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my health so bad I no longer have a life - please help if you can


I am a 22-year-old female, and I have been having health problems for over 3 years, I've had to leave college and can't have a job because of it, and I'm desparate to find answers. I've been trying to figure out my constitution, but I'm not sure about it so any help would be greatly appreciated. Here are my symptoms:

constipation - my stool is always soft but cannot be expelled because of constriction of the rectum (it's closed like a vice) and innactivity of the colon. I have to use my finger to open my rectum and dig the stool out. This is my main problem. It takes hours to have a bowel movement, and enemas have become necessary. I have not had a 'normal' bowel movement in years.

adrenal fatigue

lack of body heat - always cold, I have raynaud's so my hands and feet are constantly like ice, have to run hot water over feet before bed or can't sleep because they are so cold that they hurt, even though my body is cold my head is hot and I can't stand to have heat on my head.

migraines when the weather changes - it feels good to put cold water on my head and face

multiple food sensitivities - wheat, soy, lactose intolerance, fructose malabsorption, the list goes on and on...

very sensitive digestive system

often have intestinal gas but cannot expel it

hypochlorhydria - I weighed 105-110 pounds before all these problems started but now weigh 90. I was down below 80lbs (scary considering that I'm 5'4'), but gained some weight after discovering hypochlorhydria and starting to take HCl

crave salt (sometimes I eat it straight from the salt shaker because I crave it SO intensly) and fatty foods

I keep becoming more and more apathetic. I always had a great zeal for life, but my troubles have led to depression and apathy. Despite this, I have always been optimistic, and I still am. I believe I can get better, I'm just in a really difficult time and it has lasted over 3 years. I'm also apathetic toward my parents, siblings, family, and friends (actually I don't really have any friends any more - I can hardly ever go anywhere or do anything because I spend all morning in the bathroom because of the constipation, and I often have abdominal pain). I have also developed an aversion toward anything sexual, and have no desire to be around the opposite sex.

I feel very disconnected. i used to feel very connected to myself and confident in who I was, but now I don't even feel like me - I don't even feel like a human. It's like I'm stuck in a nightmare. I feel disconnected from the world, people, everything.

I'm not (and never have been) able to express feelings and emotions. People often do not realize how I feel toward them because I cannot express it

I do not like to be around people/prefer to be by myself

I hate cold weather and love hot weather - the hotter the better - and I hate wind

Long-lasting foot problems (stress fractures/tendonitis) that won't heal.

amenorrhea (for the past 5-6 years) before that I had very heavy periods with a lot of pain

I feel better after exercise.

All symptoms get worse with lack of sleep.

Fear of losing my mental abilities (I've always done EXTREMELY well is school and have taken great pride in it)


I keep things fairly organized but don't like to actually clean

little things drive me crazy like people picking at their fingers or the noises people make when they eat. Things that most people don't even notice are often impossible for me not to notice, and they drive me crazy (for instance, the hum of a refrigerator or a blinking light on a VCR)

I will voice my oppinion about things I really care about, but I often try to maintain peace, and I won't speak if I think it may cause a stir. I tend to listen and observe rather than speak and interact.

I'm introverted, but I've always loved to perform, and I become a completely different person when in front of an audience.

I know this is long, but I'm trying to think of everything that could help. When I was younger I was always very healthy, but I got bronchitis, tonsilitis, and pneumonia all at the same time when I was about 13-years-old, and I have never been the same since. I think everything was 'brewing' in my body, and the stress of college brought it all out, but now I can't figure out how to get my health back.

Thanks in advance for any help!
  brinyskysail on 2010-12-14
This is just a forum. Assume posts are not from medical professionals.
If you can expand on a few of your statements, I or someone else here might be able to help you.

For my style of case-taking, I need a lot of description of particular phrases, sensations, ideas. Be as verbose as you can. The more you give the easier it is to match you to a remedy. If I ask for more on a single word, define what you mean by it, then what it means to you, how you experience what it is that you are describing with that word. Try giving examples of situations or 'as if' scenarios (eg. pain feels it is as if you were lighting yourself on fire, the anxiety is as if a tiger was about to jump on me etc).

The goal of doing this is for me to be absolutely sure that I understand what you are trying to express through these words, so that there are no assumptions or mistakes on my part.

Could you please describe more on:-


Anything sexual

Aversion to being around the opposite sex


Don't feel human


Express feelings

Losing mental abilities


Driven crazy

Become a completely different person


For my initial consulations I take 2 hours with a client, and may take down 10-20 pages of information. This is not a large amount you have given :)

David Kempson
brisbanehomoeopath last decade
Thanks so much for responding! I'll try to elaborate

apathetic: It is as if I have no feeling anymore, feelings, no emotion. I've been through so much physical feeling (pain) that it's like the physical feeling drained me, and I have no feeling left. I don't find joy in the things that used to bring me joy. I don't feel for people either. At one time, a story about someone going through a difficult time would have moved me emotionally, especially after I started having health problems because I understood that they were having a difficult time, but now I just don't care. I feel like I should care, like it's inhuman not to, but I just feel nothing emotionally.

anything sexual: I guess I just meant sex in general. When I was younger I just assumed that one day I would get married, but now I have no desire to ever get married/be in a relationship/have sex, etc.

aversion to opposite sex: I don't actually have an aversion toward men, I just meant that I have to desire to date/be in a relationship

disconnected: I feel like I'm not actually me and that I'm not actually a part of the world - like I'm watching everything (even myself) from a distance. I once saw a movie with Greek gods playing a board game, but the game was the earth, and the playing pieces were people. That's the closest analogy I can come up with for what it feels like. Or maybe like Big Brother, watching everything that is happening, but not actually being physically there.

Don't feel human: Because of the constipation problem (and the fact that I have so many food sensitivities that I either have to take my own food with me everywhere I go or plan to be back home by meal times), I can't do much of anything any more. i had to leave college, I can't have a job, I can't travel, I can't go to restaraunts with friends or family, etc. I just get up in the morning and 'go through the motions' of my day. I guess I said I don't feel human because I feel more like a robot.

nightmare: Because of the feelings of watching everything from afar and being a robot, it just seems like nothing is real. Plus, before all my symptoms started, I was studying environmental science, doing very well in school, excited for the future; and now I can't believe that this is where I've ended up. No one ever expects something like this to happen to them, and it just doesn't seem real.

express feelings: I've never been able to tell people how I feel. I was in (I think) 4th grade before I ever said 'I love you'. I said it to my grandfather because he was in the hospital and I knew he wasn't going to live much longer, but even then it was difficult for me to say it - and I have no idea why. My mom is very loving and always trying to hug me, and I hate it. Again, I have no idea why. I spent a couple weeks with my aunt and her husband in Alaska, and it was the best time of my life. I had never really been around my uncle before since they live so far away, and he was a really cool person; I liked getting to know him and spend time with him, and I absolutely loved Alaska, but I later found out that my uncle thought I hadn't enjoyed myself because I hadn't expressed it at all even though it was the most amazing experience I had ever had in my life. Another example is that I had a boyfriend whom I really loved, but, because I can't express emotions well, he got upset with me because he thought I didn't love him. He was the first person I had ever really showed love toward, so to me I was very loving, but to him, I showed no love at all.

I also keep other things inside. I was having health problems for a couple years before most people found out because I would always act as if I was perfectly fine while around other people, no matter how bad I actually felt. I don't like to talk about it so I just act as if it doesn't exist, but even though I fooled other people, it doesn't help me to pretend it doesn't exist. Although, I do feel worse when I talk about it - worse emotionally. That may be where the apathy has come from; I don't want to feel physical or emotional pain so I've hardened/deadened myself.

losing mental abilities: I guess this is like a fear of getting something like Alzheimer's or being in an accident that affected my brain. Having adrenal fatigue has been very difficult for me because I have always been able to concentrate on things for long spans of time, learn things quickly, and think my way through confusing things, but with adrenal fatigue - although it has definitely gottem better over time - I can't concentrate, I have a very short attention span, and I just feel like I lost my ability to grasp concepts - like my IQ has dropped. I went from getting an A in biochemistry to not even being able to finish reading a children's book. It has improved from that point, but I'm still far from being where I was, and it's frustrating for me.

perfectionist: I guess I would be considered the 'type A' personality, but I'm not really the typical perfectionist who thinks they have to be the best, but I set high goals and standards for myself and I don't give up on them; I push myself to achieve them.

driven crazy: when one of those things (sounds, movements, etc) is present, it is all I can focus on. I can't concentrate on anything else. For example, if I'm doing something and someone else in the room is fidgeting I have to turn my body so that I can't see them or the fidgeting is the only thing I will see or be able to think about/concentrate on. Another example - if I hear someone making gross noises chewing food, it is all I will hear. If I'm eating too, I won't be able to relax and enjoy my food so I'll end up with indigestion.

become a completely different person:
After my health problems started, over time, I have changed a lot. Some of the things like the apathy and feelings of disconnection and inhumaness are completely new things that have developed, others like noticing and being bothered by little things, wanting to be alone, and not being able to express emotions/feelings have always been a part of me, but they were not present to the extent that they are now. I used to be very energetic and full of enthusiasm and joy for life, but I have none of those things now. I don't feel like me, and I just want to get my health back and be me again.

introvert: I'm outgoing around family, but I'm very reserved and shy around others. I think it is partially because I'm naturally 'goofy' and like to joke around (another quality that I have lost), but I'm afraid I'll say something that will offend someone who doesn't know me well and know my personality. I think that is only partially why I'm introverted though. I also just seem to get flustered when I'm around people I don't know well, and I don't know what to say or how to act. I just kind of go black. For example, if I was giving this information to you in person, I probably wouldn't have though of half of it, and I wouldn't be able to come up with the correct words to express it. I would probably be the contestant in the Miss America pageant who gives a really stupid interview question because I just couldn't come up with what I wanted to say :)

I hope this helps

Thanks again for responding :)
brinyskysail last decade
Very good work - just the way I like someone to respond to questions :)

One of the things that my teachers have impressed on me, is that as practitioners we are pretty stupid, we actually know nothing about our patients.This is why they need to explain, every little thing to us. Then of course, once we understand it, we aren't stupid anymore and we can use the knowledge and experience we have to help them.

Ok this brings up a couple of more questions if you don't mind. You may end up repeating yourself, but that is ok.

Describe more about:

Just give me a little more on feeling nothing. Is this just emotional?

Describe what it would be like to be married.

Describe 'not actually me

Describe 'not physically being there'

Describe the experience of being a robot.

Describe the sensation of things not being real.

Describe to me what it is like for you when you see other people expressing their emotions, their feelings, their thoughts, their connection to others, their love.

Describe the concept of Hard.

Describe the concept of Deadened.

Describe being inhuman.

Describe the the feeling when you cannot come up with the right words.
brisbanehomoeopath last decade
Feeling nothing: Before leaving school I was an environmental science major, and I get very angry about environmental injustice. I was also working toward a minor in ethics, and I get upset about things like human rights violations and social irresponsibility so I’m not COMPLETELY apathetic/unfeeling; I think it’s directed mainly toward love, sympathy, and happiness. Happiness: I don’t find joy in the things I used to. Love: I’m close to my grandma, and love her, and if she died, I would feel it, but it’s like she’s the only one I feel that way toward. I would also be sad if my sister died, but I don’t even feel like I love my parents or would miss them if they died, and that seems very wrong to me. That’s where the “hard” and “deadened” feelings come in – like a “heart of stone” kind of thing. This also ties to “not feeling like me” because I wasn’t always this way. I would compare it to being possessed or being a zombie - it’s someone else’s my mind or heart in my body or there just is no mind or heart at all. I also don’t feel like it’s even my body though. I have so many gastrointestinal problems that I’m almost always in pain or discomfort. I had stress fractures and tendonitis in my feet that never healed so I’ve gone from being extremely active to having problems even walking, and I lost so much weight that I don’t even look like I used to.

The lack of feeling, inhumanness, hard, deadened, and being like a robot all go together. No matter how much a robot looks, moves, speaks, or acts like a human, it is not human, and even if it says “I love you”, it doesn’t actually FEEL it. I know that I love my grandma because when I think about her I feel the feeling of love, and that feels good just to actually FEEL something, but I don’t get that feeling when I think about anything/anyone else.

Being married: If I were married right now it would be bad, both for me and for my husband. For me, because I just want to be left alone, and I don’t like conversation – it wears me out. Sometimes I feel like having someone speaking to me sucks the energy from me; it’s very strange. For my husband it would be bad for the reasons I just mentioned and because of the lack of emotion/feeling. You can’t be married without love, and you can’t have love without feeling. It would just be two people taking up similar space – that’s not marriage. I’ll admit that I’ve never been good at sharing which would also be bad for marriage. My brother just got married in October, and it really made me wonder how people can just “give themselves” to each other. I really can’t imagine being with someone all the time for the rest of my life and sharing my life with him. I feel like I’d be giving up a part of myself, and right now I don’t even feel like me so I would try very hard to hold onto whatever parts of me I do have. I’ve also always had a very independent nature. I like to do things on my own. Even if it takes more time or is more difficult, I like the experience of doing it on my own as well as the sense of accomplishment at the end.

Other people expressing emotion: For me it’s embarrassing when other people cry or talk about their feelings. I guess I would be embarrassed to cry or express emotion in front of others so I’m embarrassed when others do so in front of me. Maybe I view it as weakness, but I’m not really sure. Sometimes, though, when people express happy emotions, like love, I wish I knew how to express such things too, but I just don’t know how, which leads into not being able to come up with the right words - I recently read an article about alumina that said people who need alumina are constipated in all possible ways, and that is how I feel. Not only am I physically constipated, I’m emotionally constipated, mentally constipated (from adrenal fatigue), menstrually constipated (amenorrhea), and verbally constipated. I either have the general idea of what I want to say but I can’t put it into words or I’ll be speaking and suddenly forget a simple, common word like pillow or shampoo. Sometimes I just lose my train of thought and completely forget what I was even saying. That might be the adrenal fatigue; I don’t know.

Thank you so much for reading through my posts and answering!

Now that I think about it, that’s one thing that I always have been able to express – gratitude; I’m very grateful for the things that people do for me, and I want them to know that I am truly appreciative, and I get angry when others either aren’t grateful or take advantage of kindness.
brinyskysail last decade

So you say 'When I was younger I was always very healthy, but I got bronchitis, tonsilitis, and pneumonia all at the same time when I was about 13-years-old, and I have never been the same since. '

^^^Was this the trigger of your health problems (beginning of the downfall) ?

sameervermani last decade
Sameer, yes I think it may have started with this because I had to take a lot of strong antibiotics. Afterward I could no longer eat anything containing yeast because it would cause horrible sinus pain; I have not eaten yeast since then. It also caused me to develop candidiasis, which, I just finally seemed to get rid of this past summer (so I had it for about 8 years). It was also right after taking those antibiotics that I first began having migraines when the atmospheric pressure drops. I have had migraines ever since, but I discovered feverfew, and if I take it as soon as I start to feel symptoms, it will prevent a migraine.

The major problems didn't arise until 3-4 years ago, but, as I said in my first post, I think those strong antibiotics set the stage (because I've never felt truly good since then), and the stress of college caused the symptoms I have now to emerge. My biggest problem is the constipation, and that began a few months after the food sensitivities/gastrointestinal problems began. They were the first symptoms to emerge along with weight loss.

Thanks for posting :)
brinyskysail last decade
Hmm..this is extremely important in your case. This is something we term a etiology of a case which is often the most important thing in tackling the outermost layer.

There is a remedy which covers that causation, and the whole state here which you term as 'robotic', and yet extremely sensitive to noise, and cold.

It does not quite cover the desire for salt and fats, but that could be your underlying constitution, so tell me this desire for salt and fat existed even before the pneumonia episode or is it more a recent thing ?
sameervermani last decade
The cravings for salty and fatty foods is much more recent. It may have to do with adrenal fatigue because that causes salt cravings, but I expected it to diminish as the adrenal fatigue has improved some, but I think the cravings have actually gotten worse. I'm not sure what role they play in the overall picture, but it just seems odd that I literally dump salt into my hand from the salt shaker and like it off because I crave salt so much.
brinyskysail last decade
In my last post I meant LICK it off, not LIKE it off
brinyskysail last decade
Hmm...that leans me a bit towards another remedy, it might be that you need both of them in sequence, but still let us try to differentiate further:

1./) How do view 'duty' ?

2./) How do you respond to change ?

3./) How would you rate your self-control ?

sameervermani last decade
Craving salt
Obstinate constipation with constriction of the sphincter
Aggravation from change of weather
Craving for fat
Aversion to company and conversation, Desire to be alone
Aversion to marriage, to men, to sex
Stilled affections, hardened or dead emotions

It is hard to go past Sepia in such a case. The physical generals certainly support the idea.

I would also need to differentiate such a case from Conium.
brisbanehomoeopath last decade
Sepia looks indicated, but I was thinking Kali-c more than Sepia. I would wait for her answers though to be sure.

In my experience, Sepia's etiology is usually related to child birth, confinement or too much domestic responsibility.

Kali-c is known to be an extremely strong remedy in the rubric 'never well since' pneumonia. Although I agree it does not cover the 'salt' craving, but I suspect a Phosphorus element in the case as well, which might explain the salt/fat craving.

Let's see though what she has to say in response to my queries.
sameervermani last decade
I hope you guys did consider Alumina here :)
faustian last decade
The loss of self - from bailey ( ' like I'm watching everything (even myself) from a distance.'...'the feelings of watching everything from afar and being a robot, it just seems like nothing is real')

the element of retention: physical - constipation,amenorrhea- as well as emotional - inability to express herself

her spare physique,problems with her feet,plus the general agg from cold and the etiology - ailments from use of allopathic drugs
faustian last decade
I am not sure that I see the state of indifference and apathy so strongly In Kali-carb. Indifference can be part of any remedy of course, but loss of love for those dear to them is not my understanding of the state of Kali-carb.

A remedy state that cannot be explained is more peculiar than one that can for me, so I am not too concerned that those clinical indications are missing.

Alumina did also show up in the analysis, although again the indifference or aversion to love seems less well covered by it

Kali-carb fights with their bread and butter(loved ones) but fear being left alone, Sepia feels drained by love and becomes indifferent to it, Alumina loses their identity and becomes confused, not able to tell the difference between themselves and others.
brisbanehomoeopath last decade
Thanks again for trying to help me figure this out. As for your questions:

responding to change: I used to be very adaptable, and I liked change. For example, I went on a mission trip to Haiti, and I loved the fact that I never knew what was going to happen from one moment to the next. Now, however, I feel like I have to have everything planned ahead of time, know what to expect, and not have any surprises.

self-control: I've always had good self-control and still do. Even if I get mad or upset, I'm able to remain polite and keep my composure. I never lash out at people, but I do often dwell on the things that have upset me; I have trouble 'moving on' past them, I guess. I also have good self-control in terms of not giving in to peer pressure or things that go against what I believe in/stand for; I'm not easily swayed.

I really don't know how to answer about duty. I guess since I don't have a job and I'm not in school, I've lost a sense of duty. I don't really have duty. What I do with my life has always been the most important thing to me. I've always wanted to live out God's will for my life and leave a positive mark on the world, but with my current health problems my life is at a stand still. I guess I feel that my duty right now is to regain my health so that I can live out my true life's purpose.

I also thought Sepia sounded reasonable. I don't know much about Kali-c and nothing about Conium. I had considered Alumina as well, but I'm able to tell the difference myself and others, I just feel sort of distant and estranged from the world, like I'm not really participating but rather watching from afar. Other than my preference for heat, I also thought about Nat-mur. I know almost nothing about homeopathy, though.

I did actually try Sepia; it was only 12c because that's all I could get at the time, I would have to order it online to get a higher concentration. I had been having bad low back pain at the time, and the morning after taking the Sepia, the backache was gone and hasn't come back, and my feet felt better that day than they have in a long time; they still feel somewhat better than they had been. Those were the only things I noticed. That was a week ago, I think. I don't know enough about homeopathy to know what to take, what potency, or how often.

Thanks for your help
brinyskysail last decade
Some other things:

I carry water around with me all the time because I'm always thirsty (maybe because of all the salt I eat), but even though I'm constantly thirsty, I can't drink a lot at once because it makes me feel sick, and I have to drink room temperature water because ice-cold water and hot drinks make me nauseous. I usually drink water with lime juice in it because I like sour things. I used to love spicy foods, but now they are too hard on my digestive system. Fruits have always been my favorite foods, but now that I have fructose malabsorption, I cannot eat them.
brinyskysail last decade
'Now, however, I feel like I have to have everything planned ahead of time, know what to expect, and not have any surprises. '

' I've always had good self-control and still do. '

^^This leans me towards Kali-c a bit..

But...since the 12c gave benefit, I would recommend staying with Sepia (David's recommendation), as it no doubt covers a lot of this case as David points out, even though not the typical etiology.

It might be that you need Kali-c later.

Since you last took a 6c, this time you can take a 30c, by dissolving just 1 pellet in about 250 ml spring water, and take a teaspoon from there, 3 times equally spaced for 1 day only. From next day no more doses. Just wait for a week and report back here.
sameervermani last decade
I am sorry I meant 'Since you last took a 12c' above.
sameervermani last decade
Actually, my advice since you have started with 12c, is to stay with it, but order the 30c as Sameer suggested.

Do you have liquid or pillules or pellets of the Sepia? To get the most out of the 12c you need to be very particular about how you take it and I can give you instructions for that. It is very important that you do not take repeated 'dry' doses (pillules or pellets).

If you only have dry doses, do you have a bottle with a lid and some alcohol to mix in with the water?
brisbanehomoeopath last decade
I only have pilules. Do I have to use alcohol?
brinyskysail last decade
She has already taken dry doses of 12c, that's why I thought going to 30c would be much safer.
sameervermani last decade
She had a good result on 12c so generally I stay where the improvement is happening until it is clear that the potency is not going to do any more.

I agree though that 12c is unlikely to do all the work - but I have seen emotional and even delusional states cure on 12c at times, so it is important not to prejudge the potency.

I don't think there would be a proble to repeat 12c in a wet dose until the 30c arrives.
brisbanehomoeopath last decade
I've been reading this case since she posted. It is proved that she already new her remedy is Sepia, very intelligent girl. It is indeed very good to verify things.

The reason for my opinion, at this point, is not to give her a wet dose, because she is already cold. The wet dose will create problems for her. She stated that 'I hate cold weather and love hot weather', therefore, dry doses will help.

Again, my opinion, no offence to anyone, after reading the first post, I wanted to suggest as following.

1. Sepia 200C in the pellets form for her chronic condition.

2. Natrum Phos 6X, after each meal for her constipation as I know Sepia alone will not solve her stool problem in a timely manner.

I hope and pray she is healthy soon.

nawazkhan last decade
Alcohol is used to preserve the remedy - if it is made with just water the remedy will not last very long and has to be constantly remade.

I typically use brandy or vodka - nothing with cream or milk in it.

If you don't have any alcohol don't worry too much about it for the moment.

Dissolve 1 pillule in water, then hit the bottle/container twice very firmly against the palm of the hand. Place 1 drop (if you can measure it that precisely) into 1/4 cup (60 ml) of water, stir thoroughly and take 1 teaspoon into the mouth.

This is one dose. To take more doses you start from hitting the bottle again against the palm of the hand twice.

Each step in doing this can be adjusted to change the effect of the remedy.

The number of hits of the bottle increases the strength to different levels.

The number of drops and the amount of water used affects the degree of aggravation.
brisbanehomoeopath last decade

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