still being alive. I fear driving fast when someone else drives me. I fear drugs and there effects on the mind, body, that they could damage something. The idea of having a damaged brain or head is not a nice one. So I was never involved with drugs except marijuana. Dont drink alcohol, dont take painkillers or any tablets
My parents dieing would be really bad. I dont know how I would live. I would be totally lost, no guidance, nothing. There would be something hugely missing that I could never ever get again. Relationship with other people are not deep, unstable, and I can not be myself around people. I am never entirely open and myself
I fear getting old, fear my life passing me by without experiencing life with people again. Experience the good fun times with friends, of not having this. This would be an irreversible thing I could never get over and accept that it happened to me.
[message edited by starface on Wed, 30 Nov 2011 06:28:03 GMT]
I have never been asked about all my fears and there are quite many.
First of I always have issues when someone touches my food with unwashed hands and at home everyone cries when I ask them whether they washed their hands (offended quickly), even when I ask them nicely my mother tells me that I am annoying or something wich offends me so much. It is the worst thing one can say. How can I be liked or feel good in company if I am annoying. I wash every dish I take quickly with water before using because I hate to have bacteries or that stuff and eat it.
I fear small places claustrophobia
snakes, spiders, insects, mice, underwater animals like fish, sharks,...
heights, Hate living in a tall flat when it is windy out of fear the flat or something might get blown away. I hate gas heating out of fear it might explode.
I fear HIV, stds and dont know how I will have sex, I will need to educate myself about all those things, I would hate kissing a woman because she kissed definately many before. But all those are ugly traits which I hate and whished I would not have. I would hide this, never mention it
I fear c_ancer, or any disease, I would fear getting blind, I would fear skin disease. I fear my parents dieing and leaving me alone, I feel worse when my mother shows me that she has a health issue, something black on her nail or whatever. It worries me and I cannot rest than. I try to forget it and not remember it anymore but also want her to get it checked out but she never does. I hate it, it is beyond my control. And I have difficulty with showing that I care about someone. It is a vulnerability.
If my parents died I also think about the funerals, that I would have to go there and maybe speak in front of people, would I be able to deal with it? NO I wouldnt. And guilt comes that it is wrong to think of that since it is selfish. I would have great trouble if my parents died since I have noone except my brothers than. No emotional support. Not anyone I can talk with and be myself around. I think I would have to go back to my country I was born at if my parents died, but I fear things have changed and I wont be able to talk with anyone, make this connection again.
I have fear of death, fainting, in the past I feared global warming will get worse and worse so we might all die. I fear violence.
But mostly I fear small places, being trapped. In a stuck elevator. In a cement toilet where the door does not open up. Being thrown into the sea in a small box with water running into it. I would loose my mind if this happened to me.
I fear going crazy, scizophrenia, night inside the house when alone or when everyone sleeps. Am still paranoid from the platina and dont feel good when I walk past my brothers room and look into it from the bad experience I had.
I would not be able to live if someone in my family just had 1 hand. I would feel their pain. I would have to get away.
I fear being in a plane of falling down, the worst thing would be falling into the sea while still being alive. I fear driving fast when someone else drives me. I fear drugs and there effects on the mind, body, that they could damage something. The idea of having a damaged brain or head is not a nice one. So I was never involved with drugs except marijuana. Dont drink alcohol, dont take painkillers or any tablets
My parents dieing would be really bad. I dont know how I would live. I would be totally lost, no guidance, nothing. There would be something hugely missing that I could never ever get again. Relationship with other people are not deep, unstable, and I can not be myself around people. I am never entirely open and myself
I fear getting old, fear my life passing me by without experiencing life with people again. Experience the good fun times with friends, of not having this. This would be an irreversible thing I could never get over and accept that it happened to me.
[message edited by starface on Wed, 30 Nov 2011 06:28:03 GMT]
starface last decade
I am a jelous type. I would be jelouse if I had a girlfriend whenever she would talk or just look at another guy. And my reaction would be anger but I would not let it be seen. And if she did something that would be to much I would feel offended, hurt by it and the girl would not exist for me anymore past maybe just being friends again in the future.
I would not confront her or talk about it. I am not such type. My jelousy isnt about that. To be the dominant guy or whatever. I could not speak about the hurt that would happen if she cheated on me. I could not even blame her since I feel worthless. I would expect it to happen anyway. When you are feeling like you arent worth much you dont stand up for yourself or defend yourself.
[message edited by starface on Wed, 30 Nov 2011 06:10:26 GMT]
I would not confront her or talk about it. I am not such type. My jelousy isnt about that. To be the dominant guy or whatever. I could not speak about the hurt that would happen if she cheated on me. I could not even blame her since I feel worthless. I would expect it to happen anyway. When you are feeling like you arent worth much you dont stand up for yourself or defend yourself.
[message edited by starface on Wed, 30 Nov 2011 06:10:26 GMT]
starface last decade
I am feeling pain at the side of the genital. It is a pain I used to have often a few years ago, in the year when I was doing my memory clearing with a self help tool. This made me worry for a moment if there are lymph nodes and this could mean c_ancer. The thought of c_ancer gives me such heavyiness. Everything would change if I had it. I imagine myself reaching out with a hand when I got this sensation of heaviness. It must be some form of isolation I am assuming therefore. As if I am away from everyone. I will die. I will go away. But I researched a bit so I feel ok again.
Mentally I am not so good. I am getting tired a bit of things. I dont want the life I currently have. I dont want to be alone. This might be because when I thought platina is working all will change for the better soon anyway so I dont need to worry but now I dont think it will anymore
I remember 2 years ago or is it 3 now already when I thought I have a skin disease because my skin looked kind of shiny like some silver and I felt crushed as if I am dead the next day.Crushed when I had to eat at the table. I didnt tell anyone of course.
[message edited by starface on Wed, 30 Nov 2011 08:44:43 GMT]
Mentally I am not so good. I am getting tired a bit of things. I dont want the life I currently have. I dont want to be alone. This might be because when I thought platina is working all will change for the better soon anyway so I dont need to worry but now I dont think it will anymore
I remember 2 years ago or is it 3 now already when I thought I have a skin disease because my skin looked kind of shiny like some silver and I felt crushed as if I am dead the next day.Crushed when I had to eat at the table. I didnt tell anyone of course.
[message edited by starface on Wed, 30 Nov 2011 08:44:43 GMT]
starface last decade
***
Animals dont count, animals are nothing special. If I were an animal I would have to give this up and be ok with just being an ordinary animal. I could forget about the glitter and glamour. I would be depressed forever by finding out I am an animal.
Animals are about domination, fighting for females, ego etc and I cannot identify with this.
I have an aversion to the animals and preference for the minerals. The stages of the periodic table. I dont see myself at the top row (row6 -would be lonely and isolating) and I would not want that, but I can see myself still up there but maybe a step below. Stage 5, but that row is about creativity which I am not to sure about at all.
It is like the word competition. I dont like it . Makes it sounds like 2 animals fighting for something. I prefer the word contest. It sounds better, for people with class contending for a prize.
I fear I might be an animal remedy maybe. I am not the type of person who can just say to himself 'Oh I am not an animal' and keep living in denial. It doesnt work for me. I have to know the truth. And if it is true than I have to live with the depression. And prefer it much rather than to tell myself like an idiot that I am good looking or something great or whatever
... But I will give this example... I went out for a walk and once 2 guys were on the other side of the street and playing with a ball. When a car would come they would in an attention seeking way jump before that car and throw the ball to each other... I could not stand it. My ego got up, which I didnt feel for quite a while now. And I was so offended by them. I despised them to such a degree that I had feelings in my chest that I could stab them. I hate such low behavior. And than those 2 guys looked at me if I see them do their low attention seeking stuff. Oh god I could not stand it. If those 2 guys just would have known what I saw when I looked at them. (And this is what I fear in real life, that people see such things when they look at me. That they know what I know and see through to me)
Those 2 guys looking at me to see whether I am watching them, just added to the offence.
I am not a danger to society. I feel the feelings like I could stab some people but its not an issue at all since I know it is just my ego. And it is not like I have to control myself to not do it. THose are just feelings that come up.
Something felt animal like about this situation. I think I would be afraid and change instantly if those 2 guys approached me, change to being fearful as difficult as it is to admit to it for me. Fearful because of my social anxiety and the opinion of those 2 guys about me would matter. I fear seeing their negative reaction towards me. A rejecting one, or one that I am strange or something. When I interact with someone and see their expression to be negative to me that hurts.
I already fear I am fake by describing this situation. Someone tough or high on the outside but a coward on the inside. If I got confirmed that this is how I am it would of be incredibly depressing.
[message edited by starface on Wed, 30 Nov 2011 11:58:26 GMT]
Animals dont count, animals are nothing special. If I were an animal I would have to give this up and be ok with just being an ordinary animal. I could forget about the glitter and glamour. I would be depressed forever by finding out I am an animal.
Animals are about domination, fighting for females, ego etc and I cannot identify with this.
I have an aversion to the animals and preference for the minerals. The stages of the periodic table. I dont see myself at the top row (row6 -would be lonely and isolating) and I would not want that, but I can see myself still up there but maybe a step below. Stage 5, but that row is about creativity which I am not to sure about at all.
It is like the word competition. I dont like it . Makes it sounds like 2 animals fighting for something. I prefer the word contest. It sounds better, for people with class contending for a prize.
I fear I might be an animal remedy maybe. I am not the type of person who can just say to himself 'Oh I am not an animal' and keep living in denial. It doesnt work for me. I have to know the truth. And if it is true than I have to live with the depression. And prefer it much rather than to tell myself like an idiot that I am good looking or something great or whatever
... But I will give this example... I went out for a walk and once 2 guys were on the other side of the street and playing with a ball. When a car would come they would in an attention seeking way jump before that car and throw the ball to each other... I could not stand it. My ego got up, which I didnt feel for quite a while now. And I was so offended by them. I despised them to such a degree that I had feelings in my chest that I could stab them. I hate such low behavior. And than those 2 guys looked at me if I see them do their low attention seeking stuff. Oh god I could not stand it. If those 2 guys just would have known what I saw when I looked at them. (And this is what I fear in real life, that people see such things when they look at me. That they know what I know and see through to me)
Those 2 guys looking at me to see whether I am watching them, just added to the offence.
I am not a danger to society. I feel the feelings like I could stab some people but its not an issue at all since I know it is just my ego. And it is not like I have to control myself to not do it. THose are just feelings that come up.
Something felt animal like about this situation. I think I would be afraid and change instantly if those 2 guys approached me, change to being fearful as difficult as it is to admit to it for me. Fearful because of my social anxiety and the opinion of those 2 guys about me would matter. I fear seeing their negative reaction towards me. A rejecting one, or one that I am strange or something. When I interact with someone and see their expression to be negative to me that hurts.
I already fear I am fake by describing this situation. Someone tough or high on the outside but a coward on the inside. If I got confirmed that this is how I am it would of be incredibly depressing.
[message edited by starface on Wed, 30 Nov 2011 11:58:26 GMT]
starface last decade
So irrational. Who cares what kingdom your remedy comes from. Maybe you are a parrot, or a lion, or a tiger, or a dolphin. Do you hate every animal in the world then?
Everything you are saying is classic denial. You clearly are all those things you say you are not - it shows how far away from choosing your own remedy you are, and probably will always be.
It is ridiculous the conditions and limits you set around remedies - but of course it is just a way of avoiding facing the truth, which is one of your main problems. You are giving a good case now, denying that you are all these things. These are exactly the things I would be prescribing on - perfectly denied is perfectly confirmed for the homoeopath.
No idea why I bother to say this because you will just run further and further away from anything resembling the right remedy for you.
What is so crazy about you, is that you go on about how you couldn't stand to be a particular type of remedy - if that remedy cured you, why the heck does it matter where it comes from? You make no sense at all in such statements. So you desire to avoid being cured, because you have a psychological aversion to the medicine.
Everything you are saying is classic denial. You clearly are all those things you say you are not - it shows how far away from choosing your own remedy you are, and probably will always be.
It is ridiculous the conditions and limits you set around remedies - but of course it is just a way of avoiding facing the truth, which is one of your main problems. You are giving a good case now, denying that you are all these things. These are exactly the things I would be prescribing on - perfectly denied is perfectly confirmed for the homoeopath.
No idea why I bother to say this because you will just run further and further away from anything resembling the right remedy for you.
What is so crazy about you, is that you go on about how you couldn't stand to be a particular type of remedy - if that remedy cured you, why the heck does it matter where it comes from? You make no sense at all in such statements. So you desire to avoid being cured, because you have a psychological aversion to the medicine.
♡ brisbanehomoeopath last decade
I know this must probably be all true. I know how the mind works. I know why I am depressed.
Why it matters what remedy I am? This is just an example and the lac caninum thing I read comes to mind. If you were born black you are black. You are not white and up there. But lac caninum says they will still try but know in the end they are still black. That does not hold true. I could not be happy. I am either IT or NOT and depressed
A remedy means a lot. With the remedy I am being told what I am. Great not great. Desirable or not. But I think I know I am not
Edit: I am more ready to accept that I am nothing, or a few days ago it didnt feel like it matters what I am. Special or not.
[message edited by starface on Wed, 30 Nov 2011 23:57:42 GMT]
Why it matters what remedy I am? This is just an example and the lac caninum thing I read comes to mind. If you were born black you are black. You are not white and up there. But lac caninum says they will still try but know in the end they are still black. That does not hold true. I could not be happy. I am either IT or NOT and depressed
A remedy means a lot. With the remedy I am being told what I am. Great not great. Desirable or not. But I think I know I am not
Edit: I am more ready to accept that I am nothing, or a few days ago it didnt feel like it matters what I am. Special or not.
[message edited by starface on Wed, 30 Nov 2011 23:57:42 GMT]
starface last decade
I had a dream, where this computer game I play was played out again in real life. Warfare with tanks etc... But than all of a sudden I was going into a school with a few soldiers. I looked into a room with students in their and I think I had to do something there with my soldiers to be taken seriously or something like that. So that the people would know it is a serious situation. So I or someone launched a grenade with a grenade launcher up in the celing. And I felt guilt, bad later that it was to close and would be to bad for the students in the room. THen we got to the teachers room and again launched a grenade in the air. THen I looked out the window and was worried that someone might want to shoot me from the neighbouring houses. People living around the school
What happened next was... I was outside the school sitting alone with the gun in my hand and watching people go home from the school. I felt alone and withdrawn into myself.
[message edited by starface on Thu, 01 Dec 2011 00:07:56 GMT]
What happened next was... I was outside the school sitting alone with the gun in my hand and watching people go home from the school. I felt alone and withdrawn into myself.
[message edited by starface on Thu, 01 Dec 2011 00:07:56 GMT]
starface last decade
a parrot, a lion, a tiger, a dolphin... I would hate that. Maybe I have not a good sense of self, and it would add to my identity. But how can I feel good if I am a small parrot who does not count. He lives his life doing nothing, noone sees it, noone knows it exists. I would hate to be a dolphin, it is nothing to feel good about either it just swims in the sea, it is invisible, I would hate being a tiger or lion also because I dont want to be at the top. And the top doesnt seem good to me either. Lots of enemies and getting constantly attacked from every direction, paranoia. It just wouldnt feel good. Who can you trust, who wants you to be on the top, noone
I dont know actually what i would want to be. Alone at the top? with noone bothering me. I would hate being the ordinary things like lion, tiger. Easy to be attacked. Remedy Platina to me seems like you are high, special, distant and not involved with people, you look down upon them, the opinion of those people does not matter to you etc. But I can feel something coming up and the thought that I might have seeked protection in that remedy. Make myself believe that other peoples opinion are not important.
I am still paranoid somewhat from the 10M dose. When I hear a sound I fear someone is in the house.
[message edited by starface on Thu, 01 Dec 2011 00:10:17 GMT]
I dont know actually what i would want to be. Alone at the top? with noone bothering me. I would hate being the ordinary things like lion, tiger. Easy to be attacked. Remedy Platina to me seems like you are high, special, distant and not involved with people, you look down upon them, the opinion of those people does not matter to you etc. But I can feel something coming up and the thought that I might have seeked protection in that remedy. Make myself believe that other peoples opinion are not important.
I am still paranoid somewhat from the 10M dose. When I hear a sound I fear someone is in the house.
[message edited by starface on Thu, 01 Dec 2011 00:10:17 GMT]
starface last decade
WHO CARES WHERE THE REMEDY COMES FROM.
You are not an animal in reality. Do you think that you are? The remedy that cures you is not you.
This is pointless arguing with you. You are so deeply in your disease state you are only hearing what is going on in your own mind. Anything I say just gets reinterpeted into what you already believe.
You are not an animal in reality. Do you think that you are? The remedy that cures you is not you.
This is pointless arguing with you. You are so deeply in your disease state you are only hearing what is going on in your own mind. Anything I say just gets reinterpeted into what you already believe.
♡ brisbanehomoeopath last decade
I dont want to disagree with what you are saying? Am I?
I think I didnt express it correctly. Lets say homeopathy would just cure with undesirable creatures which are nothing good. Than there would be no issue. But since there are remedies like palladium, platina etc And some people get those prescribed but not me it is an issue. There are remedies wich have good qualities, what I would want to be. Yea I think I am in my disease state and the reason why this is an issue. Maybe if I never got to know about palladium, platina I would have not have an issue. It is just depressing that it is in the periodic table and I might not be it, not get it. How can I get over it, that I am not the best remedy.
And I do not wish to be identified with a remedy. I felt the platina working, but it started working less strong since 2 days ago but there is still a calm. I do not really feel bad about it not working so strong anymore and probably meaning it is not my remedy. Like I said before I had issues with taking any remedy except platina or palladium the first time I took them. But after a dose of platina it did not matter anymore so I was ok with taking anthropleura.
[message edited by starface on Thu, 01 Dec 2011 00:28:53 GMT]
I think I didnt express it correctly. Lets say homeopathy would just cure with undesirable creatures which are nothing good. Than there would be no issue. But since there are remedies like palladium, platina etc And some people get those prescribed but not me it is an issue. There are remedies wich have good qualities, what I would want to be. Yea I think I am in my disease state and the reason why this is an issue. Maybe if I never got to know about palladium, platina I would have not have an issue. It is just depressing that it is in the periodic table and I might not be it, not get it. How can I get over it, that I am not the best remedy.
And I do not wish to be identified with a remedy. I felt the platina working, but it started working less strong since 2 days ago but there is still a calm. I do not really feel bad about it not working so strong anymore and probably meaning it is not my remedy. Like I said before I had issues with taking any remedy except platina or palladium the first time I took them. But after a dose of platina it did not matter anymore so I was ok with taking anthropleura.
[message edited by starface on Thu, 01 Dec 2011 00:28:53 GMT]
starface last decade
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