Pure OCD, anxiety, derealisation

Hi i am suffering from pure OCD which is not related to physical compulsions like washing hands etc, basically conflicting, intrusive thoughts which create doubt and anxiety shake my core beleifs, breaks self confidence and spiral me into a rumination mode. For the past few years such thoughts are not there as i am not obsessed to anything currently. However all the hundreds of such thoughts which came in the past 25 years or so are locked in the sub councius. My thinking is very muddy and feel foggy always i feel trapped inside my own brain and fail to express anything. Derealisation is what i read online and that feeling is there since birth i feel. I dont feel any space around me and feel disconnected from the surroundings and people. I have to pretend that i am in the situation when amongst people. My illness is genetic too as my nani, mamaji and one of cousins suffer from ocd, anxiety or something similar. I have stopped my ssris and anti anxiety medicines since 6 months and currently on no meds apart from kali phos 6x and bach flowers rescue remedy sometimes. I am unable to socialise and even though i am intelligent and intellectually sound i fail to start a conversation as i feel blank and restless. Also since 10 years i also developed a thought somehow to look at peoples genitals when talking to them which makes me avoid conversations as its difficult to make eye contact and talk with a clear head. After all these years of aloepathy treatments also developed ED. My desires are trapped inside and i feel i never see the world how others perceive it on a daily basis. I dont drink or smoke and beleive in healthy eating. I am 41 yrs old with 76kg weight. Listed few of my issues below:

Conflicting thoughts, OCD
Anxiety
Doubts
World looks fuzzy
Disconnected from the surroundings
Overthinking,rumination
Intrusive thoughts stuck in the councious and subconcious
Chocking of emotions
Humour witty
Mentally Exhausted always
Fear to approach people or any work due to lack of control
Very Emotional, however feel numb to normal day emotions, Hopelessness sometimes
Frustration
Has will power to continue trying
Hesitation to express feelings and emotions

Regards