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help with resentment

what remedy for resentment not able to let go off?

also this... if I do not wish to go with a specific person somewhere because this person did something I do not like I will get attacked by this person if I say 'I dont want to go with you anymore'. He will say that I am just not going now because this something that happened earlier which I was displeased about happened. As if he wants to ridicule me. But this is not right and makes me so angry but at the same time feel as if my hands are tight up. powerless.

So my option is to be quiet and go with the person regardless of how I am feeling or to not go and say it but than have to listen to ridicule and attack.

I hate this when whatever I decide to do has bad outcome and unjust done to me.
  starface on 2012-01-25
This is just a forum. Assume posts are not from medical professionals.
when someone laughs at me in public which does not happen but I greatly fear it. It would destroy me.

criticism from people below me I can take but not from people that could be above me. Like father etc. Great anger.

Sometimes that I explode in anger and my stomach and everything physichally hurts than.

I fear any negative reaction from people towards me in general. I cannot handle such thing.

Have great emotional weakness also in saying no to people above me most often. I cannot assert myself because I dont know if I am in the right and how this would make the other person feel. But when I do it at times I get overboard, to egoistic but with great anxiety whether I am right or wrong for doing such thing.

Any suggestion?

I cannot talk about my negative problems to a stranger, father, brothers. Just recently revealed a bit to my mother.

..Most people can decide to hide somethings about themselves. Or decide to not reveal this and that. But to me this sounds like great danger that I might get attacked for being fearful, for having something to hide etc. which I have been. So I could never admit that I am going to hide something or keep it private. Cannot defend against the abuse that might come my way than.

Enough info? Any suggestion

every added task I get to do is overwhelming and slows me down to an almost standstill where nothing gets done
[message edited by starface on Wed, 25 Jan 2012 03:17:45 GMT]
starface 9 years ago
I used to stare a lot when in school from anxiety. And the reactions to this from people were very painful to me.
starface 9 years ago

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