The ABC Homeopathy Forum
Laughter is the best Medicine : JOKES Page 4 of 14
This is just a forum. Assume posts are not from medical professionals.
ha ha ha.
This is what your profile says.
Homeopathy is my joy and amusement. Nothing serious.
Can't make me fool.
This is what your profile says.
Homeopathy is my joy and amusement. Nothing serious.
Can't make me fool.
lopez last decade
Happyface last decade
Have you seen the cartoon where a little girl and little boy are looking down each others underwear?
little Jill asks little Jack: Can I play with it.?
Little Jack says: No , you broke yours off.
.
John comes back here using patients lives as a challenge were not only going to break his off but both his balls as well.
little Jill asks little Jack: Can I play with it.?
Little Jack says: No , you broke yours off.
.
John comes back here using patients lives as a challenge were not only going to break his off but both his balls as well.
Happyface last decade
Here's a Joke for today, for your Health & Happiness :
GIRLS NIGHT OUT
Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home.
The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, 'These damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties.' 'That's nothing,' said the other. 'Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, 'From all of us at the Fire Station, We'll never forget you!'
GIRLS NIGHT OUT
Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home.
The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, 'These damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties.' 'That's nothing,' said the other. 'Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, 'From all of us at the Fire Station, We'll never forget you!'
Nesha-India last decade
Here's a Joke for today, for your Health & Happiness :
OFF TO Las Vegas
A man comes home to find his wife packing her bags. 'Where are you going?' he asked.
'To Las Vegas! I found out that there are men that will pay me $400 to do what I do for you for free!'
The man pondered that thought for a moment, and then began packing HIS bags.
'What do you think you are doing?' she screamed.
'Going to Las Vegas with you... I want to see how you live on $800 a year!'
OFF TO Las Vegas
A man comes home to find his wife packing her bags. 'Where are you going?' he asked.
'To Las Vegas! I found out that there are men that will pay me $400 to do what I do for you for free!'
The man pondered that thought for a moment, and then began packing HIS bags.
'What do you think you are doing?' she screamed.
'Going to Las Vegas with you... I want to see how you live on $800 a year!'
Nesha-India last decade
There was a large gathering of men and every one was talking about his courageous deeds.
One man got up and asked:
How many of you have the courage to ask a woman to shut her mouth !!
Nobody raised his had..only one did.
The one who had got up and asked the question said:
'You must be lying or joking !'
The guy said 'No ! I am not lying or joking....I am a dentist !'
One man got up and asked:
How many of you have the courage to ask a woman to shut her mouth !!
Nobody raised his had..only one did.
The one who had got up and asked the question said:
'You must be lying or joking !'
The guy said 'No ! I am not lying or joking....I am a dentist !'
♡ PANKAJ VARMA last decade
There was another large gathering of men and a speaker was there on the dias.
The speaker said:
All those who follow the dictates of their wives...step on to my left.
All those who don't do so ...step on to my right.
In a few minutes everyone was on his left side...only one guy on the right side.
The speaker addressed the one on the right side:
'Gentleman! I believe you ...but what makes you to stand on my right side.'
The guy replied:
'Oh..you see..whenever I leave home..my wife always say ..Peter! where ever you go... stand away from the crowd !'
The speaker said:
All those who follow the dictates of their wives...step on to my left.
All those who don't do so ...step on to my right.
In a few minutes everyone was on his left side...only one guy on the right side.
The speaker addressed the one on the right side:
'Gentleman! I believe you ...but what makes you to stand on my right side.'
The guy replied:
'Oh..you see..whenever I leave home..my wife always say ..Peter! where ever you go... stand away from the crowd !'
♡ PANKAJ VARMA last decade
In the erstwhile Soviet Union...religious talk was banned. So no one believed in GOD.
A Soviet diplomat was posted to New Delhi, India.
After three years he went back to Moscow. His friends asked him: what did you feel there in India ?
The guy said: see for the first time in my life I have begun to believe that there is a God.
His friends asked him: How do you think so.
The guy said: You see..in India the government doesn't do any work there...still somebody is controlling the country...it must be God only!!!
A Soviet diplomat was posted to New Delhi, India.
After three years he went back to Moscow. His friends asked him: what did you feel there in India ?
The guy said: see for the first time in my life I have begun to believe that there is a God.
His friends asked him: How do you think so.
The guy said: You see..in India the government doesn't do any work there...still somebody is controlling the country...it must be God only!!!
♡ PANKAJ VARMA last decade
Maybe happyface had a mistress like her, can't really blame her. I am clean, I spent many years in highschool.
lopez last decade
school is too boring and I am too happyface to be in school so I ran away with my friends lopez and homeopa_fan
Happyface last decade
A Mom comes to visit her son Kumar for dinner.....who lives with a
girl roommate Sunita. During the course of the meal, his mother
couldn't help but notice how pretty Kumar's, roommate was. She had
long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had
only made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she
started to wonder if there was more between Kumar and his roommate
than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, Kumar volunteered, 'I
know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Sunita and I are
just roommates.'
About a week later, Sunita came to Kumar saying, 'Ever since your
mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver plate. You
don't suppose she took it, do you?' Kumar said ,'Well, I doubt it, but
I'll email her, just to be sure.'
So he sat down and wrote :
Dear Mother:
I'm not saying that you 'did' take the silver plate from my house, I'm
not saying that you 'did not' take the silver plate.. But the fact
remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Love, Kumar
Several days later, Kumar received an email from his Mother which read
Dear Son:
I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Sunita, and I'm not saying
that you do not' sleep with Sunita. But the fact remains that if she
was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the silver plate by
now under the pillow...
Love,
Mom.
-----------------------------------
-----------------------
Lesson of the day:
Don't Lie to Your Mother...........
girl roommate Sunita. During the course of the meal, his mother
couldn't help but notice how pretty Kumar's, roommate was. She had
long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had
only made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she
started to wonder if there was more between Kumar and his roommate
than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, Kumar volunteered, 'I
know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Sunita and I are
just roommates.'
About a week later, Sunita came to Kumar saying, 'Ever since your
mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver plate. You
don't suppose she took it, do you?' Kumar said ,'Well, I doubt it, but
I'll email her, just to be sure.'
So he sat down and wrote :
Dear Mother:
I'm not saying that you 'did' take the silver plate from my house, I'm
not saying that you 'did not' take the silver plate.. But the fact
remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Love, Kumar
Several days later, Kumar received an email from his Mother which read
Dear Son:
I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Sunita, and I'm not saying
that you do not' sleep with Sunita. But the fact remains that if she
was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the silver plate by
now under the pillow...
Love,
Mom.
-----------------------------------
-----------------------
Lesson of the day:
Don't Lie to Your Mother...........
DaVinci last decade
An 85-year-old man went to his doctor's office.... and while there the doctor asked for a sperm count. He gave the man a jar and said, 'Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.'
The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asked what happened and the man explained:'Well, doc, it's like this. First I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, and still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit and she even tried squeezing it between her knees, but still nothing.'
The doctor was shocked! 'You asked your neighbor?'
The old man replied, 'Yep. And no matter what we tried, we still couldn't get the jar open.'
----------------
A man was having all virtues and one day he gets married. After the first
night, his friends ask him, 'Hey, how was the night bhai? Somehow you look
slightly worried.'
Replied our man 'Oh, everything went fine and I had a very nice time. But at
the end, out of habit I gave her Rs.1000!'
'Forget it man, anyway she is your wife and money will be with you fellows
only', consoled friends.
'Yeah, that is true. But what worried me is the fact that she immediately
returned Rs.200!'
The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asked what happened and the man explained:'Well, doc, it's like this. First I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, and still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit and she even tried squeezing it between her knees, but still nothing.'
The doctor was shocked! 'You asked your neighbor?'
The old man replied, 'Yep. And no matter what we tried, we still couldn't get the jar open.'
----------------
A man was having all virtues and one day he gets married. After the first
night, his friends ask him, 'Hey, how was the night bhai? Somehow you look
slightly worried.'
Replied our man 'Oh, everything went fine and I had a very nice time. But at
the end, out of habit I gave her Rs.1000!'
'Forget it man, anyway she is your wife and money will be with you fellows
only', consoled friends.
'Yeah, that is true. But what worried me is the fact that she immediately
returned Rs.200!'
DaVinci last decade
Da Vinci !
'Eggzactly!' 'Indians...I like your senses of humour!'
Courtesy.....
Salam Namaste !!
(From Bollywood.)
'Eggzactly!' 'Indians...I like your senses of humour!'
Courtesy.....
Salam Namaste !!
(From Bollywood.)
♡ PANKAJ VARMA last decade
'PANKAJ VARMA' & 'DaVinci' : That was very classic & good.
Here's a Joke for today, for your Health & Happiness :
HIGH FLYING EGO.
On walking into the factory, the MD noticed a young guy leaning against the wall, doing nothing. He approached the young man and calmly said to him, 'How much do you earn?'
The young man was quite amazed that he was asked such a personal question, he replied, none the less, 'I earn $ 2 000.00 a month, Sir. Why?'
Without answering, the MD took out his wallet and removed $ 6000.00 cash and gave it to the young man and said, 'Around here I pay people for working, not for standing around looking pretty! Here is 3 months' salary, now GET OUT and don't come back'.
The young man turned around and was quickly out of sight.
Noticing a few onlookers, the MD said in a very upset manner, 'And that applies for everybody in this company'.
He approached one of the onlookers and asked him, 'Who's the young man that I just fired?'
To which an amazing reply came of, 'He was the pizza delivery man.'
Here's a Joke for today, for your Health & Happiness :
HIGH FLYING EGO.
On walking into the factory, the MD noticed a young guy leaning against the wall, doing nothing. He approached the young man and calmly said to him, 'How much do you earn?'
The young man was quite amazed that he was asked such a personal question, he replied, none the less, 'I earn $ 2 000.00 a month, Sir. Why?'
Without answering, the MD took out his wallet and removed $ 6000.00 cash and gave it to the young man and said, 'Around here I pay people for working, not for standing around looking pretty! Here is 3 months' salary, now GET OUT and don't come back'.
The young man turned around and was quickly out of sight.
Noticing a few onlookers, the MD said in a very upset manner, 'And that applies for everybody in this company'.
He approached one of the onlookers and asked him, 'Who's the young man that I just fired?'
To which an amazing reply came of, 'He was the pizza delivery man.'
Nesha-India last decade
the manager of buisness comes into his factory and all the 'green' workers were hanging from the rafters --he looks up and says 'what the hell you doing up there?' ---they answer 'we're the lights.'
manager says--get down --your all fired!'----as they are all leaving --the manger sees all the 'red' workers leaving also---and the manager says'where do you think your going? there's work to be done!!!'
the 'red' workers answer 'you dont expect us to work without lights? do you?'''''
manager says--get down --your all fired!'----as they are all leaving --the manger sees all the 'red' workers leaving also---and the manager says'where do you think your going? there's work to be done!!!'
the 'red' workers answer 'you dont expect us to work without lights? do you?'''''
♡ John Stanton last decade
To post a reply, you must first LOG ON or Register
Important
Information given in this forum is given by way of exchange of views only, and those views are not necessarily those of ABC Homeopathy. It is not to be treated as a medical diagnosis or prescription, and should not be used as a substitute for a consultation with a qualified homeopath or physician. It is possible that advice given here may be dangerous, and you should make your own checks that it is safe. If symptoms persist, seek professional medical attention. Bear in mind that even minor symptoms can be a sign of a more serious underlying condition, and a timely diagnosis by your doctor could save your life.