Can Someone Take Over Case - Throat Issues

Ok here it is. Evocationer was not available.

I hope I have presented it well.

I will start with mental, emotional, then physical.

Mental: Sadness, Extreme depression, to the point
where I felt like I wasn't alive,
Lifeless,
hopeless, negativity in general, feeling
like I may never be happy in life, a great
lack of motivation from depression,
anxieties about purpose in life,
about work, about losing job, stress about
those same things. Felt like a failure.

Can have very low confidence at times, and
very high other times, can be brought down
very easily by others, by myself, I can be
my own worst enemy, can beat myself up
mentally, thinking about mistakes I've
made constantly, things that have bothered
me, focusing and remembering the negatives
more than the positive moments,
repeating them in my head, perfectionist
mentality.

Complain a lot about things, fussy, things
need to be a certain way, picky, picky
eater.



Emotional: Very angry in general, anger is a
familiar emotion, sadness, always felt
alone, no partner in life, feel empty.

Crying makes me feel better, sometimes,
not always. Sometimes crying angers me
more. Sensitive in general. Affected by
what people say.

Anger makes me want to smash something,
using fists, makes me "grrrr" or growl.
Makes me breath harder, seething.

Can embarrass easily some times.


Physical:

Throat - Esophagus: Lots of phlegm -
mucus, more like phlegm, thick, sticky,
clear, white color, hard to get out, have
to hawk up a few times till comes out,
sometimes it will get stuck when coming
out, stuck on tongue, or somewhere else on
mouth, have to pull it out. Just a lot of
phlegm all day, worse in morning, especially after breakfast,
or eating large amounts, better at night where there is almost
no phlegm, cannot swallow phlegm (impossible),
have to hawk up and spit out. A lot of throat clearing too.
Phlegm seems to come or start from the nasal area, or in between
nose and throat, and then it feels like it is moving down, so I
just pull it down and it goes to my throat but then I must expel
it out.

Sometimes it is mucus that is green in color, or a mix of green
and yellow, and it's small, like a small booger, very hard to
get it out. I have to cough a lot to finally hawk it up and out.
I end up almost losing my voice because of this one.

Difficulty in swallowing, like little pieces of food gets stuck,
have to drink something to pass it down, re-swallowing doesn't
always help.

Belches - Sour or Bitter belches, like belch in reversal, feels
like it comes up and goes back down, with undigested food or liquid,
happens a lot during and after meals. It's not a normal burp that
comes up and goes out providing relief, it's the opposite, comes
up and goes back down, sometimes hard to swallow.

Neck - stiff, hard to move around. The back as well.


Ok now I am going to summarize the physical symptoms in order and it
might help, because these symptoms are over a span of many years and
this might narrow down the remedy.

The disease started out with phlegm, then it progressed to the swallowing
difficulty, then progressed to the belches. So, it continued with all
the symptoms before it, just kept getting worse.

A lot of weight loss during this time, after swallowing problem and belching started due to inability to eat.

Body Overall: Always been thin, then got to very thin after inability to eat,
underweight, unhealthy looking.

Weird habits - Peculiars: I twitch a lot, twitch in the lips, to the point
where I can look down and see my lips, like im stretching my lips and making
a kissing face. Twitch in the face also, like twitching both cheeks.

I also spit a lot.

Cannot eat the amount I want to or need to. The symptoms get worse such
as the difficulty swallowing and belches and I cannot continue eating.
Inability to eat. I am eating half the amount I should be.


Other info: Hold grudges, hard to let things go, hard to forgive people,
hard to forget the past, especially forgive those that I do not know too
well. Very sensitive to music, sounds, hear things very well, sensitive
to noise. Big passion for music, it also helps me deal with things, feel better.

I can be very irritable, especially in the morning. Do not like to talk at
all, do not want to hear a sound at all.

Voice - I have always noticed my voice, felt self-conscious, always wanted it
to sound good. Desire to be a singer. But even before that desire, I have
noticed my voice even when talking and always been nervous about it.

Voice will crack at times. I will clear my throat a lot because of this or
because something is bothering me in the throat. Then the phlegm and mucus
starts and comes out. The mucus I was describing earlier, which was small and
green, I go through a coughing fit, which starts with the feeling like
if I talk, no sound will come out, it will crack and can't talk until I clear
it. I clear and clear and it barely comes out. I cough and clear and eventually
it will come out. I feel a lot better after that and voice goes back to normal.

STORY:

As far as when it began, it was right after getting my first IT job, my first serious job in the
line of work I choose to do for the rest of my life. It was an internship and I had to prove
myself to be kept and hired permanently and I was very worried. Felt that I wasn't doing a
good job and could blow the opportunity. Felt like I made too many mistakes and that I
wasn't smart enough, I was slow mentally, and felt stupid. Confidence went down a lot during
this time and desire to eat. When I am sad, troubled, worried, low confidence, I tend to eat
a lot less. Lose appetite. Lose desire to eat, just very small amount to survive.

I ended working there permanently and felt good that I was hired permanently. My confidence went
up for a while, but it was a very stressful environment for many reasons and I felt that I really never
got over my insecurities and confidence issues. Like I still wasn't very intelligent. Also, it involved
dealing with a lot of other people, different types, and talking a lot on the phone. I wasn't used to
this. It was hard, speaking in front of people, I was uncomfortable sometimes, dealing in stressful
situations. Also had problems with people within my department, more so than others. I worked
there for 3 years. I also felt that I didn't like my job, that I wasn't fulfilled continuing in this career.
Felt that I should do something creative, that I should do music for a living, which is what I am
still pursuing even now. To write songs for a living and to sing. I dreaded going to work everyday
and doing something that I was not passionate about and didn't like anymore.

I also didn't like talking about my problems. Kept them inside. Tried to deal with them myself. It's
hard for me to open up about the problems, even with people close to me, like parents, family, or
close friends. I don't know why. It's kind of like a sign of weakness to me. But whenever I do open
up to others, I usually feel better. Still hard to get to that point though. I ended getting laid off, I
got to a point where I was very angry, angry at myself, co-workers, what I was doing in life. I got
laid off and didn't work for a year looking for a job. Got very depressed and then got a job but the
same problems again. Then I quit after a few months. So, basically after this, my career and life
became very unstable. Getting fired or quitting very early on, unemployment, looking for work, anxiety
and more stress because of all of this. This is when the disease progressed. Progressed meaning
got worse and got the new symptoms of difficulty swallowing.

With all this instability and staying home depressed, I felt like a huge failure and big disappointment
to my parents. They didn't help either, made me feel worse when talking to them. Made me feel
worthless and useless. Like I was wasting my life. I felt like I should be dead, like I didn't deserve to
live, and didn't deserve to eat. Eating was always a reward or gift or something I enjoyed up until then.
Ended up eating less, the phlegm got a lot more and thicker, like I could choke on it. Almost did once
while driving. Had to pull over and let out phlegm for a few minutes, barely getting moments of breath in
between. That doesn't happen anymore but it was a very traumatizing experience, very scary. Some
people had to help me, it was very embarrassing too. After the symptoms of phlegm got worse, then the
difficulty swallowing started. I also thought a lot about death while I was at home and depressed. Thought
about all the ways I could die and at any moment, choking being one and feeling helpless in that situation.
This all happened around the same time. And had an unhealthy amount of thoughts of death and was
very scared, Not anymore but at the time it was bad.

The belching started after some allopathic doctors suggested I take some reflux controlling medications
and then had to stop because of side effects. While stopping and waiting for other meds, like about 2 weeks
or more of waiting, all my symptoms got worse, I could barely eat, and then these belches started that I
described earlier. They did not tell me this would happen and they had me stop taking meds all of a sudden.
It didn't even make sense for them to give me meds for acid reflux or silent reflux, whatever they call it,
because I did not feel any reflux. As you can see, there is nothing like that described in my story. But I was
desperate, I didn't know about natural medicine, or homeopathy back then.

Ok, well I think that's pretty much it all.

Please let me know if you need more details on something or have other questions.

Thank you so much in advance.