acute depression - help!!!1.Describe your main suffering?
- strong feeling that i should not live , because I am not worth anything. I can't handle any stress situations,because I have have not resistance against the stress.
Usually I give up all my plans and projects and have black thoughts during that depression.
2. What other physical sufferings do you have in your body?
- feeling dizzy, dizziness and chaos in my head cause that I am not able to drive my car, can't fall asleep, wake up tired and wondering why I am living , why still alive, can't eat (only drink a lot of coffee), have havy headshakes and heandshakes while getting worse in my depression, very often diarrhea (loose stools), loose of weight, abdominal pain.
3. What mental sufferings / feelings do you have associated with your physical sufferings?
- chronically depression, can't find peace, happiness.
I hate myself and occure myself for beeing just a looser.
I feel stressed, have bad thoughts.
I can't remember, can't talk ,think calmly.
I consider myself a a sponger, nobody, total zero.
4. What exactly do you feel when you are at your worst?
- Frustration, weekness, no reason to live, anger to myself.I can't concentrate, can't gather my thoughts, can't remember, have a big chaos, stress,problems with my psyche.
My first thought is 'why do I live' ' I am nobody, I can't handle any simple situations,have feeling that any other person without elementary education can handle it much better.
5. When did it all start? Can you connect it to any past event or disease?
- in the time when I was a student of University. I was very ammbitious, always the best and most intelligent.
But than on the University I got to know more people beeing even more intelligent, having better possibilities than me, beeing mentally stronger than me and they could handle any problems...and I was just week, scared of live.
I started to have complexes and bad thoughts about myself. I saw myself as a stupid, helpless, week.
I was no more good enought , no more strong, I had a panic attacs before any exam, because I wanted still be one of the best , but knew I am just nobody...
So I started to see myself beeing just a looser.
I had a very deep depression , was mentally ill, took a prescribed medication. It helped to get rid of the worse symptoms like shaking head and worry.
6. Which time of the day you are worst?
- mornings and nighttime (beeing tire)
7. What are the things which aggravate your suffering and which are those which ameliorate the same?
- stress and a routine days aggrevates everything ...I feel no sense to live.
Meeting good and polite people lets me to belive that there are some good things in life, that someone thinks I am worth of something.
8. Do your think your sufferings have relation to any external stimuli (like, change of place) or any internal biological changes in the body, like, menses (in females)?
- facing up just a routine life where I can't realize myself is the problem.I can't accept that I am just nobody, not able to be somebody I would like to be.
9. When do you feel better, during hot weather or cold weather, humid or dry weather?
-no weather influences, it is a chroinic mental pain
10. Describe your general mental set up? Are you Moody, Arrogant, Mild, Agreeable Changeable, Nervous, Suspicious, Easily offended, Quiet, Arguing, Irritating, Lazy etc.
**** very ambitious like no one I know, getting not peace, very strict to myself, demanding a lot from o.s., like to be the best, love to read a lot,like to be admired for my super abilities, easily offended, belive in people, organized,
- How do you feel before or during a thunderstorm?
- Do you like being consoled during your tough times?
* hate it, but sometimes I need it
- Are you sensitive to external stimuli like smell, noise, light etc?
* noise makes me more nervous and irritated
- Do you have any typical habit or gesture like nail biting, causeless
weeping, talking to one self etc?
* nail biting when nervous
- How do you feel about your friends, family, your children and especially your husband / wife?
* I thing they are ok, but my father is a nobody, he just is a looser and I am just like him.( I inherited his bad feature,like fear, helplessness - it runs in a family)
11. What are your fears and do you dream of any situation repeatedly?
- fear: will be a nobody,inactive, idle, wasting his time, sitting and eating like my father.
*dream: I dream to travel the whole world and get to know all cultures.
12. What do you crave for in food items and what are your aversions?
-crave: fish, vegetable, healthy oils, coffee,
*hate: to eat too much like my father
13. How is your thirst: Less, Normal or Excessive?
14. How if your hunger: Less, Normal or Excessive?
-try not to eat as much as I want to be slim.But hunger normal.
15. Is there any kind of food which your body cant stand?
- sometimes a get a rash from food, don't know which kind of food is causing it.
16. Is your sweat normal or less or more? Where does it sweat more: Head, Trunk or Limbs?
17. How is your bowel movement and stool type?
- very often diarrhea , loose stool.(because I have this stress and depression)
18. How well do you sleep? Do you have a particular posture of sleeping?
- sleep on one side, stressed sleep, can't fall aspleap, wake up nervous, tired. Not sleep much (5-6 hours at least)
19. Do you think you are able to satisfy your sexual desires in general?
- so far yes.
20. How do you think you are different from others, if at all?
- I am too much ambitious, I want too much to change, I see too much bad in people which I resemble, I can't accept some attitudes, some habits of my parents, thinking I am going to do the same in 20 years.
I hate to be nobody.
21. What medications have been taken earlier by you to treat the diseases and do you have any particular symptom surfacing after the medication?
-I took a prescribed medication and I am taking now again something, but it doesn't seem to work for bad my thoughts and deppressed head.
22. What major diseases are running in your family?
mother: severe depression and fear of poverty, asthma
father: severe heart attacs
23. Describe, how do you look like? Describe your overall appearance.
- slim, wide hips, slim legs and arms, oval face.
german on 2006-10-11
It seems that your depression started when you realized at the University that there are more intelligent people around and as a result your hopes of becoming the best cannot be fulfilled.Correct?
But then have you been trying your very best or you gave up very easily.Generally how would you describe yourself?A lazy person or a hardworking one.If i were to give you some work which is challenging and of critical importance to the organization, how would you respond to it?What happens when you make a mistake? What happens if a duty assigned to you is not fulfilled properly by you?
♡ rajivprasad last decade
My big problem is, that I want to the best or just to be seen by myself or others as a success person and usually my own lack of self-confidence and peace and belive on my own possibilities has a negative influence on my live.
Having not enough self esteem I can't belive in myself, in my power and inpact. I relay on opinion others as to confirm I am worth something. But people are not willing to tell you that you are good, because they usuallly envy or want to smash you seeing life as an rat-race.
Being with such competitive people makes me feel worse, nobody want to be honestly friendly...everywhere is an trap.
I just loose my self-confidence and looose faith in people, in myself finding out that I am not traeted the way I would like to.
I guess that I was born with a little self-esteem and loss of self-confidence.
I always wait for someones else opinion about myself, about my work and my talent as if I could'n relay on my own feeling about me.
I know I try my best, but than suddenly others don't see my effords and make me feel worthless and without their confidence in me make me give up.
I usually need somebody's protection and someone to admire me a little for something special I did.
Additionally meeting people good or better than me mekes me feel unsecure...because I originally fell unsecure, axious , scared about life,future, scared of pooverness, that I will end up as nobody, a boom.
I live with a chroionic ANXIETY, FEAR, restlessnes, that I will fail, but I really want to do my best...
And the anxiety makes me feel I am hopeless and weak.
I I would make a fatal mistake I would just with a time accept it as long as I would not feel anxiety and fear, that others can critisize it and change their opinion about me,start treat me as a looser.
So the anxiety mekes me feel that I am already a looser.
I wake up with a thougt : I am a looser, I should not live, because people like me are not worth to live.
I'm very dependable of opinion others.I get in panic very quockly if I see, that i can't be good enough, which means not that I am not good really, but anyhow there is nobody to tell me I am doing goood, to protect me and help belive I am doing my best.
If other people, which are my boss or important to me don't belive in me and don't show interest in me than I loose my self-esteem , I treat myself as a looser.
It always starts with anxiety, fear, than it ends in a misery, that I am a looser, though I still try to do my best.
So that's how does it work:
1. FIRST comes -anxiety, fear, restlessness,that maybe I will not fullfill my duty as good as people expect.I am trying always my best but parallell appears a big fear of failure, which makes me weak, stressed, getting in panic, hopelessness.
Very big fear of failure.
I am scared, that nobody is gonna see me as a success women, which I want to be at any prize. Very little self-esteem while beeing in stress to proove my abilities.
2. Than next comes insomnia, worry that I want to be really exellent but my lack of peace, not beliving in myself is only aggravating my depression and making me weaker.
2 - At this point I am so stressed and anxious that I can't concentra, can't remember , have very hard time with my psyche, dizziness, breathing problems, want to cry i call for help .
At this point am close to give up imagining that everybody left me behind. I am seeing myself as the worst , treating myself as nobody, because I am no more like I used to be or want to be: strong, aggressiv, ambitious.
Always wanted to be one of the best.And seeing my bad shape I'm additionally scared that someone important to me can see me so weak and I will not see in my a success women.
3 Next comes isolation from people, hiding from succsess people.
In this state of misery I am crying why god let me come to this world, where I am nobody and I hate to live like a worm, passive, feeling worthless...
And still ANXIETY, can't concentrate on what I do, because lack of peace and self-esteem is throwing me from place to place.
I am crying and getting ready to die, but scared to commit suicide, so I wait untill I die in sleep.
I feel very sick ,helpless like in agony.
Want to be a child again close to warmt of mother, grandparents, peace.
I feel so helpless...
german last decade
I don't know how I could be proud of myself, or just accepting myself, because the FEAR , ANXITY and LACK Of PEACE are making me crazy , don't let sleep, eat.
german last decade
I am sure you have some other name.How nice would it be to have your real name.
Any way let me tell you that have peace.You will be alright.Let me summarize what i understood about you.
You are saying that you feel that you and your performance are generally neglected by people, which makes you sad.You would really be very happy if they appreciated you all or most of the time.You crave the good opinion of others.At the university you met very competitive people who were not giving you the due appreciation and that coupled with the fact that you could not prove yourself to be the best there has made you very sad, and perhaps pushed you in this depression.Correct? Else tell me if i am wrong.
If you could stop depending upon other people's opinion for your self esteem, it will be a great relief to you.You really want to shine and be the best in the eyes of everyone.You want people to acknowledge that you are the best.Good performance alone is not enough.Being praised and admired is also important to be happy.Again correct me if i am wrong.
♡ rajivprasad last decade
yes, You are wright about my person -that's wright what You said: It would be a graet relief to me to stop rely on somebodys opinion about me.
I could really stand everything if I could find my own peace and get rid of constant anxiety of new situations...
I know that something is running in my family,
my grandmother for exemple had for years fear of going out of her house (fear, anxiety of thieves waiting outside)
My mother is for a long time taking prescribed nerves-medicine.
My mother's sister commited suicide being at age 23. She was very ambicious nad after failure in the school she did it.
When I look at myself I don't know why I see herself before she did it.
Maybe I'm kind of oversensitiv about myself, but I ask for some remedy because I am scared that if I will not help myself my state of anxiety and fear of failure will push me to do something like that.
But I know that it would be very bad to end up like that.
german last decade
I suggest that you get Palladium in the LM1 and LM2 potencies.Once you get the medicine, take one pill from the LM1 bottle and let it dissolve in 500-600 ml of clean water.Spring water or distilled water or bottled clean branded water is better.
Then before each time you have to take the remedy, shake the remedy solution bottle 8 times very hard by banging the bottle against your palm.Then from this remedy solution take one teaspoonful (5 ml) and add it to a cup of water.Stir it 10 times with the spoon.Then from this first cup, take a teaspoonful of the solution and add to a second cup full of water and again stir it 10 times.Repeat this process till you reach the 6th cup.From this 6th cup, after stirring the solution 10 times, take a teaspoonful.That is one dose.Take one dose of a teaspoonful in the same manner everyday from the 6th cup.Everyday make a fresh solution in the cups.
Report to me after a week.I hope you understood the process of making the remedy solution.
♡ rajivprasad last decade
But what should I do with the rest of wather, which I will not use (from previous cups) and which contains the dissolved medicine ?
I mean what to do whith the solutions from cups 1-5?
Because the sixth I will use, but should I throw out the others?
german last decade
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