sever depression and anxiety _{Page 4 of 5}

i am having psycho feelings again. its like my mind is becoming over suspecious of everything. like there is conspiracy going on against me. i am fearfull now if antidepressant affect is gone and i go back to where i was before then how will i cope with it. panic attacks are less severe at the moment.

i am in an emotional hell right now. i am becoming blind. i am loosing light in my eyes. going more and more into depression and anxiety. alumina helped but it doesnt stop the symptoms. they are so powerful that it seems whatever i do doesnt work. i am taking the antidepressant now one pill. please advice next step

i am becoming suicidal. i only have 30c potency. i cant find 200c. if i buy online it will take too much time. my feelings are changing every minute.

simone i am in stockholm sweden. here i couldnt find 1m of alumina. please tell if there is online store where i can buy it. most online stores are limited to us only.

was feeling ok last couple of days. yesterday i had a walk for 50 minutes, after that i felt there were blasts happening in my brain and soon came so much stress in my brain and eyes muscles. couldnt sleep yesterday. even today there is sleep in my eyes but after lying in bed cant sleep because of too much tention in brain and eye muscles. i dont think i can sleep today either. i have taken magnesium suppliments but they didnt work. i dont think sleeping pill is going to work either but i will try please suggest something my brain seems hyperactive.

after my last post i began to take antidepressants again. i used them for 3 months then i took cell salts and alumina again for few days and stopped the antidepressants. i started to feel better. After eating specially i noticed my mood was becoming better then suddenly i started to feel worse. in 2,3 days i was feeling very bad. sleeplessness, did not trust anyone and felt there are people conspiring against me so i dont get better. whenever i heard sounds of birds, whenever i watch cars passing by i thought the sounds of birds are artificially produced . type of cars standing in parking place outside my home have special meaning. all of this is a conspiracy against me. This i have been feeling since a year now. it started to feel worse at the end of february 2015. I also felt there is lot of water around me and i am drowning in the water day by day. then i ended up in hospital. i started to walk backwards in hospital. it felt my mind is playing games with me and all docotors are with the conspirators who are working against me. doctors said i have Schizophrenia and began to give me antipsychotic drug trilafon injections after every 3 weeks. i stayed in hospital for whole of march and came back few days before. i feel there is no conspiracy now but trilafon or perfenazine injections gave me sexual impotence plus i dont feel natural. i feel drugged. i dont want to take allopathic medecine but i cant stop it now as i have to go to hospital every 3 weeks and take the injections. I have very low memory and after medicine my memory has weakened even more. i forget things, have stress too much and my thoughts are not connected. i cannot think on a particular topic for a long time. not even for few seconds. i feel i am outside of the discussion happening and i have no enjoyment in life and it doesnt matter if i live or die i am ok with both options now. i dont want to get worse. allopathic medicine says it will stop the Schizophrenia so that negative thoughts dont come again as long as i take the medicine. it will not heal permanently. is there a homeopathic solution to my problem along with the trilafon injections which i have to take now? can my memory get better? conspiracy be controlled?

i want to reduce the drugs but doctors are forcing me to take them. i was in hospital without free will. i skipped the medicine they did blood test, they found out, came to my home and put me to hospital. i live in sweden i wonder if there is a way to get rid of the doctors.
[message edited by farrukh123 on Thu, 09 Apr 2015 08:19:15 BST]

can homeopathy and antipsychotic drugs dont work separately on the body. i heard that high potency homeopathy remedies can be taken along with allopathic medicine. how much truth is in that???

Here is currently what i am going through and communicated to Parakeltos2012 At gmail dot com.
Gender: Male
Age: 34
Body Type: slightly fat Height: 5 feet 10 inches
Weight: 100 kg
General appearance: good
Have you used homeopathic medicines before? If so what, and what homeopathic potencies did you use?

gelsimium 200c , alumina 30d, phosphorus 200d, cell salts 6x

Please answer the following questions in a descriptive manner after careful analysis and recollection of previous experiences and happenings.

1. Describe your main suffering?

lack of vision in the eyes, when i close my eyes i cannot visualize clearly. there is dark curtain that comes in front of my eyes and blocks everything. left eye is most affected. dark curtain is much darker in left eye. sometimes two opposite wills in the brain. one will tells me a story that everything is a conspiracy against me. everybody is conspiring against me, my family, father mother brother wife. whenever i see cars my mind starts to tell me driver is somehow driving the car in a special way to conspire against me. everyone doesnt want to see me better. i cannot see the reality properly, my eyesight has a very dim black curtain in the front and it feels i am loosing touch with the reality and i am getting blind. All these problems i am having since 5,6 years but things have worsened in last 2,3 years after i got married. i had problems during the sex. i felt loss of energy and depression after orgasm after marriage. before marraige i had same feeling after masterbation. i feel sex had ruined my life. i am fearful that i will become blind and mad if i continue sex so i stop doing it. Right now i am on drugs from doctor. drug name is trilafon or perphenazine for what they say that i have is schizophrenia and i take injections of trilafon after every 3rd week. i cannot stop these injections according to the doctors. and right now i dont know how long they will give me these injections

2. What other physical sufferings do you have in your body?

i have constipation for 3,4 years, hair loss, feeling of vertibral column not straight, its bent.

3. What mental sufferings / feelings do you have associated with your physical sufferings?

fear, anxiety, loss of memory, contradictory wills, dark curtain in front of eyes. out of touch from the reality. while walking sometimes i feel what i am seeing exists, what i dont see doesnt exist. then i have to convince myself that it exists although i cannot see or imagine it.

4. What exactly do you feel when you are at your worst? Describe the sensation in your own words.

hopeless, fear of getting blind, my wife doesnt exist or people are just images i see, nothing more. makes me fearful that if i get out of control i can harm someone which is very dangerous. it never happened before but i fear it.

5. When did it all start? Can you connect it to any past event or disease?

it started 6 years before. i was doing a job but after coming back from job i used to watch dirty pictures from internet and masterbate 3,4 times everyday, slowly i began to get out of touch with the reality but i didnt know what kind of problems it will give me later in life. for 3 months i did it and suddenly one day i felt something has caught me. i was severely depressed, fatigued and didnt know what to do. lost the job and getting down the hill since then. then i got constipated and problem worsened. i felt better after marriage for some time but soon i was getting more fatigued and getting psychotic. now i am at very worst. i got very much stress in the forehead. before i got hospitalized one month ago i started to walk backwards in the hospital and thought every patient is there for me or because of me and my mind started to make up stories about how doctor, nurses and patients are there because of me, my problem and i see the reality which is controlled by someone who wants to control others through me. and that someone is stupid because i dont control others but after i take drugs i realized there is no body there against me. it is just my mind playing games with me.

6. Which time of the day you are worst?
it doesnt matter. i feel bad all day.

7. What are the things which aggravate your suffering and which are those which ameliorate the same? Example- time, temperature, pressure, rubbing, washing, eating, tight clothing etc. i dont like tight clothing but it doesnt aggreviate the problem

8. Do your think your sufferings have relation to any external stimuli (like, change of place) or any internal biological changes in the body, like, menses (in females)?

i am not from sweden origionally. i am from pakistan. i thought if i had not come to sweden, may be i couldnt have been that worse.

9. When do you feel better, during hot weather or cold weather, humid or dry weather?
i get better during sunshine, like dry weather

10. Describe your general mental set up? Are you Moody, Arrogant, Mild, Agreeable Changeable, Nervous, Suspicious, Easily offended, Quiet, Arguing, Irritating, Lazy etc.

i am suspicious, quiet, lazy

11- How do you feel before or during a thunderstorm?
i am not afraid of thunderstorm. have not experienced it for a long time now so i cannot tell exactly how will i feel now if i see thunderstrom.

12- Do you like being consoled during your tough times?
i like being consoled or people telling me everything will become better. i hope everything will be better but i dont see the results.

13 Are you sensitive to external stimuli like smell, noise, light etc? sometimes sudden change in light affects me, i feel suspecious of sunlight changes suddenly, i feel somebody is controlling the sunlight so that i feel worse. if i feel bad he wins. i felt in the past that someone is trying to control my eyes and make me blind. now i think its just false but i am not drugs thats why i can differentiate now.
- Do you have any typical habit or gesture like nail biting, causeless Weeping, talking to one self etc? i used to weep when i felt too bad. i feel like weeping when i am depressed too much. from the drugs i take i feel restlessness and itching which i didnt had before.
- How do you feel about your friends, family, your children and especially your husband / wife? i didnt feel well about my family and wife espeicially. i thought my wife was in that conspiracy against me. i like my only child, baby girl.
11. What are your fears and do you dream of any situation repeatedly? my fear is i will get blind and mad. i cannot get better because i dont see the results. i will loose touch with the reality. my dreams are not clear. i have lack of imagination because of dark curtain in front of my closed eyes. i cannot dream well because of that.

12. What do you crave for in food items and what are your aversions? i like to eat rice and chicken
13. How is your thirst: Less, Normal or Excessive? my thirst is less than normal
14. How is your hunger: Less, Normal or Excessive? hunger is normal or little bit less
15. Is there any kind of food which your body can’t stand? eating peas make me more constipated.
16. Is your sweat normal or less or more? Where does it sweat more: Head, Trunk or Limbs? sweat is less. i feel tired and dont do too much so i dont sweat.
17. How is your bowel movement and stool type? bowel is not produced properly in my body. it comes out like motion. color is normal.
18. How well do you sleep? Do you have a particular posture of sleeping? before i went to hospital a month ago i had sleeping problems for 2,3 days i couldnt sleep properly. now its ok i can sleep well. 8 to 10 hours a day.
19. Do you think you are able to satisfy your sexual desires in general? i dont satisfy my sexual desired . i am afraid of sex now plus i have impotence problem due to drugs i take. thats there side affect.
20. Do you have any strange, peculiar or unusual symptom or feelings? How are you different from others? everyone has good memory. why my brain is not working well. why do i see dark curtain when i close my eyes. why i cannot imagine myself in some place doing things which i like.
21. What medications have been taken earlier by you to treat the diseases and do you have any particular symptom surfacing after the medication? i have taken antidepressants for a year but i dont take them now. now i just take trilafon injections after every 3 week.
22. What major diseases are running in your family? my mother has blood pressure problem. father is heart patient.
23. Describe, how do you look like? Describe your overall appearance. i look like ok, tall , good looking but not that much. (For Females) 24. If your menstrual cycles are not normal, please describe the irregularities, like pains, moods, flow type, clots etc.
25. What major diseases have you had in your life and when. Please write them in a chronological manner. 1. i had sinus problems, couldnt breathe from nose, i got homeopathy treatment for that and problem was solved. 2. constipation. 3. hairloss
[message edited by farrukh123 on Tue, 14 Apr 2015 17:24:21 BST]
[message edited by farrukh123 on Tue, 14 Apr 2015 19:41:04 BST]

norwegian homeopath says this case is too much complicated and with current medications, homeopathy wont work.

i am not taking antidepressants now just taking antipsychotic injections after every 3 weeks.
i will buy anacardium 1M and take it.

there are several types of anacardium. orientale, occidentail and another name which starts from s i forgot the name. which anacardium to buy??

things that worry me much are

1. having two wills or contradiction of will. mind is making a separate story all the time which is not true.
2. body became out of control of the will. started moving backwards even when i didnt wanted to.