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Osteoporosis and more, chronic case for David Page 11 of 16

This is just a forum. Assume posts are not from medical professionals.
So it sounds like you are not feeling very confident about cypraea.

I have so much trouble writing about my history but it is easier answering specific questions. So I am willing to answer anything specific. I think when it's a specific question I can focus on that thread only, without all of the bits and pieces of memories, feelings, traumas and more getting all crazy and threatening in my head and heart. When that happens I shut down.

It is really weird how I start sweating every time I start typing a reply now. I don't think that happened before the redosing.
 
tahbi last decade
That isn't true. I belive Cypr-e is doing its work. It is your reactions that I find so concerning - I just cannot judge them for myself, cannot feel or see the changes. I have to rely on words and they are tricky. Normally I would watch gestures, listen to the pace of the voice, be alert for the old access words and for any changes in imagery. It is just so hampering to operate this way with complex cases like yours.

Don't feel for a second I have abandoned hope. That is not going to happen.
 
brisbanehomoeopath last decade
In clinic I can get an overall impression of what is happening. Here it is all bits and pieces - hard to get a feel for the totality.
 
brisbanehomoeopath last decade
Whew! And thank you!

As long as I know you still feel hopefull I can calm down. And you have not become arrogant with me like most practitioners when my body does not follow the rules. As soon as that happens it's fight or flight.... but I'm absolutely not a fighter to other humans so I run like hell to my controlled, seemingly safe environment... my cave.

Let me know what will help you and I'll try my best, David
[message edited by tahbi on Thu, 17 Nov 2011 06:59:54 GMT]
 
tahbi last decade
I just want to add that the aggravations I have had since working with you may be very intense at times, but thankfully I'm able to come up for air before I reach the tipping point. That rarely happens with MDs, allopathy and certainly their tests. They do one little thing wrong and I have serious rebound reactions for weeks or more. The local hospital will not allow me to have anything done there anymore because they were freaked out by my reactions. The problem is that they do not think independently after med school. They are not taught to troubleshoot, only to pick the closest category of problem and insert the patient's name there.

You are the opposite and that is why I'm here, even if it's not ideal.
[message edited by tahbi on Thu, 17 Nov 2011 05:30:35 GMT]
 
tahbi last decade
We definitely need to increase the dilution level though - there is a level where you will react only for a short period. We just have to find it.
 
brisbanehomoeopath last decade
Hi David,

I slept very deeply and feel better, more neutral rather than very agitated and symptomatic so far this morning.

Thanks for not giving up on me...
~tahbi
 
tahbi last decade
Hi David,

Today has been an interesting day I think. My sense of taste is back and I really appreciated my late breakfast of quinoa, kale and carrots with Bragg's Liquid Aminos again. That was a very good sign, as I had really messed up my clean diet since this last dose of cypr-e. Again I could not get going until noon. I feel like a child not wanting to go to school, and I certainly have a long history of that. I did finally force myself to do the steep hike that I've been trying to do twice a week to challenge my bones, and walk the long flat road the other days of the week.

I felt tired and my mood was not great but I was very relieved that the aggravation seemed to have calmed way down or maybe even gone. Half way up the trail with my dog, I tripped and went flying forward, face down on the rocky trail. It took several minutes to move and take inventory of my body parts because I was hurting. The very good news is that nothing broke, but for several hours I was concerned that I had broken my right hand at around the karate chop point. I landed very hard, scraped my chin and twisted my right arm but thankfully my hips and back seemed okay. So there I was with my dog looking at me not sure if I should continue up the cold, wet, leaf-covered rocky trail that was very slippery. I think I tripped because I felt so tired I was not lifting my right foot high enough to clear a rock. I sat there thinking about the metaphor of falling down, feeling hurt physically and having my confidence shaken with the rest of the trail steeper and still ahead of me.... and I thought about this homeopathy process and the aggravations that shake my confidence, hope and body. I continued up the trail to the peak. It was very cold, wet and gloomy so I did not stay long. My hand hurt a lot and I felt emotionally numb.

When I got down the not very tall mountain I went to do some errands that I had to do. At one point I was checking out at a store and before I knew it I was overcome with a deep craving for the chocolate I had been able to resist for the last two months. I have a very long, clandestine history with milk chocolate. It was like I had no will to stop buying it and eating a giant bar of it. My taste buds certainly thanked me this time. I then realized that my hand that had really been hurt in the fall I took was barely hurting at all anymore. I had not been able to grip my hand at all after the fall and there was even a bruise starting on the outside of my hand. It was healed from the fall, unfortunately not from the Dupuytren's and joint issues. And my arm and right side that I had twisted and landed hard on seems fine now also.

I'm assuming this is a very good sign for the remedy. I would like to exorcize the binges that are coming over me so strong and suddenly though. lol


[message edited by tahbi on Fri, 18 Nov 2011 00:32:15 GMT]
[message edited by tahbi on Fri, 18 Nov 2011 00:33:51 GMT]
 
tahbi last decade
Well that is very interesting, very much so. Seems like something is happening, something different - would you agree?
 
brisbanehomoeopath last decade
Hi David,

I hope the remedy is 'the one'. Tonight I've been coughing again and I ate too much. I really don't like what has happened with my appetite and binging. I had worked so hard the last two months. I had finally gotten to the place where I was not craving and stuffing myself. And now this is really messing with me. Yes, the binging and cravings were an issue in most of my life but it makes me feel awful and out of control.... which it truly is.

My body is feeling a bit sore from the fall now but my hand is remarkably pain free. What I wrote about the metaphor is typical for me. The strange thing though is that I was feeling quite numb emotionally all day. But there was no way I would go back down that mountain without going to the top first.

Do you have any thoughts about the almost constant liver/gallbladder area pressure that has not quit for several years? I guess if it was c-
ncer I would have died by now. It is very uncomfortable though. Last summer I fell on a rock in the river and broke a rib right in the same place. It was awful pain for months. The rib finally healed and that pressure is just like it was before the break.

I feel better when I don't eat anything! The pressure is awful.
[message edited by tahbi on Fri, 18 Nov 2011 04:26:34 GMT]
 
tahbi last decade
Hi David,

I did not sleep well at all again. My legs have a very itchy spot just above the inside knee that has been driving me crazy for the last day or two. There is no rash at all but it's been hard not to scratch and dig like crazy. That particular spot is worse on my left leg.

I awoke from sleep very aware that I had been dreaming about my Mom. Very sad, and then the same itching and tight feeling around my legs from the knee down. I felt very out of sorts and have a vague headache as well as a 'torqued' right side of my body from yesterday's fall, mostly my shoulder and right upper back because when I flew forward I fell with my right arm over my head and my right side down on the rocky trail. My right hand, other than the usual issues, is amazingly pain free from what felt like a deep bruise or break yesterday from the fall.

I'm assuming that even if it's the right remedy the cure will still be one step forward, two steps back... it that true?

I do still feel a shift in general, mostly emotional and it does not feel good. I feel I've lost a sense of control even though there are no outward signs other than the few binges that have really upset me. The pressure and discomfort under my right ribs, the intense itching, my right shoulder area feeling 'all out of whack', the dupuytren's in my hands, and especially the few binges and excessive hunger are all feeling like I'm being attacked, rather than the 'just be an unattached observer' which usually helps deal with my ongoing sagas. I feel sort of confused and agitated I guess.

Feeling itchy and fat is awful. It has always been awful. I hate clothing that's confining at all and can't stand anything at all around my neck. I have never worn any make-up at all, not even to my son's wedding last summer, and the only jewelry I've ever liked wearing are small, simple hoop earrings in my once-pierced ears which I've not been able to wear at all for more than a decade due to immediate infections from even hypoallergenic earrings. I have never had a sense of what I really look like and have avoided mirrors my whole life. If I walk by a big window and see my reflection I don't even recognize myself. I only know myself inside... maybe too well at times.

A few phrases or words which have been themes in my life are:
-quicksand
-overwhelming ambiguity
-creative hermitdom
...I just forgot the others I was going to list. This itching is driving me crazy!
[message edited by tahbi on Fri, 18 Nov 2011 15:22:04 GMT]
[message edited by tahbi on Fri, 18 Nov 2011 15:25:02 GMT]
 
tahbi last decade
Hi David,

My past is still bubbling up. Odds and ends of physical and especially emotional feelings are coming back to haunt me just enough to knock me off balance and the retreating. The latest that just happened was palpitations that made me cough. It is still happening. The remedy certainly healed my hand injury though.

I don't understand how and why the eating/fat issue is feeling so overwhelming. It's not just the cravings that I've managed to control today only because I've practically chained myself to the house. Even though the binges since the second dose seem highly upsetting to me, I have not eaten enough to cause the change in the look and feel of my belly in just a few days. My diet has been the same other than the few binges I've written about yet my stomach and the scale actually shows I've gained a few pounds, way more than what one stack of pancakes and one large candy bar could cause. I have been slim most of my life, other than on and off in the last decade or so. And before this dose my weight seemed stable at 130 pounds. I don't understand how the remedy could be playing this bad joke on me. Today again things are not tasting right to me. I've felt mostly starved but then the food does not sit right in my stomach or taste right. I look in the mirror and I seem like I've gained 15 pounds since that second dose. Other than the few binges mentioned, I'm still eating the same amounts and foods I was before the dose. It's really confusing me and I don't like feeling so hungry.

I do not have a sense of well-being with this dose. Quite the opposite. But non of the symptoms, mental or physical, are new.

Now the reflux and coughing are acting up. I'm afraid to say the itching is better. My stomach is huge with the liver pressure. Right side of neck is sore along with right shoulder. More tinnitus than I've been aware of for months.
Brain fog!

Thanks...
 
tahbi last decade
Hi David, More seems to be happening. My appetite and cravings have finally calmed down tonight and hopefully will stay that way. And one very surprising thing has shown up. I think I had mentioned in my posts that I was born with a right sided inguinal hernia, and then when I had that hellish experience with Anacardium an inguinal hernia popped out on my left side even though I had never noticed it before. It lasted two years and then seemed to disappear. Well, I just felt something different down there while watching a movie and I can feel that left-sided hernia again. I had not thought about that for a long time.

One symptom that I don't specifically remember from my past is a very tender spot that feels like a swollen node on each side of my sternum between or in my breast tissue. I have had fibrocystic breast issues before but the lumps were not where I'm noticing tonight. These are equal distance away from my center vertical chest line, about one and one half inches from center. They are very sore and feel like lymph nodes.
 
tahbi last decade
Well at least we know that the remedy is doing something. Seems like far too many things to be just being alert and observant.
 
brisbanehomoeopath last decade
The hernia is very strange. I thought so with Anacardium. I thought then that I probably proved the anacardium because it was so awful a reaction. I had proved Gels and Nat Mur also in the past. It is very spooky to have that hernia actually bulge out again now though. It was not there for a long time. Back when it first appeared with the Anacardium I figured that I must have had the weakness on the left side all along and that the remedy was the catalyst for the weakness to become more. Why would it be popping out now? It's like my whole history is rearing up all at once rather than following Herring's Law. Should I be concerned? Does this sound normal to you? .... of course my body has never followed the rules...

I can understand the lymph stuff if that is what it is but the hernia popping out today is just too weird!
 
tahbi last decade
.....and I have not been very alert and observant today. I'd been laying on the couch when I felt discomfort on my chest and felt the swollen nodes, and then I got up a while later and felt discomfort in my left groin. I felt it, not thinking what it could be because I was half asleep. It was only then that I felt the separation and hernia bulging.
 
tahbi last decade
Hi David.

I feel lousy today. If I was not in the midst of homeopathy treatment I would think I was fighting off the flue. I woke up with my right arm area very sore and assumed it was from the fall the other day. Then this afternoon my left arm muscles became very sore as well as coughing starting up, with sharp pain in my right pectoral muscle or right lung. It's been very painful to take a deep enough breath to get air or cough effectively. I'm feeling very wiped out.
 
tahbi last decade
Hi David, I'm feeling very achey and sick. From head to toe and most inbetween. I feel like I do when I have a high fever but I'm sure I don't have one.

If you think all that I've posted since the second dose points to cypraea as being 'the one' I will try to hang in there. If you don't though, can I antidote or take a more diluted dose to take the edge off? If this does not get any worse than it is now than I can try to hang on but I hurt everywhere, including a bad headache, am very hot and sweaty even though it's cold and I feel i must be covered, I've been very itchy, lots of coughing and tight chest made worse by pain on inhale. Yes, it's still all old stuff but there is lots of it all at once. I think I need a bit of reassurance about now.

Thanks.....
[message edited by tahbi on Sun, 20 Nov 2011 01:21:59 GMT]
 
tahbi last decade
Hi David,

The saga continues. I feel lousy still. Very achy and depressed... no hope, overwhelmed with everything. Cough is calm at this moment. There was a short period of time yesterday when lthough the pain was building all over my body, my right shoulder felt a bit more free and closer to correct position, which it has not been in many years.... that did not last very long but was noticeable. I am still very itchy, especially that same spot by the back/inner side of my knee. And my glands feel swollen with overall flue-like feelings. My mood is very low. It still is very painful on inhale at a spot on my right chest. Now it feels more like it is connective tissue or muscle rather than the actual lung.

I woke up in a very realistic, upsetting dream that I can't remember very well. It is rare to even be aware of dreams at all anymore. This one took place decades ago, when my kids were young. We went away to stay at a motel by the ocean. For some reason my favorite furniture was there. I was really loving being
there and decided to stay, to live there with my kids. Then strange things began happening with my own few pieces of special furniture there. First my kids told me the swing set/gym set had been removed from it's place outside. Then I would return inside and my favorite chest of drawers had been replaced by a very cheap, ugly and tiny cabinet. I think the same thing happened with more furniture but I can't remember clearly. Then I went to the motel management and reported what had happened. The man told me I was too messy looking and not high enough quality a person to have those nice things and to be there.

So much for floating to the homeopathic cure on a painless, calm magic carpet....
 
tahbi last decade
The healing process can actually be quite uncomfortable, if not actually painful. I cannot imagine the lengths to which you body might need to go to repair what is wrong in your body.

Can you give me a list of symptoms, write Better, Worse, Same or Gone next to them. If better or worse please write a score or percentage as to how much.

I need to keep a close eye on direction now, to make sure you are going the right way, and that you are not suffering unnecessarily.
 
brisbanehomoeopath last decade
Hi David, I feel awful in every way. Nothing physical or emotional feels better. I'm not clear enough in my mind to list symptoms and percentages. I will mention the worst symptoms though.

Yesterday I felt as though I had a high fever all day with cough, aches and pains. I got very few hours of sleep and just woke to an extremely deep, dark, most awful hopelessness, despair, depression... I am having a tough time breathing and coughing because my right upper chest is very sore on inhalation. It feels sore like a bruise when I touch it so it's not my lung
that is causing the pain, it must be
the tissue/muscle around it. I'm still coughing lots so it's quite painful.

I don't want to see or be seen by anyone who knows me. It is the beginning of american holiday time and that has always been the worst time of the year for me. I
absolutely hate holidays and can't even pretend. Everything I'm feeling is old stuff. I am extremely depressed.
[message edited by tahbi on Mon, 21 Nov 2011 14:51:32 GMT]
 
tahbi last decade
I should add that I feel I'm just too tired to work at living life anymore. I've worked so hard throughout my life to fix myself. All it's done has been to be fearful of the rare, lighter, healthier times because I always crash and the same crap hits even worse. I want to be done with it all. Im too chicken to kill myself.
I should add that today I can't even feel connection, joy or will to live because of my animals. That really scares me. It reminds me of anacardium and I can't go there.
I hate everything right now.. especially me.
[message edited by tahbi on Mon, 21 Nov 2011 15:30:36 GMT]
 
tahbi last decade
I need to do a proper assessment. General impressions by the patient are not enough to go on, especially through a forum like this.

I need a list of symptoms with the changes listed next to them. Otherwise I cannot properly decide what is happening. In clinic I would have the patient sit in front of me and I would read through their first consultation, marking any changes to the things they originally complained about.

It is 7 days after the last dose, and you appear to be getting worse. This is not encouraging, so I need to start considering a new direction to go.

Since I made the Cypr-e prescription you have added a large amount of new information, much of it physical. I will need to combine that into a new analysis to see what presents itself.
 
brisbanehomoeopath last decade
Hi David, It was really rough going but my body finally feels a bit better. I'm confused about symptoms because even without remedies they are changing often in a mixed and matched fashion. There are way more chronic symptoms in my history than I've mentioned because I tend to block the memories when they are not happening. Yes, I got much worse over the weekend. It was truly awful. The emotional piece was very typical, especially for the week of the American Thanksgiving holiday. It brings up way too much evety single year. Every holiday
does and has since I was a young
child. December is especially tough.

Physically everything I experienced was old stuff except the intense right chest pain on inhale. Maybe it was the remedy dealing with my extensive sternum/yclavical/shoulder issues, or the history of pneumonia/bronchitis/asthma, or even the fall I took last week. My hand injury from tythat fall healed miraculously that very day. Along with the sharp pain in my right chest on inhaling, the best way to explain what I was experiencing was cough and very achy like a high fever with swollen glands everywhere. I have had fevers over 106 degrees at least three times. I can also feel the same way when there is a major mast cell release fighting off a virus or bacteria, or even black fly bites. My immune system makes me feel awful from over defence and it rarely develops into the original bug.

The intense, deep itching in my lower left thigh by my knee was awful for several days. Right now I thankfully don't feel it. Although I don't remember experiencing that exact sensation in the same spot, I have a very long history of itching and urticaria pigmantosa that mostly disappeared as the mast cell disease became systemic form which is much deeper pathology.

My cough is better right now, as is the pain in my right chest. I feel it still but I can finally take a deep breath, something I could not do all weekend. My liver area pressure became intense again today but feels a bit better now. That fluctuates all the time though.

I finally read more about cypraea and there were striking similarities compared to nautilus.

What is so hard to understand is the direction of cure.... but my history is so very complex I don't know how it could be an obvious pattern.

Thanks for your help and patience.

Oh ... my intense cravings and appitite change ended as the body pain and flue-like symptomes began. The whole week has been very difficult emotionally with this weekend barely able to hold on.
[message edited by tahbi on Tue, 22 Nov 2011 00:41:33 GMT]
 
tahbi last decade
Well 7 days is what I normally expect for an aggravation where there is physical pathology. We may just have had a rough time at the end of it (by we I mean you, but me worrying about you lol).

I am still going to go ahead and look at all the new information, so that I am ready for anything we need to do. However, I would like you to start preparing that list - might take you awhile so just list everything first (for yourself not on here) and say in a week we can start going through them to see what has changed.

It is tough for you, but I have to say you are definitely showing commitment and I have to respect that.
 
brisbanehomoeopath last decade
Thanks, David. About the commitment.... I was very close to giving up this morning especially. It was awful. But the reality is that there is no chance for an easier life with any other modality. Right now I'm feeling very hopeless, but I'm trying very hard to keep one tiny piece of my more rational self outside of the drama and keep reminding myself that it feels really awful and hopeless, and way too familiar and endless, but just maybe it's the remedy working.

By a list of symptoms, do you mean what I have noticed since I took the remedy and began posting, or my whole history? I'm not strong enough now to even think of my history, even if I could remember. And I am having some cognitive issues also.

Just for the record I feel very scared. But I've been thinking about that dream I had the other day and it was absolutely right on in so many of my wounded ways.
 
tahbi last decade

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