never ending fear anxiety depression62 yrs old female. agoraphobia around age 6 . had to hide it from my family. parents alcohol abuse . i cannot handle liquor.i have had a whole life of misfortune .
Fear was always with me depression,no sense of self , no core. severe lack of self esteem. artistic - shunned by teachers - completely unable to access creative side - parents abandoned me on all levels. passive aggressive cruelty.
what i am dealing with now is complete exhaustion of life . although i continue to try and heal myself it is with no speak at all. i do it because i must , because the pain and anguish every day is so severe. because i cannot leave as i have a dog to take care of and a son i would not want to do that to. i have tremendous grief , fear anxiety upon waking or waking me up in a start and struggle all day with it,sometime relief by afternoon or evening. most times i want to be lying down and tuning out.
traits that i have ben trying to work on lately is --hidden deep inside me which gets triggers very seldom is rage - and cruelty and wanting to beat and beat my dog. this is very difficult to see in me . i can also trace it back to wanting to state a vulnerable child years ago - i was frightened by my desire to do so - yet it was very strong. i have learned from my mother to get angry at people who are happy , enjoying life, i am have ben sulky most of young life - i see my self complaining all the time now( my life situation has been of great misfortune the past number of years) i have very little faith or hope . many day with the anxiety i hear myself screaming inside to reach out in desperation to someone anyone for a connection. there is no one . or none that i want to subject this to. i am estranged from my family. i have a son whom i adore and we are close but i have to keep all this away from him . so i feb completely alone.
things i am struggling with now - fear , aversion to work. constant fear of not having a home , money . great fear of same in old age. lack of gratitude, ptsd. unable to relax or feel any peace with in my body EVER. hence inability to meditate or try relaxing modes . anger . hate others looking at me . feel like i am insulting others by taking up space in this world. feel terribly unattractive, offensive visually.
sense of refusing to try . great fear of tying . looking down on othesr that try and care . taught to be very all of - show no emotions - were punished if we did.. greta resentment to claw till my fingers bleed to find work which invariablly will hate and struggle to make enough money for a rent that is worse than unsatisfactory. struggling to get by each day ... when i would rather not be here . very angry that i have to stay alive. have lost the will to fight to be enthused, creative .lost that almost 20 years ago and have been trying to get it back since. much more but this is enough for now.
pat on 2016-06-10
The following additional information is required to help you.
2. Male or Female or other
8. List of your complaints
9. Since how long are you suffering from each complaint
10. Diabetic or non-Diabetic
11. Desire sweets/sour/salt
13. Tongue and Taste
14. Current Blood Pressure (without medicine and with medicine)
15. One situation that had a
big effect on you?
16. Important Question.
Current and previous remedies/medicines you are taking or took in the past?
17. Educational Qualifications of the patient
18. Nature of work, what do you do for living?
19. Important Question.
Mind-behavior, anger, irritability, hurry,
impatient…and so on.. How are you different from other persons, public speaking or not, you can describe all of the details about your behavior, love and affections.
20. Color of the secretions/discharges e.g
Pus, urine, stool, sputum, Saliva etc.
For Females Only
21. When is the period during the month approx. date?
Any monthly cycle issues? Regular, early, late, before problems, after problems,
pain, any other discharges?
22. Are you pregnant? If yes, please give pregnancy start date? Any current issues?
♡ nawazkhan 3 years ago
To post a reply, you must first LOG ON or Register
Information given in this forum is given by way of exchange of views only, and those views are not necessarily those of ABC Homeopathy. It is not to be treated as a medical diagnosis or prescription, and should not be used as a substitute for a consultation with a qualified homeopath or physician. It is possible that advice given here may be dangerous, and you should make your own checks that it is safe. If symptoms persist, seek professional medical attention. Bear in mind that even minor symptoms can be a sign of a more serious underlying condition, and a timely diagnosis by your doctor could save your life.