ParanoiaI am very disturbed with paranoia at the moment, I have a history of depression, I was on eefexor venaflaxine 150mg and olanzapine 10mg for three years from 2003 to 2006, I came off very quickly as I felt my mind was becoming very dull, I was unemployed and lost all my personality, I wanted to sort my life out and move on and stop being addicted to anti-depressants and the anti-psyccotics. I decided in Jan 2006 that was that. I came off with no real mental issues, I started getting my personaility back. The sudden;ly in Mar 2006 I had severe stomach pains got taken to hospital they said it was gastritus, gave me some pain killers and ompreizol which seemed to temp cure my problem.
Then in Jun I got a job and started getting my confidence back. I was starting to finally rebuild things before turing 30. The suddenly I started being sick all the time, sometimes 10 times in one day, it was always liquid though, never anything else. I got very worried and started having tests eventually by May 2007 they did an endospicy and found I had H Pyloria, so put me on triple theropy which made me very ill, while I was on it, this didn't work the first time, so they put me on another course, which helped I think. In the meantime I started a relationship and fell in love. But I started finding out my partner had lied to me about a lot of things, I have always been paraniod and this just started my thoughts again, I become highly suspicious all the time and kept discovering things which made me very stressed, which probably did not help my stomach symptoms. My partner is a junior dr with a strong interest in homoepathy.
So he said I should go and see a complementary medicine dr, I did who discovered I had a very bad case of candida in my stomach so gave me a mixture of suppliments and medicines that naturally have cleared it up.
After being put on a sugar free I felt much better. He after a few session until Dec 2007 prescribed me lachsis in a 1m dose to take once on mon night, once tues morn and once tues night.
I think the reason for this was I have a very high sex drive, i talk all the time and feel the need to talk all the time, I am very possessive, obsesstional and jealous. I have a very controlling nature with mild OCD, I have to have everything in its place. I have to do everything quickly and my mind races a lot. I find it very difficult to sleep at night and hate the cold, I cannot sleep if its cold or very hot. I get a lot of cramps in my feet at night and wake up very early and can never sleep once I have woken. I usually survive on 4/5 hours sleep a day and have been getting headaches all the time.
I amso have a very strange symptom which is everytime I lay down to go to bed or wake up I have a lot of itching in my left ear it really troubles me and then I start also shaking my leg and feel very tense the itching can be unbarable in my ear sometimes and causes me to have troubled sleep, but it only itches when I lay down. I also seem to itch all the time when in public especially. Its at its worst on the train or bus, I itch everywhere, my hands, chest, legs, head? I don't understand it, like I am itching now. I have no crabs or scabies my partner check me over, I don't know what it is? I also had a lot of bad scalp problems it seemed like ezcema of psoris, it is worse when I am more stressed.
But what I am writing in this forum about is that I have not seen my dr for a while as I cannot afford it. I had a very bad episode of my paranoia today, I felt everyone was after me and reading my mind or trying to kill me, I was listening and watching everything suspicious of everyone, I feel very disturbed and very on edge like I will have a nervous breakdown.
I have been very moody and also nasty to my partner and really picking at everything done in correctly. I feel I cannot trust anyone.
I have a lot of paranoia concerning the devil and anti christ. I feel like there is either good or evil in the world and get very scared I am homosexual and my parents are very religious so they really made me feel very bad for being this way. So I feel like the anti christ is tatrying to take me and his/her people are trying to get or control me. I think this came in as I watched the film The Omen at a very yong age and it has really stuck in my head.
I don't understand why I feel like everyone is trying to destroy me or kill me or drive me to sucide. I have taken two overdoses one in 2002 and one more serious one in 2005 where I was in hospital for a week after taking a cocktail of 20 olanzapine pills and 20 anti depressants and some other pills which I cannot remember, so basically everything I had in the draw.
I really feel like I have no one to turn to and am worried about going to a GP and going on olanzapine again as I do not want to lose my job as it just makes me sleep all the time. I am very concerned about my mental health and feel my partner is trying to kill me or poison me. He is a very private and secretive person and is not very open which brings out the worst in me, we have been together for almost 2 years now, he says he loves me but I cannot believe him.
I have had affairs and told him about them, maybe in the hope he would leave me or hate me but he forgave me. I hate myself, but he does not seem to have an interest in sex and has very bad OCD himself, I am constantly masturbating all the time despite being sidturbed and don't understand why. I feel like a freak in a way and feel like dying all the time again as I cannot cope with things any more, and as I said don't know where to turn.
I have got voilent to my partner and hit and bullied him, its not me, I have never been like this in a relationship previously. I feel like I am losing my mind again and just becoming someone else and do not know what to do can someone please help? Reccommend something, I am very desperate.
confused76 on 2008-05-05
Any questions post back here.
parachute last decade
confused76 last decade
parachute last decade
He was to stay with his grandmother and a lady servant the whole day (7.30am to 5.00 pm ) as his mother was working in bank and father had to go out for business. As he grew upto 1 year & 3-4 months his grandmother refused to keep him due to her old age. Then tried for a small scale baby sitting with which he was absolutely uncomfortable and unhappy. He was to cry everyday and he was not willing to stay there. Then he was to stay in a PALNAGHAR where there were about 70 children.. But he was not willing to go to the PALNAGHAR and wanted to stay at home. Finally his mother had to take V.R.S. to solve the problem.
Anger : Cannot control. During anger he is very bad destructive and arrogant.
Indisciplined behaviour. Never keeps his books, clothes, etc. properly.
Impulsive :During childhood liked to watch cartoon films and cricket match on T.V., keeping his all work pending.
Wants to study only one or two days before exam which puts more stress on him.
Very sincere and obedient at school, but not at home. He is clever, intelligent and sharp in memory.
He is very good chess player and has a desire to be Grandmaster.
Likes to collect soft toys, toy dogs, toy puppy, etc.and gets so much involved while playing with them that he treats all of them as his own family member..
Never tells his problem in spite of asking him in confidence. To escape from this, he changes the topic tactfully.
Delayed sleep phase syndrome Cannot sleep early Sometimes at 3AM
Last Sunday he slept at 4.15 AM and got up at 1.00 PM. Thursday night slept at 1.30 AM and got up at 11.15 AM Friday night he slept at 12.45 AM and got up at 2.00 PM & yesterday night he slept at 2.00 AM and got up at 1.00 PM. Unable to get up in the morning even after a sleep of 12 hours or more. Desire to remain in bed in spite of becoming awake. Lethargy. Giving false excuses like, legs pain, etc. if told to get up. Gets angry if he is disturbed from sleep. Very restless before going to bed
Hurry in eating, walking, etc .
Difficulty in concentrating, making decisions, remembering, absentmindedness
Restlessness, irritability or excessive argument.
Unable to tolerate contradiction, interruption of parents. Treats parents as unwanted, silly and backward people. Revengeful. Not ready to forgive. Tries to use Physical power.
Increase in energy level during anger and quarrel.
Gets ready to bang head or to leave home when angry..
Recalls old grievances; and quarrels.
Impatient and impulsive. Expects every one to answer or to act in a moment, without understanding his / her problem, if any.
Feeling of insecurity.
False pride and superiority complex. At the same time, very frightful and impatient when in problem.
Complaining about Delusions, Obsessive thoughts for last 3 months.
Compulsive behavior observed from last 3 4 months.
Not bothered about taking bath, hair-cut or shaving
Rhythmic movement of feet during sleep, as if he is awake.
Makes lot of plans about studying or about going to college the next morning. But unable to execute the plans. No feelings (OR MAY BE HIDING THE FEELINGS ) about missing lectures or studies.
No interest or desire to do anything other than playing chess. Able to read and concentrate on chess study material but there is no desire even to open academic study books or material. He becomes nervous or depressed if told not to play chess.
Physical weakness and lack of stamina. Loss of weight. Emaciation. Nocturnal emission. Heavy perspiration on slightest exertion. Increasing absentmindedness.Loss of weight. But not feeling weakness during chess tournament atmosphere.
Sometimes smiles with himself after thinking about sometjing for long time and then looks around to see if anyone watched him.
Not bothered about changing clothes when at home, taking bath, shaving, hair cut, nail cutting, etc.
Sometimes suddenly starts singing R & B songs very loudly.
Trying to hide his feelings & thoughts by way of changing the topic of conversation.
Thinks that he knows better or he can do anything.
Doing mobile chating, facebook and playing online rapid chess games of very short duration i.e. 1 3 minutes. These games require very fast thinking and hence makes him mentally exhausted and increases his anxiety.
Going to college just for the sake of attendance.
Did not cry or weep when his grandmother expired
I think he is having Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome and not sleep onset insomnia.
Sleep deprivation for last 3-4 years.
Intelligent, ambitious, scored 100% marks on S S C Exam in March, 2011
Ambitious,never contented and performance minded. But no fixed focus on one goal.
Capricious, arguementative, revangeful and rarely forgiving.
Can we allow him to watch horror / suspense films at night or after midnight?
He wants to keep friendship / relationship with one girl. We dont have any objection, but we feel that this should be within limit and he should not be after that keeping aside everything else. Further, girls parents are orthodox and they have objection. If tomorrow this friendship breaks then he should not go into further depression. What is your opinion?
If we disconnect internet, he may find some other way out or may prefer to remain out of home. What do you think?
Psychiatrist have made the diagnosis of Schizophrenia. Fluoxetine 40mg once a day is already started and now I am told to give my son Olanzapine 2.5 mg 3 hours before sleep to make him sleep at normal aleeping time. I know harms of this drug. Please advise me some homeopathic remedies to escape from these drugs.
[message edited by MAHAMAYA on Tue, 07 Aug 2012 11:37:12 BST]
[message edited by MAHAMAYA on Wed, 08 Aug 2012 08:58:59 BST]
MAHAMAYA 8 years ago
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