chronic depression?

2. Age: 47
3. Sex: Female
4. Unmarried/Divorced
5. weight: 190 lbs
6. Height: 5 feet, 4 inches
7. country: USA
8. climate: seasonal - hot in summer up to 90 degrees plus - cold in winter can get well below freezing, but most of the time is fairly moderate
9. List of your complain first 1. 2.. 3 ……Tired, overweight, thinning hair, weak/splitting nails especially the ring fingers, mild skin breakout (has ever since the age of 11) acid reflux, feet/ankles/hands swell frequently, especially during hot weather, had first child at age 23, 2nd child at age 37. had mononucleosis at age 25, need glasses to read, cholesterol is 249, triglyceride is 155, HDL is 54, LDL is 164, Blood sugar is 83, TSH is 2.2, a couple of years ago developed an allergy to beef after trying vegetarianism for 8 months(grew up on a farm, always ate beef), break out in severe case of hives even if I eat something cooked with the beef like potatoes, I developed a pain in the middle(level with the v the ribs make above the stomach) of my back at 25(was under severe emotional distress), x-rays showed nothing wrong, it will spasm from time to time...a doctor once used some nerve stimulator on it and I started crying for no reason and couldn’t stop which still happens sometimes when I go to a chiropractor for an adjustment and I’m put on one of those machines that rolls up and down the spine, I’ll just start crying (actually now that I think about it, I wish I had listed the back pain first, it’s just another thing that I’ve gotten used to over the years) I had outpatient surgery to remove uterine polyps several years ago with no complications since. Have a tendency to stay up way too late...even when I’m tired and know I should go to bed. Get very emotional if I hear about any child or animal suffering or being mistreated.
10. non Diabetic
11. Desire sweets/sour/salt: It varies...tend to favor salty and sour foods but there are days I definitely want something sweet especially after a spicy meal.
12. Thirst: I don’t have much of a thirst unless it’s hot out. I don’t drink the amount recommended...I will do it for a while then get out of the habit
13. Tongue: thin white coating with a crack down the center to tip
14. Current BP (without medicine- 130/75)
15. What exactly is happening ? I’m not sure what to put here, I covered most of it in #9.
16. How do you feel ? Low energy/lethargic for years with spurts of energy/inspiration every so often, throw in a little anxiety and anger at having let myself get this way.
17. How does this affect you ? Not sure any more, have dealt with it for so long it seems normal. I manage to take care of my family, but I don’t get as many things done in a day as I would like. It’s very depressing...But I try not to dwell on it too much and just do what I can
18. How does it feel like ? It feels like I’m going in slow motion, or struggling to climb a mountain of loose pebbles, fighting feelings of being overwhelmed and inept.
19. What comes to your mind ? Not sure what to put here either
20. One situation that had a big effect on you ? Will have to answer this in an email to whoever responds to my inquiry
21. How did that feel like ? Complete devastation, trapped, hopeless
22. What sensation do you experience in that situation ? Sinking feeling in stomach and constriction of chest,
23. What are you showing by that gesture of your hand.(habits or Action) ? Habits
24. current medicine you are taking none....did take ignatia several years back, have more recently ( 2-3 months ago) taken sepia
25. family back ground: mother had 4-way heart bypass surgery(fits everything I’ve read about bi-polar disorder(I remember years ago her saying that a doctor told her she was manic-depressive, but she now denies it), sister suffers from depression, maternal grandmother had congestive heart failure, paternal grandmother lived to 94 had stroke 6 months before dying, father has acid reflux, enlarged prostate, otherwise is in perfect health at 76
26. qualification of patient: sorry, don’t know what this means
27. Nature of working costumer service/homemaker
28. desire and aversion of food: I like most foods with no strong aversions to anything except that I am allergic to beef as mentioned before...beginning to suspect allergy to dairy products, get upset stomach then loose stools.
29. Mind-behavior, anger, irritability, hurry, impatient…and so.. on and how you are peculiar from other person, public speaking or not , you can describe all the detail about behavior, love and affection. Any confidential and private matter to be discuss by email.

I like to think of myself as fairly easy going, tolerant and patient for the most part. I used to be fairly outgoing and wanted to go to every party I could. My parents said I didn’t know a stranger when I was little. I love music and I used to dance on the coffee table till I got to big for it. I can speak in public although I most certainly deal with a little anxiety before doing so. I am very affectionate. I enjoy art, and have a lot of color in my home. I want it to be a cheerful and relaxed place. I realized now that I suffered from depression while in high school, I was anorexic, bulemic for a while. I was able to break the cycle but the underlying cause wasn’t addressed and I think it just manifested itself in other ways through the years, chronic depression being the main one. Weight gain resulted which led to more depression. I could lose weight up to a point then deliberately sabotage any success I had(still want to lose weight, but have almost given up on being able to). I took an antidepressant for 2 weeks a few years ago when I was at my worst. Medicine wasn’t a big thing in our family so I stopped taking it after it took the edge off. Since then it’s been a slow climb up. I have dealt with a lot of internal anger, which is getting better little by little. But there is still this nagging lethargy that just won’t go away. It’s hard to explain, but I have a very strong desire to create a positive, lively, purposeful, and cheerful life for me and my sons, and yet I have this tiring mental block. I tend to be a perfectionist, yet have a paper monster growing in my office. I can’t seem to complete projects, although I can start half a dozen in no time. My office is almost finished but I’m still working around boxes that could have been emptied weeks ago. My kitchen is almost finished but I have wall art that is all drawn out but needs to be painted. Half the ceiling in the living room needs to be finished, my bedroom needs curtain rods...I could go on, but I think anyone who reads this would get the point. I procrastinate even doing things I enjoy doing. I can’t figure that out. But I do my best at keeping my sense of humor intact. I never want to lose that! The rest of the story will have to be in an email because of its personal nature.
30. Aggravation (increases-time, season,)& Amelioration (Decreases) Not sure, except I do feel better when it’s sunny out and I’m working outside.