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Endogenous depression: Could a skilled homeopath advise me?

Dear abc,

I have had depression for 17 years. I don't think it is situational, as there was nothing going wrong in my life when it started, and it seems to have its own momentum.

This has led me to conclude that some physiological change occurred at puberty, but I have no idea what went wrong.

Please could a skilled homeopath advise me? I am female.
  kitfire on 2008-08-01
This is just a forum. Assume posts are not from medical professionals.
Would you please write your symptoms in detail ?

Everything you feel and any fears/anxieties, insecurities ..I want to know everything.
sameervermani last decade
Thankyou very much for your reply, Sameer.

1: Kitfire!
2. Age: 30
3. Sex : F
4. Unmarried
5. weight: 12 stone
6. Height : 5 ft 2
7. England
8. climate: Usually fairly cloudy, cold and rainy in the winter. Still cold often in spring, reasonably hot for about two months in the summer.
9. Family History: No official history of depression, but mother sometimes experiences low mood in terms of pessimism. Father is very deep feeling - I take after him. Sometimes he is sad.
10. Qualification of patient: college graduate
11. Nature of working: graduate student
12. Complexion: Biracial, thick curly hair, tan skin
13. Constitution: Well built... athletic build when training. Easy to lose fat round abdomen, persistent fat on backside.
14. Veg... have been veg on and off for about 10 years. Now I eat meat.
15. History of taking I drink tea a lot - eight cups a day.
16. List of your complain first
1. Low mood (for 17 years). Brightens in reaction to good news, but off relatively short duration.
2. Persistent sadness (for 17 years)
3. A lack of confidence (17 years... began with depression)
4. Purposelessness (12 years, began with failure to get into the college of my choice, unable to decide on anything).
5. Low libido (same age of onset as depression)

18. current medicine you are taking for each complaint: None
19. non Diabetic
20. Desire: sour/salt (fried potatoes, noodles, vege burgers, beer, cheese, spinach, pesto)
21. Thirst –Small quantity, short interval
22. Tongue color: white coating
23. Current BP: unknown
24. What exactly is happening ? Alienated feeling, with a lot of rumination and a sense of hopelessness. Sometimes talk to myself. Long for the night over day, as it allows me to daydream more, and is quieter. Currently too ill to work.
25. How do you feel ? Despair on waking.... ashamed of body (angry with breasts, feeling of vulnerability)
26. How does this affect you ? Difficult to connect to others.
27. How does it feel like ? Failure, shameful, I feel I have done something bad.
28. What comes to your mind ? Things of the past, past slights toward me, thinking I should have done things a different way, gone to a different college, married someone I used to know.
29. One situation that had a big effect on you ? I didn't get into the college I wanted to.
30. How did that feel like ? Pain in heart. Staring out of window. Tears.

32. What are you showing by that gesture of your hand.(habits or Action) ? Palms outstretched and flexed>
33. desire or like and dislike of food: love food.
33. Name of foods which increase your problem: I don't know. Probably caffeine.
34. Body odor ,/sweating/- Sweat quite a lot, strong odor during menses, have to wash often.
35. List the right word for you:
Morose, Quarrelsome, Lachrymose, Anxious, Despairing, Sad, Fearful, Restless, dullness, Anger, Being overwhelmed, Depression and gloom Despair and faithlessness , Despondency from overwork, Doubt or Discouragement, Easy impressionability, Fear and Shyness, Fear for the others welfare, Fear of losing mental balance, Feeling of powerlessness, Guilty and self-blame, Hard master onto oneself with an urge to inspire others, Hopelessness, Immaturity of Mind/Emotions, failure to learn from mistakes impatience, indecision indifference or boredom lack of mental tranquility, lack of motivation and incentive longing for past happiness, nostalgia, low self-confidence, Mental Fatigue, Mental torture or worry, Mental/emotional and physical weariness, Overcome for welfare of others, Resentment and bitterness, Sadness, grief, shock, Self centered talkativeness, Self-distrust, Shame or feelings of uncleanliness, jealousy, Fear from known thing, fear from unknown thing. Dilikes public speaking
36. Aggravation (increases-time, season,)& Amelioration (Decreases) Worse in winter, worse in daytime.
kitfire last decade
Any history of abuse/indignation or humiliation ?

Do you find it very difficult to ask for help ?
sameervermani last decade
What kind of weather do you like ?

Are you chilly or warm blooded ?

What is your response to consolation when you are feeling low ? Do you like it ?
sameervermani last decade
No history of abuse. Apparently I was very outgoing as a baby, but became very shy at kindergarten. I had a childminder who smacked me on two occasions when I was four, behind my parwents' back, so I resented going to her. I was very shy at primary school. I worked hard but was under-confident and really lived for the time I could come back to the home I loved.

At high school I became much more outgoing, and for two years I was blissfully happy: lots of friends, sport, good marks and fun. I really came out of my shell. Then the depression hit without explanation at 13 and I went right back in again.

I tend to swallow indignation. I can't come up with a response if someone makes a 'bullying' remark toward me. Had a bad time for part of university: people I lived with would call me things like 'mongrel', but I still wasn't able to stick up for myself.

I find it very difficult to ask for help: I like to give an impression of self-sufficiency.

I love humid weather, sunny weather, and grey skies provided the weather is warm. I like thunderstorms, tropical rainstorms, rainbows, very clear days.... Really any type of weather which reminds me of the totality of nature in motion. I hate stagnant weather - white clouds, chilly
rainy weather, and wind.

I'm warm blooded.

I can be quite contrary about consolation. I like to be consoled by people close to me, provided they say the right thing. But I hate it when someone consoles me if I've been trying to give the impression I'm ok.

Also, I love sweet furry animals, especially cats, and also 'gentle giants', like giraffes, horses and elephants. I'm very afraid of spiders.

I have strange dreams that make little sense to me. One time recently I was interviewing Margaret Thatcher in my sleep. Another time, my father tried in vain to remove a spider that was crawling all over me. A third time, I was in the middle of a beautiful sea. It was a tidal wave but completely peaceful.
kitfire last decade
Do you supress anger a lot ?

Any trembling from emotions ?
sameervermani last decade
Do you dwell a lot about past events where your honour got wounded ?
sameervermani last decade
Thanks Sameer...

I think I probably suppress anger quite a lot. Sorry, but I'm not sure whether I actually tremble from emotions. Yes, I dwell on past 'honour wounding'. Also, I go through a lot of irresolution, where I doubt my direction in life, and abilities, although the occupational feedback from workplaces tends to be very positive. So that causes a lot of anxiety.
kitfire last decade
And, do you think about revenge as well ?
sameervermani last decade
Also tell me more about these 2 things that you mention above:

-Failure, shameful, I feel I have done something bad.

-Feelings of uncleanliness
sameervermani last decade
No - I don't think about revenge. Actually, I'm not sure I suppress anger, for that matter.

I just feel ashamed about being depressed. Don't know what else to say about it.

Do you think Silica might be indicated? I have read about them and they seem to fit.
kitfire last decade
Please take a SINGLE dose of Pulsatilla 200c on an empty stomach. Just rinse your mouth with plain water before taking the dose.

No eating/drinking/brushing teeth for 1 hr on either side of the dose.

Report status in 1 week after this.
sameervermani last decade
Thanks Sameer...

how would the prognosis differ if I had suppressed anger, and felt vengeful?

The uncleanliness is due to lack of thinking clearly, I think.

I don't think Pulsatilla is available in my health shop. Is there anything else you would recommend?
kitfire last decade
You can buy it online.

I would have gone in for Staphysagria if you had suppressed anger and felt vengeful.

One remedy cannot do for another one, you have to take Pulsatilla.
sameervermani last decade
Thanks Sameer...

Maybe I do have suppressed anger, because I try to not feel it at all, but occasionally I have angry outbursts. I think my family dislikes anger as well.

If Staphysagria is indicated, would you recommend a single does 200c? And how would I know if it is actually working? What should I look for?
kitfire last decade
That's a genuine question, btw.

I hope I don't convey as too 'flip-floppy' if I belatedly guess that I do, in fact, suppress emotions.
kitfire last decade
Hmm.. maybe it would be better to start with Pulsatilla.

The feeling of 'having dne something wrong' is also more of a Pulsatilla symptom.

If it is the correct medicine, you will know it is working, believe me
sameervermani last decade
Hmm... I think I may have messed up by own prognosis because I played down the emotions to try and land silica....

Would 30c pulsatilla be ok? That way I can get it from the shops in town.
kitfire last decade
Yes, please take 3 doses of Pulsatilla 30c equally spaced on a single day.

No eating/drinking/brushing teeth for 1 hr on either side of each dose.

After these 3 doses, just wait for 1 week (or earlier if you see a change) and report status.
sameervermani last decade
Thanks for your advice, Sameer.

There has been no improvement in mood after a week with the Pulsatilla. The one other remedy I've tried in the past was Sepia 200C, and there was no improvement from that either.
kitfire last decade
Okay, then my next choice would be Staphysagria 30c , 3 doses . The dosing procedure remains the same.

Report in 5 days.
sameervermani last decade
Thankyou. It's very kind of you to look after so many people like this.
kitfire last decade
One question...

I cannot get staphysagria in my local store.... is it just as effective to take one dose of 200C staph as 30c in 3 doses?
kitfire last decade
Yes, you can take 1 single dose of 200c.

But, take care that nothing enters your mouth, 1 hour before and 1 hour after taking the remedy.

Also make sure there are no strong odours around you for this day.
sameervermani last decade
Thanks, Sameer.

There has been no change from the Staphysagria. Could you advise me what I might try next?

kitfire last decade

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