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Seeking constitutional remedy for social phobia Page 15 of 20

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It will take some thought because I tend to not be as aware of my physical body as I am of my mental state. My main physical complaint is the headaches which I have complained about before. It is mostly on the right side, and I think it is caused by TMJ or something like that, in the right side of my jaw. It is accompanied by nausea and a general crummy feeling. I don't know how to describe the pain but it makes me want to drive something into my skull to make it stop (which I know would not be a practical solution.)It is better if I spend a lot of time massaging my head or stretching, or if I take prescription strength pain pills. It is worse from being yelled at but I'm not sure what else, nobody yells at me anymore but I still get the headaches sometimes. I also have a lot of tension in my neck and shoulders and they hurt sometimes too, and that's the area where my tension seems to concentrate. Worse on the right side. My tension is always better after I use my voice, like if I sing for a while or read a story to my son. That helps release it. But I am generally too inhibited to use my voice much, and I resent having people around too much because I feel like it pushes all my energy down and I can't move freely. For example I live in a duplex with thin walls so I don't dare sing because I'm afraid the neighbors can hear. If I could push through that fear and shake off the control that I imagine people have over me then I know I would feel a lot better but I would also feel exposed, and then people would have new stuff to rub my face in and I would be driven inside all over again.

The headaches are also helped by physical contact, like if I can rest my head on someone, or on a pet.

I have a recurrent pain in the left side of my abdomen, about an inch to the left of my navel. It gets a little sharper every year. Years ago it felt like a purely emotional pain, like that sort of gnawing that goes along with loneliness or sadness. Then it developed into a dull physical pain and now I get sharp pains there sometimes. Maybe an ulcer? But there are no digestive symptoms, only the pain. It is worse when I feel lonely or rejected.

Sensitivity to lights and noise and motion. Difficulty with processing when there is too much going on.

I will think more about it.
 
LisaX last decade
Ok, yeah that is helpful. Please add more whenever you get a chance.

Sameer
 
sameervermani last decade
Thank you, we are doing well. Things are not as bleak as I make them out to be. :) Hope you are well too.
 
LisaX last decade
I have a growth on the tip of my nose which I've been told is a small tumor. It's small and pink like a pimple. I've had it since I was about 20.

I get frequent sore throats. The top back of my throat feels raw, and sometimes it feels like it is swelling up, and I have to clear my throat or hum to reassure myself that it's still normal. I think it somehow comes from the impossibility of speaking. Today I feel like I would like to cry out or something but I can't.

My health seems ok lately so I don't know which symptoms are already gone. There are things I used to have but that I haven't noticed in a while. Like I used to have the panic attacks and the trouble with breathing but I haven't had that in a long time, but the last time I had one it had been a long time too so I don't know.

More later.
 
LisaX last decade
Okay, I'll have a look when you add more stuff.
 
sameervermani last decade
Another thing is my feet get hot at night. I've even had to rub them with ice before but it only helps while I'm doing it so I've learned to just live with it.
 
LisaX last decade
Plus sometimes when I first stand up I get dizzy and can't see for a few seconds.
 
LisaX last decade
I think, the following remedy is very close:

http://www.modernhomoeopathy.com/aids_nosode_proving.htm

It has the child-like feeling of vulnerability which you once brought up, and strong themes of being an outcast, rejection, and isolation.

Let me know what you think.
 
sameervermani last decade
That sounds intriguing but scary. How strong is your feeling about it?
 
LisaX last decade
There is nothing scary in it as many of the homeopathic remedies are made from infected bloods or discharges.

I tried searching your rubrics and found this strange rubric only in this remedy.

'MIND - DELUSIONS - child - he is a child - vulnerable; and '

I have never used this remedy before but if we understand the depth of the disease substance that it is made from, I would expect it to be a very deep acting remedy.

Please look at the symptoms that it caused during a proving here (go to repertory section):

http://www.hominf.org/aids/aidsfr.htm

Look at the themes here in the materia medica section:

http://www.hominf.org/aids/aidsfr.htm
 
sameervermani last decade
take beryllium 1m
 
bpnsiufb50 last decade
Lately I've been very much in Cinderella mode, so I want whatever you would give her if she were your patient. There is the downtroddenness and exclusion that you would see with something like Lac Caninum, but there is also hidden pride, a secret conviction that one is being picked on for being special. Combined with idealism, a vivid imagination, magical thinking, etc.

(The pride has been coming back more and more but it does nothing to reduce the sense of not belonging and of being trapped inside.)
 
LisaX last decade
Describe

1) Idealism
2) Vivid imagination
3) Downtrodden
4) Magical thinking
5) Exclusion
6) Not belonging
7) Trapped Inside
 
sameervermani last decade
Trapped inside: Like my throat is tied in knots. Or like my vital force is locked inside a box. Or like someone has stolen my voice. I want to be free but there is a feeling of not being able to do anything directly, I can only do things indirectly. I pull all my energy inside. I never speak unless I'm asked a direct question because I don't think I have an invitation to, I can't find the opening. I am always adapting to everyone else, like I don't think I have permission to exist. The only way to healing is to interact directly with the world, but it seems impossible.

Exclusion: Related to the previous. Being out of the loop, basically. Like that story I told about the first day of Kindergarten. My class played a game where we formed a circle and threw a ball around, and I was the only person nobody threw it to. That was the first thing I learned in school: everyone was in the loop but me.

I recently went to a large family gathering and I really noticed for the first time that I don't exist to my non-immediate family. I went there with my sister, and they all greeted her and asked how she was doing, and it was like I wasn't even there.

Any time I am with any group of people I always feel like the other people are together and I'm on the outside of it.

I don't want to be presumptuous so I assume until I get an explicit invitation that I'm not invited to join the group. And even when I get the explicit invitation, I have no idea how to be part of a group. I have been on the outside for so long that I feel like there is no common language. A relationship would have to develop slowly over time, and people don't have the patience for that, they give up immediately and move on to something more sparkly.

I'll get to the other questions but I had new physical symptoms last night which I will report. I had a strange burning sensation which started in my stomach and spread through my body. The headache has moved to the left top of my head, a new spot for it. I had ringing in my right ear which started right after something shifted in my jaw. I'm having yeast problems again. Probably because all I've felt like eating is sweets and cheese.
 
LisaX last decade
Not belonging: Also related to the above. There isn't any place in the world where I feel like I fit in.

I've reached the limit of my explaining power for today. More later.
 
LisaX last decade
Downtrodden:
I've already talked about my family when I was growing up, and about my marriage, so there's no need to tell the same things again, but I've been insulted and abused a lot, I've been dragged through the dirt. Nobody will stand up for me or take my side because the other people are more socially adept. I have been repeatedly treated like a criminal when I'm not one, I've been falsely arrested, I've been accused of stealing, prostitution, and being on drugs, all with no evidence. I've been poor all my life, and people can always tell, maybe because my clothes are shabby, and maybe it just shows in the way I carry myself. I have no power, nobody listens to me.
 
LisaX last decade
I would recommend the a-i-d-s remedy I mentioned above in a 200c dose, just 1 dose, and report back in 2 weeks after it.
 
sameervermani last decade
I have actually seen a patient who needed this particular nosode. One case isn't enough to know everything about a remedy, but it provided me with a valuable insight into its state.

The patient talked alot about her health, about how disadvantaged she was in her health compared to others. She did alot of comparing herself to others. She felt disconnected from the world of normal people, she felt like a ghost, like she was fading away. She said her life was diminishing, shrinking, reduced to the most basic struggle for survival - eat, drink, sleep, breathe. There was a desperation in her, she felt helpless and didn't know who to turn to for help. She felt like her life was ending, like the life was draining away out of her. She was hollow, like someone had scooped her strength out. She would look around at other people in the world, people who were healthy and normal, and she felt left out, felt like she didn't belong, as if she was being left behind while the rest of the world went forward into the future.

I believe this state perfectly matched the substance from which the nosode is made - the blood of a man dying from aids. Just the fact that it is taken from someone dying can be seen in the expressions she used. She was disconnected from people who were living their lives, while she was slowly losing hers. She was not dying by the way, this feeling was out of proportion to the complaint (which was a kind of CFS).
 
brisbanehomoeopath last decade
Thanks David. I have never used this remedy, but was intrigued to find some of Lisa's key symptoms (at the core delusion level) in the proving.
 
sameervermani last decade
I think it is potentially a remedy with great usefulness for us.
 
brisbanehomoeopath last decade
Ok, I will order it.
 
LisaX last decade
Where can I get it? Helios doesn't seem to have it.
 
LisaX last decade
Hi- go on Remedia Homeopathy-
250 yr old europe pharmacy-

puts Aids nos. in the search box
and it will show up-

They take about same time to get
to you as Helios.
 
simone717 last decade
Took it 5 weeks ago. No noticeable improvement.
 
LisaX last decade
Maybe there is something subtle. I will give it more time.
 
LisaX last decade
Okay.
 
sameervermani last decade

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