Hello Kaps _{Page 6 of 9}

You will adjust, but there will be a transition period of about 48 hours. This is Normal. I have had my fam go on trips, for weeks.-there is always a transition no matter what. Make a plan, go execise, have a new afternoon project like learn something new,
Plan to watch some show that you can Enjoy at night etc.
The first 2days will be odd no matter what. It’s that way for Everyone.
The habit of going with WHAT if ??! Has to be stopped. It’s a red flag that you absolutely cannot listen to.
[Edited by simone717 on 2022-11-22 15:51:01]

Hi,
Yes, Thanksgiving day can feel very weird if you are alone.
I would like to see you work on deprogramming yourself when not under some huge stress or event.
1. The “what if” thoughts are a fire alarm, that there is an underlying anxiety trigger.They are lies, but if you engage they will set off stress chemicals, adrenaline that keep the body in fear and also start an actual loop of thoughts from the lower brain to the mid brain. The loop and adrenaline shut down blood flow to front LOGICAL brain and that’s why you cannot think your way out -once it begins.
2. You are not and will not go crazy. You have survived thru many intolerable things. You are simply having severe anxiety.
3. Obviously, in childhood there was lack of support and instability. So when faced with new things, transitions etc the UNCERTAINTY that everyone feels? In you it triggers the childhood states where you had no power or help.
4. Think about and recognize those childhood states when calm. Then you can actually Silently talk to your lower brain and tell it -I am no longer in danger-you do not have to flip out and turn on the adrenalin etc next time.
5. If you work on this ? What will happen is there will be a lag time. The what if will show upbut it won’t be so overwhelming.You will have Space to say No and also you will be able to stay in your front brain and control your body.That is what you want and eventually you won’t get hijacked into panic.

Hello Simone,
Thank you for your support and kind words.
I will try to work on what you have said.

I think, knowing these anxiety states are a body mechanism set up to keep us from danger, helps motivate one to untangle the wiring. Another thing to do when what if shows up is distract asap. Turn on tv, music, focus attention on some task. Bc doing this starts breaking the lower to mid brain connection which is an established road to release adrenaline etc.When ppl take Xanax for anxiety-what it does is halts the stress chemicals but it still lets ppl Think all the fear thoughts in the loop-and the loop has to be dealt with.

And for anyone with recent trauma, the remedy ignatia PREVENTS trauma memories from being coded with different chemical structure and stored in a different Brain area than normal memories. Ignatia if taken within days of event lets the memories get stored as normal memories. i have experienced this first hand-after the trauma I was feeling panic-my homeopath gave me ignatia and the trauma event became no big deal.
[Edited by simone717 on 2022-12-16 16:21:32]

UTI can cause aching in places, kidneys etc. I just read that someone suggested Cantharis, good call.

Hello Sound Mind
How are you these days I had posted earlier too but is not found some network issues ther
Take care

Hello Kaps,
Hope you are well. It’s been a while since I wrote you last time.
Sorry I didn’t log in for long time as I was feeling okay. So I couldn’t see your post. I apologize.
I was doing okay till few days ago. Thank you for your help. But I have been experiencing some sadness, some lethargy, some indifference towards everything and everyone.
I don’t want to talk to anyone. Just want to be alone yet can’t handle loneliness.
I am kind of depressed, irritated, feeling so pathetic in life. I am missing my dad again so much. Its been almost a year that he has gone forever but for me it seems like its just yesterday. I miss him again. My head is congested because of all this. I feel so frustrated and irritated when somebody talks to me.
Should I take Ambra Grisea again ? Please suggest.
Thank you for your help as always.

Hello Kaps, please help

Click Kaps name and email him. He’s not on here everyday.

Sorry soundmind
Take Ambra and update one does only once update ASAP i ll be here
Simone rightly i am a bit busy but I will find today onwards to check abc atleast twice a day

Hello Kaps,
I was waiting for your reply…
Recently, I was away from home for 3 days and I didn’t take any medication/remedies with me. But before I went, I took a dose of Aconite 200 as I didn’t get any replies from you and my head was very congested, I remembered once you told me to take a dose of Aconite if my head gets congested. So Aconite worked for me about 50%. Now I am home and
I just took a dose of Ambra. I will let you know the effects tomorrow, if that is fine for you.
Thank you once again.

Good to know and u r most welcome to seek whatever I can do

Hello Kaps,
Hope you are good.
I took a dose of Ambra 200 last night. I am feeling about30% better than before. My head is heavy. I can’t tell, if it’s the same heaviness from before or the remedy is acting. There is a little relief from “missing my Dad” feeling.
I hope I will feel more better soon.
Thank you for your help.

Repeat Ambra and update

Hello Kaps,
Thank you for the remedy suggestion.
I took 2nd dose of Ambra last night. I had a dream of my dad, he was there smiling and I was so happy to see him and I went to hug him too. He was all okay not vulnerable as an old person. It was a good feeling to see him like that.
(But after the first dose I had a scary dream about ghosts.)

I feel am little more better than before now. Just a heaviness and burning in the head. It could be from the action of the remedy or may be because of some other reasons.

Other reasons:
Two of my cousins stopped talking to me because I am not as outgoing, outspoken as them and also they were complaining about my introvert nature. I tried to change myself and tried to act like them but I couldn’t do that for long time, so I was slowly backing off.
I feel so safe inside my “Shell”. Outside my Shell, people attack me and my personality. I don’t like most of the people being judgmental about me. I don’t judge people so I expect they don’t judge me too.
I want people to accept me for who I am. I am not much talkative. I don’t have many things to share with them. I don’t like to share my personal problems with them. So they think I don’t deserve their friendship.
I don’t want to be a different person just to please my cousins. If their friendship has some criteria then that’s not a friendship for me. I don’t care what they think about me but my relatives would think that I was the wrong one. And I will have to listen to them as an obedient child. They will say I will end up being alone and lonely in life. But I can’t pretend to be the one whom I am not.
I don’t know how to handle this situation.
I have blocked everybody on my phone just not to hear things from them which gives me Anxiety and Depression.

Good know the nice happy dream about your dad
Have Ambra one more dose and update
We see every human as what we are and every individual is different
You shud not block them as that closes the Chanel of communication and they are your cousins. Let us say they want to feel sorry how will they and they are family how I’ll u get in touch if u need them
I get back on these issues later too

Sound Mind
I have blocked everybody on my phone just not to hear things from them which gives me Anxiety and depression.

How can somebody make u anxious unless you yourself permit him or her to do so?
Let anybody say anything to you, only you know what is the truth.
Just give my words a little thought.

Whenever there is an opportunity to be alone or venture outside alone, please avail it, and have a dose of Aconite, the moment you are aware of the fact that u are going to be alone, the next dose just an hour before you are going to be alone.
Update the experience.
Unless you do this you can never be what you want to be.
You have a long way to go in life if u keep carrying this baggage you will be tired most of the times. I suggest u follow this to overcome this fear.

Kaps-I disagree. Half the world are introverts.
It’s very draining of introvert energy to be feeling you must match others “talking” expectations. It’s often said you can choose your friends but not your family. And there is strong human programming to not separate from the herd for survival.
I think this is a cultural issue and I have referred ppl to USA therapists(who are 2nd generation immigrants) and mastered how to handle communication with pushy relatives. Instead of conflict learn how to handle them. There still will be a wish they can understand you, but accept they are what they are. Find just a few friends who relate to you and that’s all you need.
[Edited by simone717 on 2023-02-06 15:10:48]

I do not have any exposure to US culture
And it maybe the age factor too as I look at things with all the 60 years behind me
But u have to inculcate a strong will so that others’ words or actions and reactions should not affect ur peace of mind it is difficult I know but achievable.
Yes human tendency to be the part of the herd is too strong but u make ur herd all social platforms are thriving on this only

There is a hashtag twitter that is for introverts-talking about what they enjoy-rather hilarious and validating them vs. extroverts.
[Edited by simone717 on 2023-02-06 18:08:27]

Simone I have full exposure and a thorough experience of my own culture I am from the era where the joint family system here had started to break up and never heard of psychiatrist as a youngster now the issues people even of my age have for psychiatric practitioner is only due to this single reason
Change is must
I feel we shud take it up on our mail or WhatsApp I ll Sen emu number on your mail .

We don’t need to do that. My main point here is for people who were abused, neglected, bullied and judged from childhood have a difficult time setting boundaries or expressing their needs/opinions saying “No”. When they get the strength to attempt this , it causes anxiety bc it is new behavior. It also triggers buried emotions from the past. Plus backlash from thise who don’t accept you changing. This is a process and just like exercising to build muscle, the more you do it -it becomes easier.

“How can somebody make u anxious unless you yourself permit him or her to do so?
Let anybody say anything to you, only you know what is the truth.
Just give my words a little thought.”

Kaps, It’s my nature that I am sensitive towards some bullying words, some unpleasant words that people use to attack me. Everyone has their own nature to react with things.
Some people are Thick Skinned unfortunately I am not. I can’t let anybody say anything to me, some words really hurts. Some actions really bother me. I love myself and my pride. I respect my feelings and emotions. Any controlling nature from anyone gives me anxiety.
I take care of my self respect very well.
In our culture almost everyone tries to control the vulnerable ones. Which I don’t think is appropriate. Why can’t people just let others live how they are. If they can’t do anything good to them just leavem them alone.
In my view, both Extroverts and Introverts are kinds of nature in human beings. I don’t think one is better than the other one. They are same. They live life in their own ways on their own principles. You cannot change extroverts to be introverts and vice versa. And I also think, being introvert is not a mental issue.. Even extroverts can have some mental issues.
I have this anxiety issues since I was in my 20s because of our household problems and ongoing parents fights over small matters. I just want my anxiety go away. So I can live more happily being myself.

My dad used to say “It takes all sorts of people to make the world”. so I am one of those unique kinds, which also helps make this world.

Like you said above, why should I permit them to bully me. How can I stop them from bullying me, Shout at them ? Say something bad to them ? Say something mean to them ? I can’t do that. Even If I stop them saying something nicely, I am still the BAD one, not them. Because they think they are powerful and I am weak.
And also you said “Let them say anything to you”. Here, even if I try to ignore what they said, people will keep on attacking me until I surrender or get down. Because they want to see me lose. So I don’t want to give them that opportunity to keep on harassing me. I have to save myself for good.

So the only way I see is Block them and forget about them and what they had said. They were not there for me in my most difficult days, so I don’t think I need them for my future needs too.
This feeling gives me reason to move on, so I am okay. I can find friends of my kind, this world is very big full of all kinds of people. I will try to find some good ones there. 😊

Thank you for your kind words and help towards me as always.

Sound mind what I wanted to convey was that u shud train urself so that others action are ruins and words have minimal effect on u
It is difficult but achievable try it.
Me and Simone are always there for anything

Dear Depression ,
I agree with what you wrote.You are doing a great job respecting yourself.
I have worked with ppl sticking up for themselves and saying things back to mean comments like-Sorry , you can’t talk to me that way-the first few times they had huge anxiety after doing that. But now they don’t even give it a second thought.