Acne and Irrational Anxiety/Depression

Hi all,

Been visiting this forum for awhile and am impressed by the breadth and depth of discussion all around.

I'm 24/m, have suffered a great deal from anxiety and depression over the past few years. Felt generally happy until I left for college at age 18, where I felt deep social anxiety and had trouble making connections with people. Often withdrew to be alone with my thoughts, even when what I really wanted was to be with other people.

I developed a severe case of facial acne at age 19, which increased social anxiety. Acne was reduce through use of various oral and topical antibiotics, but has never completely gone away, even after years of various traditional and alternative therapies. I have not been on antibiotics for 2 years, due to concerns about their long-term effects on my health.

In college I was also very ambitious, felt consumed by artistic ideas, and that I was destined to be a great and important artist. Would feel very angry and defensive towards anyone who questioned my vision - signs of insecurity about it, no doubt. Felt all my friendships could be sacrificed in service of my artistic dream, if needs be, and many of them were. Now I feel some regret for my actions during that time.

These days, in addition to mild facial/back acne, I feel a constant sense of anxiety/depression/tension, heart palpitations at night (shaking the chest), great tiredness after 4pm, discouragement that my life will not improve and no remedy will ever be effective. Constant brooding about the nature of life, my purpose, irrational fear of death - especially at night. Still feel irrational social anxiety even around people I'm comfortable with.

Of course some of these psychological complaints could be due to emotional issues I still need to work on, but the depth and unending frequency of my anxious feelings makes me think there's a physical element to them as well.

Physically, I am tall (6'1'), rather thin (160 lbs), white but not particularly pale skin. Dandruff on scalp. Hate extremes of weather, especially cold; extremeties are constantly cold to the touch. Tongue is filmy white with dark red tip. 5 or 6 small warts on right hand. Digestion is senstitive to any change in my usual diet, which for the most part is good (lots of fruits and vegetables, low meat, sugar, fat). Regular bowel movements, in small dark lumps, sometimes tending towards diarrhea.

Dislike fatty or heavy foods. No real cravings for any foods, although I do like sweet things. Hunger/thirst in general are normal. Very good relationship with family. Due to social anxiety, have not had a sexual outlet for some years. Not on any meds now, although have experimented with various homeopathies (Nat. Mur., Sulph., Ars. Album.) over the past few months, with little tangible effect.



So that's where I'm at - any advice would be much appreciated.