Back pain, acne, anxiety. sulphur? please help _{Page 10 of 11}

I had just written this before you post. maybe it will help:

Hi Sameer,

I know your traveling, so take your time responding. I just wanted to write this before you spend time formulating all of my symptoms again.

I was thinking that maybe it would make sense for me to talk more in detail about the way my tonsils swell and that could narrow down remedies to a handful that we can then both look over?

-generally, large tonsils the size of walnuts
-tonsil sickness at least once a year, in the past 2-3 times a year
-swelling and tonsils get covered with whitish/yellowish spots and this smells bad
-warm liquids make throat feel better
-sometimes, if spots start to come off, new ones form

Also, if i am sick with a fever-- I am not thirsty and i get chills and shake and also get really hot but even if i am sweating I like to stay covered.


Sulphur has not done anything(i thought it was well indicated from reading up). I was also reading about Psorinum, how it is a remedy to use when sulphur is indicated and fails. I read also that it a psoric nosode, and since you have been saying that my symptoms are sycotic, this may not fit.

recent symptoms: (these aren't new either and not all of them of course. would it help for me to make a new and extensive list for you?

I can also enter my symptoms into the abcsoftware, but I feel like many important symptoms from hering, for instance, are missing as options here)

phys

-chill easily and takes a little while to warm up,
-like window open, fresh air
-wake to pee in early morning few times
-constipated
-small spot on skin feels like tiny gust of wind is blowing or tiny insect crawlling
-left eye inner corner sharp pain recurring daily, sometimes twice daily
-scalp-pimple with pus


mental

-hate waking- going back to reality- wish i would never wake up- sad to return to all the cares and nothing not unhappy
-wake angry(cat was meowing and woke my up, i threw her on couch)
-face and body feels warmer from anger
-sometimes want to cry if i am really frustrated and angry
-violent impulses(like with the cat) i get this impulse with wanting to push people that frustrate me too, but don't act on it
-ive been sad so i want to be around bf but then get irritated and need my space and push him away
-sadness, hopelessness, think about dying a daily-- in a wish i was dead sort of way, maybe a car could hit me fatally
-enjoy rainy weather, storms
-haven't been wanting to listen to music lately, makes me sad
-absentminded, say wrong things, cant focus or listen, make mistake i was careful to think about not making
-always in a hurry and there is not enough time, worried about being late
-never get anything done, lazy, don't enjoy anything
-can't relax without watching tv, or something thing to distract, otherwise i worry about what i should do/could have done
-social anxiety and much anxiety about upcoming social events
-social event, even like a class with other people, exhausts me and i need time to recover after

ok, after reading about merc sol, i can see how it may be me-- impressionable, inability to deflect thoughts which causes worry, closed, sensitive to slight changes which aggravate, hurry without getting anything done, inability to feel much sympathy, violent thoughts, etc

I'll try to get some soon.. maybe whole food will have it

I might wait a few days before i take it just to give my body a break but I will be in touch.

Hope your trip went well..

One more thing-- does it matter if i melt 2 pills in exactly 250ml or can it be an estimate? For sulphur i estimated because i couldn't find my measuring cup and now i'm thinking- what if the ratio is critical?


z

Hi Sameer,

It is 10 days since merc sol 30c. I can't really tell if its working for me or not. I have been feeling a little like the negative thoughts are a bit easier to turn away... but I have also been running more and doing some yoga and I know that this helps me to be more in my body and less in my head and worried. So far with this remedy, there haven't been big indicators like diarrhea with mental goodness or not needing as much sleep and eating less and having more energy.
When I am feeling bad, there are negative thoughts that keep going through my mind and i get stuck reacting to them and cannot let them pass. Also, I struggle with indecision where all day I think about something seemingly trivial, like whether or not to tell my boyfriend if I am going to see him that night or not, and trying to figure out what the best course of action to take. This should be no big deal, but I try to plan, map out, and control to see what will be a most rewarding outcome- how will I get the most done.
Also, I get anxious about things like responding to emails of friends. I put off writing to them because it takes me a lot of time and rewording and makes me anxious. I am worried about how it will sound, and what they will think of me.
I am always trying to get everything done and be productive but i get nothing done and have nothing to show for anything and feel like a failure.
Also, my eating habits have been overeating + eating everything in sight one day and not eating much the day after, alternating like that every other day.
There is 'all or nothing' attitude-- for example, either I keep a controlled diet and exercise plan, or if i go off it, it snowballs and I eat everything in sight and watch tv to numb out. Or, I make a list of things to do and i try to do it all at the same time or end up doing nothing and procrastinating.

here go the days:

Taken 10/10 evening- that night I was freezing on going to bed, especially my back and spine, even though I was completely covered

day1
-body and legs achy
-angry, slamming things around
-sad about lost love, want to cry
-chill then heat

day2
-angry in morning
-talking with friend makes me sad and think badly about myself
-temperature fluctuates, heat flushes
-negative thoughts wander and interfere
-sad thoughts wander into mind-regrets and comparisons
-feel far away from everyone else
-smells trigger memories of energies and past
-can perceive energy of everything around me but I am far away from it and experiencing the joy and relaxation of it is out of reach because there is always something hanging over
-wish to be alone and with people at the same time(to be alone to get things done and to be with someone to distract myself from the frustration of it)
-temperature fluctuates

day 3
-troubling dreams- woke up agitated before alarm
-thinking and worrying about lost love an waster potential
-cannot stop thinking sad things
-hot then cold then hot
-gassy
-unpleasant feeling in abdomen- what I call 'gut rot' feeling
-want to control everything and have it my way, unwilling to compromise-not as anxious and exhausted in social setting today,more able to communicate
-couldn't stop laughing, almost to tears
-in evening angry and want to be alone

day4
-sad thoughts go in mind and i can't get rid of them and react emotionally over and over and over
-got a massage today- felt sharp stitches/stabs in insides(can't tell if it was intestines or ovaries or what)
-my friend, the one who gave me massage, told me that my back is screwed and I am hunched and closing myself physically/emotionally(this sounds about right)
-didn't eat until 4 today
-stitches in bowels evening

day5
-morning crappy mood, sleepy
-pulse in back and joint
-side stitches during run

day6

didn't write anything this day but it was an ok one, decent mood


day7
-social setting today I felt less anxious and exhausted from it than I normally would
- ate too much this evening
-laughed so hard i cried
-face skin itchy


day8
-choking and coughing from saliva
-time feels more manageable
-disagreable thoughts but not as bad as before

day9
-instant nausea and vomit at noon(this was unusual)
-nausea and salivating, stomach feels 'off' all day, didn't eat most of the day today
-bloating
-stitching pains abdomen and back(these always pass quickly)
-chill
-cheeks hot
-left wrist has been hurting for days now
-right arm falls asleep when working on computer
-head pounding, goes away quickly



day10
-cranky, irritated and angry in morning, don't want to be touched. push boyfriend away
-song stuck in head
-cheeks flush with heat
-indecision-make up my mind an
-rush to do everything at once and end up procrastinating and distracting myself to keep from feeling like crap
-itchy stomach
-ate too much this evening
-flushed pink cheeks

Here are some other thoughts if you are not tired of reading:

-I get very cold easily. This has been more apparent now that the weather has been getting colder, but i get flushes of heat also. I seem to always be the opposite temperature of other around me.

-I spread myself too thin with directions/points of interest and don't get too deep into anything, seems like. Give myself things to do and feel overwhelmed. Can't pick a direction. Not satisfied with anything

-reading about mercury-- i agree with the communitcation part of mercury - that is the most important to me, but most of the time i feel trapped and without words and dumb and shy and timid, like a little kid who is scared. . .is there another remedy that addresses this? when i am physically sick i dont feel bad- i feel relieved because i can rest without stressing out that i am not accomplishing enough.. by sick, though, i mean flu, if i was sick with something like cancer my reaction might be different. . .

-i get colds from getting wet and cold

-always in a hurry

-not a clear communicator, jump around and depend on ther person to figure it out- especially in the case of close friends.


That's all for now. I don't know, maybe if we wait longer it will be more clear?

THANK YOU!! (as always)

z

I make lists of all these things to do at once and i start some and don't finish them and sometimes don't even start some and just worry about them and they hang over my head and turn into something monstrous and it makes it that much harder to do them(i guess this is called procrastination). I may start something, but even if its going well or not badly, i will not finish and be too nervous to continue.

I worry about dates to come and make a big deal out of events, especially social events and I want avoid them.

About laughing to crying----Sometimes, especially if i am overtired I will think something is really funny and get in a laughing fit and start to laugh uncontrollably (and slightly maniacally from what i've been told, like i'm 'losing it') and tears stream down my face and I start crying. Not sad crying, but the intensities of the laughter and crying match, and once in a while it has lead to real crying.

Also, today is day 11. I finally had coffee this morning for the first time since taking merc sol, and i don't know if this had anything to do with it, but my mood has been better today from about noon(3 hours after coffe). I get this way from time to time,meaning a better and more elated mood, so who knows if it will last, or if its moodiness. The coffee WASN'T very strong and I drink tea strong tea that's just as strong everyday anyway, except for 2 days within dose taking, so maybe it had nothing to do with it.

Here are some things from today:

-crappy mood in the morning-sad, hopeless, tired of life
-morning- a song stuck head
-about 12 noon, positive mood began
-brain goes off imagining hopeful situations(these always have to do with imagining being reunited with old friends or old loves and being able to express myself and communicate and be recognized. sometimes i catch myself mouthing words and acting out the situation)
-music makes me feel good- makes me feel emotions and empathize
-creative ideas(for drawings/prints, etc)
-feel more aware and present in my body
-excitable and jumping from one thing to another in conversation. get bored pretty quickly and move on
-song stuck in head

its a guy who i feel strongly about but who i know it never would work out with and he is always in the back of my thoughts somewhere and sometimes when he pops up i feel very sad and like i want to cry but i don't allow myself to because i don't want him to have that kind of an effect on me and i wish i had never met him sometimes. also, when i was feeling like this lastly, i was with my current boyfriend, and crying about a past guy wasn't a good idea

not yet

i researched it in the past, and i could see a lot of myself in it, but it seemed to be indicated in acute cases following a sad event

I will try it and be in touch.

I was also looking at Silica.. maybe we can look into that if Ignatia doesn't work out. I see Silica is inimical to Merc, so now must not be a good time anyway.

That good mood of a few days ago WAS moodiness.

Sameer, do you think we are getting closer to anything? At least tonsil swelling tendencies and moodiness limit possible remedy choices, right?

Sameer!

Hi, so I took Ignatia on October 25th. I started feeling mentally better on day 10 or 11 after taking it, and have been feeling more balanced, open, motivated ever since and able to let go of negative thoughts with more ease. Today is day 17..
Along with mental improvement I've also been feeling tired, back has been achy, and i feel like i am fighting off a cold. I take these as good signs that the remedy is correct.

I have a detailed list of symptoms I'll post soon,but until then- should I order another potency of Ignatia?

Thank you as always!!

z

Hi Sameer,

I ordered Ignatia200c.

I am still feeling pretty good(day 20). Yesterday was the first day I noticed myself stuck on something negative that happened and unable to let go of it. Today most of the day I have been good, but I do notice my mind ruminating more, thinking of old ex-boyfriends and feeling a little bit sad. I am still doing much better than before the Ignatia dose, but I am wondering if the 30c is beginning to wear off.

In the past-- Physically a good indicator of a correct remedy for me has been looser stool, since I am usually chronically constipated. However, around the time I took ignatia, I also discovered warm raw milk with ghee at bedtime and since I have been doing this, my bowel movements have been excellent. So, I don't know whether to attribute this to Ignatia or my ayurvedic readings and new food choices.

Here is a list of symptoms after taking Ignatia 30c(Just so that its on the record):

day 1 10/25/09
-took ignatia 30c in morning
-feel ok and have a bowel movement
-warts itch L hand
-talk with boyfriend- wanting to cry, sad, moody
-overate until feeling bloated and bad


2
-woke angry, can't get back to sleep
-bad mood in morning
-feel constipated and terrible from overeating
-some negatice thoughts comparing self to others and everything is bad and I am a failure
-feel as if I exist in my head, not in body
-in evening pulling pains in hips when lying for bed


3
-dreams of successful friend make me sad
-hot spot on face(cheek/around nose)
-painful acne pimples sprouting
-anger/slight violent impulse during day
-thinking of all i have to do and should be doing is overwhelming
-concerns about time, anger at bf for taking up my time
-anxious about things to do, wasted time, regrets
-scalp itches
-freezing when going to bed, had to wear hat, socks, warm sweatshirt

4
-bothering dreams, wake up concerned, sad worried-- about people from my past- this time old exboyfriends(its like my brain is my worst enemy. It brings things up in a way which make we worry and be sad)
-woke tired, body limbs tired, eyes watery, back tired, head tired-tormented by dreams and worried morning in bed, so i got up early
-woke a lot toward morning
-feel like this: what kind of being am i if i am not living life to the fullest and am hidng from the world and myself. i am wasting potential and any talents that i do have. i feel like a coward. i dont take risks at all
-stabbing inner eye corners
-pimples, esp under corners of mouth on chin
-stabbing stitches in intestines when bending over

5
-another miserable morning- woke up worried by stupid dreamsof ex's again
- worried and exhasuted and achy body
-dreams bother me after getting up and into morning
-alternating sharp stitches inner eye corners
-crave cheese and sweets, salty/sweet


6
-awoke after bothersome dreams (again with men from past), unrefreshed, tired, exhasuted
-poofy eyelids from eating salty last night(cheese)
-insufficient stool , constipated
-runny nose outside while biking and mucous hawking in morning
-after yoga better mood
-also, after strong chocolate drink(caffeine), better mood
-pimply skin everywhere- edges of face, temples, chin, under mouth corners down to chin
-after 5pm or so, feeling mentally better


7
-during an all day class- timid, polite, frustrated at myself that i am so polite and bla and unable to express myself
-exhausted after class
-very talkative, saying tactless things


8
-last night, waking from heartburn rising in throat choking me and making me cough
-nauseous in afternoon
-say scathing things, irritated
-sad mood, lonely, dont want to be alone but irritable when with bf
-nose cold
-swollen inner toe corner from nail cutting
-intense cutting pain right above navel a few times, once when bending over, other time just randomly
-head cold , want it covered up
-skin has been bad and scars on sides of chin from pimples that i have squeezed
-burning/itching around vagina and anus

9
-wake up sad, bothered. feels like i am doing something wrong.
-anxious about seeing friend this weekend, worried and obsessing about it
-going over things i did to see if they were wrong
-pimple on neck
-better mood after run and better mood from full moon

10
-twisted ankle
-saying wrong things/using wrong words
-in a hurry, feels like i should be doing something and have a hard time relaxing even after planning out my week and writing it all out

11
-cold sore mouth
-can't do 2 things at once- or talk and do something, mess up words or forget to do things
-3.5 bowel movements today.
-feel mentally great after shot of espresso
-small pimples back and chest and face
-more comunicative
-full of energy
-talking a lot today
-blue nails from coldness
-not good at multitasking YET want to do many things at once bec i get bored easily and am in a hurry and feel like i am behind,
evening
-noises frighten me- neighbour's dog yelping
rough thick skin back of left hand
-back aches
-freezing in evening and took a long time to warm up even with hat, socks, clothes, and heater blasting in face

12 (11/5/09)
-talkative, open, still feeling better

13
-pinching and itching around vagina
-dry/itchy skin on arms and scalp itchy
-hangover from drinking beer last night, but the mental depression from this is not very pronounced this time(ign?)


day 14
-mentall still feel much better
-I should be PMS-ing, but I am not sad nor constipated as usual
-skin itchier, acne worse, back hurts
-vagina has been sensitive and itchy
-get cold blue fingernails
-not overeating, motivated

15
-woke with stabbing in left ovary/uterine region, took 2 advil
-mood is still pretty good all day but irritable in evening and hard to fall asleep because of it

day 16
-still ok mood able to get over things, let things go- but takes a little more effort now.
-pains in intestines while doing yoga
-my temp seems to be independent of the environement and is often different than other people's around me

day 17
-still feeling better mentally
-snotty and fighting off a cold
tired
-back and neck tired and sore

18
-crawling on small parts of body(like an 1 ant crawls)

day 19
-felt good all day but in the evening something happened and kept bothering me and I had a hard time letting it go, hard time concentrating on other things

day20 (11/13/09)

-woke from bothersome dream of a successful friend talking down to me
-decent mood most of day
-sad thoughts wandering in- of ex's and comparisons
-temperature fluctuates



Phhew

that's that

I'll let you know when I get the Ign200c and how I feel then.

Hope you're doing well

z

Hey Sameer,

I received the ignatia 200c today.

I am feeling still much better than before i took ignatia- no significant mood swings or extreme sadness.

In the past 3-4 days I have had more worries- about my future, what i am doing with my life, etc, and some sad thoughts. Yesterday and today I am irritable and today getting quite angry over little things.

Do you think its time to take 200c?
(It has been 24 days since 30c dose)

Thank you as always

z

Hi stuckonyou,

Thanks for your commiseration.

I am Russian, and before that, Polish and Slavic.. no significant celtic blood that I know of.

The lost love thing has been big for me, but even before any of that took place and from a very young age, I have always felt like there was something wrong.. so I am not exactly sure where that began.

I hope you find peace in regard to this person who takes up your thoughts. Good luck to you.

-Zoloty

will do sameer, thanks

Hello Sameer,

Happy new year to you. I am sorry about not responding for so long.

Ignatia 200c didn't work for me.

I have since decided to try a different modality and have been going for acupuncture treatments, which seems to be giving me some benefit.

Thank you for all you hard work and help.


-Zoloty