David - Please guide

Have sent a mail to you also on hotmaiid, it has some key details, hope you got it.


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Feeling/Behaviour questions
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1. Describe more on 'lost in my thoughts'
5. Describe 'confusion'.
6. Describe your thoughts.

Thoughts – I think a lot, constant thinking, jumping form topic to topic, generates a lot of ideas, many a times I am sitting in class/ watching tv and mind will be thinking something else, I even talk to myself mentally. If I am imagining a scenario (suppose I met you, what you asked, what I answered) naturally the concentration n absorption is poor. In Movies or lectures my mind wanders a lot.

Lacks Focus, clarity, not being able to pick up whole context and theme, if I concentrate I get lost in details. Mind itself talks, chatters, random chatter, if I sit in lecture I do get confused.

I am away from reality, many times I think in terms of visuals/imagination. Even while writing these answers it took me almost 2hrs. and my mind produced 2-3 brilliant ideas, constant talking, 5-7 visual memories, 5-7 future scenarios, 5-7 plans, radio at the back ground provides company and I have to raise my concentration/focus level. Future senarious/imagination, like talking to someone, explaining something to someone. All the future scenarios are rosy.


2. Describe more on 'lack'.
Lack is the sense of lacking confidence, courage, surety from inside, being small/not as good as compared to other people. I am not as good as others. When a challenge comes up, I hesitate, I will not be able to do it.

This mixed sense of lack (courage, confidence, surety, uncertainity – easily gets into anxiety, worried, fearful domain) I can feel in my chest, solar plexus. Many a times I have noticed that I dotn breath deep and relaxed, I sort of tend to pull my solar plexus back inside a bit. Anxious and nervous.

This lack of trust is there for life, future in general also, if someone could assure me that I am safe, secure and taken care of. Simply writing this line down I can feel a big sign and relief. (I am safe, secure and taken care of)

Like right now I have got into some issues in terms of paperworks and I have delayed it for months
In this senario I lack Confidence, courage, surety and assertiveness, I am fearful, apprehensive, uncertain. Besides Lack there is also a huge indecisivness, so procrastination is huge.

Todays example
1. I saw some videos on you tube of a talented paino player, was moved by his music, imagined as If I was that good in school and how much people appreciated/loved me. That is “talent/success”

2. Read a profile of some senior wikipedia business head, he can speak 3-4 languages, has held top positions in lot of companies. I was impressed. These kind of examples are lot.


3. Describe more on 'sense of priority'
This is not a feeling, but a theoretical statement that I lack sense of priority/urgency/mustness of a situation. I have never been able to implement my plans for whatever issues. I get busy in lot of other things in my mind. (traits I think I need to implement the plans is focused mind, non-overenthusiasm, starting, comprehension, courage, confidence, surety)


4. Describe the feeling of being alone.
I dont share my inner feelings with anyone, projects an image of confidence and plan to my friends also. My issues I keep to myself.

If feel comfortable if there is TV, radio, some noise in background. Whole day I am alone since roommate goes to work, when apprehension, fearful state comes then I definitely want someone around.

I live with my close friend for last 10 yrs, talk daily to one person who is like my elder sister, she is the only one who I share exact feelings, She is also a Reiki master (she send healing whenever I gets really worried). Even I am a reiki second degree channel but somehow I am not regular in meditation and moreover I doubt that I can heal myself.


12. Tell me about rankers, achievers, special talents, toppers.
Since childhood I appreciated the seniors who were excellent in studies, I always wanted to know what they do, how they do, wanted to be like them, basically impressed by them. I was not that friendly to my batch toppers, there was a underlying sense “he is better than me”, not competitiveness but “sort of I have to compare/justify myself to him internally”

Even from childhood if someone was good at tennis, guitar, stage performance, I secretly used to wish to be like that, in fact better than him. Will engage in imagination.

There were 2 category of excellent people – one who were friendly to me, with them I sought to be accepted, mingle, sort of measure up (feeling “I am like them”). With the other category who were not close /friends with me I downplayed them in my mind (feeling “wow he is good, I wish I was like him, bit jealous also, but in some areas he is idiot”)


13. Talk more about people being above, below, at different levels. Tell me about that in society.

I appreciate people who are Decisive, assertive, motivated, successful. This is the I had image of successful people and I wanted to emulate those traits. I guess I never had originality, no assurance from inside, I was always emulating or pushing mentally (planning, imagination). This is the only kind of people I am interested in as I want to be like that.

In my relatives there are few who have there own company, who are at senior management positions, I appreciate them in terms of traits.

I never denigrate any other people, infact I am extremely friendly with all, make friends easily, like to help and advise anyone who need something.

In society
- Successful people have lot of internal traits well developed (both nature and nurture), if anyone can get in that zone he will be successful (earlier this meant high position, high salary only but with age I have learnt balance in individual is more important, lot of other qualities like passion, enthusiasm, satisfaction are necessary, now I carry a more balanced point of view.)
- I feel deeply for poor/ down trodden people.
- I can pick up/read on other peoples feelings.


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Stage related question
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14. When do you give up, at what stage?
The stage description thing is very crucial to my personality, it got repeated in
1. higher schooling, 2. Engineering, 3. Masters, 4. After masters (its been 8yrs).

1. Dreamy, lot of plans of achievements (high targets, am able to figure out all the means to reach them, theoretical plan is perfect, more detailed than probably necessary)
2. When time comes to start – I delay, too much to do, mental weariness, cant focus,
3. When the time is slipping, I adjust the plan, schedules and maintain the sense of control and security.
4. When its crunch time, I get anxious, worried, try to read it all (too much, too fast, gets lost in details, not even a average preparation, confidence zero) In engg was not able to do this last ditch effort also and kept papers for next semester for reappearance consequently had huge backlog and next semester didn’t write any papers and failed a yr
5. After the exam if I fail I naturally get depressed, self critical, if there is some bad consequences I get apprehensive, fearful and I get in my shell of not fighting back (normally also I am not assertive)
6. Next time another plan

On the emotional side, I get discouraged easily,
I never give up consciously


15. Talk more about 'being energized from the inside'.
- feels weak in morning, cant get up promptly
- if a work comes along, feels like wow man lots to do, can see n feel the whole effort involved
- when I have to start a work/study It feel like too much effort
- Intellectual but physically activity zero


### Why I am not able to implement my plan?
- I produce a lot of plans, revised plan, fine tuned plans.
- Delay habit is there from before
- Actual doing seems tiring, too much to do, feels not upto it, might not be able to do
- On rare occasion when I start I am able to more than I thought
- When I do I face low comprehension, hurried, confusion, stuck in details, unsurety leads to zero confidence (This is the KEY traits)

8. What happens when you start studying?
Comprehension skills are poor, when I try to read a passage I cant absorb/understand it. Reflection and reasoning in not there. Natural tendency is to hurry a bit also.

In few minutes the brain freezes and the comprehension hits zero, if I push I can only get lost in details and overall context is lost. Brain gets slow and its waste of time.

While reading also I get confused as I am not able to follow a line of reasoning and mentally I zig-zag.

If I get a book I am really interested in I can manage to stimulate my brain juices to do a better job, but its hard doing this also now. I have almost exhausted my interest areas and now after 6 yrs reality needs more attention.



10. What does an exam feel like for you?
Exam – last proper exam I gave was in may 08
My preparation before exam is poor and the unsurety leads to zero confidence, there is nothing to fight in terms of exam its more salvage whatever you can.

The same situation will come up for the implementing the plan I am in now. I will have to face interviews, job in 1-2 months.


7. Describe the experience of 'giving up'.
In a way I have never given up on dreams, I have failed to implement plans, dragged through after math of emotional sadness/depression. I have become more discouraged, hopeless but ifyou ask me do I think I can make it in my life. I will say Yes but I need some support.

I have always changed my areas (engg- electronics, masters-finance, trying to get job area1 – SAP FICO (2008), next area – Oracle Fin (2010) now- (2011)). This has definitely developed more non assertiveness and flatness in my nature.

After masters the cycle
Put a plan out – Fail to implement – change to a better plan (I will have to implement, face the interviews, justify the grand plans, learn the stuff)

9. Tell about 'failing so many times.'
No emotional baggage about this, my sense of superiority is strong. Its just the same pattern has repeated and I missed on huge opportunities in 12th, Engg, MS. Its just that I lost lot of years (7), I just want to get in the best job possible, I have a definite plan and I just need to execute it and I will land a job in 150K area (its challenging but possible) and then see from there.

Maybe because of bach flowers I have been able to objectify the aspects, my focus has been to solve the traits. In this quest of mine I have learned lot of behavioral traits/aspects from inside. I have learned Buddhist philosophy, hindu philosophy. (not much but I like to believe that I am much more balanced as a individual)


11. Are there periods when you are not giving up? What are you like then?

I never gave up, I got in mess, got anxious, sad, depressed but somehow came out of the situation (sometimes took yrs).

Right now I have to invest a lot in order to have one more shot at getting a job in US, its been 4yrs and my friend who could not get a job here left 1-2 yrs back. I do get sad, anxious, depressed but some how my plan is always objective and good.

Current plan
- Study 2 areas perfectly (will have to cram a lot at a high level) (may)
- Start giving interviews and justify the knowledge (june)
- When my status starts get on a job (aug)
- Learn everything on job (Sep-Dec)


# Some others areas of my personality
- Something is wrong, impure about me that needs to be set right,
- Self perfection, used to read self help books in colleges, success books, learned bach flower
- Have always analyzed people n terms of their behavior traits.


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There is another track – “Emotional seeking”
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- In childhood I feel I didn’t get proper affection and care from parents, agreed they were pushy on studies/marks but even I couldn’t take “do this” kind of sentences easily. I was a bit rebellious and non-listening.
- in Higher schooling I had 3 friends (girls) whome I used to see as my emotional support for almost 2 yrs, it was just my imagination only, I was just another friend to them.
- In engg I had a GF, so the emotional seeking was not there, surprisingly I used to be bossy, over convincing, shouting at her, blaming her for my issues, when she left I was hurt and dejected for 2-3yrs.
- In masters I tried to get close to a girl, helped her in lot of ways, she got another BF, I ended up playing role of personal advisor.
- We can add emotional, romantic, and stupid as my characteristics.
- In all these scenarios I have played a role of sort of care/concern/father (care, concern, advise, critical, expecting, getting hurt) Bach flower – chicory dynamics



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Bach flowers
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In terms of bach flowers, to sum up
1. Non confrontation nature, Shrieking from responsibility, not learning from life – Agrimony, Chestnutbud
2. lacks Practicality, no clarity, no overenthusiasm – Clematis, Whitechestnut, Vervain
3. No Doing, Starting work, InDecisiveness – Hornbeam, Schleranthus,
4. Discouraged easily - genetian
5. Lacks Surety, no Confidence, Getting lost in details – Cerato, Larch, Crab apple
6. Discontentment, lacks “I have to do this” – Willow
7. Emotional seeking, affectation – Chicory
8. Timidity, Apprehension – Mimulus, Aspen


Bottomline question
1. What do i feel right now and need right now?
I feel lack, no courage, less surety, worry, apprehension, Mind thinking in images, fear in chest, no confidence, Focus

#
Once my homoepath 03-07, had given me a remedy that changed me dramatically. The good effects of that were as follows.
- I became physically active, long walks
- Completely in present and practical
- Deep breathing, courageous, sure, confident

Think that was sambucus nigra
After that remedy I had told him that I need to develop comprehension skills. I remember I joined a coaching class for GRE exam and while reading comprehension passages I could absorb/understand them.



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NOTE ===
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I wrote the above in the morning
#
Writing this much and viewing my life objectively in itself has been therapeutic and not only I can clearly see the pattern but I can see the changed state within me also. (I have been working with bach flowers for almost 5-6 yrs and have developed sensitivity and familiarity with these states/mindsets within me)

I understood myself better.

You can ask me any question you want.

bump

I always had a fear of heights, in 98 we moved to a flat on 15th floor, i could never go near window and peep down.

My mind always engages in thinking worst case senarios, like imagining car crash, feeling impulse to jump in water body. its kind of funny that it happens automatically

I always eat less, but After a good meal i feel sleepy.

Let me know what you see in my case.

I did gain clarity for myself after writign the case.

1. will this objectivity help you in any way if i list the central areas.

2. Is there any place i can read about vanadium metallicum,

3. may i ask how you land on this small remedy like this in my case. do you remember all 5000+ ?

4. If you are sure should i order 1m also?

wow i am moved by the description.

1. Is this the ian scholten group analysis or some other analysis.

2. Do you want me to order 1m also.

Please see above ques.

I have read the detailed description u gave above (hope u didnt type it, did u?), it feels too right. i am in sort of disbeleif.

Uptill now i was under impression that the main remedies are the only thing. The old school was right and new school is wrong. have read a lot over internet and mostly its all critical about the new teachers and new approach.

Why there are no strong proponents of the expanded/new system?

i am sort of amused.

cant thankyou enough, and cant kick myself enough for not touching base with you earlier.

This article of david little is the key article in terms of understanding the synthesis of both systems. Not only it comes from the greatly respected David little himself but also the fact that he explains very clearly and incisively.

I have read the voices of all these new teachers in their books in a limited way only.

I think you are the only one who is accessible and open in sharing this new methods selflessly. Needless to say that the work which you are doing is definitely going to pave the way to bridge this gap (old/new school).

I firmly believe that history of civilization is selfless work of few individuals. my sincere respect and regards to you. you will be in my daily prayers form now onwards (list includes dalai lama, Dr usui, my gurus and other few individuals).


One thing i saw in the cases that a 200c has good effects for almost 6mts???? is it so

Should i order 1m also or not?

Hi david,

I have ordered, waiting eagerly for it.

1. let me know how to take

2. I read the cases in detail, There is definetly a lot of insight required on practitioner s side.

on the patients side i am surprised that one remedy which has its center on some underlying theme can cure all other daily symptoms.

3. Now the case giving it self has been therapeutic to me in some degrees. What if i describe my case now, will the projected theme be different? i am kind of amused that a person lives his life around one theme.

much thanks and regards

I agree the theme has remained constant for last 15-20yrs.

Now that you have given me the description of VM, I can tell you how much it fits me and particularly the parent child relationship was exactly how it got developed. but that will be kind of reverse engineering.


1. what kind of alcohol?

2. I remember clearly that david little had made it very clear that succession with C scale is not to be done. am i missing some aspect of here?

Extremely sorry I was wrong, I checked. I also had another wrong notion that C scale cannot be repeated until full relapse.

Not only it given in medicinal solution with succession but also can be repeated before complete relapse

# Medicinal solution of C scale can be repeated with succession before complete relapse

“Nevertheless, with the medicinal solution in centesimal potencies there is no need to wait if the client is only slowly improving or wait for a complete relapse of the symptoms.” – David little

David little website - Hahnemann's Advanced Methods
www.simillimum.com/education/little-library/the-works-of-great-homoeopaths/ham/article08.php

Please see above post also

I got a 15ml bottle with dropper attached, filled it with tap water and added brandy (5:1) (matured in oak for 3yr), added 2 pillules.

Just wanted to check if the matured in oak brandy is ok. i will take the dose once u say its ok.

Took one spoon 30min back, feels as if the dose was very less (in terms of effect that i am feeling), should i take more spoons (i have the cup saved as i had doubt that the dose might be very less)

feels as if i should have taken atleast 4 spoons for a nice effect.

let me know