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Ongoing Depression

Hi. I would greatly appreciate any feedback. Please help.
Here is some info about my symptoms, though I’m not sure if there is a broader list of questions that I could answer…please pass on if there is. I started having depressed feelings beginning in adolescence related to break-ups/longing for love/longing for friendships – Even though I had 5 wonderful girlfriends in my circle, I had a seemingly delusional view. I had friends, was in great social circles, but was still very quiet/reserved. I took Zoloft beginning age 16 or 17 for 2 years at most. I think it helped bring me out of the deep depression I felt, but don’t think it was necessary to take after that for so long. I received counseling for 6 months which helped tremendously.
-29 years old. Female. Fairly attractive.
-Slight nausea at times
-Always anticipating the future. Think the grass is always greener over the next hurdle. Can’t wait to start a family, b/c that’s what I’ve always wanted. Think having a family will fulfill all my dreams. Fiance won’t be ready to do so though for at least a year.
-These deeper feelings of apathy and dis-interest w/ life began a couple months ago.
-Little or no motivation to do much at all. Have bouts of tearful sadness, but lately mostly it’s just general apathy, find little to no pleasure in life, in things I used to feel at least some pleasure in. Have to force myself most times to leave the house, unless I’m w/ my fiancé. Fear my fiancé will leave me b/c of my depression. No friends here (moved here 1 yr ago). Only work with 2 other people. Find it impossible to make friends. Am nervous of taking a class or something where I might make friends. Insecure feelings.
-Function pretty well when life is full and busy. That’s not the case now. And I don’t have motivation to take classes, or do things by myself to make it more full. -I work in a food production kitchen and feel little to no satisfaction from work.
-Still have some feelings of hope for the future. It’s just that interest or any excitement for life seems to have completely disappeared.
-Can often find consolation in meditation.
-Social anxiety. When I’m actually with people though, I’m okay conversationally. But lately, most of the time, I have very little desire to talk to anyone. I’ve always been reserved, and often quiet around people in general. Though can be much louder/engaged while intoxicated. Issues w/ substance abuse.
-Anxiety anticipation before simple encounters, but when they happen, I’m usually just fine.
-Avoid social contacts. When talking though, I often just like talking to one person, b/c otherwise sometimes I feel like I’m on display. Cannot do public speaking.
-Previously had a rushed, get things done demeanor, but now (and it’s partly conscious), I’m more slow, and methodical b/c I don’t see the point in being rushed.
-Like to be alone most of time, except like having boyfriend around.
-Currently have little appetite. Had stomach flu 1 week ago and now getting over a cold. I’m usually not that sick. Usually like hot food during winter; cooler foods during summer. Like salty foods, usually like sour.
-Vegan whole foods organic (mostly) diet. Am planning to get some B12 Methyl. Haven’t had moons on fingers for as long as I can remember. Went vegetarian in 1998, but don’t remember moons on fingers before then either.
-Thirst is not an issue. I drink plenty of fluids.
Protruding stomach, after meals. It seems more exaggerated than previously, though maybe this is nothing.
5’ 4” Fluctuate btwn 100-110 lbs. Have always been slender.
-Several months ago, was having regular heart palpitations. Was using marijuana on regular basis. No longer have palpitations.
-Hair is more on the fine side, though healthy. Have had dandruff issues in the past, but not now. Stayed in Hawaii for some time years ago and hair and skin were phenomenal. My skin is on the dryer side, but easily managed w/ a good moisturizer.
-I now live in Portland, OR. The rainy winter likely exaggerates depression.
-Lethargic
-Menstrual cycle has changed over past 6 months. Used to be very regular – about every 28 days, w/ bleeding for 2 days; skip 3rd day; spot 4th and 5th day. Over past several months, feeling more cramps and sensations specifically before and after menses. Cramps are usually pretty severe the first day…s/t carries on til second day, though ibprofren provides relief. Fairly light flow, s/t heavier, but blood comes out in clots. I stopped wearing tampons, because most the blood comes out when I sit on the toilet. Some periods over past 4-6 months have only lasted the first 2 days.
-Anxiety related dreams sometimes
-Have had issues w/ libido on and off for past three years, though only began having intercourse in long term relationship four years ago. Currently have no libido. Currently take Maca powder daily. Maca helped me w/ libido several months ago, but not now.
-Use skullcap for anxiety. Works well for brief periods of time.
-Used valerian root – promoted restful sleep.
-Thinking of getting St. John’s Wort or Sepia.
-Sleep about 8 hrs, s/t 10 hrs/night.
-Front bottom gums bleed if I don’t brush lightly.
-Diagnosed w/ (mild) form of epilepsy at age 5. Took phenol-barbitol for a year or less. Simple fainting spells was all that happened. I continued having fainting episodes up until age 21 or so. In elementary school, I’d faint on random occasions. Fear may had brought them on…? though the reason wasn’t clear, at least to me, as a child. Mild dehydration would do it at other times, during my late teens and early adulthood. The episodes weren’t ever investigated, from what I know. I just dealt with them.
-Eyesight not perfect– glasses prescription is 5 yrs old.
Please let me know if I could answer more questions. I sincerely appreciate any and all help!
 
  certum1 on 2008-04-18
This is just a forum. Assume posts are not from medical professionals.
sepia 200c one dose daily for 7 days report j k mohla
 
akshaymohl last decade
Thank you for your response. I'll post w/ report in 7-8 days.
 
certum1 last decade
I could only find sepia 6c and 30c in the store, so I'm purchasing the 200c online today.
 
certum1 last decade
pl start with 30c twice daily for 7 days till you get 200
 
akshaymohl last decade

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