for docter showrav,help for depression

Respected Docter


thanks for your quick response.I am uploading my details below.




age 36
height-5'4'
weight-65
sex-male
status-married
occupation -teacher
country-india
respected sir
i am suffered from depression since last nine years. i was posted far from my hometown, living alone.i was incharge of school.i had to spent some grarnts.while spending i took some without dated bills of the articles purchased and later mentioned a suitable date according to accounts due to some technical reasons.[it was only change of date not any money related dishonesty]after sometime i started thinking that the date mentioned by me dont match with the carbon copy of the billbook of shop, if there is a probe what would happen,my service may be in danger.this thought [tension] kept striking for months in my mind and i fell in deprission. i given up meeting people,talking,going out. i went on duty unwillingly as a formality. i was not interested in anything and spent all of my time fallen in bed remebring god for help.i became careless about eating,taking bath, personal appearance making save.i lost selfconfidence. negative thoughts of all life became together as there had never been anything positive in my life. hands and feet became lifeless [i could not find proper word] .i often thought that life is idle and started thinking about suicide.when i used to come home after two or three weeks, my parents used to asked me if there was something wrong but i was not ready to tell anything to them after nearabout one year when my parents were informed about my abnormal condition by someone. i was taken to hospital ,the psychatrist advised to admit me,i was admiddet in hospital and given high doses[injections and tablets] after one week i was discharged from hospital.i was feeling good,confident.docter prescribed medicines and said that it will take some months.after that whenever i went to docter he used to gave me a injection [i think it was dizapam] and prescribe medicine for a month or two. since then this chain is going on .during all this time i got married,and became father. i feel well or depressed alternately , usually i feel worse in winter.[i also become upset when there is more mental work.]the thought of date of bills starts striking in my mind,[only once during these years the depression came first and the thought of date came later]negative thoughts become dominent.other symptoms-slowness of mind, decreased efficiancy,lack of self confidence, physical weakness,not interested in anything,memory decreases,i want to remain in bed most of time, hands palpitates, i am unable to write properly.when my health starts improving,i feel a liittle better in evening.the docter decreases or increases the dose accordingly.sleep and b.p.is normal. medicines i am taking sertraline hcl-50 twice a day fluvoxamine-50 half at night alpralozam [later replaced by clonazepam- 0.25] twice a day in 2011 i went to a homeopath in begginig there was some improvement,but later all in vain after one year of treatment in 2012 i went to a another homeopath ,after one month i felt a little better,after that there was improvement nearabout 60% .i was happy ,allopathic medicines were reduced [half] slowly,but from november 2012 i begun to feel depressed again,this time the old thought of date changing did not came in my mind,but an other document related thought became tension for me,i had never thought that it can be a reason for tension for me. homeopathic treatment is continue,and allopathic medicines have been increased,now march 2013 i am feelling little better [i dont know due to increased allopathic medicines or homeopathy] i dont know the prescription of the both homeopaths.
about me
1.i am introvert,emotional,honest
2.i want to do every work perfectly,if there is a little lack in my work,it strikes in my mind until i remove it.
3.things of little importance make me worry
4.i am very sensitive to everything like smell,fragrence,noise ,sometimes when a child cry loudly,it buzzs in my mind.when writing if there is any irregularity in the structure of letters or words it becomes a worry for me
5.i dont like cold weather. i am pure vegitarian.i dont drink and smoke 6.i like less chilly in food
7.in summer i drink a lot of water,i perspire a lot ,also in palms and soles
8.in winter my scalp and skin becomes rough,my hair are falling.
9.when i am not depressed, i feel confident,write more confidently,sometimes i remeber the thought of date,but it dont tease me.
10.i m good speaker.i participate in competitions and gets prize.i keep doing new things.i write poems also
11.my left eye is weak from childhood
12.There are two spots in front of right eye, they move, in which direction i see
Spots ars more clear in white background for example when i see the clouds ,i see the spots more clear.

Dr Mahfooz had advised nat.mur.1m single dose,after that
kali phos 30 and ashwagandha q,both thrice a day
till may 2013 there was improvement(20-25%),after that there was no improvement.
i felt that nat.mur. is more suitable for me and i started nat.mur. 30x and Kali phos 30. alternately(nearabout one week every madicine)
Day by day i felt better, then i started nat.mur. 30c and kali phos 30
there was lot of improvement till november 2013.I reduced allopathy medicines one by one and very slowiy and stopped.
(Dr mahfooz had forbidden for nat.mur. but there was good improvement so i continued)

There was a lot of improvement till november 2013(80%), but as it happenss in every winter, in december 2013 i fell in depression once again with new negative thoughts [not old one] i started allopathy medicines which were stopped but there is a little improvement.i am taking kali phos 30 and nat.mur.30 alternately,but nothing is helping.i am very depressed.plz guide further.
Thanks!