genital herpes out of control.First, I have to say that I do consult a homopathy phisician each two months.
He already prescribed anacardium orientale, from 10m to 100m with no results. Now he prescribed tuberculinum, which also didn't work.
I have genital herpes every month. Yes, thats correct. Since it takes two weeks to go away, its like I live most of my life in crises.
Acyclovir does relief, but, after, one month, it comes back. Same with famvir.
I even got blood tests to check if I had AIDS. Thaks god, it was a NO result. My recent blood tests have shown a healthy human being, whith colestorol a little high.
But that is a catch.
There is something I don' tell my phisician, because I don't have courage.
Sometimes, when I masturbate, I like to think I'm a woman, that is, I have homosexual thougths. The strange thing is, I'm heterosexual. Just the idea of touching another man makes me puick. I don't understand this homosexual thoughts and I even decided to have a homosexual experience, but I couldn't since I don't feel attracted to men. I never did. This thoughts are like compulsive fantasies, and it makes me question my true identity as a man, although I know deep inside I'm not homosexual.
The truth is that, since I was a child, I try to be the bad boy, the courageous boy, but most of the the time, when faced with a challenge, I withdrawl. So I felt inferior to other men. This pattern has grown and today, whenever I know I'll be challenged, I have panic attacks. They are so bad that I have consulted a neurologist and he prescribed Lexapro. Sad, I know, but it helps the panic.
So it's like I have never became a man, and I think this might have something to do with this odd homosexual fantasies. And herpes always follow this fantasies.
This is the center problem of my soul.
The truth is that this homosexual thoughts are so damaging to my psyche that I never had the courage to tell my homeopathy physician about it. And I'm sure I never will.I'm to ashamed, and I know he'll think I'm homosexual, which I know I'm not.
And I can't allow myself to have a homosexual sex, because I really don't want it.
Thats why I look for help here.
Is there someone to help me find a remedy for this herpes condition?
I really believe this herpes virus is triggered by this emotional condition.
pablo on 2008-09-08
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