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Husband depressed 4

 

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Help: depressed husband

My husband has a big depression since march.

He had one 14 years ago which was much worse but this one lasts long too.

He is mainly anxious and impatient to get better (and scared he never will).

His doctor gave him Efexor ant-depressant and tranquilizers (Benzodiezapine).

Of course this does not help. So I would like him to try homeopathy, which I do myself (he is critical and over-rationalist).

He is very scared hurting himself or that things will end badly and that he will never cure. He has always been impatient but normally is a strong and (too) hard working man. He is tarting to consider homeopathy finally.

He wants to please everyone and feels bad if people are angry at him or criticize him. Of course that is not possible. But he really wants to please EVERYONE. I think he is afraid of being left .

He has nightmare and feels worse in the morning. As the day progress he feel better but before sleeping he gets more scared again.

I think his biggest fear is doing something to him. He has had an anxiety personality as long as I know him (and according to his parents even as a child). He is scared of death and sickness, mainly cancer, which he thinks he has when his body give strange signals. But it is not only cancer. He once told me that as a child sometimes he thought he would die that night (he always had lung and asthma problems).

Sometimes now, since his depression, he thinks that he will die the next day or befiore he can go to his doctor (from who he depends a lot). Come to think of it: he is very dependent on doctors and strong people but at the same time he hates them. It's like love-hate. H ewants to know better. He wants to be 100% sure but of course no one can be.

Two years ago he became self-emploied but I think he was anxious to do it (dependent) but he wanted it since so long. So he did but managed business bad and denied that there was a problem (money)...

He always spent more than he had, trying to please others but also because he likes living good. This behaviour was also with his parents: never enough money, always problrems, always spending too much for what they had. He even went working as a student and took a loon to help his parents out and when he had no money his parents helped him, very strange.

He wants to be strong, independent and fearless and realize is business dreams but he is too scared. And in march it became too much: he couldn't supress his anxiety anymore and got severly depressed.

Lately he has started to learn that feelings are good and that you not have to run away from them but it remaisn hard for him.. and us, his wife and children.

Also: he spends so much time pleasing others that at a certain point he breaks dwon and gets ill, like he says without knowing: 'now it's my time'. His depression started after for the first time in a long time we went away together without children in very long time, just one day. Not that he not likes children, he wanted four and worries very much about them.

Also strange is that at the same time he wants to be left alone (can not stand busy situations) but ath the same time is looking for assurance in company.

He wants to talk about his problems but you can that in holiday with 4 children this is very hard. I think he is angry then. Sometimes I hear him talking to himself, like he is calming himself with putting things on a row.

Can anyone advice a cure based on this profile please?

Sorry for long mail and bad english.

A worried mom.
 
  ReDeWi on 2008-08-21
This is just a forum. Assume posts are not from medical professionals.
arg nit 200 one dose one drop on tongue for 7 days report j k mohla
 
akshaymohl last decade
one dose daily
 
akshaymohl last decade
Dear mr. mohla,

After few days remedy seemed to help. But I'm afraid not anymore.

Some new things I noticed:

He does not like to look in mirror since he hates himself for being depressed. he hates all the limits its depression brings and wants to be back the hard working businessman he was.

I feel he craves for attention. if he does not ged he gets angry (without really showing, he does it mmore in a childish way or by saying he is scared or by seing naughty things he knows I do not like).

I think he misses his social position and wants to work and travel and do things again, like he used too (and he sometimes did too much, it's hard to stop him when he gets excited).

Now he realizes that he needs attention and starts asking it a bit more positive like wanting to be hold by me. But still...

He is afraid to be alone (that he would hurt himsself)and of making love. But sometimes he wants to be alone.

Lately he is also chilly (it(s not that hot anymore) and despite that he drinks a lot of cold drinks. He is very thirst all the time and drinks very fast and much.

He also isolates himself (does not like to get out) although normally he likes to wander around and go out.

He also hates changes in his dailty routines.

The positive thing is that he started working again a bit. And the, he sometimes things about when things will be better. But when he gets too enthousitic it is followed by great anxiety.

He is manipulative and impatien to move forwad. he says he wants to be respected again (i guess he means respect and trust himself again).

What should I do? He wants to continue trying homeopathy.
 
ReDeWi last decade
repeat thrice a week the same medicine and report j k mohla
 
akshaymohl last decade

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