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Stronger Potency or Better Remedy? Page 12 of 44

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i am strongly considering lachesis---

right now sorting through what is typical (pre may 8th ) experiences and those that started after-- attempting narrow down to key issue...key symptoms...with associated modalities...posible some other snake remedy -lesser known---
 
John Stanton last decade
John I should also tell you probably starting sometime in September, mostly at night I was really scared afraid that I was being physically injured by the entities. Like I would swear that I was seeing marks on my skin and there may have been marks but it was probably just the indentations I notice now on my skin from laying on stuff when sleeping. And at one point I saw a mark all the way up my arm and I was afraid that my whole arm was disappearing and then of course afraid that I was going to die or that I was dying. Also many times when I was in the other state, not in PA, I kept feeling like I was dying. Like I would be freaking out and saying that I'm dying, I'm dying. Not the sensationt that I was going to die. One instance in particular I thought I was seeing white light, like okay, this is it, I'm dying. Then other times, maybe October/November I started seeing colors like Purple/Red.

Also forgot to mention that during the event on May 8th, or just before the trauma came on, there was like this mist or fog in the air, or so it seemed, and after too. And I don't think it lasted long, but sometimes after I would feel like I would notice that there was something like that in the air. Not often though, and can't really say I have that feeling today.

Also something that really started happening, and I guess I may have had a minor degree of this before May 8th, but very very minor if at all. But months after May 8th, also started (along with the seeing colors and stuff), saw halos around objects (still have this, but mostly only when tired at night, this used to happen to me when I was tired even before May 8th), and in addition, if I was in a room where there was a light on, and if I was looking at the light, for the next mimute or so, everywhere in the house I would go if I blink I would see the bright light from that light in other rooms, in other places, like it stays with me.
 
homeopathyguy last decade
Let me clarify something. Seeing red and purple were more halos around things rather than just seeing those colors. Though I may have seen just those colors in the air too.

And also, have always seen bright lights in vision or the image of the light flash by my visual field when tired (of course only in a dark room). It has just gotten worse since May 8th.

Not so much seeing halos anymore. Again, all this was when extremely tired from not sleeping well, worse from. Always better from sleep. In fact all symptoms seem to improve from sleep, so it's interesting that all the remedies we've tried, sleep problems seems to always be a common aggravation.
 
homeopathyguy last decade
Also keep thinking back to PHOS 12c and the extreme reaction I got to it. My most unusual and major complaints got worse, so does that mean 12c was too strong? Would it be worth a a shot to go lower yet like 9c?
 
homeopathyguy last decade
Also lately, I've been forgetting what I was going to say A LOT. I mean it's typical for me ever now and then, but the other day I noticed it like five times within one conversation. Really frustrating. Drives me crazy when I can't think of what I was going to say. And usually it's that I have to say it RIGHT AWAY when I think of it or I will forget if somebody says something else, and my thoughts get interrupted. Sometimes I can remember it again if I can remember what I was thinking about just before what I was going to say. And the other thing is, my mind works so strange (have always been this way), that things remind me of other things. Example, someone might be talking about say a new car they bought, and it will remind me of something I did five years ago, nothing related to cars. I usually tie in an association like the color of the car or it was a sunny day when they bought the car and it was a sunny day when the thing happened to me five years ago or something. But I seem to have random memory triggers or something. It's odd.
 
homeopathyguy last decade
Lots of itching of the skin yesterday. Particularly the lower legs, shins. Part that socks cover. And also under armpits. This is pretty consistent whole life though. On my shins I think there are spots where I did actualy scratch it open from itching too much, it was pretty bad.
 
homeopathyguy last decade
Not to add to the confusion but something else today I noticed and this has been more so recently, don't know how long I've had it, but definitely not a normal thing for me is 'feeling like something is funny even when it shouldn't be.' Like my grandmother a couple times now told me some serious things can't even think what it was now, but I'm smiling/smirking and yet in my mind I'm thinking, don't smile about this, it isn't funny, which makes me smile even more. And like today when I was driving a rabbit ran out under my car and I hit it, couldn't avoid it and I started smiling/laughing like I thought it was funny that I killed it and I would never do that. Mostly it's when I'm partially feeling as if I'm in a daze, far off and just indifferent to things, and not as feeling as I used to be. But it alternates too, it's like random states where sometimes I couldn't be depressed if Itried and other times where I ccan't be anything but depressed no matter what I do.
 
homeopathyguy last decade
phos potency--when aggravation of existing symptoms-and recurrance of old symptoms (which ocurred sometime in health history) and no betterment after reponse to dose (when aggravtaion has settled) then reconsideration of case -- ;if same remedy seems well indicated--then possible obstruction to cure exists....before repeating phos --i would have expected some improvement after aggravtion---possible i prescribe nat-m too soon--so distrupt pure resonse to pjos--this is uncertain......if phos is only partial to case and not addressing key issue at hand--then such a respnse will also be had--as dong proving (in a sense)....

few remedies in consideration in fuller list---lach;anac;phos;stram;sulph

laughing symptom-is of importance---may be over respons e to nat-m (which ha this characeristic in its pathos)---AND IF CONTINUES WILL GUIDE TO PROPER REMEDY CHOICE; in combination with other existing symptms-
 
John Stanton last decade
I feel like Anacardium and Stramonium fit me pretty well.

Anacardium - Divided self, separate, separate from family, group, society.

Have always felt like I don't fit in. Like I don't belong in this world or don't fit in in the world.

Indecision - Even from the youngest age I could never make decisions. I can remember easily narrowing down my choice of what toy I wanted as a kid (when my grandparents would take me shopping) to two things, but then it would take me two hours or more to decide between those two. And it would always get to the point where I would finally be forced to make a decision at the very last minute because we'd have to go (and even then I would switch back and fourth several times before it was the absolute last time I could do it without everyone getting totally frustrated with me) and then later would question, did I do the right thing. Still same way today with any decision. I can never decide on anything because I'm never sure what the right thing is. Yes or No? I'll finally convince myself that YES is the right answer but just when I feel I'm convinced of that there's this feeling that comes back, 'well, maybe it is no,' and thus the doubt sets in and question even more. Pray for answers, and feel like I get an answer one way, and then I decide okay that's what I'm going to do, then later something else happens and I feel like that was the sign that I should have done the other thing and so it goes back and fourth.

Have always felt alone, that even God has deserted me, left me. Never answers me, feel like I'm alone, have to figure things out on my own because I don't get any guidance when I pray. And can't figure it out on my own, tormented by the indecision and trying to decide between this or that.

Stramonium also seems to fit me really well: (Put things that really fit me in quotes)

Stramonium persons need 'constant support from their social environment'. They are persons that grew up 'dependent on an overprotective mother', who often feels ambivalent about her parental role. Therefore these persons have 'not developed the adaptability needed to confront the stress of their environment'.

They 'need support to bear any external change'. They behave like babies rather than like grown-ups. Babies are 'attached to their mothers and if left alone, they feel lonely and helpless'. They 'need their mothers to satisfy every need they have'. This is the situation corresponding to this remedy.

Of course being an adult and having the emotional needs of a baby causes problems. It is difficult to provide constant support to persons who – considering their biological and social standards – should be independent. Thus these persons experience 'constant frustrations that provoke an intense aggressiveness'. It is the aggressiveness babies feel towards a bad breast, because it does not satisfy their needs.

Expression of aggressiveness however is not the rule in this remedy. These persons show their aggressiveness further and the environment becomes a threat. Therefore not only they 'feel abandoned but threatened as well'. They feel like being a man of the city lost in the jungle. Behind every foliation movement there might be a wild animal ready to tear them into pieces – illusion of being alone in a wild place. Thus they adapt a 'frightened attitude.'

Identifications without demarcation from reality facilitate segmental projection and introjection of various elements; as a result of that a Stramonium personality may show contrasting qualities at a certain time. The contrasting elements make the person take a position with 'ambivalence on various subjects.' There is a fluidity of the Ego boundaries, 'there is no basic framework on which basic information will be built and elaborated.' A person like that has 'doubts about his very own existence, he doubts his identity.'

This kind of persons are 'easily offended and injured by their first frustration of their wishes.' Thus they 'withdraw quickly from displeasing stimulations as an act of defense.' They 'create then an imaginary world and live in it. In their fantasy they create love affairs, friends, family, a spouse.' They 'fantasize about people supporting them.' They 'spend hours in making imaginary stories and monologues.'

(So often do I imagine things in my head the way I would want them to go. Like I see my mom responding positively to me in a situation where she normally wouldn't. I see myself in a happy relationship. I picture myself discovering the remedy that cures all my symptoms. Living in a house that I like, having a job that I enjoy. You name it, I just play all this stuff out in my mind)
 
homeopathyguy last decade
In fact, much of the indecision that I have leads to much frustration, grief, torment, anguish (ALL MENTAL. ie. mental grief, mental anguish etc.) and if continues, leads to anger and rage, because constantly feel divided between one choice an another, doing one thing or doing another. Really I started dowsing because I felt like I could get a definite yes, definite no to questions that I had. So it was my crutch for my inability to make decisions. Since when I dowsed I felt like I got spiritual insight, and it had to be the right answer or at least a better choice than I could make on my own. And it was something I could physically see with my eyes, OKAY, this is the answer. Not one of praying and then feeling like I got an answer to my prayer which rarely happens. Sometimes when I feel like I got answers to my prayers it's just me looking so hard that I find something. So most of the time I feel like I pray, pray, pray, pray and never get any response, so I feel like on one hand I don't know what to do, God doesn't intervene to help me decide what to do and nobody else knows what to do either, so it's this constant agony of what do I do? My grandmother calls me a modern day Job where it seems like God has deserted me and everything seems to go wrong that can or I am unlucky, have lots of hardships etc.
 
homeopathyguy last decade
Just noticed in my Repertory that Lachesis is indicated for 'body feeling lighter than air,' and 'feeling that the body is disintegrating,' very interesting.
 
homeopathyguy last decade
While doing some study on delusions, came across this info, and while this was based on the remedy Thuja, it makes sense as I follow the process, how these strange sensations I'm experiencing can be almost symbolic of something else. What particularly caught my attention here was the mention of the physical body being lighter than air and what that represents and/or other ways to look at the situation when looking for a remedy match. Like I never would have thought of looking at Changeable, chaotic, confused behavior, but does make sense because feeling like my body is lighter than air, I also have the feeling and I think I may have mentioned this before, but feeling like I'm going to lose control over my body. At the mercy of the wind, changeable according to the circumstances of the day!!! That is very accurate for me. I've always been that way, seem to be guided by whatever is happening at the time, and let myself be controlled by external factors. Not sure that all this is accurate or a good way of looking at things, but think there may be some truth in here that applies to my situation:

With a dissolved body, 'incarnation,' meaning 'to get into the flesh,' can hardly happen. That means that the body is barely experienced (Delusion body is fragile/brittle/lighter than air; light, incorporeal, he is). Without a body ('guard'), you are not only very open but also very vulnerable to outside influences. There is no way to defend yourself (Dreams, teeth breaking off). If you are lighter than air, you are at the mercy of the wind, and you can fall a prey to outside forces. You are no longer in control (Fear of wind; Delusion, under superhuman control). In everyday life, you are at the mercy of cicumstances and lose yourself in adjusting to your surroundings. You become the chameleon (Bill Gray); (Irresolute, changeable; Chaotic, confused behaviour; Inconstancy of thoughts; Confusion as to his identity).

In order to find yourself again you must be alone (Aversion to company). Even the sight of people may trigger you to tune in to the other person, losing yourself as a consequence (Aversion to company, avoids the sight of people). With a fragile body, you have to be very careful, cautious, and constantly alert that nothing or no one will to harm you (Fear of touch; Fear others approaching him; Suspicious). You are especially averse to influences that you did not experience before you had to be on guard (Fear of strangers), and you are also susceptible to other foreign substances; your body is quite defenseless (Ailments from vaccinations). You have to hide your vulnerability and brittleness out of self defense. If you are not constantly on guard, people (and other creatures) can just walk in (Delusion, animals/ voices in abdomen; Delusion, head belongs to another) and the only response you have is bewilderment and confusion. For an adequate emotional response/defense you need a body and need to be grounded. With an already very weak tie between soul and body an easy way out is to escape from the body (Delusion, body and soul are separated) and enter the spirit world (Delusion, sees phantoms/people/dead persons; Delusions, someone is present; Converses with absent people). Death is the ultimate and definite separation between body and soul (Death, desires; Loathing of life; Delusion, thought he was about to die; Delusion, time has come to die; Dreams of dying).

A body also provides solidity and structure; two feet to stand upon. It gives us an identity, and when lacking a body (Confusion as to his identity; Chaotic; Irresolution, changeable) you go and look for structure outside. And when you have found something, you will hold on to that fanatically as if it was a religion (Fanaticism, religious; Fixed ideas; Obstinate; Monomania).

You find yourself untruthful when you lose yourself in your surrounding; untrue to your real inner self. You reproach and even feel contempt for yourself for that (Reproaches himself; Contempt of self) and you feel unlovable (Bill Gray). You try to compensate by being very conscientious and scrupulously truthful (Borland).



Maybe two years back was having dreams of my teeth breaking off, hasn't happened in a lot time. Just very interesting when I read this and saw that mentioned.

Also thought of a good way to describe to you how objects move or seem to jump. Have you ever done that obstacle illusion where you hold your finger up in the air and line it up with something further away. Then you close one eye and keep the other open and then when you switch eyes (closing one that was open, and opening one that was closed) how it looks like your finger moved, even though your finger clearly did not move. It's that kind of a movement.
 
homeopathyguy last decade
The more I read on Lachesis, the more I see characteristics that fit, but a lot in Anac/Stram too and parts of Sulphur as well, so not sure, what do you think John?

I keep trying to think of something very peculiar (yet something SOLID, as opposed to the unusual sensations I have that I may not be describing accurately) since the May 8th incident that isn't something that seemed like a predisposition before the event. Example, not peculiar, but just an example . . the anger, rage, got even worse after May 8, but I had that to a degree before hand.

It seems like I had more of a desire to curse at people and things than usual, this would be though because of my rage/anger and also jealousy if it was relationship based rage.

Sensation of body disappearing or disintegrating is probably the biggest and only one I can think of. Possibly also the feeling of being able to pass through solid objects. Not that I can, and realisticially I know I can't, but sometimes when touching solid things, mostly in a sense of leaning against them either with body or feet propped up, feels as if my body could go through the table or something.
 
homeopathyguy last decade
Also the sensation of feeling like I don't know my own body and even in a mirror looking at myself, like, 'Who are you,' Not that I don't know who I am, but just it seems strange or something. But again, I've kind of had that 'everything unreal feeling,' most of my life along with the feelings of deja vu (happens to me a lot too).
 
homeopathyguy last decade
delusios are inteesting--and i use as confirmaion nly--as long as i am certain that my interpretation is correct--this why concomitatnt symptoms -pecular combination of symptoms are sohelpful--as are sensations expeienced--again prper interpretation is important....

thuja--that is an interesting twist--view----

right now iamsiing around idea --that you were (seemed to be) pyschically attacked/approached---an d due to you sensitivities---current state exists--seems lke med/phos/nat-m---are addressing pre may 8th issues/patterns...etc......

also seems that being back in home area-has become a sort of haven--not as drastically affceted --yet sensation reminenets exist--scarring of the incident---though mother may represent certain thing for you-it seems she also is having protection in a way from further damage--from whatever you were dabling in.

tormenting ideas and such point to lach---but not cetain that you are actually tormented---

if in fact there is an outside entity--and if factis accepted--i see no way can influence unless--given permissin/belief/power/will--and even then would be more acting through than possession-----i dont see possession here--or 2 wills existing at once...i see fear -as in being preditorized---more like pursued--escape-----sensations being used as vehile of expression to represent vitaes way of dealing with this...

brings back aroundto phoshorous;stram;lach
 
John Stanton last decade
yeah, sounds like a really good assessment John.

Definitely feel that you are right about being attacked by something. Wish I knew what effect energetically it had, but I guess again that's looking at it the wrong way, symptoms should still point to a remedy I guess, right? Ashame there isn't more indicated for psychic influences. China is high in that regard, but not really what I need I don't think.

Being home definitely makes a difference because I feel safe, it's my home town, I know the place, feel comfortable.

Also the fact of not being able to get a job when I was in the other state (even though I was applying for everything including fast food jobs, despite having all kinds of sales and some management experience), took me only a few weeks after getting back home. Not having a job really limited my options and was spending a lot more time at home and more time to 'THINK' about things which didn't help me either.

After the incident on May 8th, I had been at home yet for a few months before I moved and almost at the stage I'm at now where I still had some times that were scary, but nothing to the point of how it was out there. The other thing that really helped was that I was still trying to do my dowsing and stuff when I was out there and when I moved back, I totally got rid of all that stuff, just stopped doing it. Still do some other stuff, but nothing with dowsing as that seems to attract spirits to me for whatever reason. In fact, just before I had totally quit doing it, when I was going back and fourth, everytime I'd go back and touch the pendulum I would start going into a panic. And was feeling attacked. So yeah it's almost like a severe trauma that has been stored in my body that I'm not able to let go of or overcome.

Mom is very strong, not just physically she just has a strong constitution, which is why she rarely gets sick. I would guess that whatever it is, wouldn't hang around or bother if she is around. We'll see how things progress now that I'm in my own place. Tonight is the first night.

Yeah, tormented is not necessarily right, it's more just feeling vulnerable, without protection. I was thinking about that today earlier too, that even before all this began I used to like to wear certain clothing that was heavier because I would feel more comfortable, safer, almost as if it provided a shield for me.

Yeah, I believe the attack and if there is something still currently affecting me was totally brought on by myself, me giving it permission through the stuff I was messing around with. What a stupid thing to have done, but again it was messing around with stuff and just felt like, 'Okay, I can do this, nothing is going to hurt me, blah blah.' At that time wasn't even sure if I believed in entities or anything. So even though I'm not a person to be arrogant, on that day I was definitely feeling arrogant in the sense that they couldn't hurt me. Was trying to clear a friend of an entity and didn't really know what I was doing and just feel that I just brought it to me. And like you say, not possession, working through. It works through areas in my life where I am prone to fear, worry, have mental/emotional issues. Feeds those natural fears. But yes, ultimately I could become stronger, but it's hard for me because I am so sensitive, feel like I don't have the ability to resist outside influences.
Works through predisposed area of weakness. If indeed this is a spiritual imbalance with some physical results, ie, psychic influence affecting brain/inner ear (vertigo). I've always had deep mental/emotional issues long before this. I've always had issues with ears from little on up. Started out as earaches, then the last couple years it was ears clogging up, wax build up etc.

And when I was much younger, was afraid of monsters and stuff. One time at a summer camp the person in charge actually showed us 12 year old kids some Freddie Kruegger horror movie. Well, it was horrible, she later got fired, my mom called and got her fired, but I had to have lights on at night, was scared for months, had that image in my mind of the parts of that movie. Thought there were monsters in my room.

Again have always been prone to being startled, hearing noises in the house. Jumping at sounds, looking around, feeling like someone is there, or something is there.

One time I took a quinolone antibiotic and it had a profound effect on my nervous system and produced a very similar paranoia to what I had after the May 8th incident. I was scared at night, couldn't sleep, afraid something was going to happen, was sweating like crazy. Even thought I saw a dead person sitting on the one chair. So of course I stopped taking that right away and never had problems like that after that.

Originally I was leaning toward Stramonium myself, but now I don't know Lachesis also seems very good.

I can remember maybe five years ago being in such deep despair over religious issues, almost to the point where I wanted to just die because I couldn't figure out what the right thing was. Like it's an issue that I can't know for sure 100% one way or the other, nobody can and that kind of stuff drives me crazy, because I can't let stuff go until I know. So when I have a situation like that it just eats at me and I expend so much of my energy going back and fourth trying to rationalize, figure things out, research, study, think, what if this, what if that, etc. etc.

Also while I was in the other state, and part of this I was seeing as grounding, trying to be more grounded, but it could also be the protection thing. I was craving lots of fats/sweets, and just generally really heavy stuff. And of course was putting on lots of weight. Still have been with the feeling I need to eat, but more just needing to eat rather than wanting anything in particular. The medorrhinum really helped with the ice cream bit which I'm not craving at all and when I do eat it, it's just a little at a time.

Also I think about how for years I didn't eat any sweats or anything, was really strict about not eating any junk stuff, and when i moved out to the other state, let the girl talk me into trying more stuff and then it was like I just went wild, and I feel that way about a alot of things in my life, that if I don't stick to something and be strict and totally deny myself something I will go over the top with it.
 
homeopathyguy last decade
Okay, had an interesting dream last night, had this one before too, not sure how long ago, I'm pretty sure it was before May 8th though. That a cat we used to have was possessed by an evil spirit and it was trying to bite me to transfer the spirit possession to me. Somehow I managed to escape it.

Also I was in a truck with my dad and brother and we were for whatever reason going off the road and down over a bank and thought for sure we were going to die, but we made it.

Forgot to mention, several days ago had a dream where I had my car sitting on the edge of a building or something and went to get in it and drive it away from the edge so it wouldn't fall and ended up pushing it right over the edge when I walked up to it. Was of course really upset about that.
 
homeopathyguy last decade
John, the other thing, if you think it's going to be either Stram or Lach (already have Phos in 1LM), I could order them awhile so I have them on hand since I don't have either (have Lach in a 3LM, but I'm sure that's too strong).
 
homeopathyguy last decade
Also a dream of being in a treehouse (FORT) that we used to have at our first house. And there were lots of people trying to invade it, trying to get in, and I was pushing them off the sides, some were coming up the slide and were pushing them back down too, some up the steps to the one door in the treehouse and again pushing them off to the ground. Like being attacked from all sides.

I also remember people with spears trying to kill others with them. I think I eventually snuck out of the fort and ran while all the chaos was going on, but not sure. Was never hurt in any way.
 
homeopathyguy last decade
Oh and yeah, I'm not really so sure there is two wills either, there is just this nagging part of me that always makes me doubt everything. The part that says to me, 'this person is an idiot, don't even listen to them.' When I really have an interest in listening to the person and do really care what they have to say. Same part of me that wants to scream or shout something out in a quiet room, but of course I'm way too reserved to do something so crazy like that. Mostly I think because the total quiet drives me crazy. I notice that too in places where I sleep, like I almost prefer to have noise in the background (like with the wanting a fan going or something) or traffic noise outside. Total quiet drives my brain crazy because it needs to be processing something. Again though, all this is nothing new. Had this long before May 8th.

Another thing peculiar, and again I think it's the safety issue, feeling comfortable. Is that I like to wear the same clothes all the time. Like I'll have a favorite shirt and a favorite pair of pants and I'll wear it till it falls apart and then still be really really upset when it has to be thrown out, like, 'Can't it be fixed.' I think back to when I was much much younger and had a blanket that I used to carry around with me everywhere I went, same thing with Grover stuffed animal (sesame street), and I wore those things out till they looked like they had been through a war and mom would finally take them from me when they needed to be thrown out and it was always very upsetting to me because it was hard for me to let go, even probably at an age past when I should have had them. Again, security.

When I find something I like, something that works for me, I stick with it even past the point when I should no longer be holding onto it.

In this same vein, Kent's Lectures on Sulphur have some things like this about wearing the same clothes. Not caring if they are dirty or not.

Like to be dressy casual all the time. Even around home when I don't have to go to work. Mom gets upset because she thinks I should just be wearing a t-shirt and sweat pants or something, but no, I have to have my dress shirt (like polo shirts) and khakis on. And for some reason if I dress down, my mood goes down. If I'm all nicely dressed I feel better. (Conium - wears his best clothes? Not sure).

Again though, all this was the case even before May 8th.
 
homeopathyguy last decade
Also, I can be very moody, antisocial at times. Extremely shy, introverted, like to stay in the back, out of the limelight.

Also much of the time I think I tend to withdraw and hide from others because I'm ashamed. Ashamed of who I am, what I do, not feeling like I live up to or measure up to standards. Don't feel like a success or worthy. Like all I ever do is cause problems for people. Like I'm just an inconvenience, a bother. Always feel like I'm imposing, that others have far more important things to do than talk to me or do things with me.
 
homeopathyguy last decade
i am thinking along the lines of followed-pursued by something un wanted---always there -even if only in background---not certain where to go with this yet---butthat is my thinking....almost like 'BIG BROTHER' watching yet in a way more disturbing....i dont see it as a paronoia--though maybe in a way can end there---i se it more anxious--anxious get away thasort of thinking...

and yes --correct-symptoms are our guide to treatment to be used...

and LM1 of any remedy we have been considering is good to have on hand--LM3 will be ok with lachesis--if have access to 2 dram botles (1/4 oz) and vodka--then we can make LM1:LM2:LM3....etc without need purchase...

what i find of interest is that this occured while dosing --to help a friend rid of such influence--what was the result of freinds problem after this may 8th episode?
 
John Stanton last decade
My friend's marriage was falling apart, her husband was cheating on her and they were headed to divorce. I cleared an entity which I think I really was no supposed to do. It was extremely powerful, and after this incident, the relationship took a turn for the better (much better). I think down the road they still struggled some. But it was at the point where I was sure there was no saving the marriage and after I did that clearing work things started falling into place. And I feel like it totally interferred with my relationship with this girl later, and it was at least for me as if it worked on my deepest and worst fears. Bring out all the worst parts of me to their extreme.
 
homeopathyguy last decade
Yeah, you've got the right idea. Not sure what to call it either, because it seems like it's not to the degree of paranoia, but yet a subtle 'something' always in the background and always on my mind.

Not really sure this is relevant or not, but when I was younger I used to joke about space friends that I had, their names were Charlie and Erve and while to some degree I knew it wasn't real, I would act like it was. That I really knew them. I would mostly just tell my brother this stuff and also of course I was an informant to the FBI, or was on some secret service mission or something. I always had some high profile thing that I was making up to tell him, rarely others, but sometimes others. I wanted to look important I guess.
 
homeopathyguy last decade
what do you man excatly? ''ruined relation with this girl''
 
John Stanton last decade
Well, just intuitively I felt like there was something working against the two of us coming together and I wonder if I didn't bring something into my life that was supposed to cause a wedge between my friend and her husband. The girl I went out to the other state to live near. It just seemed like everything started falling apart and maybe that was just one of those - 'Wasn't meant to be things,' but I wasn't even half the same person I normally am. And basically I made quiet an impression that she'll never forget. Along with the fear constantly that I was dying. I would be in jealous fits of rage and anger and swearing at her and saying mean things, ugly things that I would never do normally. I mean it was really intense. I've been angry before but never to the point where I caused that much drama and pain. And it was like we couldn't even stand to be together for more than a minute and we've been long time friends for 4 years.
 
homeopathyguy last decade

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Information given in this forum is given by way of exchange of views only, and those views are not necessarily those of ABC Homeopathy. It is not to be treated as a medical diagnosis or prescription, and should not be used as a substitute for a consultation with a qualified homeopath or physician. It is possible that advice given here may be dangerous, and you should make your own checks that it is safe. If symptoms persist, seek professional medical attention. Bear in mind that even minor symptoms can be a sign of a more serious underlying condition, and a timely diagnosis by your doctor could save your life.