Dr. Sameer, please help with my son (behavioral, speech, eczema)

Hi Dr. Sameer!

Back when you were helping me out you advised me to not give my son anything until we were done breastfeeding. As irritating as it was at times, we just finished a few weeks ago and he's nearly 4-years-old (next month)!

As he gets older and his speech improves, I notice it's easier to prevent tantrums, since he's more understanding.

He is a very thin boy with dark 'devil's curly,' hair and big dark eyes and striking features. I figure I'll enclose a photo and photos of his skin issues since it will be easier for me to describe...

He is extremely loving and affectionate. However, alternatively, when he is angry, he can become violent (hit, bite, throw things, etc.) He will tell me he does not love me when he's mad (he's never learned to say 'I hate you,' so he expresses unlove). I understand he wants to hurt with words or physically to express his own frustration and pain.

He has a tendency to feel very guilty, for a long time, when he feels he's hurt someone. He will apologize, repeatedly, every time he remembers. I wish he was more able to let things go and not burden himself with them.

He becomes self conscious when he is caught doing something (singing, dancing, pretend-play, etc) where he was not expecting to be watched. Like say he's singing and we hear him and look over at him, he becomes mad, hides or hits us, yells for us to stop looking at him. It's almost as if he feels like we're making fun of him or just becomes embarrassed.

He's extremely shy, however, this varies. He is shy when he's calm and outrageous when he's excited. He is socially...a mess. We were at a play place the other day and two kids came in. He began yelling at them ('No! You can't play with this!'), yanking toys away, and when all else failed, he began 'singing,' at the top of his lungs, 'HAYEYUYAH!' Which he recently had heard on TV. I tried to redirect him into a less abnoxious activity, but after a few tries and realizing that it was a downhill battle, I just told him we needed to leave. I'm not into punitive measures, so I said that, 'daddy is waiting at home for us!'

So we're having a real hard time when we're out, in the presence of other children his age, because he gets too excited that he just wants to jump in there. He continues to call the children 'HEY BOY! HEY! HEY!' and when they don't pay much attention or try to get away from him, he gets really angry and reacts.

Lately, he's been telling me he has no friends. He really is alone with me a lot and I'm trying to become more social myself, but I'm a little paranoid to have him around other kids because I just never know how it's going to go. Around one child, he's perfect, but around more than one, it's a mess. He also is jealous of other children's relationship and needy of closeness with other children or pets.

He does GREAT with pets. Is very gentle and affectionate. Even when other children are around...if there is a dog he can pay attention to, it's like he becomes so balanced and mature. Pet owners have always been amazed by this, because likewise, animals gravitate toward him...especially the ones who are normally very nervous around people...like small dogs (chihuahuas) and cats.

A few months ago he started not wanting to do things for himself (brushing teeth, hair, eating, cleaning up his toys) and wants me to do everything for him. He says it's too hard. Getting him to sit still to eat is impossible. He takes a bite of food and then has to be physical and run, jump, do headstands!

He's afraid of being alone, like going to the bathroom alone. He would prefer it if someone went in there with him. He will ask me to sing so he can hear my voice and this helps him a bit. Alternatively, I will ask him to sing. I think this started after Halloween...because stupid stores have completely inappropriate gore as displays! To prevent the element of shock and trauma, I introduced them to him and let him know they were mask. Had him feel them, wear them, poke them, make fun of them, etc. It was still impacting for him.

Well, that's some of his personality.

Physically, he has eczema. He is the pickiest eater ever. He will not eat for days, go through a spurt of eating well for a few days (where he regains the weight he'd lost) and then goes on another food strike. He has a complete food aversion.

Craves sweets. Loves them...he would live off sweets if I let him. Sometimes, when he's had too many sweets, he will ask for 'real food.' He will not even try anything green. I got him to try a green pear by peeling it, first, then he liked it. He will eat some stuff (rice, beans, eggs, chicken, fish sticks, turkey, etc.), but everything has to be prepared just right and kind of bland. If he sees the food as being messy, he will not even want to look at it.

He's losing weight. He used to be WAY bigger than other children/babies when he was an infant or a mainly breastfed toddler, but now he's at the lower average. So his growth has also slowed. He will go through growth spurts when he eats and then he'll catch up.

He's addicted to watching TV or computer. I limit these, but it's a battle every day. We only have peaceful days when I shut the power off these at night and then the next morning tell him it's broken. But sometimes someone puts it on before they leave for work and neglect to shut it back off.

We have great days when I can manage to keep the TV/computer/video games off. If I try to limit them without doing this, it's a tantrum. But no normal tantrum that lasts an hour or two, but it's an all day thing. And an all-next-day thing.

He is incredibly strong willed. Which I see as a good quality, but can also be difficult to deal with.

He has eczema. I think most of it is on his torso, rib cage, belly, on his left side. It's almost like ...scrapes or dry skin. It covers a very large area. I'll see if I can get a picture of this. The eczema is like small scabs all over the place. Sometimes he gets it on his forearms, near his wrists, near the nape of the neck, or near his ankles/legs. But these are more like eczema trying to come out. I see them start to form and then dissipate.

He has a dairy allergy, but does eat dairy. He gets bad eczema if he eats too much. The allergist tested him and he came back allergic to peanuts, dairy, dogs and cats... I think that was it. But only the dairy allergy was serious (5 on a scale of 1-6)

He gets colds a lot. They are never severe or last more than a couple days, if that, but they are often...all year round. Mainly he will start with a stuffy nose and fever, then nose runs, discharge for a few days. Fever doesn't last longer than the first day. Annoying cough, mainly during sleep during the night for a couple hours. You can set time by the pattern!

Right now he has that, in fact. He has a stuffy nose and is whiny (moreso the first couple hours of sleep), which is what got me to post here. You had recommended Pulsatilla 6c and/or Nux Vomica, but I couldn't remember which. This was why I was posting, actually...

He has a speech delay. Stutters sometimes (which I've read is normal at this age), especially when he's tired, excited or nervous.

That's about all I can think of right now. I hate to see him struggle with so much, so I'm hoping you can help me.

Thank you,
Ana