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OCD - anxiety sufferer

I am from India, I am 31 years old and single.
I have OCD an anxiety. I also feel irritable. I have high standards for myself and I think I am judgmental. I have realized all this only now.

My history is as follows:

As a kid I was afraid that my parents would die and leave me alone. So I had some compulsions like touching the corners of objects, counting from 1 to 6 etc. I did not disclose the reasons to may parents when thy asked me.

These obsessions stopped during class X. I did fairly well in TX and very well in 12th

I was admitted to a very prestigious college. There the ragging was bad ad there was also a psychological brainwash saying that I had not prepared for it and hence I would flunk. This took a toll and I did not do well. I had chicken pox during exams and had to discontinue.

I also was wearing gasses at this time and was myopic minus 6. I wanted to get rid of this and do I was interested in operations to get rid of glasses.
I joined another engineering college. I did a lot better.. Bu I used to get very anxious before exams and could not sleep at all. As a result I used to be very tired during the exams and could not give my best though my preparations were good.

After I passed out I had a laser treatment done on my eyes. This worsened the sight. I had haloes, ghosting etc. The doctors were not of help.

I joined work. I was suffering se to poor vision. I also at this time had an emotional relationship with a colleague. I never did confess my feelings to her. She then left for the US.

I also had a chance to go to the US. I was in a different state than my colleague. I was also trying to get some contact lenses for improving my vision. I one day called her and she said that she was involved with someone else.

I felt betrayed. She also told about this to others and I felt betrayed further. I however was upset for some time. She tried to contact me several times, but I never responded.

I moved to another place and I tried my level best to get my vision corrected. I tried so many different contact lenses. Nothing gave a permanent solution.

I was also getting depressed and I also realized that I was feeling apathy towards sex. I have never had any sexual contact as I am from a rather conservative family. I also felt weak sexually.

Then one night I suddenly had a panic attack, I had it repeatedly in alternate days and I could not sleep. So I returned home and I also developed OCD during this time. I only have obsessions now especially about violence, perverse sexual acts etc. I desperately want to get married and share my life with my partner. However I feel guilty and anxious. I am afraid that these obsessions/anxiety will increase and may marriage will be a disaster.

I am getting old. I had had this for 5 years now. I was on SSRIs. I have stopped now. I am taking some herbal medicine st john wort, inositol powder and methinoine tablets. The inositol, calcium and methinonie are supposed to reduce histamine levels which are supposed to be elevated in OCD patients.

Other information

I am medium to large build. I have a thinning hair line. I have a liking for spicy (hot) salty and sour food. I do not have a craving for sweets though I do like them. I do very well in my professions. My vision has got worse, but no w I care more about the OCD.
I do not have a great liking for milk, I love buttermilk and curd. I like pickles.
I also have visual symptoms like ‘strobing’ or ‘flickering; in the visual field. It is not a physical feeling but a visual symptom. I also have flashes when I am in fluorescent dim light like in hotels. I feel all these symptoms are related.


I have tried homeo but it has not worked. I was prescribed arg-n but it did not help . I was also given some other medicine, whose name was not told to me.


I hear that histaminium reduced histamine levels. Will this help?
Has anyone in this forum been cured of OCD?
 
  wellbeing on 2005-10-02
This is just a forum. Assume posts are not from medical professionals.
You sound to me more like Carcinosinum or Arsenicum.-What dose and how long do you take Argentum?
Alberto.
 
Albert last decade

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