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10 month old not sleeping through the night Page 20 of 22
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So Nat-mur was a palliative remedy then. It palliated initially (improvement) without any aggravation, and then the aggravation came after as the vital force reacted to the palliation. Finally he returns to his normal state.
♡ Evocationer 9 years ago
Ah that is a different matter altogether.
No tantrums at all, or just some qualities of the tantrums gone?
No tantrums at all, or just some qualities of the tantrums gone?
♡ Evocationer 9 years ago
Not any at all that I can tell. He has had a few times where he's had a meltdown during the day, like not getting something he wants and he's overtired. But not where he's pushing me away or doesn't want comforting, that sort of thing, and none at all at night or while trying to get him to sleep. So I would consider it as no tantrums at all, because I consider the occasional daytime meltdowns to be a normal reaction to being overtired or overstimulated, etc. The nighttime tantrums I just didn't understand and didn't seem normal. He settles down fine when he has the occasional daytime thing, just has a little short 'blown fuse' situation and then calms down when I comfort him.
alaskamom 9 years ago
I meant to follow up on myself as well---if you'd prefer I do that on my own thread, let me know. I don't want to be confusing, but also know it might be easier to keep everything together in one place.
BTW, I also asked a question on my husband's thread, just to give you a heads up. Hope that's ok.
So for myself, the first day and a half I felt better, then after that felt like I was having an aggravation for 2 or 3 days. Angry, irritated, just felt mad all the time. Then after that, I felt like I was able to take the mad and try to do something about what I was frustrated about. Feeling like as a family we are stuck in the financial department, so I decided maybe I need to get a job. Got my resume lined up and applied for several options, lined up child care through a friend, etc. Brainstormed about transportation. Told my husband, let's go and see if we can get a new car (ours was on its last legs, and I had been dragging my feet on agreeing to get a new one). We did get a new car, now we have car payments but we also have reliable transportation--the old vehicle had to get a quart of oil put in every day just to get to and from work for my husband, and it had a lot of other things wrong with it. Really high mileage, it was time to get something better. Anyway, so I felt like I was really productive there for a few days. Now I just feel tired, like I need to sleep a lot. I am in the middle of my cycle, which has gone better I feel than before, however it was already improving last time from the cycle before that.
During the whole week, my sex drive was pretty much nonexistent. It still is.
Oh, and the constipation came back.
[message edited by alaskamom on Mon, 29 Sep 2014 15:55:11 BST]
BTW, I also asked a question on my husband's thread, just to give you a heads up. Hope that's ok.
So for myself, the first day and a half I felt better, then after that felt like I was having an aggravation for 2 or 3 days. Angry, irritated, just felt mad all the time. Then after that, I felt like I was able to take the mad and try to do something about what I was frustrated about. Feeling like as a family we are stuck in the financial department, so I decided maybe I need to get a job. Got my resume lined up and applied for several options, lined up child care through a friend, etc. Brainstormed about transportation. Told my husband, let's go and see if we can get a new car (ours was on its last legs, and I had been dragging my feet on agreeing to get a new one). We did get a new car, now we have car payments but we also have reliable transportation--the old vehicle had to get a quart of oil put in every day just to get to and from work for my husband, and it had a lot of other things wrong with it. Really high mileage, it was time to get something better. Anyway, so I felt like I was really productive there for a few days. Now I just feel tired, like I need to sleep a lot. I am in the middle of my cycle, which has gone better I feel than before, however it was already improving last time from the cycle before that.
During the whole week, my sex drive was pretty much nonexistent. It still is.
Oh, and the constipation came back.
[message edited by alaskamom on Mon, 29 Sep 2014 15:55:11 BST]
alaskamom 9 years ago
We need to retake the case. It has been a long time now. Rather than assuming you are just going to stay in the Sepia state I need to challenge that idea and see if it holds up. It doesn't matter if you are going over the same things - sometimes there is a small change in the symptoms which can direct us to the next remedy (if that is what we need to do).
Go through each physical complaint you have at the moment. Use this template to describe them.
What is the name of your complaint?
When did the complaint begin?
Where is it located?
What sort of sensations (or emotions) do you associate with it? Sensation may or may not be painful
Does anything make it better or worse?
How does it bother you? How does it affect your day-to-day life?
How does it feel like to have this/these problem/s? What are your feelings about being a person with this kind of complaint
Did any event happen which caused the complaint? Describe the emotion associated with it.
What are the other symptoms started with it, esp. mental and physical symptoms, which are not directly related to the main complaint.
What are your reactions to it? How do you manage it?
When does it tend to occur?(time/day/other event)
Mental/emotional Sphere:
1. What issues are bothering you the most at the moment? Describe each one and your emotions and thoughts about it.
2. What are you reacting to the most at the moment? What are you finding you are more sensitive to?
3. Have your anxieties or fears changed at all? Is anything different provoking anxiety in you or is it something that has always done so but in a different way?
4. What are you tending to do at the moment to 'de-stress'? What are you finding you must do to give yourself some enjoyment or pleasure?
5. Have your thoughts about things changed at all? Do you notice you have a different attitude, to everything or to specific things?
6. Where do you feel most stuck at the moment? What feels like it is resisting change? Where do you feel most blocked or obstructed? What feels like must happen to alter that?
7. What sort of changes have occurred in your relationships with people?
8. Have your dreams changed at all? What kind of things are occurring in them? Are there any repeating images, events or feelings?
9. Overall, what is the difference now between how you were prior to the last remedy and now?
General Sphere:
Please note any changes in the following areas. Changes may be i) New symptoms ii) Old symptoms that have reappeared iii) Current symptoms with some features altered iv) Current symptoms that are worse in some way
1. Sleep
2. Appetite
3. Thirst
4. Bowel function
5. Bladder function
6. Sweat
7. Sexuality
8. Menses
9. Environmental sensitivity
Go through each physical complaint you have at the moment. Use this template to describe them.
What is the name of your complaint?
When did the complaint begin?
Where is it located?
What sort of sensations (or emotions) do you associate with it? Sensation may or may not be painful
Does anything make it better or worse?
How does it bother you? How does it affect your day-to-day life?
How does it feel like to have this/these problem/s? What are your feelings about being a person with this kind of complaint
Did any event happen which caused the complaint? Describe the emotion associated with it.
What are the other symptoms started with it, esp. mental and physical symptoms, which are not directly related to the main complaint.
What are your reactions to it? How do you manage it?
When does it tend to occur?(time/day/other event)
Mental/emotional Sphere:
1. What issues are bothering you the most at the moment? Describe each one and your emotions and thoughts about it.
2. What are you reacting to the most at the moment? What are you finding you are more sensitive to?
3. Have your anxieties or fears changed at all? Is anything different provoking anxiety in you or is it something that has always done so but in a different way?
4. What are you tending to do at the moment to 'de-stress'? What are you finding you must do to give yourself some enjoyment or pleasure?
5. Have your thoughts about things changed at all? Do you notice you have a different attitude, to everything or to specific things?
6. Where do you feel most stuck at the moment? What feels like it is resisting change? Where do you feel most blocked or obstructed? What feels like must happen to alter that?
7. What sort of changes have occurred in your relationships with people?
8. Have your dreams changed at all? What kind of things are occurring in them? Are there any repeating images, events or feelings?
9. Overall, what is the difference now between how you were prior to the last remedy and now?
General Sphere:
Please note any changes in the following areas. Changes may be i) New symptoms ii) Old symptoms that have reappeared iii) Current symptoms with some features altered iv) Current symptoms that are worse in some way
1. Sleep
2. Appetite
3. Thirst
4. Bowel function
5. Bladder function
6. Sweat
7. Sexuality
8. Menses
9. Environmental sensitivity
♡ Evocationer 9 years ago
I haven't gotten the questionnaire quite finished yet, but wanted to report that Kody has a fever. He felt a teensy bit warm yesterday evening, but got a full-blown fever in the night. It's not something I'm terribly worried about, but just in case it helps. It seems to be a pattern that he gets it after going to the nursery in church on a Sunday. It's always the same amount of time--about 2 1/2 days--from when he goes to when he gets the fever. Doesn't seem likely it's something he picked up from the nursery, with it being always the same interval. He hates going there, too. When we were going to our usual church, he would stay in there a bit, but eventually they'd have to call me because he would be crying and they couldn't settle him. Seems like someone would have to hold him almost the whole time, too. He would start to cry at seeing the nursery room.
This last Sunday, we went to a different church, and he went into the nursery. He didn't cry right at the very beginning, I think because he didn't realize what was happening. He only lasted about 5 or 6 minutes. I was worried about him so I went back to peek at him, and could see he was crying and they were not having any luck settling him down. So I picked him up.
Now this fever. I just wonder if something emotional/mental from being left in nursery is triggering the fever. He definitely likes to have me close at all times, and doesn't like being separated from me for even a minute. Just having the bathroom door closed will make him cry, even though he can hear me on the other side.
Something else I've noticed that I think is maybe a little different, is that he is seems to always want to sleep on his stomach, with knees under him, and lately with his arms tucked under him, too.
Seems like this is sort of a trend in the family. My mom was the sickly child, always getting ear infections or pneumonia--I guess she almost died from that once. She was babied because of her frequent illnesses, and was also the youngest of her siblings. I'm the youngest as well, and was always sick too, was babied, etc. I was a very poor sleeper as well (not sure about my mom). Now I have two kids who both are/were very poor sleepers, who both seem to need a lot of coddling, wanting to be held a lot, or given a lot of attention (as in Ethan's case). Ethan had a lot of ear infections when he was little, and Kody had a fair bit as well, plus all these episodic fevers with no apparent physical cause.
Both my kiddos seem like they are stubborn/independent like me. Just things I was laying awake thinking about last night...
This last Sunday, we went to a different church, and he went into the nursery. He didn't cry right at the very beginning, I think because he didn't realize what was happening. He only lasted about 5 or 6 minutes. I was worried about him so I went back to peek at him, and could see he was crying and they were not having any luck settling him down. So I picked him up.
Now this fever. I just wonder if something emotional/mental from being left in nursery is triggering the fever. He definitely likes to have me close at all times, and doesn't like being separated from me for even a minute. Just having the bathroom door closed will make him cry, even though he can hear me on the other side.
Something else I've noticed that I think is maybe a little different, is that he is seems to always want to sleep on his stomach, with knees under him, and lately with his arms tucked under him, too.
Seems like this is sort of a trend in the family. My mom was the sickly child, always getting ear infections or pneumonia--I guess she almost died from that once. She was babied because of her frequent illnesses, and was also the youngest of her siblings. I'm the youngest as well, and was always sick too, was babied, etc. I was a very poor sleeper as well (not sure about my mom). Now I have two kids who both are/were very poor sleepers, who both seem to need a lot of coddling, wanting to be held a lot, or given a lot of attention (as in Ethan's case). Ethan had a lot of ear infections when he was little, and Kody had a fair bit as well, plus all these episodic fevers with no apparent physical cause.
Both my kiddos seem like they are stubborn/independent like me. Just things I was laying awake thinking about last night...
alaskamom 9 years ago
ooohhh .... well that changes things!
The remedy he needs to have is Medorrhinum.
I also wonder if you could get this in an LM potency instead, like LM1? However, if it is easier to get a C potency, 12 or 30c is fine.
The remedy he needs to have is Medorrhinum.
I also wonder if you could get this in an LM potency instead, like LM1? However, if it is easier to get a C potency, 12 or 30c is fine.
♡ Evocationer 9 years ago
It's probably going to work better for us to get the C potencies. I will check and see if I can get it locally.
alaskamom 9 years ago
It's a well known remedy. There should be various references to it all over the internet.
Rubrics/Symptoms that justify the choice:
Waking as if having slept one's fill, even after a short sleep
Desires to play at night
Pulling someone's hair
Sleeps at night on their knees, buttocks in the air - this is a keynote symptom of this remedy! This also gives other possible medicines (excluding those already tried):-
Eup-per
Lyc
Tub
Zinc
Great restlessness at night, sleepy but cannot sleep
Starts at the slightest thing
Irritated for nothing
Weeps easily
Child is irritable, angry
Refuses to go down early
Lies down late, has not slept well, takes a long time to fall asleep
Always very active at night, seems full of energy, does not want to sleep but wishes to instead play
Desires to be carried
Restlessness, moves constantly
Waking frequent
Waking as from fright
Having gone through the case again, there are some other interesting choices of medicines.
Tarantula
Mercurius
Theridion
Piper-m
Rubrics/Symptoms that justify the choice:
Waking as if having slept one's fill, even after a short sleep
Desires to play at night
Pulling someone's hair
Sleeps at night on their knees, buttocks in the air - this is a keynote symptom of this remedy! This also gives other possible medicines (excluding those already tried):-
Eup-per
Lyc
Tub
Zinc
Great restlessness at night, sleepy but cannot sleep
Starts at the slightest thing
Irritated for nothing
Weeps easily
Child is irritable, angry
Refuses to go down early
Lies down late, has not slept well, takes a long time to fall asleep
Always very active at night, seems full of energy, does not want to sleep but wishes to instead play
Desires to be carried
Restlessness, moves constantly
Waking frequent
Waking as from fright
Having gone through the case again, there are some other interesting choices of medicines.
Tarantula
Mercurius
Theridion
Piper-m
♡ Evocationer 9 years ago
Ah thank you. That makes me feel better. I did look it up, but a lot of the literature I read seemed to not fit at all with him. So it helped to read what you wrote.
alaskamom 9 years ago
So my local store does not have it, and even Hahnemann Labs does not carry it that I can tell. So I'll have to order from overseas (Helios). They do have LM potency. It starts at LM2. If I'm able to order it, should I order the liquid instead of the pillules?
alaskamom 9 years ago
Hahnemann Labs does not have any nosode listed. Either it is illegal to sell them in the state they operate out of, or you need a prescription, or they are selling them under another name. Email them to find out which it is.
♡ Evocationer 9 years ago
It seems like any remedies made from diseases are not sold here or at be need an RX. However, last time I ordered from Helios and Hahnemann at the same time, they arrived on the same day. It's probably about the same cost-wise.
alaskamom 9 years ago
I talked with my husband, and he just doesn't want to use something made from Gonorrhea.
I guess something else? I must confess, I don't feel very confident that homeopathy is the right road for Kody. At the same time, I don't have any other options.
[message edited by alaskamom on Thu, 02 Oct 2014 04:01:53 BST]
I guess something else? I must confess, I don't feel very confident that homeopathy is the right road for Kody. At the same time, I don't have any other options.
[message edited by alaskamom on Thu, 02 Oct 2014 04:01:53 BST]
alaskamom 9 years ago
There is no gonorrhoea in it. We already used one made from Arsenic. Does he understand how homoeopathic medicines are made? Once we hit 12c there is not a single molecule of the substance left in the remedy.
Two of the others I have suggested are made of crushed spider bodies, one is Mercury, and the last is a plant used by people to get high (Kava).
Unfortunately many of the things we use are poisonous or disgusting if you think of where they came from.
Avoiding remedies on that basis will not help Kody. What if it is the right one?
This is sometimes the reason I don't tell people the name of the remedy - to avoid this kind of reaction. I don't know what to suggest in convincing him, except to point out the method of dilution removes any trace of the substance. Maybe you can mention that vaccines contain disease matter too, quite a lot of it.
The right remedy will fix things. However we operate under a severe handicap here. You are the case taker, and I have to rely on your skill at taking homoeopathic symptoms from him to make my prescriptions - this is always difficult. Homoeopathy is fully capable of helping him I have no doubt - the question is not that, but will the way we are trying to use it be successful?
Two of the others I have suggested are made of crushed spider bodies, one is Mercury, and the last is a plant used by people to get high (Kava).
Unfortunately many of the things we use are poisonous or disgusting if you think of where they came from.
Avoiding remedies on that basis will not help Kody. What if it is the right one?
This is sometimes the reason I don't tell people the name of the remedy - to avoid this kind of reaction. I don't know what to suggest in convincing him, except to point out the method of dilution removes any trace of the substance. Maybe you can mention that vaccines contain disease matter too, quite a lot of it.
The right remedy will fix things. However we operate under a severe handicap here. You are the case taker, and I have to rely on your skill at taking homoeopathic symptoms from him to make my prescriptions - this is always difficult. Homoeopathy is fully capable of helping him I have no doubt - the question is not that, but will the way we are trying to use it be successful?
♡ Evocationer 9 years ago
I agree that I think it could help him if it weren't for you being handicapped in what you're trying to do. I just don't know what else to do.
alaskamom 9 years ago
I don't feel like anything is going to work for him, at this point. We've tried so much, but are no better off than when we started.
alaskamom 9 years ago
That is a feeling, it is not the reality. I have been doing this for a long time - there is always hope. Homoeopathy is capable of miracles - I am working hard to try and produce that miracle for you, but in the end you must be willing to endure. The worst that can happen is nothing.
What will you do otherwise at this point? You can ask someone else here for help - perhaps another perspective will help. I won't take that personally I can understand your frustration.
What will you do otherwise at this point? You can ask someone else here for help - perhaps another perspective will help. I won't take that personally I can understand your frustration.
♡ Evocationer 9 years ago
I don't know. I guess I'll just finish up on my questionnaire and then see how that goes, and come back to Kody at a later date.
No, I don't think I'd go with anyone else here. I wouldn't trust them the same as you. But if you think it would help, I guess I'd be up for it.
No, I don't think I'd go with anyone else here. I wouldn't trust them the same as you. But if you think it would help, I guess I'd be up for it.
alaskamom 9 years ago
OK, finished it finally!
What is the name of your complaint?
Anxiety
When did the complaint begin?
I can't even remember, but I'd say in my early teens.
Where is it located?
It feels like a tight ball in my chest, below the sternum.
What sort of sensations (or emotions) do you associate with it?
Sensation may or may not be painful
Tightness, sometimes feel like it causes me to restrict my breathing. I'll notice my breathing and the need to take a deep breath. It feels like a constant low hum of tension/anxiety in the background all day. A lot of times I'm able to ignore it, but it seems like it's always there. I notice it most at times where I really want to relax.
Does anything make it better or worse?
Sometimes I have moments, like when my son is nursing, where I'll get a feeling of well-being that overrides the anxiety, but mostly it sems like it's always there. As for worse, anything that causes me anxiety, like money worries, or illness in my children, or worries about my husband's work, will make it worse.
How does it bother you? How does it affect your day-to-day life?
Mostly I think it interferes with my ability to enjoy life, because it's like I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop. I can never just BE in the moment, I'm always thinking ahead to what might happen next. I'm too tense to just BE and relax and unwind.
How does it feel like to have this/these problem/s? What are your feelings about being a person with this kind of complaint
I feel like it must be something I'm doing wrong, that I'm being silly for being so tense when nothing is apparently wrong, why can't I just relax? I feel angry that I have to deal with it.
Did any event happen which caused the complaint? Describe the emotion associated with it.
Not outright, no. I think it started as a child, being the sick one--getting frequent bladder infections. I used to get them very often. I'd get better for a little while, then get hit with another one, have to go to the doctor (embarrassing having to describe what hurt and made me nervous being touched and prodded), get antibiotics, be hurting for days, then get better for a little while again and then all over again. Never able to be fully 100% well all the time. I believe the frequency decreased dramatically after around age 10 when my mom learned about natural remedies, and did garlic, cranberry, acidophilus, etc instead, which helped me heal up faster and not get infections as often. I always had to be careful though, and not eat too much sugar or drink too much juice, or I'd start to get another one. Seems too like the pain I would feel with a bladder infection was just a pain I could not deal with. I can handle a headache or a stubbed toe or what have you--I've also birthed two babies with no pain meds. But the bladder infection pain just is so crippling.
Anyway, I could see as a child how everyone worried over me, and how I made everyone tense, and I felt guilty being the one causing all that around me.
I also recall (and my mom told me as well), as a young child, going to the hospital to get diagnosed as to what was wrong with me (this was when they first found out about my kidney problem and the infections). They had to take me away from my mom, and I remember being in the hospital room and seeing her face in a little square window. I don't remember anything else, but apparently they did an intravenous pyelogram (with dye). They tried to do a voiding one, but I wouldn't cooperate with that.
What are the other symptoms started with it, esp. mental and physical symptoms, which are not directly related to the main complaint.
It seems to be something that was always there, so I'm not sure on that one, aside from the bladder infections. I started getting headaches sometime in my teens, that seemed migraine-like, where darkness helped and something cool on my head.
What are your reactions to it? I don't like it. I resent it. I feel sort of trapped by it. How do you manage it? I usually manage it by ignoring it. If I'm not thinking about it, it's not so depressing to feel so stuck with it.
When does it tend to occur?(time/day/other event) It seems to be constant, but I notice it more in the quiet times of the day, where I'm more alone with my thoughts. I like having quiet time, but I can't enjoy it like I'd like to, because I can ignore the anxiety better if I'm busy. I guess I feel best if I am busy being productive, because then my body is in motion and I'm using the energy from the anxiety in a positive way. But when I slow down, I'm still tense and feel bad inside because I can't relax and just be happy. I feel like something bad might happen.
What is the name of your complaint?
Depression (in the form of feeling anti-social, apathetic, worthless, tense, and irritable).
When did the complaint begin?
I'm not sure. It seems like it really made an appearance in my early 20s when my parents divorced, but I've always felt like I've been a low-energy kind of person---needing more sleep than the average person, not liking exercise, being worn out by socialization, being a loner, lonely, etc.
Where is it located? I'm not sure. It seems to be connected to the anxiety feeling in the pit of my stomach/chest.
What sort of sensations (or emotions) do you associate with it? Sensation may or may not be painful
Sensation of being uncomfortable with myself. I feel like I'm all wrong. That I'm broken, or I must have done something very wrong. I do feel like, as growing up, being the sick one, that I felt there must be something wrong with me as a child. I was always the burden, always the one having to be cared for (I'm very independent and don't like to need anything from anybody). I didn't like that role. I wanted to be strong, to not need anybody, but I was weak, dependent. I didn't like being weak. I still don't. There was something wrong with me---all my life, I have never been able to accomplish what I have wanted. It's always been out of reach. Even now (especially now), I feel what I want is all the more out of reach. I still have hope, but the depression sets in when it seems very far away.
Does anything make it better or worse?
It seems to get better when I feel I have a chance to do something that would make me feel like I'm moving toward a goal or an accomplishment. My goals have changed over the course of my life, but currently my goal is to end up living somewhere where I can not have to depend on anybody for anything--not even doctors for medicine. But to rely on myself and my smarts to do what I need to do. I suppose that's somewhat unrealistic. But it would be so wonderful to me, to be safe finally, not to have to rely on anyone.
As for worse, it gets worse when I have something that makes me feel like I'm never going to get anywhere in life, where I'm going to be stuck forever. So if my husband applies for a high-paying job, I get happier, but then if he never hears back about it, then I feel worse.
Also, not getting enough sleep makes it worse---which stinks because I haven't really gotten more than a few good nights' sleep in the last 4 1/2 years (since my oldest was born).
Something that made it worse in recent history was having that miscarriage 2+ years ago. It also made the anxiety worse, because if that baby could die, then what could happen to me or my family?
How does it bother you? How does it affect your day-to-day life? It bothers me because it saps my energy, makes me feel like I am a drag for everyone around me, makes me feel like I'm a bad mom, that I'm hurting my kids and their future. It makes me feel useless and worthless, and that my friends must wonder what is wrong with me that I can't just call them on a regular basis or that I might go a long time between get-togethers.
How does it feel like to have this/these problem/s? What are your feelings about being a person with this kind of complaint
I feel like a social misfit, like I am a broken piece of society, that I don't fit in, that I'm just going nowhere, that I shouldn't have been born.
Did any event happen which caused the complaint? Describe the emotion associated with it.
I feel like it must have been under the surface for a long time as a child, but it came to a head when my parents divorced after my mom found out my dad was cheating on her, in my early 20s. It felt like my world had fallen apart. I wasn't 100% secure in my dad's love for me, and then when I found out he had been cheating on my mom for a long time (we think possibly 5 years prior to her finding out), I felt like it was all fake--any happy feelings I'd had growing up, the feeling of being a family, Christmases, it was all a sham. I felt like he lied to all of us, to me. He was a traitor. And I felt like he must never have loved me at all. It was fake.
What are the other symptoms started with it, esp. mental and physical symptoms, which are not directly related to the main complaint. Headaches, seemed to increase around that time in my life. Feeling so physically tired. Needing to have at least 10 hours of sleep a night to be OK the next day. Although I normally liked a lot of sleep, I felt like I worried about my sleep more, I felt fragile, like I had to be extra careful or I'd fall apart.
What are your reactions to it? How do you manage it? I try to push through it a lot, but then sort of hit a wall after awhile where I just get tired of fighting and just be a blob for the day. Then I feel disgusted with myself afterwards, and don't really feel better.
When does it tend to occur?(time/day/other event) Seems worse around my cycles. Used to be during my period it was the worst, but after having my second son, now the PMS symptoms are around ovulation. Which in a way is handy, I suppose, because I can really predict it easily, as we are using the rhythm method for birth control (no hormones anymore).
Mental/emotional Sphere:
1. What issues are bothering you the most at the moment? Describe each one and your emotions and thoughts about it.
Right now, mostly what's bothering me is the not feeling like doing anything or going anywhere. I don't feel so deeply depressed as before, just sort of apathetic, so it's annoying to be feeling relatively better but still feel like a blob. I feel like I am my own block to a happier life--that if I could just get it together, I could shake things up and make a better life for us.
Also the lack of sex drive. I think the sex drive has been mostly dead for about a year and a half, barring a few infrequent upswings. It makes me feel both pressured and guilty---pressured because I know my husband is in the mood pretty much at any given moment (or so it feels), but then I'm never interested, so I feel guilty because I know it's no fun getting turned down over and over.
2. What are you reacting to the most at the moment? What are you finding you are more sensitive to? My son's current fever really makes me feel anxious and frustrated. I want to make him all better, but it seems nothing I do or try ever helps, and I feel like I can't move forward in life without being able to sleep better.
My older son seems to annoy me at times, because I want to help figure him out too, and he is so closed about what he's really feeling. Plus he seems to not want to even pay attention when we talk--his mind is always a million miles away. I thought he was going to be more like me, and I thought that would mean we'd connect more, but it seems we can't hardly connect at all.
3. Have your anxieties or fears changed at all? Is anything different provoking anxiety in you or is it something that has always done so but in a different way? I think it's more variations on a theme. Health and wealth is what it all boils down to, being concerned about them both. I also feel afraid that even if I do acheive my dreams, I will still be as unhappy as I am now.
The recent Ebola news in the US is scaring me too. I want to gather herbs to help have a way to try to combat it if it ends up spreading to our area, but I can't afford to buy them. So I just have to hope that if it does come here, that by that time I'd be able to buy herbs, or by that time we'd have been able to move up to Alaska like we want to do.
4. What are you tending to do at the moment to 'de-stress'? What are you finding you must do to give yourself some enjoyment or pleasure? Mostly for stress I just zone out on the computer. Having a little social interaction about topics I'm interested in (I'm on an herbal group online) helps me feel like I'm at least learning something, or moving forward in a small way toward what I want in the future. As for pleasure, I don't really have time to think about that. I steal moments during the day to read up on things that interest me on the computer, but I don't ever get time to just do what I want to do, really. At least, not often enough to be able to plan for it.
5. Have your thoughts about things changed at all? Do you notice you have a different attitude, to everything or to specific things?
I feel like there's some improvement as far as, I feel more like I want to make plans for the future and map it all out, maybe feel more like I have a future that I can see more clearly. At least, what I'd like it to be is more clear. I feel like the spiritual aspect of things is starting to budge a little. I felt really, really stuck with that for a long time. But it seems like I have a little more hope about it and don't feel like it's such a dead end anymore. I feel like I might get out of the hole I'm in.
6. Where do you feel most stuck at the moment? What feels like it is resisting change? Where do you feel most blocked or obstructed? What feels like must happen to alter that? I feel like I have a bit more of a desire or hope or aspiration to better things, but I feel like I'm no closer to reaching my goals. I feel I have no way of making anything happen in my life. That I'm stuck living whatever life is already laid out for me. I can't break out of it. I have no idea what needs to happen--I feel like if anything were to be able to be different now, I would have to turn back the clock and re-write pretty much all of my history, childhood and all. I think I would need different parents.
7. What sort of changes have occurred in your relationships with people? I have pulled further away from my mom and my sister. I feel like the more I learn about alternative healing through homeopathy and herbs, and the more I find my own way with spirituality, the less I have in common with them. I used to be a lot closer to them, or think that once I got my spirituality in order, I'd be back in line with them. But the more time moves forward, the less I think I will fit with them at all. They're both going forward with their lives, and I am moving in a different direction. I feel like I'm going to be pulling up stakes, figuratively and literally, with friends and family. I don't feel like I want to spend time with them because I don't want to live here, anyway, and the less I am connected to them, the better.
8. Have your dreams changed at all? What kind of things are occurring in them? Are there any repeating images, events or feelings? Seems like my dreams are more normal for me, in that I tend to dream vividly about what I've been thinking about and feeling throughout the day. Seemed like for awhile, earlier on in Kody's little life, my dreams were a little behind, and had to catch up to where they were from the current day. For example, last night Kody had a fever, and I was worried about him. I dreamed that our family was on a cruise ship, and I was sitting in one room with my husband and older son. Then realized Kody wasn't there, and went looking for him. I found him in the next room, sitting up in bed just staring at the TV. I felt bad because he had been alone for so long. Then I saw that his face looked like he had bumps breaking out on it, and across his forehead and upper face it looked like a hemorrhagic rash (after reading about Ebola yesterday). Then I freaked out, and was trying to show my husband but he wasn't paying attention. The ship's doctor stopped by, but didn't seem overly concerned and just wanted to give him Tylenol for his fever. Of course! Story of Kody's life, with doctors anyway.
I also dreamed we were packing to move to Alaska, preparing everything. So--long story short, seems my dreams are what I would normally expect, a little easier to read, I think. They make more sense in the context of my day-to-day inner thoughts.
9. Overall, what is the difference now between how you were prior to the last remedy and now?
Prior to taking the Nat-Mur, I felt like things were maybe tentatively going OK, but still not as great as I wanted them to be. My sex drive had gotten tiny bit of a boost. But I felt like I was still antisocial and didn't feel like going out of the house or doing anything and felt bad for my kids being cooped up all the time.
As it stands now, I think I'm a little bit worse off compared to prior to the Nat-mur. Sex drive really bottomed out, constipation is coming back a bit, feeling more anxious about health concerns and feeling like I just don't have any energy to do much of anything. Yet, still wanting to get those things done (chores, goals, etc), so feeling aggravated at my shortcomings when I know what I want to accomplish but feel I just can't muster up the wherewithal to do it. I feel like after Nat-Mur, I am more confronted with my own inadequacies, they seem more glaring to me, as if I'm taking a hard look at myself and I really don't like what I see.
General Sphere:
Please note any changes in the following areas. Changes may be i) New symptoms ii) Old symptoms that have reappeared iii) Current symptoms with some features altered iv) Current symptoms that are worse in some way
1. Sleep --I can't tell if it's any better or worse. I feel a lot more tired through the day and I don't know if that's from Kody, or if it's me. I just want to fall into bed in the evening, but I have to wait several hours later until Kody is ready to go to sleep.
2. Appetite --So-so. I'd say maybe a teensy bit worse, as in old symptoms reasserting themselves, nothing new.
3. Thirst ---Seems like I am not as thirsty as I should be, or like I can tell my mouth is dry but don't really feel the desire to drink as much as normal. This seems new, but seems to be related to just feeling apathetic overall. I end up drinking a lot before bed, because it hits me all of a sudden, and then have to wake up to pee and feel thirsty again at that time.
4. Bowel function --constipation is reappearing, after having what I felt like was ideal function prior to taking Nat-Mur.
5. Bladder function--Seems the same.
6. Sweat--Noticed a bit of night sweats after not having any problem with them prior to taking Nat-M.
7. Sexuality --Either it's worse than before the Nat-M, or I'm just comparing it to my husband's increased drive (since starting the Lac-E) and finding it sadly lacking.
8. Menses --this cycle, I'm having an especially long one. Prior to the remedy, I was having relatively short cycles (as compared to normal prior to Kody's birth), generally only about 3 or 4 days total from start to finish. Now, I think it's been about 5 days (not sure how many exactly), and it's still going steady. So, a bit more like pre-Kody normal for me on that one.
9. Environmental sensitivity--I'm not sure if this means sensitivity to emotional environment, or to weather and dust and things like that. Either way, I feel like there's no change to report here.
Also, I did want to mention on my husband's thread, that I thought the back pain was new since this past weekend, but he told me it's been going on for several weeks now. I think it just got worse toward the end of last week, so I was noticing it more. He tends to try to not show it if he's in pain, so he was probably just able to keep it to himself before.
If it's easier, I can put this back over on his post. Would you advise any change? It is interfering with his day-to-day life.
What is the name of your complaint?
Anxiety
When did the complaint begin?
I can't even remember, but I'd say in my early teens.
Where is it located?
It feels like a tight ball in my chest, below the sternum.
What sort of sensations (or emotions) do you associate with it?
Sensation may or may not be painful
Tightness, sometimes feel like it causes me to restrict my breathing. I'll notice my breathing and the need to take a deep breath. It feels like a constant low hum of tension/anxiety in the background all day. A lot of times I'm able to ignore it, but it seems like it's always there. I notice it most at times where I really want to relax.
Does anything make it better or worse?
Sometimes I have moments, like when my son is nursing, where I'll get a feeling of well-being that overrides the anxiety, but mostly it sems like it's always there. As for worse, anything that causes me anxiety, like money worries, or illness in my children, or worries about my husband's work, will make it worse.
How does it bother you? How does it affect your day-to-day life?
Mostly I think it interferes with my ability to enjoy life, because it's like I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop. I can never just BE in the moment, I'm always thinking ahead to what might happen next. I'm too tense to just BE and relax and unwind.
How does it feel like to have this/these problem/s? What are your feelings about being a person with this kind of complaint
I feel like it must be something I'm doing wrong, that I'm being silly for being so tense when nothing is apparently wrong, why can't I just relax? I feel angry that I have to deal with it.
Did any event happen which caused the complaint? Describe the emotion associated with it.
Not outright, no. I think it started as a child, being the sick one--getting frequent bladder infections. I used to get them very often. I'd get better for a little while, then get hit with another one, have to go to the doctor (embarrassing having to describe what hurt and made me nervous being touched and prodded), get antibiotics, be hurting for days, then get better for a little while again and then all over again. Never able to be fully 100% well all the time. I believe the frequency decreased dramatically after around age 10 when my mom learned about natural remedies, and did garlic, cranberry, acidophilus, etc instead, which helped me heal up faster and not get infections as often. I always had to be careful though, and not eat too much sugar or drink too much juice, or I'd start to get another one. Seems too like the pain I would feel with a bladder infection was just a pain I could not deal with. I can handle a headache or a stubbed toe or what have you--I've also birthed two babies with no pain meds. But the bladder infection pain just is so crippling.
Anyway, I could see as a child how everyone worried over me, and how I made everyone tense, and I felt guilty being the one causing all that around me.
I also recall (and my mom told me as well), as a young child, going to the hospital to get diagnosed as to what was wrong with me (this was when they first found out about my kidney problem and the infections). They had to take me away from my mom, and I remember being in the hospital room and seeing her face in a little square window. I don't remember anything else, but apparently they did an intravenous pyelogram (with dye). They tried to do a voiding one, but I wouldn't cooperate with that.
What are the other symptoms started with it, esp. mental and physical symptoms, which are not directly related to the main complaint.
It seems to be something that was always there, so I'm not sure on that one, aside from the bladder infections. I started getting headaches sometime in my teens, that seemed migraine-like, where darkness helped and something cool on my head.
What are your reactions to it? I don't like it. I resent it. I feel sort of trapped by it. How do you manage it? I usually manage it by ignoring it. If I'm not thinking about it, it's not so depressing to feel so stuck with it.
When does it tend to occur?(time/day/other event) It seems to be constant, but I notice it more in the quiet times of the day, where I'm more alone with my thoughts. I like having quiet time, but I can't enjoy it like I'd like to, because I can ignore the anxiety better if I'm busy. I guess I feel best if I am busy being productive, because then my body is in motion and I'm using the energy from the anxiety in a positive way. But when I slow down, I'm still tense and feel bad inside because I can't relax and just be happy. I feel like something bad might happen.
What is the name of your complaint?
Depression (in the form of feeling anti-social, apathetic, worthless, tense, and irritable).
When did the complaint begin?
I'm not sure. It seems like it really made an appearance in my early 20s when my parents divorced, but I've always felt like I've been a low-energy kind of person---needing more sleep than the average person, not liking exercise, being worn out by socialization, being a loner, lonely, etc.
Where is it located? I'm not sure. It seems to be connected to the anxiety feeling in the pit of my stomach/chest.
What sort of sensations (or emotions) do you associate with it? Sensation may or may not be painful
Sensation of being uncomfortable with myself. I feel like I'm all wrong. That I'm broken, or I must have done something very wrong. I do feel like, as growing up, being the sick one, that I felt there must be something wrong with me as a child. I was always the burden, always the one having to be cared for (I'm very independent and don't like to need anything from anybody). I didn't like that role. I wanted to be strong, to not need anybody, but I was weak, dependent. I didn't like being weak. I still don't. There was something wrong with me---all my life, I have never been able to accomplish what I have wanted. It's always been out of reach. Even now (especially now), I feel what I want is all the more out of reach. I still have hope, but the depression sets in when it seems very far away.
Does anything make it better or worse?
It seems to get better when I feel I have a chance to do something that would make me feel like I'm moving toward a goal or an accomplishment. My goals have changed over the course of my life, but currently my goal is to end up living somewhere where I can not have to depend on anybody for anything--not even doctors for medicine. But to rely on myself and my smarts to do what I need to do. I suppose that's somewhat unrealistic. But it would be so wonderful to me, to be safe finally, not to have to rely on anyone.
As for worse, it gets worse when I have something that makes me feel like I'm never going to get anywhere in life, where I'm going to be stuck forever. So if my husband applies for a high-paying job, I get happier, but then if he never hears back about it, then I feel worse.
Also, not getting enough sleep makes it worse---which stinks because I haven't really gotten more than a few good nights' sleep in the last 4 1/2 years (since my oldest was born).
Something that made it worse in recent history was having that miscarriage 2+ years ago. It also made the anxiety worse, because if that baby could die, then what could happen to me or my family?
How does it bother you? How does it affect your day-to-day life? It bothers me because it saps my energy, makes me feel like I am a drag for everyone around me, makes me feel like I'm a bad mom, that I'm hurting my kids and their future. It makes me feel useless and worthless, and that my friends must wonder what is wrong with me that I can't just call them on a regular basis or that I might go a long time between get-togethers.
How does it feel like to have this/these problem/s? What are your feelings about being a person with this kind of complaint
I feel like a social misfit, like I am a broken piece of society, that I don't fit in, that I'm just going nowhere, that I shouldn't have been born.
Did any event happen which caused the complaint? Describe the emotion associated with it.
I feel like it must have been under the surface for a long time as a child, but it came to a head when my parents divorced after my mom found out my dad was cheating on her, in my early 20s. It felt like my world had fallen apart. I wasn't 100% secure in my dad's love for me, and then when I found out he had been cheating on my mom for a long time (we think possibly 5 years prior to her finding out), I felt like it was all fake--any happy feelings I'd had growing up, the feeling of being a family, Christmases, it was all a sham. I felt like he lied to all of us, to me. He was a traitor. And I felt like he must never have loved me at all. It was fake.
What are the other symptoms started with it, esp. mental and physical symptoms, which are not directly related to the main complaint. Headaches, seemed to increase around that time in my life. Feeling so physically tired. Needing to have at least 10 hours of sleep a night to be OK the next day. Although I normally liked a lot of sleep, I felt like I worried about my sleep more, I felt fragile, like I had to be extra careful or I'd fall apart.
What are your reactions to it? How do you manage it? I try to push through it a lot, but then sort of hit a wall after awhile where I just get tired of fighting and just be a blob for the day. Then I feel disgusted with myself afterwards, and don't really feel better.
When does it tend to occur?(time/day/other event) Seems worse around my cycles. Used to be during my period it was the worst, but after having my second son, now the PMS symptoms are around ovulation. Which in a way is handy, I suppose, because I can really predict it easily, as we are using the rhythm method for birth control (no hormones anymore).
Mental/emotional Sphere:
1. What issues are bothering you the most at the moment? Describe each one and your emotions and thoughts about it.
Right now, mostly what's bothering me is the not feeling like doing anything or going anywhere. I don't feel so deeply depressed as before, just sort of apathetic, so it's annoying to be feeling relatively better but still feel like a blob. I feel like I am my own block to a happier life--that if I could just get it together, I could shake things up and make a better life for us.
Also the lack of sex drive. I think the sex drive has been mostly dead for about a year and a half, barring a few infrequent upswings. It makes me feel both pressured and guilty---pressured because I know my husband is in the mood pretty much at any given moment (or so it feels), but then I'm never interested, so I feel guilty because I know it's no fun getting turned down over and over.
2. What are you reacting to the most at the moment? What are you finding you are more sensitive to? My son's current fever really makes me feel anxious and frustrated. I want to make him all better, but it seems nothing I do or try ever helps, and I feel like I can't move forward in life without being able to sleep better.
My older son seems to annoy me at times, because I want to help figure him out too, and he is so closed about what he's really feeling. Plus he seems to not want to even pay attention when we talk--his mind is always a million miles away. I thought he was going to be more like me, and I thought that would mean we'd connect more, but it seems we can't hardly connect at all.
3. Have your anxieties or fears changed at all? Is anything different provoking anxiety in you or is it something that has always done so but in a different way? I think it's more variations on a theme. Health and wealth is what it all boils down to, being concerned about them both. I also feel afraid that even if I do acheive my dreams, I will still be as unhappy as I am now.
The recent Ebola news in the US is scaring me too. I want to gather herbs to help have a way to try to combat it if it ends up spreading to our area, but I can't afford to buy them. So I just have to hope that if it does come here, that by that time I'd be able to buy herbs, or by that time we'd have been able to move up to Alaska like we want to do.
4. What are you tending to do at the moment to 'de-stress'? What are you finding you must do to give yourself some enjoyment or pleasure? Mostly for stress I just zone out on the computer. Having a little social interaction about topics I'm interested in (I'm on an herbal group online) helps me feel like I'm at least learning something, or moving forward in a small way toward what I want in the future. As for pleasure, I don't really have time to think about that. I steal moments during the day to read up on things that interest me on the computer, but I don't ever get time to just do what I want to do, really. At least, not often enough to be able to plan for it.
5. Have your thoughts about things changed at all? Do you notice you have a different attitude, to everything or to specific things?
I feel like there's some improvement as far as, I feel more like I want to make plans for the future and map it all out, maybe feel more like I have a future that I can see more clearly. At least, what I'd like it to be is more clear. I feel like the spiritual aspect of things is starting to budge a little. I felt really, really stuck with that for a long time. But it seems like I have a little more hope about it and don't feel like it's such a dead end anymore. I feel like I might get out of the hole I'm in.
6. Where do you feel most stuck at the moment? What feels like it is resisting change? Where do you feel most blocked or obstructed? What feels like must happen to alter that? I feel like I have a bit more of a desire or hope or aspiration to better things, but I feel like I'm no closer to reaching my goals. I feel I have no way of making anything happen in my life. That I'm stuck living whatever life is already laid out for me. I can't break out of it. I have no idea what needs to happen--I feel like if anything were to be able to be different now, I would have to turn back the clock and re-write pretty much all of my history, childhood and all. I think I would need different parents.
7. What sort of changes have occurred in your relationships with people? I have pulled further away from my mom and my sister. I feel like the more I learn about alternative healing through homeopathy and herbs, and the more I find my own way with spirituality, the less I have in common with them. I used to be a lot closer to them, or think that once I got my spirituality in order, I'd be back in line with them. But the more time moves forward, the less I think I will fit with them at all. They're both going forward with their lives, and I am moving in a different direction. I feel like I'm going to be pulling up stakes, figuratively and literally, with friends and family. I don't feel like I want to spend time with them because I don't want to live here, anyway, and the less I am connected to them, the better.
8. Have your dreams changed at all? What kind of things are occurring in them? Are there any repeating images, events or feelings? Seems like my dreams are more normal for me, in that I tend to dream vividly about what I've been thinking about and feeling throughout the day. Seemed like for awhile, earlier on in Kody's little life, my dreams were a little behind, and had to catch up to where they were from the current day. For example, last night Kody had a fever, and I was worried about him. I dreamed that our family was on a cruise ship, and I was sitting in one room with my husband and older son. Then realized Kody wasn't there, and went looking for him. I found him in the next room, sitting up in bed just staring at the TV. I felt bad because he had been alone for so long. Then I saw that his face looked like he had bumps breaking out on it, and across his forehead and upper face it looked like a hemorrhagic rash (after reading about Ebola yesterday). Then I freaked out, and was trying to show my husband but he wasn't paying attention. The ship's doctor stopped by, but didn't seem overly concerned and just wanted to give him Tylenol for his fever. Of course! Story of Kody's life, with doctors anyway.
I also dreamed we were packing to move to Alaska, preparing everything. So--long story short, seems my dreams are what I would normally expect, a little easier to read, I think. They make more sense in the context of my day-to-day inner thoughts.
9. Overall, what is the difference now between how you were prior to the last remedy and now?
Prior to taking the Nat-Mur, I felt like things were maybe tentatively going OK, but still not as great as I wanted them to be. My sex drive had gotten tiny bit of a boost. But I felt like I was still antisocial and didn't feel like going out of the house or doing anything and felt bad for my kids being cooped up all the time.
As it stands now, I think I'm a little bit worse off compared to prior to the Nat-mur. Sex drive really bottomed out, constipation is coming back a bit, feeling more anxious about health concerns and feeling like I just don't have any energy to do much of anything. Yet, still wanting to get those things done (chores, goals, etc), so feeling aggravated at my shortcomings when I know what I want to accomplish but feel I just can't muster up the wherewithal to do it. I feel like after Nat-Mur, I am more confronted with my own inadequacies, they seem more glaring to me, as if I'm taking a hard look at myself and I really don't like what I see.
General Sphere:
Please note any changes in the following areas. Changes may be i) New symptoms ii) Old symptoms that have reappeared iii) Current symptoms with some features altered iv) Current symptoms that are worse in some way
1. Sleep --I can't tell if it's any better or worse. I feel a lot more tired through the day and I don't know if that's from Kody, or if it's me. I just want to fall into bed in the evening, but I have to wait several hours later until Kody is ready to go to sleep.
2. Appetite --So-so. I'd say maybe a teensy bit worse, as in old symptoms reasserting themselves, nothing new.
3. Thirst ---Seems like I am not as thirsty as I should be, or like I can tell my mouth is dry but don't really feel the desire to drink as much as normal. This seems new, but seems to be related to just feeling apathetic overall. I end up drinking a lot before bed, because it hits me all of a sudden, and then have to wake up to pee and feel thirsty again at that time.
4. Bowel function --constipation is reappearing, after having what I felt like was ideal function prior to taking Nat-Mur.
5. Bladder function--Seems the same.
6. Sweat--Noticed a bit of night sweats after not having any problem with them prior to taking Nat-M.
7. Sexuality --Either it's worse than before the Nat-M, or I'm just comparing it to my husband's increased drive (since starting the Lac-E) and finding it sadly lacking.
8. Menses --this cycle, I'm having an especially long one. Prior to the remedy, I was having relatively short cycles (as compared to normal prior to Kody's birth), generally only about 3 or 4 days total from start to finish. Now, I think it's been about 5 days (not sure how many exactly), and it's still going steady. So, a bit more like pre-Kody normal for me on that one.
9. Environmental sensitivity--I'm not sure if this means sensitivity to emotional environment, or to weather and dust and things like that. Either way, I feel like there's no change to report here.
Also, I did want to mention on my husband's thread, that I thought the back pain was new since this past weekend, but he told me it's been going on for several weeks now. I think it just got worse toward the end of last week, so I was noticing it more. He tends to try to not show it if he's in pain, so he was probably just able to keep it to himself before.
If it's easier, I can put this back over on his post. Would you advise any change? It is interfering with his day-to-day life.
alaskamom 9 years ago
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