I have severe depression.
I don’t know how to be free of it.
I just can’t stop thinking about past and future.
If one thought goes away, other comes in automatically. It is making me crazy. I feel so lost.
I was on allopathic medicine for some time, which helped me stop these thoughts. Now I have stopped taking it.
I get suicidal thoughts. I cry a lot too.
Please if any doctor could help me.
I would appreciate it.
Orgearpaurd on 2017-07-09
♡ akshaymohl 3 years ago
Thank you very much for your reply.
My dad passed away when I was six, he had cancr about which he did not tell my mom.
My brother passed away when I was eight.
My mom remarried and came to Canada but my step dad was abusive towards her, they divorced.
I had a bf who wanted to marry me to come to Canada. I broke up with him years ago. He was also verbally abusive to me just like my step father.
I am 34 years old, single woman. I have no desire to marry.
My mom lives with me.
My mom is always worried about my future. On the other hand, I am always worried about my mom.
She worries what is going to happen to me when she ....I think the same if I die then how will she survive.
People back home (in India) have always taken advantage of my mom's kind nature.
I get nightmares that people who were not nice to us in India are doing bad things to us.
I don't have any bad habits. I don't smoke , drink or club. I do drink diet coke, sometimes 2-3 cans a day. It makes me feel relax.
I don't have friends here , people want to become my friends but I do not desire them.
I have joined some social groups. When I feel like, I go for movies or hobbies but I don't want people to know me after the meetup is over.
I do have school friends from India connected to me via facebook.
I always try to avoid strangers, I feel that they are judging me or they are going to harm me.
I do not like when people are rude to others or my mom, sometimes when I see bad happening to an innocent person, I would stand for them even If I don't know them.
I eat home cooked food. If I eat outside a lot , I feel sick.
Sometimes, I get constipated but now a days I am okay.
My behaviour with family and friends is okay. They don't know me anymore because it has been 8 years I have been to India. We talk through facebook or whatsapp.
I have always had depression/anxiety I think.
It was like this in India too but I was too young to know what was happening. Grand mother would just give me some lemonade to relax.
I would cry for hours, my heart beat would be very fast.
I would get easily attach to friends or my bf. It would be hard to leave or break up with them.
Then I started taking cipralex which would help me to stop these thoughts , emotions and crying. When I was on this medication , I didn't cry for two years. I was strong and happy.
But I think I was having side effects of this medicine so I stopped it.
Now the depression is back, these thoughts, anger, crying, anxiety, can't sleep at night.
I just want all these negative thoughts to stop.
If you could help me, I would really appreciate it.
Thanks a lot
Orgearpaurd 3 years ago
♡ akshaymohl 3 years ago
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