Apprehension and a lost life.... _{Page 2 of 3}

An update:Edited 3rd last post.
I am continuing Nux as stated and not using Mag phos at the moment.
[Edited by lowspirit on 2018-10-06 21:32:02]

Hi
I took Nux for 4 days as stated.

Effect:
Sleep Pattern:No change. Only sleeping and getting up a bit more late. And feeling lethargic during day time.

Mental:No change. Same as before.

(Didn't took Mag Phos as you said as per new symptoms medicine would change and you will repertorize once again)

Just a question:

I have Kali phos 30(liquid,Was using before; only during night before sleep) or should I use Kali Phos 6x(tablets) as told by you.

Thanks
[Edited by lowspirit on 2018-10-09 19:03:50]

And do I have to stop Nux.

Thanks for the reply.

So I will Stop Nux and for Kali Phos I will buy K.P. 6X tommorow.
(Hope I didn't got you confused about K.P. 30CH...I used it about a month back for less then a week during night and Not during the present moment(when I was having Nux))

Will be back after 4 days.
Take care
[Edited by lowspirit on 2018-10-09 19:09:43]

Hi
Took Kali Phos 6X for four days.

Effect:

Physical:Fatigue during the day has decreased. I started sleeping early around 12:30-01:00(previously it was 3,4 or 5 am); though it takes long time to get me to sleep but less time as compared previously. Wake up around 10:30pm;trying hard to get the sleeping pattern right. For the first time I didn't do night sadhana during navaratri. Don't know why. May be the reason:till I not change myself no amount of sadhana will be fruitful.

Mental: Apprehension and fear still persist. To complete or start a particular work thats pending the question still persist 'what if','how','will I' etc as told before. But I think the irritability factor have bit reduced.

Thanks

Ok I will be back after 7 days.
I will also try to give space for the change to take place and disassociate from the thought's thats not me(trying for long to be the spectator not a spectacle)
KP 6X: 3 times a day.

Thanks

Hi
I took KP 6X for 7 days.

Result:
Physical: A bit active on physical front doing activities in Home.Fatigue is much less but sometimes now and then feel fatigue but not that much as before.

Mental:Anger is less then before. Mental worry is there but I think before it lead to anger but now it is less. The apprehension factor is still there. I couldn't call the mechanic to fix the fridge, my mother instead called him.He also fixed the geyser(he don't fix geysers but tried) that was leaking but it again started leaking.I know the shop from where we bought it. they have fixed it before but till now I havent called them.Its a small example of the multitude that I have to do and keep postponing it until the last day and then I hurry. Don't know whats stopping me from this simple thing. Forget about a bit big thing. I just postpone it next day thinking next day I will be someone else. But that day never comes. Days becomes month and month becomes year. I have to close the account of my father(he died previous year)....year have passed and I am still sitting.

Thanks

Also suffering from cold and sneezes these four five days.Thought of taking a homoeo medicine but didn't take it; didn't wanted to affect the effect of KP.
KP did helped no doubt about that but I think it couldn't change the deep seated groves that I had engraved on my senses.

Ok

Kali Phos 6X
Silicea 12X

3 times a day.

Will be back after a week.

Thanks

Hi
Took the medicines.
Not much change. I again started sleeping at 2,3 AM and getting up late around 12. Apart from that 3,4 days where I was active and doing things...the rest of these days are same. Don't know if that was once a year phenomenon where I get active for some days. Don't know what to do. These recurring question What to do, How to do. what will happen etc keep occuring and blocks my path.Don't know how to describe it.
Thanks

Sneezing stopped from second day after taking silicea.

I want to add whenever there is fear where I have to go for some work or think about the work on how will i do,should I go or not etc my heart paplpitates and there is a kind of faint or sinking feeling in heart. Not always but most of the times.

Hi Simone

Thanks for your insight. I agree the loop has to be stopped. This what if thought if given importance at its first manifestation will give rise to another similar thought and in turn it forms a chain of similar thoughts until we stop it or give a counter thought at the initial manifestation.
Yes I got to recognize those triggers that gives it life. I just hope it goes away but as you said it needs concrete action rather than just hope.I try, I fail and then I leave it and this need to be stopped.
And the last thing about body control. I have been on bed(like a patient) with close to nil exercise this decade and live more on a mental plane. Yeah I got to be more active also on the physical level. Unless there is a balance between the two things go haywire.Body affects the mind and mind affects the body and these in turn affects our world around.I will try your suggestions.

Thanks

Hi Simone and Anuj

Sorry for the delayed reply. These few days my brother, sister and their childrens were at home. So couldn't get time, though I read the post earlier.

Simone you aptly put the inner working of mind. Yes their are voices, sometimes polar opposites and sometimes too intermingled that it is difficult to discern which is what as sometimes a negative thought comes with a coating of sugar. That higher voice though right in every aspect is sometimes too difficult to follow as it wants you to break you off the old chains. Those chains which have now become a habit. These chains now becomes more subtle like emotions and feeling & find their way in every thoughts. Its our job to draw a Concrete line between the two so as to see what is what. What drives us and what pulls us down.
After reading your post I think I never drew that concrete line.I have tried before to counter my thoughts with their polar powerful opposites. But most of the times I stopped after few days and gave up thinking its no good. But sometimes as you said we have to find those 'drivers', those thoughts that are the 'root cause'. They may be few or too many. There may be many negative thoughts but there will be an uncanny similarity and we have to combat that 'similarity'.
For your last point about physical health....though presently apart from headache and fatigue(less then before) no issue so far. But a health checkup I think I should consider. Thanks for your suggestion. I hope I continue with your viewpoint. I have tried the same many times before but listening the same via someone else with to the point clarification gives an altogether new dimension to it.

Anuj I stopped Silicea and taking KP as said before. I took Aconite 1M yesterday(9th nov). Will give feedback after 4 days.

Thanks to both for your time.

Simone its right what you say but sometimes its really hard to use in day to day life. Its not that this thinking wants some outside resources. We have only to play with our thoughts. But the circumstances push us to think that way if we want or not. It requires ample will power and consistency to undo the decades of doing on ourselves by our own thoughts, perception and viewpoint.

I rarely used medicine on myself unless there's some alarming situation or situations which might turn worse if not attended on time. For my mind I relied only on refining my thoughts whether by dissociating from it as these thoughts are not my real self be it positive or negative; or by infusing a series of positive thoughts to reinforce my natural vibes. But not seeing it working I tried self treatment with homeopathy but that too didn't helped(not an expert in homoeopathy but used it on others with success.)

I don't know how to put this but Sometimes I think if I don't think of all these problems that 'might' crop up and think 'only' positive things then I might 'miss' the nature of problem and fail and be a laughing stock. For example I have to go tomorrow to office for the family pension(as father died and once a year in november we have to submit life certificate of mother). I was worried how will I submit it. There might be some problems as in one certificate her Date of Birth is something and in the office record it is something else. What will happen? There might be a whole new procedure to change it. How will I manage and will I be able to do it!....These few days I tried not thinking about it. I thought if there is a problem then it will be fixed, there are procedures for everything. It happens and we will see if there is the problem then and there. But then again I thought I can't ignore the problem. What will positive thought do. It won't drive away the problem. Though these positive thoughts will calm me and make me face the situation as a 'normal' everydaylife situation but then whats the use, problem will still be there.
Thats why I leave refining my thought process everytime though I know it will change a great deal of my perception of things and circumstances. It just confuses me...should I think this or that or what. I keep worrying about my brother who is suffering from paralysis and heart problem that hope tomorrow everything is good. He and my family is Healthy and safe. Though my worry won't change the reality but I keep thinking what should I do to have him healed. I understand human psyche very much but to use it on myself is an altogether different thing. May be I am superconfused. Problem is I want to change my thoughts & in turn myself as we are only a bunch of thoughts(if seen from one viewpoint) but at the same time I don't want it to change as whats the point in changing it. Its a dilemma. I don't want the garbage but at the same time I want to live in it. Don't know what to do about this phenomenon.

And as far as going to office is concerned I ain't going tomorrow. I postponed it one day ahead like always postponing things. I am laughing at this point at my stupidity! Its like a comedy circus going on in my mind.