please someone experienced help me to get rid of this phobia, depression, anxiety and sexual weakness.Dear ABC,
Please suggest me to get rid of this 6-7 year old depression, anxiety.
I had been taking Marijuana in my university life and went through very tough family crisis.
Still, I always loved life and I was always seeking happiness and believed life is beautiful.
Now, I am doing job in a good company, and fortunately, My performance is appreciable. I enjoy my job only except the 'bossing' of my boss.
I am working on GRE test preparation, and seeking scholarship in USA, but am very disturbed with my mental issues.
Am very disturbed with my sexual problem as well. I had a countable number of good sex with partner and most of the time I felt ashamed.
Now, I have given up smoking cigar or marijuana or even tea. but still, am not getting control over my mood and thought.
May be, i can provide a detailed history or please, someone let me know if here are questions to be questioned.
Someone please help me out to be in life again.
roddur on 2008-11-07
I would represent my case in detail as follows, this one I have collected form another post, and modified it according to my case:-
1: Name/Nick: roddur
2. Age: 29
3. Sex : M
4. Marital status: separated
5. weight: 71 kG
6. Height : 5 ft 9 inch
8. climate: average. long summer(40 degree highest) and rainy season, short autumn, average winter (12 degree lowest). year round average temperature is 25 degree.
9. Family History: No record of depression in father and mother. One elder brother have had depression caused by frustration and family issues.he is cured now.One elder sister had hysteria for a short time. Family members are usually, active, soft hearted, helping, sympathetic, sensitive.
10. Qualification of patient: graduate engineer
11. Nature of working: sales job
12. Complexion: Biracial, bright, normal.
13. Constitution: Well built, was thin earlier( had a weight of 62 kg vs height of 5-9).light fat round belly. (waist 32). Now doing exercise, and almost perfect structure.
14.eating habit: Breakfast and launch: Asian bread(flattened); Dinner: cooked rice.
Once meat or fish, twice vegetable. Drink a lot of water all time.
Try to take one egg per day and some fruits.
15. Tea/Coffee: Previously i used to take a lot( 8-10 cups a day). now, i take a maximum of two cups a day or none.
16. Earlier History:
Since childhood, I was calm, shy, less demanding, less talking and less sharing, yet kind of naughty, loved to have friends, a child observing the world with eagerness and with a curious look in eyes. I was having good improvements in study to prove myself a brilliant student. I dont much memories of having great love from family.
Till school I was studious boy who dreamt of being free from every bindings and specially from economical.
In college, I turned out to be very outgoing, romantic, yet shy and nervous to talk to girls.
I kept more friends and started exploring myself in different ways.
In university life, appeared over confident, have had a lots of friends, started smoking and gradual degradation in academic result.
In second year, I started taking marijuana out of curiosity. That made me feel guilty, yet could not avoid friends.
Lost interest in study, and soon, I fall lagged by my classmates.
This along with undisciplined lifestyle and worse academic result pushed in depression.
Also, I went to brothel with a feeling of guiltiness.
I broke up with my year old relationship with my girlfriend. I felt betrayed and discovered her as hypocrite and got depressed and isolated round the year.
I visited doctor (allopathic).
I recovered, or should I say, tried to recover struggling all my fears, obsessions, lack of confidence and I passed out the university.
But, I dont felt recovered 100%.
I kept visiting brothel and got the feeling of shyness over and over.
Soon, I joined a job. Thoroughly, I was taking marijuana, in some irregular fashion.
I struggled a lot to overcome my depression and found huge improvement.
Without any consent of my family, I married my girl friend. Soon, family clash between hers and mine resulted into her filing a case in Police station and I was jailed.
This gave me a huge mental shock and I got same isolated, friendless, afraid of social criticism, unconfident, helpless, obsessed, depressed.
I soon got out of the trouble and divorced her. And still fighting to get complete rid of that, as I am still feeling depressed and sunk in clumsiness of thoughts.
17. List of complain:
a. phobia: fear makes me failed to look into peoples eye. I feel guilty and think people will learn the bad happenings of my life. I feel fear is so clearly pictured in my own eyes, and think the person in front is evaluating me as a mentally sick person. I think, this fear was present at the very beginning of the story 6 years back.
b. Absent mindedness: Most of the time, its hard to concentrate on things. people who is talking to me can easily understand that i am not attentive to what he is talking about. I failed to concentrate. It came from my long-nurtured habit of thinking something very deeply and try to relate things, specially when i had taken marijuana.
c. sensitivity: I am so sensitive. I am easily hurt by peoples refusal and words.
d. Sexual dissatisfaction: I am not satisfied with my sexual ability. I am very interested in having good sex and make love to women and also, I feel I have strong libido. But, when with partner, am worried about early erection and the partners dissatisfaction and fear worsens the situation leading to non-arousal. I feel strong urge to satisfy her but and feel very much ashamed. I hardly have some good sex, and feel very sad of my disability after having sex. Sometimes, I feel, each problem would be solved if I could have a good prolonged, partner-satisfying sex.
e. Feeling guilty: I am as worried about myself as I had history of making mistakes and sufferings like marrying without consent of family and consequent sufferings, taking marijuana and having sex with call girls. I feel, people around me will misjudge me of my character though I am a friendly, helpful, positive person. In fact, I feel people are awkward enough to misunderstand me and overlook my good qualities.
e. Self suppression: often I am not confident enough to express my opinion and speak out my feeling. Sometimes, am confused about what to do. I have faith in my own ability, but I am only waiting to be cured fully from this mental illness so that I can perform perfect!!
f. Anxiety and unsteadiness: Sometimes, rather than being gloomy, I feel overactive, anxious about things to do list or have tension in nerves about any outcome and I feel palpitation of heart and feel it beating fast. So many things marry go rounds in my head.
g. Good things of myself: I think I am meritorious, hard working, fun loving, simple, straight forward, convincing, struggling, decisive, quick (was?!), loneliness loving, of my own, self dependant, positive, beauty loving, free from jealousy, deep, sharing (yet not the pain?). I am very neat and tidy and try to keep things very well arranged. I am concern of my looks, sometimes more than necessary to have a reflection in mirror. I feel more confident when I dont see the clouds of depression in my eyes.
18. current medicine you are taking for each complaint: Took few ayurvedics (hamdard), but no good output in last one months.
19. non Diabetic
21. Thirst : Small quantity, short interval. Drink a lot.
22. Tongue color: bright reddish.
23. Current BP: 80-120 mmHg
24. What exactly is happening :
Most of the time, I am so afraid of looking into peoples eye thinking that they are observing my out of order mental state. Sometimes, my skill is reduced. But, while working on something, thinking of many other different things. Sometimes, hard to articulate my opinion and mumble and search words desperately inside myself.
25. How do you feel : worried and ashamed of the past and ashamed and worried of the sexual dissatisfaction of partner . lost in thoughts, lost of wills and lost with steadfastness.
26. How does this affect you ? Difficult to connect to others, specially worried of making relation with girls. Worried of marrying and am unsecured of future lifestyle and its worthiness.
27. How does it feel like ? devaluated in front of people.
28. What comes to your mind ? my failures, my mistakes, my to dos and my limitations.
29. One situation that had a big effect on you ? Failure to satisfy partners in sex, breaking up of relation with my gf, being jailed by wife.
30. How did that feel like ? That should not have happened, was I right in my decision? Those caused a great loss to me, its been a long I am suffering from depression/obsession, will I ever be recoverd?
31. desire or like and dislike of food: love food.
32. Name of foods which increase your problem: caffeine, sour (acidity), oily food.
33. Body odor ,/sweating/- sweat a lot in small work, body odor is usual male kind, dont feel myself too intense.
34. Daily activity: Morning exercise (light to light-heavy), breakfast, office, back to home, study, chat in net, watch tv, sleep. Nothing special recreational activity.
Like to read a more.
Have given up smoking last 2.5 months.
Talk a lot in phone.
Hope , above ones give a picture of my problem.
And hope, someone very kind would come forward to help me out and give my life back.
roddur last decade
I would like to point out few other things as:
a. physical discomforts:
1.Acute sinusitis and migraine.feel the forehead is solidified.
2.Pain in lung while coughing, or taking deep breath. Sometimes I felt like, I am having breathing problem or asthma.
3. Too much wind breaking, though I dont feel acidity in stomach and take Isp Gul dust in morning.
4. Sully round my neck. it is fainting with use of Neosten (Clotrimazole) but the white spot is not completely vanishing.
5. My right eye is very idle. When I focus on things, I feel like I am watching with my left eye only. The right eye is clearly having a weak muscle thats why when i look upward, the right eye appears to have problem lifting the eyeball upward. It gets very tired earlier and a mild pain is felt inside muscle back the eyeball.
b. History of illness: Acute repeated desentry in school to college life, Jaundice twice, gonorrhea twice, measles once.
Please, help me get back my life again.
Thanks a lot.
roddur last decade
1 there is point when u feel ur going to ejaculate at that point u must squeeze the lower part of the penis imagine penis like a pipe u find the deep lower part of the pipe fingers wrap around the pipe squeeze hard . u must do this just before ejaculation happen
2 at the same time ur other hand fingers squeezing the top part of the penis
3 u must continue breath in and breath out
4 u have to apply this technique very quickly just before ejaculation happen
when u do this the sperm can not come out when sperm dont come out for 3 months u will start to recover
5 u have to practice many time to get this technique right
When ur about ejaculate testicals will come very near to the lower part of the penis u must gently push them down with one of ur finger while squeezing
Cut ur fingers nails so they wont cut ur skin while squeezing
u can also practice this technique when ur not having erection imagine penis is like a pipe try find the very lower part of the pipe squeeze fingers around the lower part of the penis then squeeze the top of the penis with other hand fingers around top part of the penis breath in and out continually
u will recover but it can take some time be patient
when u start to recover plz let me know thanks
this maybe help too try to control when ur urinate when u urinate stop in the middile of urination count 5 then urinate gradetully stop then count 10 then urinate at first it difficult but u can control try this at home when u strat 2 have control urinate a little stop wait 1 minute then urinate it will work but it can take months.
vishnu5 8 years ago
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