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Procrastination and low self-confidence Page 5 of 8
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Hello Dr. Zady,
thank you. I just did as prescribed.
Have a wonderful Sunday and week and talk soon, Tara
thank you. I just did as prescribed.
Have a wonderful Sunday and week and talk soon, Tara
Tara2013 last decade
Hello Dr. Zady,
apologies that I am posting only now. I was down with a headache the last two days and in bed.
Friday, I had gotten my period and I was feeling fine.
I don't know if the headache was/is because of my period. I suppose it was more my need to rest as I felt drained, especially on Saturday. I tried to sleep the headache 'out' but always woke up after about 2 hours. I actually wanted to get better as I been invited to a birthday party to which I really wanted to go to. But even my trick 'you can go later' or 'you don't have to go' didn't work. Sometimes, if I take away the pressure to socialise, I get better. This time, it was persistent. In the evening hours on Saturday, I felt like I need to vomit. But I had just drunken water whenever I woke up.
The headache is still there a little bit. It is different this time: There is an overall pressure across my entire forehead and it lasts longer. The headaches I had before were centered only on the left side, very strong and lasted one day.
The good thing is that I didn't touch any chocolate since then. So far, today, I don't feel much of a craving yet.
Last week, I managed to email out one job application each day and did a bit of creative writing as well.
It is a bit frustrating that I have not received any response yet. I want to be out there and work in my field, if I get the chance.
I suppose this is why I have a bit of a Monday morning blues today. If I could have, I would have pulled the blanket over my head today. Then I thought to start with updating you - a good thing to start the day with - and then take the next step.
I still have trouble falling asleep at the moment. I feel tired at a reasonable time now but once I am in bed, it takes me quite some time to actually fall asleep.
Shall we wait another week or give it already another Puls push?
Talk soon and with kind regards, Tara
apologies that I am posting only now. I was down with a headache the last two days and in bed.
Friday, I had gotten my period and I was feeling fine.
I don't know if the headache was/is because of my period. I suppose it was more my need to rest as I felt drained, especially on Saturday. I tried to sleep the headache 'out' but always woke up after about 2 hours. I actually wanted to get better as I been invited to a birthday party to which I really wanted to go to. But even my trick 'you can go later' or 'you don't have to go' didn't work. Sometimes, if I take away the pressure to socialise, I get better. This time, it was persistent. In the evening hours on Saturday, I felt like I need to vomit. But I had just drunken water whenever I woke up.
The headache is still there a little bit. It is different this time: There is an overall pressure across my entire forehead and it lasts longer. The headaches I had before were centered only on the left side, very strong and lasted one day.
The good thing is that I didn't touch any chocolate since then. So far, today, I don't feel much of a craving yet.
Last week, I managed to email out one job application each day and did a bit of creative writing as well.
It is a bit frustrating that I have not received any response yet. I want to be out there and work in my field, if I get the chance.
I suppose this is why I have a bit of a Monday morning blues today. If I could have, I would have pulled the blanket over my head today. Then I thought to start with updating you - a good thing to start the day with - and then take the next step.
I still have trouble falling asleep at the moment. I feel tired at a reasonable time now but once I am in bed, it takes me quite some time to actually fall asleep.
Shall we wait another week or give it already another Puls push?
Talk soon and with kind regards, Tara
Tara2013 last decade
What is different?
Did this kind of headache happen before?
Did things improve in the initial days after taking puls?
Did this kind of headache happen before?
Did things improve in the initial days after taking puls?
♡ Zady101 last decade
Hello Dr. Zady,
this kind of headache is a first-timer. The difference is that it is spread across the forehead. The aching itself is more like a pressure, as if someone presses his hand against it. It does last longer. I can still feel it a bit today. Similar though is that I need to burp.
The headaches before used to be centered on one spot only, always only on the left side. And it was a strong pressure, like a hammer.
I also used to vomit several times. This time, I felt I need to vomit only once. I had not eaten anything (not hungry), just drunken water. Only a bit of saliva came out.
What did improve in the initial days is that I completed and emailed job applications - so, I got things done.
Just received two rejections - although one of them was worded personally. I try to tell myself 'then this wasn't the right job and the right one is on its way' but it will be difficult to keep going and be in good spirits.
And keep away from the chocolate. At the moment, I'm not having a craving yet. I usually would deal with a rejection - job and personal rejection - with some chocolate for comfort.
Talk soon, Tara
this kind of headache is a first-timer. The difference is that it is spread across the forehead. The aching itself is more like a pressure, as if someone presses his hand against it. It does last longer. I can still feel it a bit today. Similar though is that I need to burp.
The headaches before used to be centered on one spot only, always only on the left side. And it was a strong pressure, like a hammer.
I also used to vomit several times. This time, I felt I need to vomit only once. I had not eaten anything (not hungry), just drunken water. Only a bit of saliva came out.
What did improve in the initial days is that I completed and emailed job applications - so, I got things done.
Just received two rejections - although one of them was worded personally. I try to tell myself 'then this wasn't the right job and the right one is on its way' but it will be difficult to keep going and be in good spirits.
And keep away from the chocolate. At the moment, I'm not having a craving yet. I usually would deal with a rejection - job and personal rejection - with some chocolate for comfort.
Talk soon, Tara
Tara2013 last decade
PS. I am actually afraid of eating chocolate now! I have the funny feeling chocolate may trigger the headaches. And I want to be headache-free.
Just a thought - the headache might also be caused by worries. Although I still do have a cushion, I would like to be back in the workforce. Nicely freelancing 3 or 4 days a week.
And although I'm in bed in time again, me worrying is then keeping me then up a bit too late at night.
Just a thought - the headache might also be caused by worries. Although I still do have a cushion, I would like to be back in the workforce. Nicely freelancing 3 or 4 days a week.
And although I'm in bed in time again, me worrying is then keeping me then up a bit too late at night.
Tara2013 last decade
Sorry for bothering you much. Can you please give details of headache again:
1) Location
2) a- Kind of headache ( what kind of sensation or pain is there )?
b - did something trigger it?
3) Nausea?
4) Vomiting - how many?
5) restless/anxious?
6) sweating?
7) Did pulsatilla work initially?
Please provide your answers under each question, otherwise you will forget some questions.
1) Location
2) a- Kind of headache ( what kind of sensation or pain is there )?
b - did something trigger it?
3) Nausea?
4) Vomiting - how many?
5) restless/anxious?
6) sweating?
7) Did pulsatilla work initially?
Please provide your answers under each question, otherwise you will forget some questions.
♡ Zady101 last decade
Hello Dr. Zady,
you're not bothering me at all ;-)
1) Location
The forehead, from the left to the right hand side along the hairline.
2) a- Kind of headache ( what kind of sensation or pain is there )?
A constant pressure, not tingling or hammering, rather as if someone is pressing constantly his hand against my forehead. But that pressure was not on top or coming from the skull.
b - did something trigger it?
* As I felt drained, it could be lack of sleep. As I am experiencing trouble falling asleep in the evening.
* Worrying (see comment on 5)
* What could have also triggered it, and that occurs to me only now, is my inability to say no: Whenever I have time, I help out as a volunteer in a writing centre for kids. I am happy to do it
but at the moment I need to focus on applications, getting an income and on my writing. When I was in the centre last Tuesday, I told the coordinator exactly that. On Friday, she rung twice (I didn't hear the phone while I was out). Back home, I saw she had even texted, so I gave in and agreed to help out. I felt a bit chased down by her. I help out a lot, and my energy must be centered on my needs now.
3) Nausea?
A bit. But rather tired, sleepy.
4) Vomiting - how many?
Once, no food, only saliva
5) restless/anxious?
Yes. Although I still have a bit of a cushion to pay my bills and don't overspend, it would give me peace of mind to get booked for jobs on set. It's also good for my self-esteem. And: I enjoy working, especially if it's creative.
6) sweating?
No, I felt actually cold, especially hands and feet. Also had occassional shiverings (or agues?) throughout Saturday.
7) Did pulsatilla work initially?
Puls did work in that respect that I got things done and did email CVs out last week. It also worked that I started feeling tired at a reasonable time in the evenings again. Although I have trouble falling asleep when in bed. My mind is still racing for at least an hour. But last time with Puls I fell easily asleep, so I think it will happen again.
I also felt overall content. Not as good as I did in the summer time. But I have faith that I get back into the swing of things.
Tara
[message edited by Tara2013 on Mon, 20 Jan 2014 17:28:48 GMT]
you're not bothering me at all ;-)
1) Location
The forehead, from the left to the right hand side along the hairline.
2) a- Kind of headache ( what kind of sensation or pain is there )?
A constant pressure, not tingling or hammering, rather as if someone is pressing constantly his hand against my forehead. But that pressure was not on top or coming from the skull.
b - did something trigger it?
* As I felt drained, it could be lack of sleep. As I am experiencing trouble falling asleep in the evening.
* Worrying (see comment on 5)
* What could have also triggered it, and that occurs to me only now, is my inability to say no: Whenever I have time, I help out as a volunteer in a writing centre for kids. I am happy to do it
but at the moment I need to focus on applications, getting an income and on my writing. When I was in the centre last Tuesday, I told the coordinator exactly that. On Friday, she rung twice (I didn't hear the phone while I was out). Back home, I saw she had even texted, so I gave in and agreed to help out. I felt a bit chased down by her. I help out a lot, and my energy must be centered on my needs now.
3) Nausea?
A bit. But rather tired, sleepy.
4) Vomiting - how many?
Once, no food, only saliva
5) restless/anxious?
Yes. Although I still have a bit of a cushion to pay my bills and don't overspend, it would give me peace of mind to get booked for jobs on set. It's also good for my self-esteem. And: I enjoy working, especially if it's creative.
6) sweating?
No, I felt actually cold, especially hands and feet. Also had occassional shiverings (or agues?) throughout Saturday.
7) Did pulsatilla work initially?
Puls did work in that respect that I got things done and did email CVs out last week. It also worked that I started feeling tired at a reasonable time in the evenings again. Although I have trouble falling asleep when in bed. My mind is still racing for at least an hour. But last time with Puls I fell easily asleep, so I think it will happen again.
I also felt overall content. Not as good as I did in the summer time. But I have faith that I get back into the swing of things.
Tara
[message edited by Tara2013 on Mon, 20 Jan 2014 17:28:48 GMT]
Tara2013 last decade
Pulsatilla 200C
Dissolve 2 drops/5 pills in 3 tablespoons water in a disposable cup. Stir a few times using a spoon. Take 1st tablespoon, wait 15 mins, take 2nd tablespoon, wait 15 mins, take 3rd and last tablespoon.
Update after 8-9 days.
Dissolve 2 drops/5 pills in 3 tablespoons water in a disposable cup. Stir a few times using a spoon. Take 1st tablespoon, wait 15 mins, take 2nd tablespoon, wait 15 mins, take 3rd and last tablespoon.
Update after 8-9 days.
♡ Zady101 last decade
Thank you, Dr. Zady. In case I have a headache again, shall I inform you straight away? Or will the update in 8-9 days do? I keep a diary, so I can give you detailed information (whatever I am putting down every day) and know that headaches are a signal/symptom. It's not life threatening. But maybe you want an immediate information on it.
Talk soon and with warm regards, Tara
And I wish us both a wonderful week
Talk soon and with warm regards, Tara
And I wish us both a wonderful week
Tara2013 last decade
Hello Dr. Zady,
my sleeping pattern seems to have normalised again :) Except for last night, I usually got to bed at around 11PM and seem to fall asleep quite fast. I suppose that me going to bed in time takes the stress of, that I do not panick, that must find sleep immediately. I am therefore not drained during the day. Let's keep our fingers crossed that this continues.
The first week after taking Puls as prescribed (20/01), I actually did not have chocolate cravings at all. This week, the cravings started again a bit, but the amount has dropped tremendously.
I am still a homy-person these days. I can do cinema but don't feel for being much around people. Maybe this is because I have focused on my writing and needed the refugee?
Last week, I submitted 3 job applications - one of them led to an interview this Tuesday. That pleased me, and was good for myself. This positive reply was a great upper.
The interview went pretty well I think. Although on the way back home, I kept thinking 'I forgot to mention this, I forgot that ...' The friend I met afterwards said 'you can't remember everything, so chill, it does sound like they will ring you. They were interested enough to meet you.' This was re-assuring. And I am thinking positive. (It would be freelancing; they don't film at the moment but recruit right now)
What I have noticed is that I keep going over sentences over and over again. The cover letter was done after a day but I double-checked several times before I finally emailed it out. This week, while writing a short story I have submitted tonight by post, I kept going back over every single sentence, re-wrote, deleted, re-wrote again. Checked the dictionary to find an even more suitable word, the best ever word. If I had not posted it tonight, I still would sit over it, now, once again. There was a deadline, thank God (next Monday) and I did not want to post last minute.
With this rewriting procedure however, I have sabotaged my great idea to drop off a load of CVs this week. One CV per day, that was the plan. That I spend Monday preparing for the job interview was okay; but I had intended to be done with the short story by Tuesday.
I did not update you in time, on Wednesday, either.
I did not have any headaches. That is also very good.
Shall we wait for another week or give it already another Puls push?
Talk soon and with warm regards, Tara
[message edited by Tara2013 on Fri, 31 Jan 2014 22:36:15 GMT]
my sleeping pattern seems to have normalised again :) Except for last night, I usually got to bed at around 11PM and seem to fall asleep quite fast. I suppose that me going to bed in time takes the stress of, that I do not panick, that must find sleep immediately. I am therefore not drained during the day. Let's keep our fingers crossed that this continues.
The first week after taking Puls as prescribed (20/01), I actually did not have chocolate cravings at all. This week, the cravings started again a bit, but the amount has dropped tremendously.
I am still a homy-person these days. I can do cinema but don't feel for being much around people. Maybe this is because I have focused on my writing and needed the refugee?
Last week, I submitted 3 job applications - one of them led to an interview this Tuesday. That pleased me, and was good for myself. This positive reply was a great upper.
The interview went pretty well I think. Although on the way back home, I kept thinking 'I forgot to mention this, I forgot that ...' The friend I met afterwards said 'you can't remember everything, so chill, it does sound like they will ring you. They were interested enough to meet you.' This was re-assuring. And I am thinking positive. (It would be freelancing; they don't film at the moment but recruit right now)
What I have noticed is that I keep going over sentences over and over again. The cover letter was done after a day but I double-checked several times before I finally emailed it out. This week, while writing a short story I have submitted tonight by post, I kept going back over every single sentence, re-wrote, deleted, re-wrote again. Checked the dictionary to find an even more suitable word, the best ever word. If I had not posted it tonight, I still would sit over it, now, once again. There was a deadline, thank God (next Monday) and I did not want to post last minute.
With this rewriting procedure however, I have sabotaged my great idea to drop off a load of CVs this week. One CV per day, that was the plan. That I spend Monday preparing for the job interview was okay; but I had intended to be done with the short story by Tuesday.
I did not update you in time, on Wednesday, either.
I did not have any headaches. That is also very good.
Shall we wait for another week or give it already another Puls push?
Talk soon and with warm regards, Tara
[message edited by Tara2013 on Fri, 31 Jan 2014 22:36:15 GMT]
Tara2013 last decade
Hello Dr. Zady,
this week has been very good, yah :)
Tuesday, I eventually sent off my application for a TV-series I would love to be involved in. I have not received any feedback, but this did not stop me from dropping off my CV in person at two other TV companies in town. Both went very well - they were saying that they will ring if something is coming up. And the 2nd company, the production assistant had quite a long chat. She had taken a quick peek at my CV while we were chatting and when I mentioned the series I was booked for, she said 'yes, I have just seen this' and I even mentioned with a wink 'I also got a credit for one episode, so I must have done something right.' They both seemed very pleased that I had dropped it off in person, and I am now telling myself at least once a day that I will get hired.
I didn't get 3 other applications done - but today went extremely well. And I have the courage to do another round.
I have a both trouble falling asleep. I feel tired in time, no later than 11PM. But my mind starts spinning, especially last night. I had lots to sort today (I made a list yesterday, in what order to do what and where to go, so that I was not wasting time)
I am in Berlin from tomorrow (Friday) until Wednesday. I will check my emails once a day and will take Puls 200C and 1M with me, just in case you prescribe it. Or shall we wait until I am back?
Oh, very important: Sunday until yesterday, I had no chocolate cravings. Today a bit. And no headaches :) :)
Talk soon and with very warm regards, Tara
this week has been very good, yah :)
Tuesday, I eventually sent off my application for a TV-series I would love to be involved in. I have not received any feedback, but this did not stop me from dropping off my CV in person at two other TV companies in town. Both went very well - they were saying that they will ring if something is coming up. And the 2nd company, the production assistant had quite a long chat. She had taken a quick peek at my CV while we were chatting and when I mentioned the series I was booked for, she said 'yes, I have just seen this' and I even mentioned with a wink 'I also got a credit for one episode, so I must have done something right.' They both seemed very pleased that I had dropped it off in person, and I am now telling myself at least once a day that I will get hired.
I didn't get 3 other applications done - but today went extremely well. And I have the courage to do another round.
I have a both trouble falling asleep. I feel tired in time, no later than 11PM. But my mind starts spinning, especially last night. I had lots to sort today (I made a list yesterday, in what order to do what and where to go, so that I was not wasting time)
I am in Berlin from tomorrow (Friday) until Wednesday. I will check my emails once a day and will take Puls 200C and 1M with me, just in case you prescribe it. Or shall we wait until I am back?
Oh, very important: Sunday until yesterday, I had no chocolate cravings. Today a bit. And no headaches :) :)
Talk soon and with very warm regards, Tara
Tara2013 last decade
Hello Dr. Zady,
after returning from Berlin on Wednesday night, I had to catch up on sleep for four days. While in Berlin at the film festival, I managed the lack of sleep and being busy extremely well though. I only drank water, no chocolate.
A positive thing was that I stood up for myself: One has to be very early in the mornings in the queue to get film tickets. When I saw 3 people coming in about an hour later in front of me, I was successfully putting my foot down. And other people were immediately on my side. Another positive thing was that I got things by simply asking. For example, when I had booked the hostel weeks ago, I originally had to move to a more pricey room for 2 nights. When I arrived, I asked if there had been a possible cancellation so that I could stay in the cheaper room. And I could. If I had been facing this situation a year ago, I wouldn't have asked to avoid possible hassle.
Friday/Saturday, I felt getting back to normal during the day. I also went to sleep at around 10PM. Sunday though, I just felt wrecked and had a bit of a headache, again on the left hand side. Maybe because I hadn't caught up enough on sleep? I didn't feel nauseous though, only extremely tired. The headache was gone toward the evening, after sleeping all day long.
Tonight will also be an early night.
I have not gotten the 3 other applications done yet. They are high on my agenda for tomorrow plus an email to a producer who I was sitting next to on the flight back home. That should have been done already. So, I am a bit in the procrastination loop.
And I am a bit of a homy still. I had cancelled plans last Saturday - that was a healthy, wise choice. For next Saturday, I would like to see myself around people in the real world though.
Is it time for another Pulsatilla push?
Talk soon & with warmest regards, Tara
after returning from Berlin on Wednesday night, I had to catch up on sleep for four days. While in Berlin at the film festival, I managed the lack of sleep and being busy extremely well though. I only drank water, no chocolate.
A positive thing was that I stood up for myself: One has to be very early in the mornings in the queue to get film tickets. When I saw 3 people coming in about an hour later in front of me, I was successfully putting my foot down. And other people were immediately on my side. Another positive thing was that I got things by simply asking. For example, when I had booked the hostel weeks ago, I originally had to move to a more pricey room for 2 nights. When I arrived, I asked if there had been a possible cancellation so that I could stay in the cheaper room. And I could. If I had been facing this situation a year ago, I wouldn't have asked to avoid possible hassle.
Friday/Saturday, I felt getting back to normal during the day. I also went to sleep at around 10PM. Sunday though, I just felt wrecked and had a bit of a headache, again on the left hand side. Maybe because I hadn't caught up enough on sleep? I didn't feel nauseous though, only extremely tired. The headache was gone toward the evening, after sleeping all day long.
Tonight will also be an early night.
I have not gotten the 3 other applications done yet. They are high on my agenda for tomorrow plus an email to a producer who I was sitting next to on the flight back home. That should have been done already. So, I am a bit in the procrastination loop.
And I am a bit of a homy still. I had cancelled plans last Saturday - that was a healthy, wise choice. For next Saturday, I would like to see myself around people in the real world though.
Is it time for another Pulsatilla push?
Talk soon & with warmest regards, Tara
Tara2013 last decade
Hello Dr. Zady,
the good news is: My sleeping habits are excellent. I am even up early in the mornings, ready to rock. I practise yoga for at least 30 minutes every day and have also decluttered once again. I am getting really good in bringing everything I have no use for to charity.
Last Friday, I also went to meet a job recruiter which went well overall - I mentioned that I would also be interested in temping, especially as I am trying to get into TV productions. You know, I was honest with her but kept all the doors open.
Yesterday, I finally dropped an email to the producer I had met two weeks ago. But I honestly had to force myself not to further procrastinate. I also managed to get an address from another production company but got quickly discouraged after realising that this company is tied to another, bigger production company which has never replied to any of my applications.
I have a few more production companies on the list to approach. I know that this one company is not the only one here - I just have to get out there but I noticed a growing fear of failure.
I suppose this fear of failure dovetails with my preference of staying in the comfort zone of my home. Yesterday, I went to a panel discussion with other people from the film industry. Instead of staying and possibly chatting with some people, I bailed.
Deep down inside, I know that outside the comfort zone, life is good. There is nothing to be afraid of. Under this aspect, I'm having it with myself.
Appearance: Overall good. Especially my hair looks great, really curly as it used to be. I watch what I eat - lots of greens. The chocolate cravings are back a bit though.
What I just noticed is a lot of black heads on the left cheek and white heads on the right cheek, around the chin and chest. Those white pimples sit deeply in the skin and do not come out.
I also feel often cold, especially my hands are ice cold.
So, what do you think? Another push with Pulsatilla?
Talk soon and with warm regards, Tara
the good news is: My sleeping habits are excellent. I am even up early in the mornings, ready to rock. I practise yoga for at least 30 minutes every day and have also decluttered once again. I am getting really good in bringing everything I have no use for to charity.
Last Friday, I also went to meet a job recruiter which went well overall - I mentioned that I would also be interested in temping, especially as I am trying to get into TV productions. You know, I was honest with her but kept all the doors open.
Yesterday, I finally dropped an email to the producer I had met two weeks ago. But I honestly had to force myself not to further procrastinate. I also managed to get an address from another production company but got quickly discouraged after realising that this company is tied to another, bigger production company which has never replied to any of my applications.
I have a few more production companies on the list to approach. I know that this one company is not the only one here - I just have to get out there but I noticed a growing fear of failure.
I suppose this fear of failure dovetails with my preference of staying in the comfort zone of my home. Yesterday, I went to a panel discussion with other people from the film industry. Instead of staying and possibly chatting with some people, I bailed.
Deep down inside, I know that outside the comfort zone, life is good. There is nothing to be afraid of. Under this aspect, I'm having it with myself.
Appearance: Overall good. Especially my hair looks great, really curly as it used to be. I watch what I eat - lots of greens. The chocolate cravings are back a bit though.
What I just noticed is a lot of black heads on the left cheek and white heads on the right cheek, around the chin and chest. Those white pimples sit deeply in the skin and do not come out.
I also feel often cold, especially my hands are ice cold.
So, what do you think? Another push with Pulsatilla?
Talk soon and with warm regards, Tara
Tara2013 last decade
Sepia 200
Dissolve 2 drops in 8oz disposable cup filled with water, stir a few times and take 2 teaspoons from it once only. Update after 1 wk.
Dissolve 2 drops in 8oz disposable cup filled with water, stir a few times and take 2 teaspoons from it once only. Update after 1 wk.
♡ Zady101 last decade
Tara2013 last decade
Hello Dr. Zady,
update after Sepia 200, taken as prescribed.
The good news for this week are: I have landed me a temping job. It's not my dream job (not on set) but it gives peace of mind to have some money coming in. The team is small but lovely. I'm not too exhausted in the evening either, so that I at least do practise yoga once a day. And no migranes :)
Plus, because I am on the phone all day long, I drink plenty of water.
Regretfully, I didn't get my applications done and out as planed. I did do some creative writing on Wednesday and Thursday evening, thinking that this would fire up my writing engine for good cover letters but it didn't. This drives me a bot angry about myself. The only 'excuse' that ghosts through my head for this is a fear of rejection/no reply or fear of possible failure if I am actually successful. The familiar contraction ... I want to work on set, I love working on set but what if I don't meet the expectations?
I had gone out Friday evening - the writing centre where I volunteer had their annual party - and it was good to see everybody. I actually stayed longer than expected.
Although I have gone to sleep in time all week, I had to catch up on sleep on Saturday, so this was a bit of a wasted day & postponed my application session :(
On Thursday night to Friday and Friday night to Saturday I also noticed that I had 'night sweat' (don't know if this is the correct term; the dictionary wasn't giving other options) It was very cold when I came home Friday night, and it took me some time to warm up at home - but my guess is that Sepia is doing its work and less the outside temperature. I have also noticed once or twice this week a bit of body odor. I had to wash under my arms a second time after just having taken a shower.
Overall, I still prefer the comfort of my home during weekends. On the other hand side, I have the feeling I need to household with my energy at the moment. I need to get up in time in the morning, and even though my teping job isn't that stressful, I still have to work for 8 hours. Yawning at the desk would not be wise ;-)
Or maybe I am about to move on to be around other people and less around the dancers? I will observe this for anoher week or two. Because the other day, I suggested to a lady who I had met a few months ago to meet up, and she replied 'yes, long overdue, let's set it up.'
My diet is good, I would say. Lots of greenery; chocolate cravings have gone up a bit again but I must have lost weight. I have noticed it on my trousers. And: I could resist so easily all the pizzas served at the writing centre party. Usually, I have 2-3 slices. I saw the cheese on it and just could care less. I didn't feel I'm missing out on it either.
My hands still feel cold, even though I'm packed in with 2 shirts and a jumper.
Overall feeling is content except for the application situation. To sum this up: I would like to be assertive toward myself. Have plan, execute it, move on.
With warm regards and talk soon, Tara
update after Sepia 200, taken as prescribed.
The good news for this week are: I have landed me a temping job. It's not my dream job (not on set) but it gives peace of mind to have some money coming in. The team is small but lovely. I'm not too exhausted in the evening either, so that I at least do practise yoga once a day. And no migranes :)
Plus, because I am on the phone all day long, I drink plenty of water.
Regretfully, I didn't get my applications done and out as planed. I did do some creative writing on Wednesday and Thursday evening, thinking that this would fire up my writing engine for good cover letters but it didn't. This drives me a bot angry about myself. The only 'excuse' that ghosts through my head for this is a fear of rejection/no reply or fear of possible failure if I am actually successful. The familiar contraction ... I want to work on set, I love working on set but what if I don't meet the expectations?
I had gone out Friday evening - the writing centre where I volunteer had their annual party - and it was good to see everybody. I actually stayed longer than expected.
Although I have gone to sleep in time all week, I had to catch up on sleep on Saturday, so this was a bit of a wasted day & postponed my application session :(
On Thursday night to Friday and Friday night to Saturday I also noticed that I had 'night sweat' (don't know if this is the correct term; the dictionary wasn't giving other options) It was very cold when I came home Friday night, and it took me some time to warm up at home - but my guess is that Sepia is doing its work and less the outside temperature. I have also noticed once or twice this week a bit of body odor. I had to wash under my arms a second time after just having taken a shower.
Overall, I still prefer the comfort of my home during weekends. On the other hand side, I have the feeling I need to household with my energy at the moment. I need to get up in time in the morning, and even though my teping job isn't that stressful, I still have to work for 8 hours. Yawning at the desk would not be wise ;-)
Or maybe I am about to move on to be around other people and less around the dancers? I will observe this for anoher week or two. Because the other day, I suggested to a lady who I had met a few months ago to meet up, and she replied 'yes, long overdue, let's set it up.'
My diet is good, I would say. Lots of greenery; chocolate cravings have gone up a bit again but I must have lost weight. I have noticed it on my trousers. And: I could resist so easily all the pizzas served at the writing centre party. Usually, I have 2-3 slices. I saw the cheese on it and just could care less. I didn't feel I'm missing out on it either.
My hands still feel cold, even though I'm packed in with 2 shirts and a jumper.
Overall feeling is content except for the application situation. To sum this up: I would like to be assertive toward myself. Have plan, execute it, move on.
With warm regards and talk soon, Tara
Tara2013 last decade
Dear Dr. Zady,
now it's been two weeks ... ops.
My sleep and my diet are okay, even though I was off this week.
I had a slight headache last Thursday; it was gone in the early evening after sleeping most of the day. I felt drained as if all my energy had been sucked out of me. The headache could have been a. because I had been a lazy bum the previous days not doing any yoga, no exercise at all, or b. because Wednesday was a bit stressful doing a errands. I had to drop off a letter of notification at the employment office; when I was picking this notification up at the job agency, I had to wait for about 15 minutes. When it was handed out, I noticed that it had the wrong Social Insurrance No. and my former address. It took them about 20 minutes to correct and reprint it. My time was further wasted because of trouble with my pay cheque and so on.
I basically felt frustrated that other people were wasting my time. While waiting for the reprint, I thought 'I'm about to bite into the table.' By the time I was back home, it was about 4PM instead of 1 or 2PM.
I was telling the recruiter in a polite way that 'I have other things to do on my days off, instead of running back and forth.' But there is not much I can do to change other people. If I, let's say, start yelling like Rumpelstiltskin, I risk they don't call me for jobs anymore.
I actually doubt the message got through to him. There was a somewhat similar situation regarding job findings in general: I had stressed not to be interested in customer service and German language jobs. If I'm not working on TV-sets, I want to do Admin and English speaking. I have good experience in Admin and mentioned to have completed a course in bookkeeping. He then said the bookkeeping skills wouldn't be relevant for the job he just found for me (and that's German customer service), because his job would be to find me a job. It seems irrelevant to him if the job is suitable or is beneficial to me career-wise.
This job would be short-term for 3 months. One can argue that I could always leave when a job offer in TV/film comes up. That however requires to have the energy to write applications after 8 hours on the phone and a congested throat. To be honest with you, I don't see this happening. I don't mean to sound negative. I'm just realistic with myself. At the moment, I am already too beat to write applications from doing errands; and I fear to just trap myself with a job like this, especially since customer service jobs always make me sick. My throat gets congested and I'm clearing it repeatedly. In two jobs, they even scheduled the toilet breaks.
The only reason why I would accept it is: It's only 12 weeks, and I could save money to finance my short film. And I probably would need Puls intravenously 24/7 ;-) ... at least, I still have my humour :)
I am still a homy, although I have decided that I return to dance training from this week on. Because it will makes me used to being among other people. I have also set up meeting a friend I have not seen in ages. (We had met last year at the world record Riverdancing) She is a bit older. Besides the fact that she is lovely, I was thinking
to expand my wings or be under other people's wings a bit more. Her husband for example is a writer, and I should be around people who are working in the area I want to succeed in. Kind of the 'same attracts same'.
I therefore also quickly signed up for an evening course that is designed for rehearsing with actors & directing. I's only for three evenings, but this will do me good, to be with people who share the same interests and goals.
Skin: 2 persistent white spots are gone but overall, my face and chest are full of black and white spots.
My hands are also still feeling cold although it is quite mild these days.
On the positive side, I have progressed a bit with my novel - I am still procrastinating with applications and that drives me mad but I got some creative writing done. I also reacted positively selfish when a mate pinged me via Skype. She had seen my online while I was doing research. Truthfully I cannot stand her waffling about her issues anymore. I had advised her what to do (i.e. getting onto this homoepathy forum) but she doesn't do it. She only twaddles. I pinged her back that I have no time, and she backed off.
Overall feeling is mixed: I am still not as assertive as I would like to be; and even if I try to be, people either don't listen or they try to keep me in a situation where it suits them best, such as the situation with the job agency.
Now I have taken enough of your time, and for me, it's yoga time.
Talk soon. Have a lovely Sunday, Tara
[message edited by Tara2013 on Sun, 16 Mar 2014 15:05:00 GMT]
now it's been two weeks ... ops.
My sleep and my diet are okay, even though I was off this week.
I had a slight headache last Thursday; it was gone in the early evening after sleeping most of the day. I felt drained as if all my energy had been sucked out of me. The headache could have been a. because I had been a lazy bum the previous days not doing any yoga, no exercise at all, or b. because Wednesday was a bit stressful doing a errands. I had to drop off a letter of notification at the employment office; when I was picking this notification up at the job agency, I had to wait for about 15 minutes. When it was handed out, I noticed that it had the wrong Social Insurrance No. and my former address. It took them about 20 minutes to correct and reprint it. My time was further wasted because of trouble with my pay cheque and so on.
I basically felt frustrated that other people were wasting my time. While waiting for the reprint, I thought 'I'm about to bite into the table.' By the time I was back home, it was about 4PM instead of 1 or 2PM.
I was telling the recruiter in a polite way that 'I have other things to do on my days off, instead of running back and forth.' But there is not much I can do to change other people. If I, let's say, start yelling like Rumpelstiltskin, I risk they don't call me for jobs anymore.
I actually doubt the message got through to him. There was a somewhat similar situation regarding job findings in general: I had stressed not to be interested in customer service and German language jobs. If I'm not working on TV-sets, I want to do Admin and English speaking. I have good experience in Admin and mentioned to have completed a course in bookkeeping. He then said the bookkeeping skills wouldn't be relevant for the job he just found for me (and that's German customer service), because his job would be to find me a job. It seems irrelevant to him if the job is suitable or is beneficial to me career-wise.
This job would be short-term for 3 months. One can argue that I could always leave when a job offer in TV/film comes up. That however requires to have the energy to write applications after 8 hours on the phone and a congested throat. To be honest with you, I don't see this happening. I don't mean to sound negative. I'm just realistic with myself. At the moment, I am already too beat to write applications from doing errands; and I fear to just trap myself with a job like this, especially since customer service jobs always make me sick. My throat gets congested and I'm clearing it repeatedly. In two jobs, they even scheduled the toilet breaks.
The only reason why I would accept it is: It's only 12 weeks, and I could save money to finance my short film. And I probably would need Puls intravenously 24/7 ;-) ... at least, I still have my humour :)
I am still a homy, although I have decided that I return to dance training from this week on. Because it will makes me used to being among other people. I have also set up meeting a friend I have not seen in ages. (We had met last year at the world record Riverdancing) She is a bit older. Besides the fact that she is lovely, I was thinking
to expand my wings or be under other people's wings a bit more. Her husband for example is a writer, and I should be around people who are working in the area I want to succeed in. Kind of the 'same attracts same'.
I therefore also quickly signed up for an evening course that is designed for rehearsing with actors & directing. I's only for three evenings, but this will do me good, to be with people who share the same interests and goals.
Skin: 2 persistent white spots are gone but overall, my face and chest are full of black and white spots.
My hands are also still feeling cold although it is quite mild these days.
On the positive side, I have progressed a bit with my novel - I am still procrastinating with applications and that drives me mad but I got some creative writing done. I also reacted positively selfish when a mate pinged me via Skype. She had seen my online while I was doing research. Truthfully I cannot stand her waffling about her issues anymore. I had advised her what to do (i.e. getting onto this homoepathy forum) but she doesn't do it. She only twaddles. I pinged her back that I have no time, and she backed off.
Overall feeling is mixed: I am still not as assertive as I would like to be; and even if I try to be, people either don't listen or they try to keep me in a situation where it suits them best, such as the situation with the job agency.
Now I have taken enough of your time, and for me, it's yoga time.
Talk soon. Have a lovely Sunday, Tara
[message edited by Tara2013 on Sun, 16 Mar 2014 15:05:00 GMT]
Tara2013 last decade
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