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complex problem of mind

Hi,

Can anyone please have a look at my symptoms and suggest a remedy?


Profile:
Female 28, no kids., single
Main complaints:
-acne – skin looks like a sand paper from it

-extreme sensitivity – absorb everything very quickly, therefore moody, irritable if disturbed, frustrated. Problems to name, express and formulate my negative feelings. /my mum is the same/I just feel something is wrong with me, but I have no idea what, than I am very angry and frustrated and I wanna get away from it all./ my escapes repeat themselves regularly – lots of travelling, changing life completely 4 times in my life…, often as a result that frustration I am not able to cope with.

-Negativism, passive nature. I feel I have no power over my life as I am very indecisive, I always think that it is a wrong decision I make and I will regret it later on, so I don’t do anything and just wait and suffer. Eventually that frustration surfaces and it literally make me decide. / mostly escape again/
I don’t trust myself, I think I cant make a competent decision, because I don’t know if I am right or wrong. My life is full of doubts, doubts, doubts….
I also feel very guilty for many things that happened in my life and other peoples life as well. I have very vivid imagination, almost paranoia that there is something going on I know nothing about – like people secretly backstab me, hate me, laugh at me, humiliate me… My worst fear is being rejected, turned down… even little thinks hurt me.

-I have always been a perfectionist, with sense of duty, always one of the best in class… I suffer a lot when I cant perform at my best, my self confidence is very up and down / mostly down/ depending how I do on every day tasks and as well how much praise and affection I get for it. When under pressure I seem very panicky, hasty movements, forget things…Every criticism is killing me inside, it turns me into a nerve wreck. I dread new things, new people – for this fear of not measuring up and not succeeding and being critised. Insecurity is also a big issue for me. I am always worried, that I cant deal with situations and people emotionally.I am scared of embarrassing myself, looking like a fool.
I need to be in control of situation, otherwise i am lost.

- Communication problems – I have had this inferiority problem since I was a kid, when communicating with other people, even friends I always analyse what say, mostly afterwards. Feeling uneasy when talking to other people, being scared of being laughed at, humiliated, questioned, watched….But mostly laughed at, I get aggressive afterwards. Always when I have no self confidence and feel insecure I behave sort of childishly. I always think, why would people want to talk to me? Every chat for me is like little emotional storm inside. I hate conflicts as well.

-Depression /very low self confidence, self esteem – I look at the world through some dark window. I could never imagine my future, and if I could it looked always black, scared of future. Nothing has a meaning, I don’t matter. My self-esteem is very low. In love I always go for guys who are very emotional, very warm-hearted, but somehow inferior to me / status, age…/ Then, I of course get more confident through them and consequently they dont measure up and i end up feeling frustrated. Scared of equal relationship.
My boyfriend also says I don’t allow myself to experience joy, have no hobbies, always worries. Friends say that I have always something to complain about. I cant really relax with people, e.g, if everyone sings at a party, I would, I cant. I feel stiff, disconnected with world, with feelings….
- I am dissatisfied with everything, always see the bad things. Life is meaningless, boring, I feel I cant be bothered to do things to improve it…I can be quite lethargic, sentimental…

-I can also get completely wrapped up in one subject and spend hours doing it or thinking about it, going into great details…

-Diminished sexual desire – last few years. I could get out of my last relationship; it took me a year to make a decision to break up with my then boyfriend, so I had sexual relationship, even though I didn’t want it. Then I developed this disgust towards sex.


Childhood
-childhood – /I was brought up in the central Europe, currently living in Australia/ as a kid, I was always timid, playing on my own, creative kid, no need of other kids company. Mum had to force me go out, but once I made some friends, I was ok, than I didn’t want to go home. Two extremes. I felt very insecure. Teased by other kids.I always wanted to prove that I am worth loving, I am clever and I can do it. Because my father always criticized me and laughed at me / very sensitive when being laughed at/, never appreciated what I did. He wanted me to be a strong girl. My mother, even though she never neglected me, she loved me, she was and still is quite cold, aloof person. She successfully ignored all my and other members of my familys emotions and spiritual needs. As if it doesn’t existed, it bothered us and made our lives more difficult. So it was overlooked.

-We are quite different, while I am emotional, complicated and abstractly thinking person, she is very practical and simple person. She never understood me. This was a great source of disappointment in my life./lots of depression and crying in my teenage years/ Therefore I had to become very emotionally independent from family. This makes you feel independent and proud, but also very lonely. But still she is the only person I rely on.

-As a teenager I had a kind of a nervous breakdown / break up with my first love/, then one year psychotherapy / mostly revolving around the lack of love and encouragement I got from my parents, my dependency on anyone who provides me with this…/
-I desperately wanted to stand out, be different just to be accepted /paradoxically/



Hates: I hate being consoled and comforted, I hate cold, sensitive to loud speaking, hate being at home all day, then very moody, depressed, hate being bored, violent behaviour, conflicts, shouting…
Loves: I love music, dance, dogs, animals, sympathy with old people, people who suffer. i like being on my own, but i love a good company, when i am on my good level of selfconfidence.
Physical complaints: red maps on chest and face when emotional and after alcohol /almost always when talking to people/, short-sightness,
Apetite: average, in the past I suffered excessive compulsive eating, but fortunately it somehow went away during my homeopathic treatment.
Aversions: fatty meats, milk, I hardly ever feel thirsty, If, then I drink cold drinks, very little sips
Sleep: no problems
Menses: first day painful, big mood swings 2-3 days before-very irritable, depressed
Not often sick, if, mainly after mental/physical exhaustion
10 years ago treated for Seasonal Effective Disorder /sensitivity to weather changes/– very sucessful

I have always been perceived as lovely, bright but cold, aloof, not personal with no need for company, very capable and successful.
Sometimes I think there are kind of two people inside of me. One – that timid, sad, no self - confidence, fearful, moody and irritable person. And the other one, when my self confidence is on the right level and I am fine. hen everything is so easy…
It just depends on my self confidence and self esteem. When low I suffer all above. If high, mostly no problems. Everything seems to come down to my oversensitive nature.
I seem to be a person of extremes.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t give in to these problems, I fight them every day, with some success, but it’s a challenge for me.
People don’t know me like this because in years you develop some cover up system.

I have been through several homeopathic remedies, but unfortunately, none of them helped in the long run.
I was advised to take Sepia 30C, then Pulsatilla 30C / improvement , but only for a few days, but it was a great relief…/, 200C and Lycopodium 30C , Argentum Nitricum 30C /no reaction/.
I hope I didn’t put you off by such a long mail.
Any response apprecciated
Thanks

Silvia
 
  silvia153 on 2004-10-22
This is just a forum. Assume posts are not from medical professionals.
Hello Silvia,
Thank you for your post.
Problems of the mind are very bad for self-treatment with homeopathy-as you probably know selecting the right remedy is only a half of the treatment-the other half is case management by unprejudiced observer- it is quite impossible to watch one's own mind and detect changes==be unprejudiced (the only good thing is that anonymity of such places makes people open up and "pour their souls out"-not everyone can do that when talking to homeopath). The remedies you were using:were you under homeopathic care? Are you still? Pulsatilla 30 had good effect-after what time? Please write more. 200c had no effect?
I know a homeopath in Australia-maybe she knows someone near you-would you like that?if yes,Where do you llive?
 
Astra2012 last decade
I guess you do not like winter, right? Is there any special time of the day or weather you really like or hate?
What angers you the most?
Do you have any fears (like of darkness, death etc)?
 
Astra2012 last decade
what wasa the exact treatmnet used concerning ".. Seasonal Effective Disorder ..." ?
 
John Stanton last decade
My treatment was partly under homeopath supervision, but it was via phone with my homeopath in Europe. /the one who treated SAD, years ago/I just guess it wasnt the right thing to do as mysymptoms changed since my SAD problem. I live in Sydney.

Pulsatilla, both potencies had an effect -for 5-6 days. first very irritated, angry, very vocal about everything, rebellious. then i calmed down, it was such a relief, i felt very happy, confident... then it suddenly finished.

yes you are right , i hate winter, i dont like cold, storms, wind...
I am partly scared of darkness, as i have always had this idea that i will be murdered in dark one day. but its just my vivid imagination i guess...
i am scared of spiders as well.

SAD- every rime before change of weather i felt it - meaning when there was a storm to come i felt very depressed, almost suicidial, nervous, pacing up and down the room. very, very tense. the immidiate relief came with the storm...then it went away . it was very bad, i completely changed ... the good weather - very positive mood, very confident, smiling..


I forgot to mention in my charact., that I have always been very rebellious / often only in my mind/, against tradition, old patterns, do everything else but what people expect me to do...

thanks everyone
silvia
 
silvia153 last decade
Hello Silvia,
both 30 and 200 (of puls of course) acted in the same way?
 
Astra2012 last decade
Since when you have acne? What happened in your life at that time?
 
Astra2012 last decade
I have had acne since my teenage years /16-17/like everyone and it just did not disappear since. only contraception helps, but being on the contraception for the rest of my life...i dont know...

i forgot to mention that i am also very scared of sufocating, drowning, shortly all situation i cant breathe for a second. i cant sleep in the total dark i have panic attacks in sleep, finding myself screaming,panicking, not being able to breathe, searching for light or fresh air.

Pulsatilla, 30- very aggravated, then relief. 200 - nothing much happened, only aggravation, no improvement

thanks
silvia
 
silvia153 last decade
Hello Silvia
I believe your remedy is ARSENICUM ALBUM. Take one dose only of 30c and please report (after a week you may know) any response or its lack.
Please do not use other medicines anew (I mean-if you used contraceptives before and now-just continue but e.g. some cortisol ointment you never used before-please don't). The same is true with other "medicinal" things like cooffee or tea or wine etc.
 
Astra2012 last decade
Please read:coffee doesn't antidote in all cases"
Also, I hope you know that it is important not to take the remedy after/before eating.
I'd say 1-2 hrs-depending on what. The point is in having your vital energies available and not busy digesting your food.
Please ask if you have any questions.
 
Astra2012 last decade
I would like you to take a few doses of Ignitia 200 first...

Meanwhile, pl. tell me...do you often have coughs and colds, do you get angry and then lock yourself up in a room for hours from others so that there is no communication, do you like taking very cold drinks,does your family have a history of TB by any chance ???

In cough and cold ...lots of chest symptoms???

Best,
Pankaj Varma
 
PANKAJ VARMA last decade
Hello Pankaj,
Why Ignatia? It never showed in my analysis. The runner up was phosphorus which also covered Silvia's symptoms (it was also more sympathetic than arsenicum but less a perfectionist). but never Ignatia. Why do you think it should be tried first?
 
Astra2012 last decade
astra---no concern for ignatia---arsenic better choice but better you reevaluate and consider----important characteristics remedy shall have....

(1) > during thunderstorm;, before thunderstorm
(2)HATES consolation--need clarify if just angered--and too what degree--rage---or just irritability---also--evn though hate consolation is she able to be consoled

you figure it out---work with this...
 
John Stanton last decade
< before thunderstorm
 
John Stanton last decade
Astra...you can e-mail me on my id and I will explain.

I am not surprised at your question....I was expecting it from you...in fact I was expecting a more angry response....you have been mild. Thanks

and regards,
Pankaj varma
 
PANKAJ VARMA last decade
pankaj--explain here--we all would very much like to know...but if hush hush,,then must not want patient to read...not too good thinking...
 
John Stanton last decade
Hello everyone,

for Astra: - re.Arsenicum album: Most symptoms match, but I am not tidy, fastidious,cleaning obsessed, anxious about my and other people health and i dont suffer many colds, which are i believe are quite import. char. for Arsenicum.
re.Phosphorus - i read that they look on pleasant side of things, i dont., not many colds or chest problems either. Otherwise symptoms matched very well except for that love of performing in front of others.
About being sympathetic - i am mostly sympathetic towards old people, sick people and animals. Otherwise people say I am quite cold. / towards family, partner, friends.../Also problems expressing positive, loving emotions, feel ashamed ...I know its inside , wants to go out, but feel blocked, stiff...Therefore i feel disconnected with other people, world...Its strange, on one hand I am so preoccupied with my own feelings, and on the other hand i ignore other peoples feelings and needs...

It seems to me I am more Phosp. than Arsen. I dont know...

for John Stanton: reg. consolation - i thought about it, actually i dont mind being consoled, just dont like when people feel sorry for me, which often comes with it.

For Pankaj Varma: not many caughs and colds. Yes you are right, when i get angry i lock myself in the room, no communication. people need to come to me otherwise i will not communicate.As a teenager i used to have anger rages.
I like cold drinks, hardly ever go for hot stuff. As lond as i know , no history of TB in family.
Thank you again
Silvia
 
silvia153 last decade
Silvia !!!

You answered it. My guess was right.

P-H-O-S-P-H-O-R-U-S please.

(A dose or two of Ignitia are still needed as you have some symptoms of emotional disappointment embedded....correct me if I am wrong....Ignitia will pave the way for Phosphorus to work).

best,
Pankaj Varma
 
PANKAJ VARMA last decade
Dear Silvia

If you analyse that way you will have symptoms,which match atleat a dozen remedies,in some particular or the other.

That is why,what is important is to match the totalty,with the image of the medicine.

You can't appreciate the image of the medicine,by having a cursory glance at few materia medicas.It needs lot of study and experience.

So the question is you have to believe somebody.In homeopathy,the starting medicine,may differ from doctor to doctor,and even the best doctors,may not agree on the same medicine.

But,both may be capable of curing you,by using a series of medicines.

The analogy is like this.

Suppose I want to go America,I can travel via dubai,london.and then washington.

The other man may go via colombo,hongkong and washington.

Both will reach America.

So,is the case with homeopathy.The operating word is series of medicines.The first prescription is not the end.It is the beginning of a complicated process.

Hope you understood.

Murthy
 
bandarbabu2000 last decade
Silvia !

Just an investigative exercise.....it can benefit you.....can you go back and check the medical history of your grand parents (all four) and your father's sisters and brothers as well as your mother's sisters and brothers??

A bit of an effort, however will yield results.

best,
Pankaj Varma
 
PANKAJ VARMA last decade
Ok.Let me add my bit.

John is correct in highlighting agg.before thunderstorm.

That is a peculiar symtom,and will have lot of weightage,in choosing your remedy.

You don't need to have all the symptoms given in materia medica, for the medicine to work for you.

If the important symtoms,the generals and modlities match,it can be safely tried.
 
bandarbabu2000 last decade
you will find cancer in family history....as indicated by silvia 's symptomology
 
John Stanton last decade
John !

It has been answered in the discussion following that post.

Best,
Pankaj Varma
 
PANKAJ VARMA last decade
John,
In family history any thing can come up.....lets wait and watch....not jump to advance conclusions.

Maybe something entirely different gets thrown up...which none of us has been able to guess up to now.

Better to ask more questions and seek more answers ...


Best,
Pankaj Varma
 
PANKAJ VARMA last decade
Hello,

For Murthy:
I understand what you are saying, its a complicated process. My boyfriend has been treated for anxiety, not being able to eat and swallow etc. It took his homeopath some time to figure out the right remedies and potencies, it took months to find the right path and get the results. But the results are amazing!!! I agree that just looking at materia medica is not enough, but we need to start somewhere...I know it takes more, its a long journey...


Re; cancer - there was some cancer in the family, but i will find out more about it and other diseases...

Ignatia first, then Phosphorus? How much time apart?

thank you
silvia
 
silvia153 last decade
relax pankaj---you are a bit over protective--reread your postings--become aware of 'how' you are presenting...everthing you have accused me of--you are doing yourself--

""...P-H-O-S-P-H-O-R-U-S ...."

and all the rest--ven entreating patient with ""please""..

pankajj--you need calm and approach fresh---i am no threat---be aware---no slight against your ego---yet you behave very vulnerable-ish...i only write what come sto mind---so no worry ...
 
John Stanton last decade

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