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Friendship and Depression

I can't decide what comes first, low-self-esteem that makes me think people don't like me. I think I'm pretty realistic and the reasons I think people don't like me seem well founded. But can it be depression that makes me see this more than it really is? Anyone experience something like this?
  2blu4U on 2006-06-24
This is just a forum. Assume posts are not from medical professionals.
sure i have experienced such--reasoning wont solve the experience -the sensing of this (lack of better word) wrongness....the real of it is we experience and would /seek to relief from such...but this wont happen til underlying ill is addressed---our inner state --is represented by outer thinkings-envirement-sensings--...i.e...all that is experiential to us....all based on the innerstate that exist at that time--or at at this time...response proper treatment/stimuli in proper form gives rise to nw state -- a new state give rise to new experience---nothing excluded..wholy experienc--this why partial treatment not move or stimlate to more removed state of being...

a good test of this is puting ourselves in situations that encourage this feeling--of low self estemm and such..or whatevr case may be..ake note of sensings/feelings/...tc before the encounter;during the encounter; and after...the after state must be in total oposition to the during stae though--or circumstances envolved---a beterment is experiencd after..this homoeopathic by nature...but most avoid theri hang ups --or more like avoid situations which their hang ups become obvious to them...this is antipathic by nature.....

since free will is big pat of this process--few will go into willingly--so ill takes form that individual 'wil' handle...i find it better to keep ill to the front...and approach from that stand point....
John Stanton last decade
clarifying the after state---it would be better said--to place oneself in envirement that is in total opposition to envirement that encourages the low self estemm and such...the more extreme the scens--the more comfort after--IF individula can handle such--without complication of symptoms--much to be said on this...
John Stanton last decade
Thanks John, for your insight. I was able to realize after a good cry that it was probably my perception, and it's askew today. This is the attitude change I mentioned. I was never able to turn things around before, I continued to wallow in self-pity. But I can climb out of the dark pit now.
Thanks; 2blu4u
2blu4U last decade
yeah- i been there..

crying --you better after good cry? or only make worse?
John Stanton last decade
dear dear if any body dont like me i dont give xxxx. so 4 u if u want to live dont give xxxx to any thing
princeofnoland last decade
Why focus upon people? Who cares.
girilal last decade
Dont worry. I used to tie myself up in knots about not being liked, but then it occured to me that the people I was worrying about were not really worth being friends with. Look inside yourself and find the answers. I am a silica type and they are refined and artistic, they are slightly above the rest, that is why the rest dont understand, and they I attuned myself and found my path, and now my artistic talents are coming out. Don't waste your time with people of shallow interests, find yourself and find your meaning.
saltOftheEarth last decade
Thank you for your responses. I was in such a state this morning that I didn't even type my message properly. But you've understood and helped me see that I shouldn't focus on what others think. I know better, but convincing the negative fog sometimes, is difficult.
Thanks ~ 2blu4u
2blu4U last decade
Sometimes it's ok to experience moments of depression. God gave us depression for a purpose. It makes us see things we wouldn't normally see or notice or even bother us.

Be sure you stay in that window of depression only long enough to peek in and decide what course of action you have to take. Then move on. Focusing too much on what other people think is a waste of your life. If someone doesn't like you, there is nothing you can do to change them. If you try, you'll just dig yourself into a hole. Take a remedy or something to help you move on and ignore whoever doesn't like you.

As someone else mentioned, if you're a refined sort of person, there will always be a BUNCH of people who will not like you, but they may not dislike you either. With determination, you can easily ignore them.
Pat2006 last decade
What Pat said is right, some people may not like you, or me, but it doesn't mean they dislike you, I had a hard time trying to understand that at first, I thought people disliked me all over the place, and it just didn't make sense, and I spent a lot of time anxious over this, but then I read and read, I knew I was a nice person, but what was wrong? The thing is some like needlework and reading, and some like chasing men and drinking, some like to smell flowers and some don't even see them, that is the difference, that is when I understood that I have to choose certain groups to socialize with. I don't have an ego about it, I just understand myself better.
saltOftheEarth last decade
well that is the intention of homoeopathic treatment..or any real curing system---stimuli the inner state and rest follows suit--to point of which envirement one finds themselves---choices are result of inner staet--this point missed often...why such mental struggle to gain control or obtain things contrary to inner state----
John Stanton last decade
That's too true, Salty. I think I have a fear that being 'me', will offend people. And why should that bother me? I'm not sure. I rememmber being that way at 6 years of age. If a playmate threatened to leave, I would beg them not to. I'm a little ass-backward, if someone offers friendship too easily, I run, don't trust. If I have to work at it, then it seems right. And I am tired of 'working' at it. Since I have had counciling up the ying-yang, I might give hypnotherapy a try.
2blu4U last decade

have you considered starting a new thread and calling it something like: WANTED REMEDY FOR DEPRESSION

cause this threads sounds more like you're looking for someone to talk to.

Homeopathy will help you feel in better spirits.
Pat2006 last decade
i feel there is no friendship in anybody i find unless they are also a depressed person. i wish different. i want different
manicmoon last decade
Hi Manicmoon;

I noticed that too. I think it's based on the principle, 'Like attracts like'. In making new friends, it eventually came about that they were taking anti-depressants, like I was. I certainly didn't hold it against them, I was taking them at the time as well. I haven't had to take anti-depressants for 2 years now and now that I think of it, there are less, 'depressed' people in my life. But back to my past, when I thought about attracting a 'mentally healthy' person for a friend, my thought was, why would a 'mentally healthy' want to hook up with a depressed person? There would be differences such as being able to be spontaneous. For example; they want to go out for the evening, but you may have a hard time leaving your house without being well prepared. Fear.
Now I know that even than thinking is askew. Not accurate. It's judgmental as well.
I'm striving constantly to love and respect myself, afterall, why should anyone else do that if we don't do that for ourselves?
I'll be back with some book recommendations and such that have helped me, but I just wanted to respond to Manicmoon to let you know I understood.

Bright Blessings;
2blu4U last decade

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