Maheeru - Can you help me?

I probably should tell you that I had stomach contractions in my last period which I took borax for it. And that after palladium my hair got really silky, then I took lycopodium and the silkyness got away. And that my mental state right now is mentally drained. The melancoly is a result of this felling of mentally drained. Another information is that it has been almost a month since I last took the last medicine.

Hi Maheeru!
Can you help me? I am trying to treat stage fright.

Thank you so much Maheeru! I'm really thankfull for your help! Sorry about not having updated my old thread. Do you want me to go back there? Or can we go on here?
Thank you!
Thank you!
Thank you!
I guess my stage fright has something to do with caring to much to others oppinion and with the disapproval of my parents who are the people I most love in this world and also the people who mostly put too many obstacles in my art/professional way, instead of stimulus.
Let me know if you prefer that I go back to our old thread.
Best,
Joana.

ok. Maheeru. I've already answered the questions, I am only reviewing it, to make sure every information is correct. Should I antidote Palladium 1M before taking CHINA30 ch or not?

I guess I can tell you, you misunderstood me. I followed up with causticum. Up to causticum 27CH.

Sorry about that!
I meant I've already answered the questionaire but haven't still sent to you. I want to make sure I am not forgeting anything. I will send to you tonight.

About following up to causticum 27ch, maybe I misunderstood you. I thought you've told me to take it up to 30ch and then update the changes. But that's ok. We continue from here. I am very thankful to you!
I will send the questionaire tonight.

Hi Maheeru!
Nice talking to you again!
I guess you misunderstood me. I followed up with causticum. Up to causticum 27CH.
But my hair was really, really dry. I would stay in the shower trying to detangle it for almost one hour.
I spent a lot of money with expensive conditioners, but nothing seems to work. I even tried cooking oil!

Then an eczema appeared on the top of my left big toe and the dermatologist told me to put on some medicine and eat red meat (because of my hair). I have a low ferritin level, but my irion levels is ok.

I have no desire to start eating red meat. And I know how homeopathy condemns this type of knock out.

So I took sulphur for the eczema, but it was my hair that got better. It got hydrated again. The eczema got better, but it is still there. It is on all my toes, but it is worse on the left big toe. It is really dry, and itchy. If I put on some lotion to hydrate, it seems it is impenetrable. Looks like a dry shell. And it crumbles when I scratch.

For the eczema – I took arsenicum 30ch, got really irritated and it did nothing to the eczema.
Then rhus tox – the eczema got worse, more itchy and appeared some boils on every toe and fingers!
Sulphur – seems to ameliorate that. But its not cured. It is still there. I took sulphur 30ch 4 times. My hair got hydrated. Then calcarea 30ch, my hair got even better. Then Palladium 1M, my hair got really silky! A hair that I never have in my whole life! And then lycopodium30ch, that got me irritated for 4 days, and removed the silky condition from palladium 1M. The eczema was better for some time, than it got very itchy again, so I took sulphur 200ch and trickle some drops locally of the 30ch. It is better now, but it is not cured. It is still a dry shell, less dry though. And sometimes it itches.

After that I’ve tried to go back to causticum 27. But I noticed the immediately difference of the amount of hair in the bathroom drain when washing my hair. So I took one more dose of sulphur and it got better again. Now it is starting to falling out again.

Can I ask you a question? Which are the biggest differences between causticum and phosphorus? Also, I see you are thinking about giving me sepia, but before this incident with palladium I had no menstrual complains anymore besides menstrual cramps.

I guess people think I am causticum or phosphorus because I have this worry about being a nice person and to do something good for the humanity. I put a lot of effort and time, and love in my life to help others. To make the world a better place. I know I am not big enough for that. But I strongly believe I can do good or bad for people around me. And I always try to be an good example. Not a perfect one, just good, happy, kind, loving, caring... I try. I think that the amount of positive energy that I am able to create and spread, can do good.

Everything I do, I think it’s going to affect someone, or I think I am giving examples how to act to anyone that sees me living my life the way I live. But I guess I have to say that I was not always like that. Up to 20years old I was this person really distracted, dreamy and alienated, not only because I didn’t read the news, but also because I wasn’t able to realize the reality of the world. It was like I lived in this pink, happy protected bubble. I didn’t have the desire to change the world because I wasn’t able to realize how the world was.

So I went through several stressful episodes during a couple of years and by the end of it I got really angry and irritated. It took me a lot of personal work, prays, homeopaths, acupuncture, help and love from my family to overcome this state of mind. I am peaceful today, not like I was before, but only after those events that I became interested in spread love and good examples. I guess I have always had some kind of nonconformity, non-acceptance, even if before the stressfull events, but the force to do something about that, cames after that. I always have strong opinions.

About Palladium: I am mentally ok. My temper is ok, but I still didn’t go through another period after palladium. I had too much flow, too much pain on my last period because of palladium.

Follow Below the questionaire.

1) brown eyes.
2) brow hair (I was born light brownish, then my hair turn into red and then brown.)

3)
- public fright/ stage fright/ fear criticism / fear of others opinions / lack of confidence - specifically when I sing because I feel singing and acting very differently. When I act I also struggle and feel a lot of fright, but only at the beggining of the season. I get better around de 5th presentation. I get really nervous on first run, mainly when my family is there or any person connected to them. But when I sing I suffer, I struggle. It feels like I am gonna die or something.

- Hair falling out. (but it got better after sulphur, calcarea, lycopodium). Sulphur gave me energy, but I became a little more tide.

- eczema on left foot – left toe - dry, itchy. Actually it is on every toe, but it is much worse on the left toe.

– fluid retention before period – I wasn’t having any fluid retention before taking palladium, now I am presenting a bit of fluid retention at the right side of my right breast. I realized that all my past complains about pms has direct connection with fluid retention: if I have fluid retention I have pms, if I don’t have fluid retention I also don’t have any symptom of pms. Although I am with this little fluid retention I still don’t present any symptom of pms. Maybe because it’s too little.

- Causticum was very good for my voice.

4) Can you connect these complaints to any other events? What was going on in your life personally, physically, emotionally, socially, environmentally when the complaints came on?

My parents have never approved my career. Every time I started some art course, (drawing, singing, acting, writing) there would have a fight, they would say that I am wasting my time, and that I should be taking some MBA course. I used to cry a lot because I tend to pay too much attention on what they think, even today! So, at some point I decided not to tell them anything about my art life. I am studding piano and they don’t even know. I am trying to be recognized as a singer and they don’t even know I sing. I have to maintain this secret until I succeed, otherwise it will get worse, more stressful for me. They will not tell me clearly but I will realize they think I am ridiculous to think I can succeed. They think I dream too high.
And that is really a mess in my mind, because they are the 2 people (out of 3) I most love in the whole world!

Many years ago, when I started singing and they went to a presentation of mine. They would sit like I was making they waste their time. They would sit and be very serious, not say anything about my voice or performance and to get things worse they would say that in order to succeed people have to be born daughter of somebody famous, I guess it was an attempt to make me give up of art.

My sister had always envy me, in everything. And when I started singing I felt some really bad energy from her any time she was watching.

I stopped singing for several years. I had to go to university and my parents would put lots of obstacles for my singing. Even though they always have a good economic situation, they said it was expensive to pay for a singing course.

I’ve tried to be this serious, office person my parents wanted me to be, but I couldn’t. I got depressed and nothing in life made sense for me anymore. So I started acting, which I made it with some fear, but not that strong. I don’t think I am fearless when acting, but it is not something that I have to look for help. I can manage this. I can act. I maybe don’t have all the confidence I wanted, but I can do it.

I also feel that acting is a group activity which makes things easier for me. I am most of the times with somebody on stage. Besides, backstage I always get thrilled seeing so many professionals working together. It seems a big symphony to me. Even when I am alone on stage, that is easier because I am not saying anything true. The fact that everything is just a history, make things easier for me. My character is a character, it is not me. It’s not true.

With singing every felling I show, is true and it is mine, is not somebody else feeling. It’s not a lie, a character. I guess it shows that I have difficulty to expose myself, to talk about myself. It’s difficult for me to talk about personal life in public for example, but a bit easier when I am talking about any other theme. I feel more comfortable acting than answering a question in a course when the teacher asks and all the students will look at me. When I am acting I have lots of trouble if my family is there, or any other person connected to them. I also get really nervous on first runs, and I start to calm down around the 5th time I act in a play. But with singing everything is worse. Because the attention is absolutely and only on me. All the analyses is on me. I feel alone as I lived in a cruel world.


My parents have always underestimated me. They are not bad parents, they love me, and I love them. I can’t complain about not having love. Actually we have a very special bond, but they are chauvinists and sexists like the majority of parents in this country. They don’t think I can do great. I guess they would have preferred that I had a job in a regular office, with a regular salary like everybody, but at least I would be monetarily safe.

Stage fright before and after palladium: I took palladium one day before a presentation, after half an of hour I got calmer, slow, almost sleepy. When I woke up on next day I was feeling the stage fright, but it was better. I always get quieter, angry, and irritated, and this time wasn’t different.

During the presentation, the stage fright was much better, but it was still there. Palladium made me hoarse. Which is ridiculous, as I am taking it to sing. People didn’t realized, but I was a bit hoarse, and then I got a flu which made me not able to sing for a week!

Without palladium – the stress is worse. It is like I am so stressed, with so much fright that I am not even present at the moment of the presentation. And I can enjoy the singing only for seconds. My whole body trembles, my heart goes really fast. With palladium I was a bit more present. I have realized the atmosphere of the place, I was able to realize the public. The trembling and the heart were a bit better as well.

But I guess palladium 1M only works if taken one day before, since I had another presentation after one month and I was terribly nervous. MAYBE (I am not sure) worse than before ever taking palladium in the first place. I thought, since it is 1M, it would work for months.


5) What are the things, which aggravate your suffering and which are those, which make you feel better? Example- time, temperature, pressure, rubbing, washing, eating, tight clothing, movement, climate, music, consolation, thunderstorm, exam or other important events, smell, noise,light etc. Are you worse on any particular side of the body?

- The fact that I have to put up make up and get all dressed up made me more stressed. I don’t feel comfortable showing my body, or in high heels. I don’t feel myself! But then, when I get there and see the others singers all dressed up, I also feel I should be more dressed up.

I like art because it is about feelings, emotions, not appearance. I am not a model, why should I be all barbie? I hate to have to care for my appearance.

- When I am acting I feel clearly that when the stage is small and the public is close to me I am not that comfortable. When the stage is larger and far from public and the lights are really strong in my face I can easily ignore the public (even looking at them) and feel easier that I am really the character inside the history. With singing, nothing of it makes any difference for me. Nothing ameliorate the symptoms. MAYBE (I am not sure) the fact that I am singing for the second time in the same place, I mean, when it is not a new place.


3) What do you crave for in food items and in general and what are your aversions in food items and in general?
- What I most crave is salt, for sure! In a second place water, juicy fruits and spice food, vegetables, and acid. When I say spicy I don’t mean pepper, I mean garlic, onions, parsley, lime, cilantro, curry, basil, rosemary, oregano and pepper. I like acid, but I don’t crave it.

I love a kind of orange (that I don’t know the name) which is not acid. I love almost all fruits, prefer the juicy ones, like watermelon and pineapple (if it is not too acid), cashew. Love beans, spinach, lentils, chickpea. Even though I like sweets I don’t care too much for them. Drink a lot of water. I am always thirsty. Like cereal.
Don’t eat red meat, only chicken and fish and eggs.
Don’t like milk and yogurt.
Love cheese!!! Really, really love, specially the saltier ones.
Love olives, but I guess, its maybe because of the salt.
Like olive oil, pepper, soya sauce, ginger.
Like tea.

Because I had hepatitis, I can’t stand rich foods. But before that, I used to eat fried cheese.
I don’t like that kind of soft, creamy and extremely sweet pie.
Prefer dry, less sweet, kind of harder type of pie.

4) Describe your thirst and hunger and sleep/dreams and about discharges(colour/odour/consistency).
Hunger: normal. I can’t go two days without vegetables and fruits. I really need them. I feel cold when I pass the time to eat.
Thirst: I am frequently thirsty.

Sleep/dreams: Normally I take some time to sleep. That’s when my fright that something happens to my eyes get worse. Manias get worse too. When I close them. But I guess my sleep depends on my emotional state. If I have a fight or a small vexation I will not present the desire to go to bad, before the anguish is away from my chest, throat or stomach. (I normally feel my emotions in one of these three points). The anguish gets better after I talk about it, after consolation, or after praying and ask for help to get better. My dreams are always crazy, makes no sense. It’s not unusual when I remember them. Sometimes I get nightmares.

Discharges: I make way too much urine. I drink a lot of water, but I make more urine than I drink water.
After Palladium I had a big amount of vaginal discharge several times and I also got smelly in this region. But they are both gone. I guess it last for 15 days and disappeared.

Colour of urine: depend. If it is the first urine of the day it is yellow. Others are almost with no colour.

Stools: I go every day in the morning, after having breakfast. It is a big amount. Medium to dark brown. Normal to soft consistency. But I guess I am under the influence of sulphur, I guess. Before sulphur, stools was a bit more harder and drier. Odour is a normal stools odour, not good. But my stools are very influenced by the medicine I am taking in. I remember, when taking lycopodium it got really small. Small litlle bols, and the amount diminish. I don’t know. But I am not taking sulphur anymore.

5) Please describe the irregularities in periods, like pains, moods, flow
type, clots, sensations etc if there are any?
A lot of pain. But my uterus is retro inverted, that is why I’ve always had menstrual cramps. It got worse after I put in IUD (intrauterine device) It is also something that disturbs me to sing. I take a pain killer that has caffeine on it, so whenever I have my period and have to sing, I guess caffeine worsens the stress.

After IUD my flow increased a lot. Then I have to took it off because my body expelled it and it was not in the proper place anymore. And then the flow got a little better, it took a lot of time to start diminishing. Now I still have more flow and pain than before the IUD.

Before Palladium I wasn’t suffering with pms. Let’s see how it is going to be this month. Palladium gave me a lot of pain. Too much bleeding, cloths, I even cried with the pain. So I dissolved 1 drop of hamamelis 5ch in 2 cm of water, after half an hour I felt the relief from an allopathic pain killer. Before IUD I had pms which was cured several times by homeopathy.

6) Other details you want to say or if there are any peculiar things going on in your physical or emotional plane.
I hurry for everything. I do everything in a fast way.
I have a very big hurry to complete all tasks.
I feel like I have little time to succeed. Or I succeed or I'll be sad.
I had this anxiousness that doesn’t let calm and quiet. I always have to be doing some work, until I have no more energy and have to go to bed. That’s why I’ve been suffering from jet lags. Because I can’t stop working and relax. I used to work up to 5 a.m. and then go to bed, now, after some personal effort I am going to bed around 2:30am/3am. But I still want to get better.
It’s also because I desire to do everything right away. I feel happy creating stuff, producing things, being productive and creative and I feel I have lots to do. When I do lots of tasks, I feel happy. I guess the best word to describe it in me is enthusiastic.
don’t like the dark
Have light claustrophobia
Fear of something happens with my eyes – that’s why I don’t like the dark. And that’s why I don’t appreciate sharp or pointed objects close to my eyes.

But all of this problems started with that stressfull period I’ve told you about, when I was around 20 years old.
I am very sensitive to people and places. That is why I have to be in a high energy levels all the time. Everybody has to be, but I guess it’s worse to who is sensitive.
Prefer cold whether than hot.
I am REALLY not sure about this but I mistrust that everything ameliorate after the sunset. I don’t know if it is the sunset that makes me feel bad or just the sun. But I am not sure.

7) Also clearly explain about stage fright(what happens and how you react to it) and also the symptoms that have developed before/after palladium 1M clearly making a difference between them.
[message edited by maheeru on Sun, 05 May 2013 14:44:12 BST]

I guess I have already explain, but to complete it: I react with a serious mood, talk less, a bit angry, irritated, have mania (like a crazy person: when washing my hands, I can’t stop rinsing it. Or when I close the water tap, I close it a lot of times. When I take a glass to drink water, I change for another one, and then to another, and then to another, because I think there is a better glass, with better energy then the other. Which I know it is absolutely ridiculous. Normally, when I am not stress, I sometimes present this type of behavior, but I control it and make it stop. Bite my nails (but I always do it). That’ s it.

Thank you one more time. Sorry about the misunderstanding.

I forgot to tell you that after taking palladium, when I got my period I had a very bad stomach pain. It was like my stomach was squeezing at that specific region I show in the picture attached. So, I took borax 6ch a couple of times, and 30ch only one time.

I also think I would like to take back what I said about manias on bed time. I don’t have manias at bed time. Before presentations I do have but I guess I also sounded crazier than I am. I have manias before presentations but it is not that bad as I sounded.

(This post contains an image. To view the image, please log on.)

Dear Maheeru, please read my two lasts posts.

You have asked me about dreams and I forgot to tell you that when I am in a really bad energy I frequently dream I am being followed. Since I am seven.But it only happens if I am really, really in a bad energy. It's been a long time since I last dreamt about that.
Other than that, my dreams are normal to fun.

Hi Maheeru, please read my three last posts.

I'm only writing today to update my state after taking china 30ch.
I took it for 2 days, not 4.
One drop per day.
Yesterday would have been the third day, but I didn't take it because, I get way too tired.
Not much energy during the day, difficulties to wake up and wanting to go to bed early.
Right after taking it, I felt a burning sensation at the same region indicated at that picture I’ve posted, but it lasted 2 minutes at the most. Should I continue with it? Or not?

Best,

Joana.

(there are 4 posts before this one)

I just got my period, so I took another drop of china. Let see how it goes.

I also would like to add that soft boil eggs doesn't suits me. and also the hard boiled ones. but the soft ones are worse. I vomit if I eat it, although I like it.

Hi Maheeru!

I’ve already took the last missing dose today morning. I had menstrual cramps and this one drop ameliorated it a lot!

That’s really unusual since I had never been able to go through cramps without alopathic painkillers.

China makes me sleepy though. Calm, but sleepy.

In the afternoon, cramps got really bad again, so I took 3 drops of china, together with one pain killer and I got really well.

Let me know if I can continue to take it everytime I had cramps.

Best,
Joana.

Hi Maheeru!

Please, read my last post.
I'd like to make another correction.
About dreams: frequently I dream about somebody being followed by somebody dangerous. Anything that scares me in a film or in the news I get scared and then dream about it. And frequently I found myself running away from somebody. But sometimes my dreams are really fun.

Hi Maheeru!

Friday - I got my period.
Saturday - heavy flow, a lot of pain. China seems to help, but make me really sleepy.
Sunday - Period is almost over, but I am still sleepy. It was better than last month, I am 90% cured from palladium, but there was a moment when I had to take 3 drops of china to make my uterus stop. It has worked, but made me really sleepy. and I also would like to diminush the pain and the flow on second day. Do you think it's possible? I mean it not a palladium thing. I was already getting complicated second days before palladium. This time was a bit worse. I guess china has cured 90% of the damage palladium has caused.

Let me know what is next.

Best,

Joana.

when I said: 'to make my uterus stop' I meant: to make it stop being a palladium uterus. The moment I realized the pain was starting to get unbearable, and the flow was starting to get ridiculously heavy, I took 3 drops of china. Do you think I will have to antidote palladium with camphor?

Hi Maheeru,

After you asked me about my dreams, I started to pay more attention on it.
Last two nights I’ve dreamed about being followed.
First I dreamed about a woman being followed by two human traficants, but I didn’t think it matters since I recently saw a similar movie.
Last night I dreamed I was a prisoner of a guy who was interested in me sexually.
I guess, I haven’t realized how this theme is frequently present in my dreams.
Sometimes I dream I am in danger and that I have to stay hidden otherwise dangerous people will realize my presence and then I will become a prisoner. After that dream, I woke up really, really sad. But it went away soon, after breakfast.

Thank you Maheeru!!!

Can I buy liquid medicines instead of tablets? I prefer because it is more practical to take it. Is that ok or does it make any difference?

I’d like to ask you if I can take more drops of sulphur 200ch.

I don’t know if you remember, but I’ve taken 6 drops of sulphur 200ch a month ago, when I had that stomach pain, so I know I can take more drops without bad side effects.
So, what do you think? Should I take more drops of it or not?