Suffering from chronic depression and fatigue

Additional information regarding me is -

Age - 38
Gender - Male
Weight - 72 Kg
Height - 167 cm

Thanks.

Hello homeo.mzp,
Thanks! for considering my case. I shall reply back with filled up questionnaire soon.
Thanks again.

Hello homeo.mzp,
please, find the filled up questionnaire as follows -

1. Age,sex,weight,body and face appearance, country, occupation.
ANS. Age: 38 years, Weight: 72 Kg, Body: Average build, Face appearance: normal, Height: 167 cm, Married: Yes, Country: India, Occupation: IT Services
Additional Information about my eating and drinking habits:
Food - Vegetarian; Alcohol Drinking - No; Smoking - No; Coffee - No; Tea, green tea, black tea - Occasionally

2. Main complaints and other associated troubles.
a)Where is the trouble; The exact locality of the complaint like hands,legs etc; duration of trouble.
ANS. Main complaint: More of a Mental kind of problem.

Suffering from depression from quite a long time, probably from more than 10 years. It is there, associated with a feeling of grief, sorrow, tiredness,
fatigue, lethargy, sleepiness and drowsiness. The fatigue, tiredness, lethargy I feel constantly in mind and not in body to be precise. This sense of
fatigue, tiredness and lethargy lingers in mind with feeling of sleepiness and drowsiness, this happens with me on daily basis. Since, morning
till early evening. In the evening, I feel almost fine, and in night it usually becomes quite late while I go to sleep, i.e. no matter how much I try to sleep early, I sleep at around 2:00 AM in night, wasting time watching TV or doing some useless thing in internet. Thus, it has become a habit for me to go to sleep late in night. By depression I mean as if I have lost the interest in life, the enthusiasm, the charm of life. Always feel dull, depressed, down, with low or no energy at all for daily work activities. Nothing seem to interest me much, to give a purpose and reason to live a happy and cheerful life.

Depression is accompanied with me with a sense of low self esteem, lack of confidence, there is always a despair, gloominess and despondency
in my mind. And when I observe myself then I find that it has become a habit for me to be and remain in a disheartened state of mind, in a gloomy,
despondent and despair state of mind. As if I have lost the battle of life. And it has become my attitude that I accept defeat before the battle begins and start thinking negatively about any thing which I am about to do or I have to do in near future.

I think about myself as if I have some basic mental dis-functioning, i.e. my mind has some major defect, I think myself to be low in intelligence,
imbecile, dumb sort of guy. Not having a mind sharp enough. I observe myself to be slow in thinking, slow in learning, slow in analyzing, processing and
even slow in responding, when someone gives some information to me and asks about my response, I find myself analyzing, processing and responding in a very slow speed, i.e. slower than usual.

I find myself overly critical about others, I keep on making good or bad opinions about people on their seemingly innocent and natural activities, behaviors and statements. Also, I am not a social kind of guy. May be because of this depression issue, I find myself socially aloof and not with many friends. I don't like interacting with people, I remain withdrawn, introvert and aloof. And when there comes the time to do some talking with them, it really takes effort from me when I talk and speak with someone. When it becomes inevitable to talk and speak with someone, I find that I really have to make an effort and spend a lot of amount of energy and attention while talking. And even after a brief talk I find myself exhausted and sucked out of energy. It may be because, when I am not talking, during that time I have become habitual of being engrossed and sucked into my negative state of mind, which is a part of depression I am suffering from I think.

when I am with my self all alone, I find myself engulfed in a thinking loop. I find myself constantly, thinking about my weaknesses, my bad habits, loopholes in my personality etc. and my mind keep on criticizing about myself and keeps on showing me the areas in which I need improvement to become a better and successful person. So, I find my mind keeps on counting about weaknesses in me, the negative attributes in me, that I am suffering from depression, lack of concentration, weak memory, so on and so forth. During this time of self critical analysis, my thinking becomes very slow, very analyzing, so as to pick precisely the weaknesses in me. And during this process my mind thinks about me in a very negative way. My mind automatically goes in self analysis mode, and one by one starts picking up bad things about me one after the another. Because of this, repeated and continuous thinking, and bad thoughts about me, I feel pain, heaviness, and burning sensation from the back of my head till the center of head.

And, whenever I am with people I become a very shy, nervous, timid, bashful person. Since, because of this negative thinking and negative self analysis, me and my mind have lost faith in myself and my capabilities, so, amongst people, I feel my self as a handicapped person with utter lack of confidence. And I find my self feeling and behaving as a very submissive person, who is easily dominated and directed by others to do things which they want and like me to do. I find my self as a person, who does not have a sense of identity, who does not have a sense of self, who is not confident enough, who lacks strong will, who does not take a stand, and does not have an independent opinion of his own, one who lacks courage and confidence. In office, I really find myself fearing my colleagues and supervisors for no reason whatsoever. I feel shy, timid, nervous, anxious, bashful, introvert, withdrawn, aloof in office during working hours, lest they find about my real self, which is so incompetent, incapable and crippled, not able to do any thing.


b)What exactly do you feel, Sensation as pain, how pain feels or burn etc.
ANS. I feel pain, heaviness, and burning sensation from the back of my head till the center of head. Feel tiredness, fatigue, sleepy, drowsiness in
office hours during daytime. This feeling of fatigue and tiredness is not in body, it is in mind and in head to be precise.

c)What are the factors that causes this trouble according to you.
ANS. I feel depressed when I am alone with my own self, and feel timid, shy, in-confident when with and around people.


d)Condition under which the complaint is reduced or you feel better like,cold or hot application,cold or hot weather,position as standing,walking,rest etc.
ANS. Conditions seem to improve when doing rest. I would like to take rest and like to lay down at any given time of the day.

e)Condition under which the complaint is increased like,cold or hot application,cold or hot weather,position as standing,walking,rest etc.
ANS. I become aware about depression as soon as I am alone with myself, and feel in-confident, timid, shy, nervous, anxious, aloof, withdrawn when around people.

f)Any other complaint any where in the body.
ANS. I have been suffering from the problem of acidity since the same time. Sometimes, after having spicy food, I feel burning sensation around and below the center of chest. I also have a bulging tummy.

g)Onset time of troubles in detail, i.e which came first, after that what problem and so on.
ANS. Depression has been affecting me from more 10 years or so. I became, more acutely aware about this problem recently when my job started getting affected from this and when it started influencing my performance negatively in my work/job. Then I tried to recall back, about how long I have been having these symptoms, and I can trace them back to more than 10 years.

h)Treatment method adopted and its result.
ANS. Did some yoga, pranayama etc, but to no avail.

3. History of diseases in family.
ANS. Father was also suffering from depression. Grand mother had a very short temper, she was whimsical, aggressive and dominating woman.

4. Personal History.
a)About childhood.
ANS. Had a childhood with some serious issues. Since childhood, my elder brother has been and still is very accusative, scoffing and scolding towards me, he always tries to show that he is more smart and I am a dumb fellow. He used to and still whenever gets chance interferes in my personal and private issues. Has always tried and still tries to dominate me, tries to put me down in every situation. He tries to prove that I am wrong in whatever I think, say or do. As if I don't have a mind and intelligence of my own. My parents didn't like his attitude towards me, but they don't stop him either from behaving so badly and negatively towards me. Similar, was the nature of my grand mother, she was very short tempered, whimsical, aggressive and dominating personality. She and my elder brother used to single me out for scolding and scoffing for every thing I used to do. She is no more now. But I am not in talking terms with my elder brother either. My father has expired too. I really feel insecure whenever I think about my elder brother, i.e. if he comes before me at any given moment, I would loose control and cool of my mind, and would start reacting angrily to his allegations, accusations, scoffing and scolding. However, now me and my brother live separately in different towns, and we are not in talking terms with each other, but still whenever I think about him I start loosing my confidence. I do harbour anger, hatred and hard feeling towards him, no doubt about it. My father was also an alcoholic, frequent smoker. My relationship with my father was not healthy either, because I used to think and feel that it was his duty to protect me from my grand mother and elder brother, in which he failed badly. So, one can say that I come from a dysfunctional family, where no body cared for each other, the way people care for one another usually in a family.


b)Academic performance.
ANS. Average.

c)Any major incidents in life and the effect of it on life.
ANS. Since childhood I have been singled out for accusations, allegations, scoffing and scoldings by my elder brother and my grand mother. Even my
paternal aunt and his husband had so many times used bad language against me, and no body came to protect me. I have these bad memories, which really put me down a lot. I have always been put down and subjugated whenever I tried to say something and expressed my independent opinion. My elder brother and grand mother were always against me, and my parents used to turn a blind eye towards their bad behaviour.

d)How you are satisfied with your sex life, friends, family members, company etc.
ANS. I don't have frequent sex with my wife. This depressive state of my mind has worn off her interest in sex it seems. And after having sex or masturbation, I feel more heaviness, congestion, pain and burning sensation in head. But I do masturbation once in a week. No matter, how much I try to avoid it. But some how I start watching porn and do masturbation once in a week basis. Fortunately, I have very good friends, inspite of all these draw backs, I have a small group of childhood friends with whom I had studied in starting classes in school. I don't hold any grudge against my mother and sister, apart from these, I used to have hard feelings for my grand mother and father when these both were alive, and still have these hard feelings towards my elder brother as well.

5. Habits/Addiction.
a)Smoking, Alcohol,Sleeping pills, Laxative etc.
ANS. No, No, No, Isabgol husk sometimes.

b)Masturbation and frequency.
ANS. Once a week, while watching porn. Have tried hard enough to get over this bad habit but to no avail.
In normal course of life, I get easily excited seeing a beautiful girl or a woman.

6. How is your Appetite and Thirst.
ANS. Normal.

7. Likes and Dislikes.
a)Alcohol Bread Butter Bitter Salt Sweet Sour Fats Milk Mud Chalk Egg Spicy food Meat Fish Fruits Fried Food
Warm food-drink Cold food-drink Ice Ice cream Chocolates Tea Coffee.
ANS. No alcohol, I like salty food more than sweet taste. No non vegetarian food. I like warm food and take tea a couple of times a day.
No coffee etc.

b)Anything else about like and dislike of any activity with you or surrounding.
ANS. I observe people very critically and start judging them and start making opinions about them very early. I find my self cold at heart, not exuding
warmth to people, not having friendly attitude towards them in general. A bit standoffish you can say. This is what I don't like about myself either, but can't help it. I remain timid, shy, nervous in public places and around people in general. I easily become over conscious when interacting with people or a group of people, and more so, very easily in work place in my job (don't know why, pls help!).

8. Bowel movements.
a)Nature of stool, frequency, satisfactory or not.
ANS. Not properly shaped, comes in small pieces, have to go to loo in morning couple of times successively.

b)Any discomforts associated with stool.
ANS. Have to usually go to loo a couple of times in the morning for properly evacuation.

9. Urine.
a)Frequency, nature, volume.
ANS. Normal. But having kidney stones in both kidneys. Had kidney pain last year, then it was diagnosed in ultra sound.

b)Any discomfort before, during or after urination/odour
ANS. No.

10. For men.
a)Any difference in erection/want of erection/weak erection/Ejaculation early/late.
ANS. Erection is normal. But ejaculation occurs early while doing sex.

b)Any other trouble in sex.
ANS. No.

11. For Females.
a)Menses, Regular, Irregular,Early, Late.
ANS.
b)Duration of menses.
ANS.
c)Nature of flow, Scanty, Blood colour, Consistency, Odour, Staining, itching/ when and what makes it worse/better.
ANS.

12. Sleep.
a)The quality of sleep, the quietness or restlessness of sleep,
position of sleep, times of waking and reasons for waking,
need for cover over various parts of the body,
whether the window must be open or closed etc.
common dreams, peculiar sounds or gestures during sleep, etc.
ANS. Quality: Good, Quiet sleep, Position: normal, I go to sleep usually late in night at around 1:30 AM and wake up
late in morning at 8:00 AM. Reason for waking: can't sleep for longer duration as have to go to office, although if allowed to
sleep, can sleep for hours. Cover: Yes, I like to cover myself while sleeping. Window: like the window to be closed.
No dreams during sleep, but experience jerks in body while sleeping after doing sex or masturbation.


13. Sweat
a)How much, what parts, staining, Odour.
ANS. Sweat comes easily, mostly in forehead, face, neck, chest. No staining. No odour as such.
But my natural odour of under arms is very foul and offensive since childhood.

14. Weather
a)Tolerance to heat and cold, dryness, humidity, weather changes, sun,
foggy weather, wind drafts, closed rooms, etc.
ANS. Can't tolerate excessive hot or cold. But usually I prefer hot weather than cold. Prefer dryness in weather than humidity. Don't like
changes in weather as it sometimes but not always triggers sneezing attacks in me. I prefer sunny weather than fog. I like breezing wind. I like open places, with breezy wind blowing than closed rooms.

15. Mental Status
a)The quality of the patient's life in relationship to loved ones, family, friends and colleagues. Overall quality of energy available to function in daily life, and under various circumstances.
ANS. Low quality of life w.r.t relationship with loved ones. I had grudges towards my grand mother and father, when they were alive. My grand mother used to scoff and scold my like anything along with my elder brother and my father used to turn a blind eye towards them. I still harbour anger towards my elder brother. I think normally about my mother and sister only. I have normal but not very satisfying relationship with my wife. I have good relations with my friends. I am over concerned, anxious about my colleagues. I feel timid, nervous, anxious, bashful, aloof, withdrawn, standoffish in work place and around my colleagues for no reason whatsoever. Overall quality of energy: low energy, feeling dull, depressed, gloomy, hopeless for no reason whatsoever, during normal functions and circumstances in daily life.

b)Any mental/emotional shocks occurring in the patient's life-grief, major financial losses separation from loved ones, death, identity crisis and other stress in life.
ANS. Had couple of love affairs (3 to be precise), which were not successful. They might have impacted me emotionally as I still sometimes think about those girls. Death of my grand mother and my father has really shocked and shaken me. I feel guilty for bearing grudges and hard feelings towards my grand mother and father now.

c)Memory,ability to concentrate/comprehend.
ANS. Memory: Not good, Concentration: not able to concentrate. Attention span is very low (probably 2 minutes). As while I study or read something my mind as it is its habit, it starts speaking something inside and I get diverted towards the inner voice of my mind and it seems to decrease the quality of attention and focus which I have to give to topic I am studying and/or reading right now. Comprehension: I think I am bad at comprehension because of lack of concentration.

d)Are you fearful of anything eg: Animals, people, being alone, darkness, death, disease, robbers, thunder, storm, high places.
ANS. Fear: of people, of colleagues (in office), of supervisor (in office) for no apparent reason. Fear: darkness.

e)Are you anxious about anything: if yes, give details.
ANS. About my work/job, about being around colleagues in office.

f)Are you impatient.
ANS. No. But around people in general and around colleagues in particular, Yes.

g)Are you doubtful or suspicious.
ANS. Yes, very much doubtful and suspicious.

h)Are you hurt easily (emotionally)how do you react. Does it cause hatred/revenge.
ANS. Yes. I get hurt easily and react very easily and promptly from and at emotional level to any incident occurred.
I feel revengeful, although I have never taken any revenge, but I do feel revengeful a lot. Don't feel hatred, but if some one has hurt me,
then I would avoid facing him and would try to avoid him as long as possible.

i)Does your pride get hurt easily.
ANS. Yes.

j)Are you depressed, if so, reason/circumstances.
ANS. Yes. Don't know why I am depressed but as far back as I can remember, I am suffering from depression from quite a long time.
i.e. it has been around more than 10 years now.

k)Do you like to share your problems.
ANS. Very rarely, with my close friend(s) only.

l)Effect of consolation.
ANS. I feel supported and feel good.

m)Do you ever become suicidal when? How.
ANS. No.

n)Memory- quality if poor, for what ( eg. Names, places, people, what you read).
ANS. Memory quality is poor for what I read. For names, places or people it is normal.

o)Do you weep easily, effect of weeping, ie, does it make you worse or better.
ANS. No.

p)Are you easily irritated. What makes you angry, how do you express it.
ANS. Yes. Any small thing which does not goes my way. I usually don't express it in general and accept it although half-heartedly.

q)Are you destructive.
ANS. Not at physical level. But don't cooperate with people at mental and emotional level either, by being and behaving
withdrawn, aloof, standoffish and introvert. If I am behaving this way, I think I am destructive at mental and emotional level.

r)How good are you in making decisions.
ANS. Not good enough.

s)Do you like company or like to remain alone.
ANS. I like company of my mother, friends. And for no apparent reason, I don't know why I don't like the
company of my colleagues in my work place/office.

t)How seriously are you affected by disorder and uncleanness in your surroundings.
ANS. Not much affected.

u)How does failure appear to you?
ANS. My careless attitude and lack of sense of responsibility results in failure.

v)Are there any matters that you deeply dislike?
ANS. I dislike when someone tells me how to do something, whether at home or at workplace.

w)What activities you deeply like? How does it affect your mood?
ANS. Music, watching TV, reading newspaper, nature, open places to enjoy nature.

x)Are you affectionate? How does others sorrow affect you?
ANS. To some people (e.g. my wife, my friends) I am affectionate. Though, not affectionate in general. In general I come across and behave as if I am withdrawn, aloof, standoffish, introvert.

y)Any present fears in your life or future.
ANS. Fear of loosing job. Because of these mental un-stabilites I am not able to cope up with job and not able to perform as expected.
Fear of colleagues and supervisor, for no apparent reason. Become, timid, shy, bashful around colleagues in work place.

z)Any present life or future life desires.
ANS. Want to have a successful career.

Hello Homeo.mzp,
Thanks for the prescription. However, needed to clear one doubt. As asked, I have to report back after 20 days. During that duration do i have to take only 2 doses of prescribed remedy? 1st dose before going to sleep and second dose the next morning after waking up. Please, remove my doubt.
Thanks again.

okay.. thanks.
i have taken the prescribed doses, i shall be reporting back to you after 20 days.
thank you.

Hello homeo.mzp,

please, find the progress report as follows -

there seemed to be some improvement in my condition initially. however, now, i feel a bit less depressed in comparison to previously. but still depressing thoughts do come to my mind often. however, there is less feeling of gloominess, despondency and hopelessness, but i still feel that nobody cares for me. and i do feel myself alone with a sense of loneliness. also, there are some other symptoms as well, which are -

there is one thought which keeps on lingering in my mind that i would never be able to cure myself from this depression and if some how cured, it would relapse to earlier/previous depressed state of mind, i.e. i doubt my capabilities to cure myself from this depression. Thus, i have become so much identified with this depression and negative thought patterns that i am not able to imagine myself without these negative traits. also, i always find myself worrying and anticipating negative things to happen in future. if i have something to do or something is going to happen in near future, i start worrying and anticipating negative things about the event and because of this habit, things get goofed up eventually.

i think for myself that i don't deserve and i am unworthy of good things in life such as money, success, wealth, healthy social and financial life etc. i seem to be suffering from some kind of self guilt, think myself undeserving and unworthy of good things in life. there feels some kind of emotional, mental or functional blockage in my mind. there seems to be a lot of dullness, inactivity, inertness, laziness, sleepiness and lethargy. i find myself procrastinating a lot for the tasks which i am supposed to do, but i keep on thinking about these tasks and don't take any actions for them. i find myself doubting my own capabilities, i seem to lack a healthy self image about myself and lack in positive self esteem, i seem to lack self confidence. i don't have faith in myself. also, i feel very sleepy all the time through out the day, very lethargic... (pls help!). also, i feel very sleepy, lethargic and exhausted after having coitus with wife.

also, there is a feeling of congestion, heaviness and pain in my head, from the back of my head towards the center. this feeling of congestion, heaviness and pain in my head, keeps on lingering most of the time. hence, i seem to lack concentration and focus while doing study or work, mind seems restless, agitated, uneasy and anxious while doing study or any other task which requires focus and concentration.

also, there seems to be a fear of people (anthrophobia) from which i am suffering, as i become so nervous, timid, anxious while around people whether known or unknown.

also, more often then not, i feel unloved and uncared for.

Thanks.

Hello homeo.mzp,

Thanks for the remedy prescription. I shall follow the doses and report back to
you after 20 days for any changes/improvements in state of mind.

Thanks again.

hello homeo.mzp,

needed to ask one thing. actually before undergoing the treatment for depression, i was taking clearstone drops from (SBL) to remove kidney stones, 3 to 4 times a day. it is having mother tincture for some 4-5 homeopathic remedies. please, advice if i can resume taking the same while undergoing treatment for depression, as i have stopped taking these clearstone drops altogether since i started prescription remedy for depression.

thanks.

hello homeo.mzp,

thanks for advice..

regards.