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Apprehension and a lost life.... Page 3 of 3

This is just a forum. Assume posts are not from medical professionals.
You are suffering from a combination of o c d
And anticipatory anxiety. A constant theme running
Thru that is what If and fear of what others will think
Of any behavior(that you will look foolish)

Fear of embarassment is a common root cause
Of o c d. All those suffering had one or more
Traumatic incidents of feeling shamed when they had
NO power over the original incidents. One buries
The incident / incidents into the sub conscious.
But your brain then goes All out to make sure
To avoid anything that could have a similar outcome.

Therapy helps you learn the subtleties. It also
Will try to get to root causes and Feel the original
Emotions and get them released!

You are using your mind in what if scenarios to
Try to solve things. The mind/ analyzer is the wrong Tool for this.

Ever tried gelsemium - argentum nitricum or ignatia??

Also check out Eckhart Tolle- you tube- videos
On the “pain body” especially-
[Edited by simone717 on 2018-11-12 00:04:47]
simone717 last year
You are right in your analysis. I have tried gelsemium and arg. nitr. long time back but not ignatia as it didn't resonated me I think. But again only for a few days. Don't remember what was the effect. I think I am always in a hurry of the outcome and if not seen in few days I think its not working. So that might have been the case. This is the first time I am listening to somebody and asked for assistance for my problems & doing whats being told. Normally I don't share my problems be it physical or mental. When the problem is solved then only I reveal to the family.

I checked the videos. I understood what he wanted to convey as I am into spirituality for more then sixteen years. I think there are only two kinds of people. One who act and others who Only imagine. Someone may have loads of knowledge but when its put to no use & the person concerned keeps fantasizing then its as good as having no knowledge at all. And I fall in the imagination group. I think its time to act.(I say the same thing every fortnight!!!)

Tolle's video was informative but the analogy of build up negative emotions akin to pain body was kind of 'dispiriting'. It was like someone is fighting with depression,hate etc and now theres another foreign element sitting somewhere in the corner of your body nicknamed the pain body; though he didn't wanted to say that. Everything is made up of conscious energy. One thing is consciousness and other is conscious energy; just like the sun and its heat/light energy. Both are one and the same. One can't live without the other. These thoughts are just the flare ups of this consciousness in form of conscious energy. One school of thought walk on the path of 'not this not that'. You are not your thoughts, you are not this world. You are pure consciousness, free of pain and pure bliss. Others encourages you to accept all as your own forms. These thoughts be it negative is nothing other then you as nothing is different from consciouness. Some puts a stop at the very start of thoughts either by being a mere spectator or willful stoppage while others considers it as an emanation of energy non different from you. In both ways thoughts subsides to the place where they originated from i.e. takes the form of consciousness itself. Both do the same work but different people different personalities, different ways. Same way there are other ways. All are used to achieve that thoughtless state where only consciousness shine and its energy in the form of bliss. And as he said about 'the presence' where you move away from past conditioning and future imaginations by being a mere witness of the rise of pain body/these thoughts, because when you are a witness at that time you are close to consciousness and there past and future comes at a standstill. But I don't know why he only talked about negative emotions only. What about others that include positive ones. Here he talked about karma and kind of ending its vicious loop. But it can't be ended by ending only negative thoughts and you become happy. Because positive thoughts also creates a ripple for future actions and then loop can't be broken. You might become happy but that would be a temporary state and you are back to square one. For this you have to be the witness of Every thought process not only negative ones. And then the action whatever it may be will be in a non attatched way and will not act like 'seeds' for future karma. And instead of happiness it will be bliss.
But the video was informative. Thanks for the suggestion. Like homoeopathy works on subtle realms your posts will also help in dealing with issues with mind.
lowspirit last year
Hi- I just thought his talks about the “pain body”
Seem to be part of the emotional body. And It also seems to me that you
Do not get into emotions - of course emotions are messy and one feels out of control - and you want to shift into extreme
Mental calculations - which distract you.

Incidents that happen when you are young,
And also before around 8 years old - are all
Processed thru the amygdala- emotional brain.
Front brain is not online till 7 or 8. So things that
May have happened, will show up now as very,
Very , strange feelings that will not make sense
To your present circumstances or even your memory
If things were traumatizing before 8.

That is one reason people will avoid any therapy,
Or body work that will process this stuff.We also store
A lot in the muscles and organs and during massage
People have odd memories and emotions come up,
Release and they usually are going unconscious
And falling asleep on the table.

There are other ways of knowledge that are just as important as your mind. Who really cares if you look foolish or
Not perfect? No one on this earth is perfect.
You have a hot button in that area.

I would suggest that you be brave enough to
Get some bodywork, get a counselor,
And do a new thread and see if dr jitesh can send you his intake
Form and follow his advice.
simone717 last year
I just elaborated on the video because sometimes I suffer from "I know everything" problem!!! I am emotional but I don't show it. I just keep it to myself.

You are right about the profound effect that the incidents have on the brain and in turn the whole life when you are young and before the age of 5 or 8. Its like the main plot of our life. My younger years were the best. Except one two incidents where I feared to go to school. I wrote here in one post where students acted like my bodyguard lest I would run away to my home.Thats why my father decided to give a year off and I stayed at home. I think this still haunts me in one way or the other and thats why I am still at home and no job(never tried for it). I don't like to go to a therapist. Don't know if its the reason you gave or I think they are more depressed then a common man!

I went to the office today to get that pension thing done. Though my heart was racing and that what if was going on. But I just diverted my attention and countered it everytime. I think I should at least work for 20,21 days at a stretch to work out my thoughts....a thing which I start for a day or two and end it abruptly thinking it won't work. And also work out my physical body to release those emotional knots.

Well that sentence was perfect....'Who really cares if you look foolish or Not perfect'. I will try to be brave and be more wilful.Don't know about the counselor if I will ever go. But try be more of what is really me and undo what I have become.
About the new thread thing. I would like to stick to Anuj because he has devoted much of his time. And I think he will be the last. As at the end of the day its me only who have to work things out. Medicine can only act as a catalyst towards what we want to achieve. Though thanks for the recommendation and guidance.
lowspirit last year

Well, I think you should go Into detail about why
You were fearful of school. It could be separation
Anxiety, it could be you did not feel safe or random
Shaming or behavior of teachers? There are different remedies
For those things.

Have Anuj go over that area, because it seems like the core.
There was a lady on here, who had o c d etc coming from a teacher
Who was nice for two days a week and would
Be mean the rest of the week. At 7 years old
She could not even understand this enough to discuss with her parents.
She was a very intelligent woman and struggled
As an adult, when anything was not under her total control. Besides
The ocd thoughts , she “had” to wear a red dress on the days it was extra bad to ward off the anxiety( because her mind linked up that the red dress on some school days were more good days than bad days.)
She did not connect the dots at all when she first posted -
She left the forum for therapy without treatment on here, as unfortunately there were a couple prescribers fighting
With each other over her case and then the one she went with “forgot” about her - never prescribed.

I taught school and also became a counselor.
It helps to take action. Even when the “what if” stuff isgoing strong,
One can start to break things down where resistance is less-
If one feels they cannot handle going to a place,
I would have them just walk around the place
And go home- then go in there and go home, etc
This starts desensitizing and releasing trauma to at least where a person has built up areas of freedom and confidence
In a daily routine. It really helps to have support and someone who has understands this malady and who has results!!
In this area. That is what you look for in a counselor-
It is a very specific area, not just any counselor.

Best wishes and prayers that you feel confident and well.
[Edited by simone717 on 2018-11-13 16:46:55]
simone717 last year
Yeah I think I should revisit my younger years and look into it minutely as to what happened and try to fix it. May be it was only homesickness or as you said separation anxiety.

Every event in life is interconnected mysteriously. What is affecting what and at what time its more pronounced is to be investigated.
Well it happens when more then one prescriber is seeing a case. Everyone thinks I know more. But its the patient who suffers.

The idea to break down things into simpler steps and to move on until you win over that resistance is good. I agree with the point of seeing a counselor because he is an expert in dealing with these phenomenons. But again I don't know if I will go for it. May be at a later time if I fail in my actions which I think I have at least started.

Thanks for your wishes and prayers.
lowspirit last year
Hi Anuj

As per you I kept taking KP and Aconite ones few days back.
Physically its Ok. Except back pain for a day or two.
Mentally as I said worry factor is bit less. I don't know if aconite helped here because you might have read about the office incident I posted. Though I am trying to direct my thoughts into something constructive.

lowspirit last year
Its been more then one month I have been on this forum for a 'problem' that I have been fighting for more then a decade on a mental front. Tried to fight it out many times but failed everytime. It was like fighting my image in the mirror. Me fighting myself. Its the same with evrybody but different people different forms.

Though the advice given here helped a bit (as it will/may take time to straighten out the innumerable creases that I had made on my mind these many years) and I thank Anuj for taking out his time to understand my symptoms and find out the best remedies possible. I also thank Simone who acted like a counselor and helped me probe deep into the intricacies of this unfathomable mind. Thanks to both. Knowledge is an unending process be it of homoeopathy or of mind & the person forever remains a student until he becomes 'knowledge' himself.

I think its time "again" to walk solo and sort things out. As I said I have been fighting all these years but instead I should be kind of embracing it and understanding it and 'knowing' it the way it is. Because unless you know something neither you can embrace it nor renounce it.

May be I will be back after a month and share the result of "Experiment on myself by myself". Since its a forum on Homoeopathy and its a subtle science working on subtle levels. So may be my view(if it holds any weight) might succour homoepathically(might use some as I know some) and psychologically.

Take care.
lowspirit last year
Dear lowspirit,

I have enjoyed communicating with you on here.
You are a very aware human - this condition is similar to war- don’t get hung up on the daily battles, and use all the tools
Available - even small doses of Valium
If you feel you won’t become dependent. One problem
With having such a good brain/ analyzer is overuse
Of it-Good luck with what comes next.
simone717 last year
Simone it was same delight here.

And yes its easy to go to the moon but very difficult to win over mind. I will use all the tools at my disposal that I have understood all these years.

I have used Valium some years back.And that too 3,4 tabs at a same time....just to be in an altered state of consciousness. Bad decision.But stopped it when the pharmacist said he will not give more, 'you are gonna kill yourself!'(Well you can't get this medicine unless you have doctor's prescription). His remark made me think 'What the hell I am doing.'

Well lets see what happens next.

Thanks and take care.
lowspirit last year

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