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Laughter is the best Medicine : JOKES Page 6 of 14
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homeo_fan last decade
Earlier this year, the dazed crew of a Japanese Trawler was plucked out of the Sea of Japan clinging to the wreckage of their sunken ship.
Their rescue, however, was followed by immediate imprisonment once authorities questioned the sailors on their ship's loss. To a man they claimed that a cow, falling out of a clear blue sky, had struck the trawler amidships, shattering it's hull and sinking the vessel within minutes.
They remained in prison for several weeks, until the Russian Air Force reluctantly informed Japanese authorities that the crew of one of its cargo planes had apparently stolen a cow wandering at the edge of a Siberian airfield, forced the cow into the plane's hold and hastily taken off for home.
Unprepared for live cargo, the Russian crew was ill-equipped to manage a now rampaging cow within its hold. To save the aircraft and themselves, they shoved the animal out of the cargo hold as they crossed the Sea of Japan at an altitude of 30,000 feet.
Their rescue, however, was followed by immediate imprisonment once authorities questioned the sailors on their ship's loss. To a man they claimed that a cow, falling out of a clear blue sky, had struck the trawler amidships, shattering it's hull and sinking the vessel within minutes.
They remained in prison for several weeks, until the Russian Air Force reluctantly informed Japanese authorities that the crew of one of its cargo planes had apparently stolen a cow wandering at the edge of a Siberian airfield, forced the cow into the plane's hold and hastily taken off for home.
Unprepared for live cargo, the Russian crew was ill-equipped to manage a now rampaging cow within its hold. To save the aircraft and themselves, they shoved the animal out of the cargo hold as they crossed the Sea of Japan at an altitude of 30,000 feet.
kuldeep last decade
A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband.
Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store
operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE.
There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper
ascends the flights.
There is, however, a catch .. you may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband ..
On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.
The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.
The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking.
'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead
good looking and help with the housework.
'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!' Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead
gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor.
There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.
Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!
Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store
operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE.
There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper
ascends the flights.
There is, however, a catch .. you may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband ..
On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.
The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.
The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking.
'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead
good looking and help with the housework.
'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!' Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead
gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor.
There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.
Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!
DaVinci last decade
GREAT JOKE
The sign said they good jobs NOT THAT THEY WERE GOOD PROVIDERS.
Maybe they keep their money to THEMSELVES or WASTE it on street drugs.
It also did not define their personal characteristics or their moral and ethical values or whether or not they were responsible fathers and husbands. Did not mention whether they were materialistic or spiritual. Did not mention whether or not they had drinking or addiction problems.
THE WOMEN USED THEIR WOMEN'S INTUITION to decide the men looked good on signs but that was all.
GREAT SHALLOW TYPE JOKE
HAD A GREAT LAUGH!!!
The sign said they good jobs NOT THAT THEY WERE GOOD PROVIDERS.
Maybe they keep their money to THEMSELVES or WASTE it on street drugs.
It also did not define their personal characteristics or their moral and ethical values or whether or not they were responsible fathers and husbands. Did not mention whether they were materialistic or spiritual. Did not mention whether or not they had drinking or addiction problems.
THE WOMEN USED THEIR WOMEN'S INTUITION to decide the men looked good on signs but that was all.
GREAT SHALLOW TYPE JOKE
HAD A GREAT LAUGH!!!
Pat2006 last decade
Very inspiring joke WILL LAUGH ABOUT IT FOREVER
Maybe that is why there are so many problems in the world because women don't expect much from men. He merely has to have a job.
But then some women who are married to rich men are never satisfied so either way THE JOKES IS TOOOOOOO HILIRIOUS
STILL LAUGHING LOUDLY
Maybe that is why there are so many problems in the world because women don't expect much from men. He merely has to have a job.
But then some women who are married to rich men are never satisfied so either way THE JOKES IS TOOOOOOO HILIRIOUS
STILL LAUGHING LOUDLY
Pat2006 last decade
♡ PANKAJ VARMA last decade
Once upon a time, a beautiful, independent, self assured princess happened upon a frog in a pond. The frog said to the princess, 'I was once a handsome prince until an evil witch put a spell on me. One kiss from you and I will turn back into a prince and then we can marry, move into the castle with my mom, and you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children and forever feel happy doing so.'
That night, while the princess dined on frog legs, she kept laughing and saying, 'I don't think so.'
That night, while the princess dined on frog legs, she kept laughing and saying, 'I don't think so.'
kuldeep last decade
Once a man with serious head injuries is rushed to the hospital, all his relatives are in the waiting room when the Doctor walks in and says ' there is only one way to save this man's life he will need a Brain transplant' There are whispers as the family members discuss among themselves and then enquires about the cost, the Doctor replies '3000$ for a man's brain and 500$ for a woman's brain' All the men in the room try hard to suppress their laughs finally one man asks the question everybody has on their minds ie. why the big diifference in the prices???? To that the Doctor replies' A womans brain is used but a man's brain is absolutely new(unused) hence the difference'
Monika last decade
Wah Wah Monika ! Koi Jawab nahien aapka ??
(Wonderful Wonderful Monika !
I have no 'brains' to match your skills).
(Wonderful Wonderful Monika !
I have no 'brains' to match your skills).
♡ PANKAJ VARMA last decade
Four workers were discussing how smart their dogs were.
The first was an IBM employee who said his dog was an excellent craftsman. His dog was named 'T-squared', and he told his dog to go to the blackboard and draw a square, a circle, and a triangle which the dog did with no problem.
The Ford employee's dog was named 'Slide Rule', and he claimed his dog could do calculations. He told him to go fetch a dozen cookies, bring them back and divide them into four pilesof three each, which the dog did without eating a crumb.
The Bell Atlantic employee said that was all pretty good and started to show what his dog 'Measure' could do. He told him to go buy a quart of milk and pour exactly seven ounces of it into a 20 ounce glass, which the dog did without spilling a drop.
The three of them agreed that their dogs were all pretty smart and all wanted to see what the Government employee's dog could do. The Govenment employee snapped his fingers and his dog 'Coffee Break', strolled over, peed on the blackboard, ate the cookies, drank the milk, scre-wed the other three dogs, claimed he injured his back, filed a Workman's Compensation form and went home on sick leave.
The first was an IBM employee who said his dog was an excellent craftsman. His dog was named 'T-squared', and he told his dog to go to the blackboard and draw a square, a circle, and a triangle which the dog did with no problem.
The Ford employee's dog was named 'Slide Rule', and he claimed his dog could do calculations. He told him to go fetch a dozen cookies, bring them back and divide them into four pilesof three each, which the dog did without eating a crumb.
The Bell Atlantic employee said that was all pretty good and started to show what his dog 'Measure' could do. He told him to go buy a quart of milk and pour exactly seven ounces of it into a 20 ounce glass, which the dog did without spilling a drop.
The three of them agreed that their dogs were all pretty smart and all wanted to see what the Government employee's dog could do. The Govenment employee snapped his fingers and his dog 'Coffee Break', strolled over, peed on the blackboard, ate the cookies, drank the milk, scre-wed the other three dogs, claimed he injured his back, filed a Workman's Compensation form and went home on sick leave.
kuldeep last decade
Kaldeep
Where do you get these great jokes. They sure make me laugh.
Now I want to go work for the governement!!!
LOL
Thanks for entertaining us.
Where do you get these great jokes. They sure make me laugh.
Now I want to go work for the governement!!!
LOL
Thanks for entertaining us.
Pat2006 last decade
Wife: Honey..... What are You Looking for ?
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : Nothing...?? U've been reading our marriage certificate 4 an hour ??
Husband : I was just looking 4 the expiry date.
**********
Q - What is the Difference Between Mother & Wife ?
A - One Woman Brings U into this world crying... & the other ensures U
Continue to do so.
**********
Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.
**********
Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Husband: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your
picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Husband: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, 'What other problem can
there be greater than this one?'
**********
Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and
lighten your burden.
Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or troubles.
Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet.
**********
Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.
**********
A newly married man asked his wife, 'Would you have married me if my father
hadn't left me a fortune?'
'Honey,' the woman replied sweetly, 'I'd have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT
YOU A FORTUNE'
**********
Father to son after exam: 'let me see your report card.'
Son: 'My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents.'
**********
Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire?'
Millionaire: 'I owe everything to my wife.'
Interviewer: 'Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before you married her?'
Millionaire: ' Billionaire'
**********
Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.
The guy replies: Thanks for the warning. hahahahaha
**********
A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most in me my pretty face or my body?'
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'I like your sense of humor.
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : Nothing...?? U've been reading our marriage certificate 4 an hour ??
Husband : I was just looking 4 the expiry date.
**********
Q - What is the Difference Between Mother & Wife ?
A - One Woman Brings U into this world crying... & the other ensures U
Continue to do so.
**********
Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.
**********
Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Husband: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your
picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Husband: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, 'What other problem can
there be greater than this one?'
**********
Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and
lighten your burden.
Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or troubles.
Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet.
**********
Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.
**********
A newly married man asked his wife, 'Would you have married me if my father
hadn't left me a fortune?'
'Honey,' the woman replied sweetly, 'I'd have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT
YOU A FORTUNE'
**********
Father to son after exam: 'let me see your report card.'
Son: 'My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents.'
**********
Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire?'
Millionaire: 'I owe everything to my wife.'
Interviewer: 'Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before you married her?'
Millionaire: ' Billionaire'
**********
Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.
The guy replies: Thanks for the warning. hahahahaha
**********
A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most in me my pretty face or my body?'
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'I like your sense of humor.
DaVinci last decade
HOPE everybody enjoyed speculating about my absence. Nesha-India, enjoyed having the last laugh, on the above.
------------------------------------
Here's a Joke for today, for everyone's Health & Happiness :
WILD ANTICIPATION
An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one FRIDAY evening with a beautiful young gal at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend.
The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring and showed it to him. The old man said, 'I don't think you understand, I want something very special.'
At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over. 'Here's a stunning Diamond ring at only $40,000,' the jeweler said.
The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. The old man seeing this said, 'We'll take it.'
The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the old man stated, by check. ' I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank MONDAY to verify the funds and I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon,' he said.
MONDAY morning, a very teed-off jeweler phoned the old man. 'There's no money in that account.'
'I know', said the old man, 'but can you imagine the WILD ecstatic weekend the lady gave me?'.
------------------------------------
Here's a Joke for today, for everyone's Health & Happiness :
WILD ANTICIPATION
An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one FRIDAY evening with a beautiful young gal at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend.
The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring and showed it to him. The old man said, 'I don't think you understand, I want something very special.'
At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over. 'Here's a stunning Diamond ring at only $40,000,' the jeweler said.
The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. The old man seeing this said, 'We'll take it.'
The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the old man stated, by check. ' I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank MONDAY to verify the funds and I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon,' he said.
MONDAY morning, a very teed-off jeweler phoned the old man. 'There's no money in that account.'
'I know', said the old man, 'but can you imagine the WILD ecstatic weekend the lady gave me?'.
Nesha-India last decade
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