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Severe depression not responding to treatment

Hello my name is Mel. This is my first time visiting this site. I feel desperate for help.
In Sept.of 2015 I had what might be classed as a "breakdown." I was in an emergency room with my Mom (been there many times without issue) when I felt something give way in my body. I became very anxious. I tried to calm myself but my physical body felt like it was being chased by a bear. I was stuck in "fight or flight" mode.
I sought medical attention within a week or so. No matter what medication I was given it did not work. About a month later, I was trying to rest on my bed when a depressive thought entered my mind. Suddenly everything I had ever done that I am not proud of was flashing in my mind.
I know what depression is because I suffered from it after the birth of our son many years ago.
I have continued to try medications. I am compliant with my doctor. But after all this time, I am still severely depressed. He (the doctor) wants me to consider more drastic treatment such as ECT. I don't want to lose my memories.
I have a incredibly supportive husband. He is so patient with me. I spend hours looking for remedies to bring my brain and body back into balance. I am so afraid.
I hate what this is doing to my relationships. Not only have I had a wonderful marriage, I also have a few very close friends who I cherish. I don't talk about this depression as I don't want to bring others down. But they can see it and by my lack of comminicating they know there is a deep problem.
I have a great deal of anxiety. Most of it is because I am afraid that this will go on forever. Also, I feel guilty for having suicidal thoughts. I don't want to have them. I don't want to be depressed--period. Yet I've been unable to escape from it thus far.
I'm not sure what other information to include. I am going thru perimenopause. The doctor said that could be a factor. But, I don't know.
This all started after we received word that my youngest sister had overdosed and died. How I loved her. My heart is broken. There was a series of events. I found myself feeling so tired and a little anxious. I thought it would go away. I stayed engaged in my relationships, listened to music, read books, journaled.
I am a caregiver for my mother. Or I am supposed to be. I do my best but my mind feels broken. And, I feel exhausted. Looking back, I've felt tired in my mind for a very long time.
We eat healthy. Not because I desire food but because I know this is important to recovery. My husband had open heart surgery a little over 10 years ago. We've changed our lifestyle to bring us into a state of well-being. I'm so frustrated that all the work we've done seems in vain, at least for me, as depression is squeezing the life out of me. I worry about my husband. He's picked up the load. We have been a good team for well over 30 years. In the last five years he has worked afternoons and I have been helping with as many things as possible. Since this has happened I'm not much help at all. I want to be but my mind is so occupied about finding a remedy for this depression before it ruins all of our lives.
As far as homeopathic medicine goes, I'd never heard of it until I read something online recently.
I purchased Ignatia Amara 200ck but when it arrived I didn't know what to do with it. I also have Kali Phos 6x. I have used that, under my tongue, when my mind is racing at bedtime.
I am on traditional medications even though they haven't lifted the depression. Because of them I do sleep at night. I neglected to say that during the 2 months following the "breakdown" because of being stuck in a state of high alert I was only sleeping a few hours at night. It was frustrating. I tried everything that was suggested including good sleep hygiene to no avail.
I stumbled on an article about Bach essence recently. I've purchased some and have used them for several weeks but have not had results yet. I think if my condition was less severe they would probably be very helpful.
I'm so tired physically. Also, emotionally. I know that depression is a horrible liar. My greatest fear is that I'll remain stuck in this darkness. It is hurting my husband so much. I'm so worried about him, too.
I read an article about homeopathy late last night. It was a story of a woman who was cured my using one of the remedies. Her state sounded so much like mine. It gave me hope.
I was going to purchase the remedy that was mentioned in the story but then I noticed in reading on this forum that too much of these remedies can cause a bad effect. That frightened me.
Please could someone recommend a remedy to me? I don't know of any homeopathic practitioners and also I do not drive. Some of that is due to being so nervous, scattered and exhausted. Some of it is due to multiple sclerosis.
I have such blessings in my life. I am not a negative person by nature. I am a sensitive person who tries to please and never hurt anyone else. My feelings are tender.
I have had some anxiety previous to this. It was over two decades ago. I was treated for it and got better. I am not someone who is rearing to go when it comes to trying new things. I have to ease into them.
I'm not certain what else to include. How I pray that homeopathy might bring some relief. Not just for myself but for my precious family and friends who are patiently waiting for the "real me" to come back. Some have given up, but a few have hung on. This has been a long season. I do NOT want to die. My brain is off balanced. I want to live and be able to function again.
Thank you in advance for reading this and any help you might offer.
 
  Mel on 2017-01-30
This is just a forum. Assume posts are not from medical professionals.
Hi,
Homeopathy can help you but you need to understand how it works .

First, you can "see" a homeopath online via Skype quite easily. Face to face is best as the homeopath can then use all tools to select the right remedy and the potency and amount of doses matter also, especially if sensitive and especially when you are on other meds which you will want to wean off correctly to avoid withdrawal.

Homeopathy is a total different system in that it works due to the fact our bodies will not accept 2 similar disease states at same time. The remedy is chosen to match your state
And also what went on when this began. In your case it is grief, shock,
And exacerbated by caregiving your mother.

The homeopath needs to know mental, physical, emotional, what makes things better or worse, etc
To do the match well.

When you take one dose or two of the right remedy, your body sees it
As similar. The body reacts by boosting your own life force to clear.
As it does that it clears the remedy and same time clears the underlying match. You can google Herings law of cure. This tells you what homeopaths are going to look for to see if remedy is going in correct direction. You would not take a second dose while things are unfolding.

In your case one has to monitor your
Drugs tapering at same time.

What country are you in? I can give you names of good homeopath's who are experienced with this. This forum was set up as discussion. The owner lets anybody suggest anything. There are only a couple homeopaths on here off and on. You have to get advice from a pro.
 
simone717 3 years ago
Thank you for the additional information. I've been reading more on homeopathy today.
[Edited by Mel on 2018-02-16 17:05:50]
 
Mel 3 years ago
This is not something where you pick a remedy and try it. It requires taking your case correctly by an experienced person. Homeopaths go to other homeopaths as it is very difficult to be neutral in matching yourself. If you google materia medica of --- fill in the blank and start reading all the mental, physical etc of even one remedy , just about everyone finds they match parts of it.

And, in your case , the homeopath might want to start out with something like nux vomica to clear out some of your medications.
You have to have guidance. Will post
Suggestions.
 
simone717 3 years ago
I suggest you google dr leela D'Souza. Www.homeopathy2health.
You can work online with her or the other practitioner david Johnson.
They are both excellent homeopaths and are very well regarded.

Another person who will do Skype or phone is Mary Aspinwall, Santa Barbara. Excellent , 20 years experience.

Third person:LiaBello in New Mexico.
She is a nurse homeopath and teacher. And will work by phone. Call her vs emailing.

I am intuitively leaning towards Mary or lia for you.
[message edited by simone717 on Tue, 31 Jan 2017 06:19:43 UTC]
 
simone717 3 years ago
Dear Mel

Check your prakriti at holistic online. Com under ayurveda section and report scores.

Also your major physical disease history and digestive history in detail.

Your height , weight and any food/taste addictions- Tea/coffee/alcohol? ?

Practising ayurveda is life changing.
 
Teupne 3 years ago
Thank you for the additional information. I contacted Mary after visiting her website. She can't begin with me until March. I'm not sure I can wait that long. I'll check out Lia next.

To Teupne
I did not do the ayureda testing. I need to check into it first. In all honesty I am overwhelmed as it is.

But I can tell you that I am about 5 foot 4 inches, I weigh 122 pounds. I do not have any food addictions. I don't drink alcohol. I rarely drink decaf coffee. I do drink herbal teas.

My stomach is very sluggish despite eating mostly whole foods. It feels swollen and I have not been able to remedy that.

Another thing that I notice is that my skin is dry and I appear to be dehydrated no matter how much fluids I take in. This is something I have never had trouble with until recently. I have begun adding trace minerals to my filtered water but so far it hasn't changed things.

I have a diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis. I had an ongoing infection that was treated often with intravenous antibiotics. I haven't taken those in at least 15 years or more.

I will try to check out ayurveda when I am up to it. When I do, I will report my scores.

I am taking Holy Basil and Lemon Balm. I have a couple more herbs here but they interact with my medications. Medications that aren't working. If I can make some forward progress, I'll wean off of them.

I am taking amino acid supplements. Have go low on them due to the risks related to serotonin syndrome. I'm being very careful. Thus far I haven't noticed a change but it has only been a few days. These things take time.[message edited by Mel on Wed, 01 Feb 2017 00:11:46 UTC]
[Edited by Mel on 2018-02-16 17:06:49]
 
Mel 3 years ago
Hi, Mel

You mentioned arum metallicum.
This doesn't exist. There is A U R U M metal Aur abchomeopathy.com/r.php/Aur , or there are several different varieties of arum (lily). (Sorry, if I write the word without spaces in, the system picks up a wrong link.)

As others have said, please find and consult a competent homeopath to take your full case and use their many years of learning to help you. (Would you consider doing surgery on yourself based on internet advice? No? Better to ask an expert, wouldn't you say?)

As well as homeopathy, you should look at nutrition and the possibility that you have been (or are being) exposed to toxins, such as insecticides, for example.
Homeopathy should work well in tandem with nutritional therapy (different from weight control)
See for example www.foodforthebrain.org/nutrition-solutions/depression/about-depression.aspx

You might also research the topic of "adrenal insufficiency", a condition resulting from onging stress which can produce your symptoms. Even homeopathy would need, say, fish oils to correct this condition.

Please, find & consult a homeopath, it shouldn't cost a fortune.

Remember, one step at a time, one foot in front of the other, keep going.

Good luck
[message edited by WLaChenal on Wed, 01 Feb 2017 02:29:21 UTC]
 
WLaChenal 3 years ago
Hello:

Perhaps I spelled it incorrectly, I meant Aurum Metallicum. It does exist as I have ordered it although I don't currently have it yet.

I'm not a fan of treating myself which is why I've spent a great deal of money on medications and counseling. That hasn't been money well spent. I don't blame the doctor I just think it is time to look elsewhere.

We have been shoring up our diet, supplementing (I just added amino acids). I take 1 gram of fish oil daily. We eat fish often. I do not eat red meat. We eat mostly whole foods. I have to watch what I take in turns of herbs due to the medication I am currently taking. My system is sensitive to changes. So it is with some fear and trepidation that I consider taking a remedy without fully understanding how dosing works.

I am taking Holy Basil and Lemon Balm. I had to discontinue Curcumin for now due to possible interactions.

I guess I'm trying to say that I am doing everything that I possibly can to get well. I have no idea why my body is not reacting to the many medications that I have tried. Perhaps it is a blessing in disguise but I won't know that until I'm feeling better.

I have studied adrenal fatigue and suspect it could be possibility. That or a hormone imbalance. Or maybe I'm missing some amino acids despite eating healthy.
[Edited by Mel on 2018-02-16 17:08:13]
 
Mel 3 years ago
Dear Mel

As per ayurveda root cause of all diseases is ama (toxins) in body caused due to improper digestive fire (low or high) and incorrect diet.

Modern drugs are toxic and do not address root cause. They result in imbalances going deeper in to the body also destroy organs.

They are quick fixes which deplete and worsen further overtime much like makeup on scars.

Thus my personal advice is natural therapies.

I have also been there for long.Fortunately ayurveda brought me back.

No reason why it can't help you also.

Depression is ultimately bankruptcy of normal body function and balance.

Fix your digestion. It can commence your healing.

Three steps to ayurvedic healing

1.DETOX (eliminates ama root cause of diseases) panchkarma

2.Balance doshas (five elements) Herbs and other preparations.

3.Rejuvenate.with herbs



You seem vata (air) individual.
Check your scores and report.I will suggest further if you are interested. Also you can seek a good ayurvedic practitioner.
 
Teupne 3 years ago
Teupne:

There is no ayuruveda here. But thanks.
[Edited by Mel on 2018-02-16 17:09:21]
 
Mel 3 years ago
On sedative for 20 years why? ?
 
Teupne 3 years ago
Your doctor does not want you reading online coz he is a moron who does not know nothing and does not want to risk you knowing it.Ask him cause of your illness.

Whatever he says is no gospel truth. So do your research and proceed.

Modern medicine is mostly a scam in my opinion even worse than placebos.Atleast placebos don't ruin you.

Read more on ayurveda. Stop all medicines and heal naturally. It is time taking but possible and real.Ayurveda tells you root cause of illness and addresses it.

Read prakriti by svoboda.
David frawley: healing consciousness
Also
Ayurvedic encyclopedia.

Good luck.

P.s scattered nervous afraid anxious fearful sensitive etc. All indicate excess vata/vayu/air in your body as all are air attributes.

Air is cold/light/variable/dry


You are constipated/dislike cold and dry weather and food alike/cold to touch .......
Like increases like and opposites balance.Hence air attributes are balanced by warm/oily food and herbs.

I will share more once you figure things out.
[message edited by Teupne on Wed, 01 Feb 2017 14:58:42 UTC]
 
Teupne 3 years ago
Dear Teupne:
I did an online test and it appears that I am a mix. No numbers were given. Maybe I didn't go to the right place.
I will come back later if I can find a place to take that test. However, I would like to try homeopathic remedies first. That's what my heart seems to be telling me.[message edited by Mel on Wed, 01 Feb 2017 22:55:41 UTC]
[Edited by Mel on 2018-02-16 17:10:40]
 
Mel 3 years ago
Teupne:
Vata=52
Pita=34
Kapha=54

These scores mean nothing to me. I'm not able to study this while trying to understand homeopathic medications.

I would need to be more stable and clear minded to learn about these other things. What I really need currently is a starting remedy. My life is on the line and all those I love are also hurting because of my current state.

[message edited by Mel on Wed, 01 Feb 2017 22:55:11 UTC]
[message edited by Mel on Thu, 02 Feb 2017 02:25:13 UTC]
 
Mel 3 years ago
Simone717

I saw the list of questions required to get advise regarding a remedy. I copy & pasted it in and answered then all but they aren't in the post. I got them from antivurus' thread. I don't see the point of redoing it since I don't even know if that person will reply.

You have said that an in real life homeopath would be best given the complexity of my case. I heard you loud and clear. I do agree but haven't found one yet. Getting through the day is a challenge.

I will continue to try to find someone to work with in person. It is difficult to function, deal with my responsibilities and try to find someone to treat me. I am trying. Mary won't have an opening until March. That's a long time to wait.

Someone once said 'he is a fool who treats himself." Basically, I believe it too be true.
[Edited by Mel on 2018-02-16 17:13:23]
 
Mel 3 years ago
Dear Mel,

Your case is not something that can be treated on a forum. It is very challenging due to ms, and your medications. It requires a very experienced homeopath and there would be a lot of monitoring as you go along.

You are new to this and the average time a homeopath starts out with, is talking to you for 90 minutes at least to get all your details in depth.

You do not understand that you cannot pick one of those remedies and potencies may be wrong and cause new symptoms you never had.
And even if right you can experience worsening of symptoms for a time as the remedy starts to clear out everything that your psychiatric medicines has suppressed over time.
Things will show up and then leave,
And many who do not understand how this can unfold go right back to taking more meds if they do not have guidance and help with the release.

If you take something on your own,
You will soon run into trouble with
Possible reactions and not know how to proceed.

If you need more qualified experienced homeopaths, I can give you more names. I would check with dr leela , and see what she says or suggests.
 
simone717 3 years ago
Actually, I do understand. I've been reading at the site you mentioned to me.

I'll keep reading case studies and they to be careful. I will try to look up the other name you gave. I'm not sure anyone will work with me but I will keep searching and trying.[message edited by Mel on Sat, 11 Feb 2017 22:09:31 UTC]
[Edited by Mel on 2018-02-16 17:15:02]
 
Mel 3 years ago
Simone717

I realize you are advising me with wisdom. I will continue to read and learn. Hopefully I will find someone to work with soon.
[message edited by Mel on Thu, 02 Feb 2017 07:19:02 UTC]
 
Mel 3 years ago
Simone717

I have contacted Lia Bello and am awaiting a reply. I don't know if she does long distance consultations but she is definitely an expert.

Thank you for your help.
 
Mel 3 years ago
I'm not an expert in homeopathic solutions but I too suffered from major depression for 10yrs and survived. I contemplated suicide daily sometimes several times a day. I know the hopeless feeling of despair that one can't understand PhD or not unless you have experience it too. In my experience there was no magic pill to fix this and they all take a long time to know if the work are not ,( several months-1year) I tried several of the most popular. Wellbutrin was the best for me. Not only did it treat the depression but it gave energy and help to loose weight as well.Daily B Vitamins, St. Johns wart and Omega 3s good as well. Herbal teas help. Chamomille in any form such as tea, aromatherapy, or anything is really good for calming, relaxing, and destressing. Also if you are overweight at all as I was slightly loosing weight helped. Exercise releases dophamine & seratonin ( the same thing anti-drepress meds do) and makes you feel awesome. Leafy greens and plenty of water helps. Avoid too much sugar. The suicidal thoughts for me were impulsive and only lasted 30minutues-an 1hror2. So I would fight the urge to harm myself until it passed and afterwards there was always a little light and rainbow at the end of the tunnel and I knew it would get better and I would be OK. It wasn't the end of the world after all! Also when i wanted to give up living for myself I always thought of others and how bad i would hurt them if i did the unthinkable. My loved ones and God were the anchors that i held on too when the imulse to harm myself came. Sometimes I imagined my own funeral and pictured them each their devastated. I am alive today many times because of them. Counseling or talking to someone helps. But the most imp. Thing you can do is not a pill or doctor but to find the inner strength,will, and determination in you to cope with and great your depression from within cause nobody knows you like you. I figured out each issue that was the source of my depression and slowly learned how to cope with them and overtime I gained a more positive outlook and, they went a way. No matter what you have to keep hope alive which we both know is easier said than done in this condition but even a glimmer of hope can save you when you need it most. Like I said I'm not a pro, but I hope this helps you. Best of luck, And always stay hopeful that it can and will get better!!!
 
Childless32 3 years ago
Thank you for sharing your story. I agree,unless someone experiences severe depression it is hard for them to understand. I pray that no one that I know ever does. It is dark & draining.
I'm glad that you found some relief in Wellbutrin. I was unable to take it. It made my anxiety sky high. What I have tried, hasn't touched the depression.
[Edited by Mel on 2018-02-16 17:16:30]
 
Mel 3 years ago
I am also suffering anxiety & depression from last 10 years and taking anti depressant which gives 50% relieve but no cure.
i am a sportsman too.
i am also on abc homeopathy forum from last 1 year and tried so many homeopathic med with experts advise but no cured.
now i think Dr.simon717 is 100% right that the problem what we are suffering require a expert homeopath who can give us a full time to explore the problem and treat accordingly.
after reading dr.simone 717 suggestion i have contacted dr. david jhonson and i really appreciate his prompt replies and we have decided all the terms & conditions of consultancy fees and the first 2 hours consultation on skype has planned this week.
thanks dr.simon717 for such a valuable advises from your side. i will remain thankful to you and will update u too about my health after get treated by dr. david jhonson.
take care.
 
saml 3 years ago
Dear Sami,

I am very interested to see how your treatment goes with David Johnson.
I have read his cases, articles on other sites and he and dr,leela D'Souza work from the same site, although she is based in India and has extra certification on homeopathy
Emergency medicine and heart health.

These are dedicated professionals
, please let us all know your progress.
 
simone717 3 years ago
Dear Saml,
I believe that Simone717 has given good advice. I have been in touch with two of the experts who were recommended. Both have seemed very willing to work with my more complicated case. I was very thankful. Unlike you, I won't be able to begin this week.
I pray that things will go well for you and that you will find healing under Dr. Johnson's care.
Keep us posted.
 
Mel 3 years ago

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Information given in this forum is given by way of exchange of views only, and those views are not necessarily those of ABC Homeopathy. It is not to be treated as a medical diagnosis or prescription, and should not be used as a substitute for a consultation with a qualified homeopath or physician. It is possible that advice given here may be dangerous, and you should make your own checks that it is safe. If symptoms persist, seek professional medical attention. Bear in mind that even minor symptoms can be a sign of a more serious underlying condition, and a timely diagnosis by your doctor could save your life.