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Stronger Potency or Better Remedy? Page 29 of 44

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3-mile event--for certian can have had an effect--influence at young age--so as grow up sensing things not right--yet see no outside confirmation form others...the subjective experience of an individual is valid requardless of majority rule..the thing is to translate into somethingtha can be used tangibly--if illness is what we are addressing..each sensation that is acknowledged by an individual is valid and is existent--often what causes trouble is the comparison of others to the self--developing an unconscious frame of referance as whatis and watactual is...thus conflict....mostlike fear based--in its roots--so important (seemingly -and genetically) almost a biological imperative --to thrive in group consciousness--deviation leading to --again conflict---
 
John Stanton last decade
And as far back as I can remember, I've always compared myself as lesser, weaker, not as good as, else capable than others.

My mom one time years and years back made the comment that she thinks I need to goto to church because that's where weak people need to go. So, my point being that she's always seen me as weak and I guess I have always kinda been that way. Always the one that things happen to, always the one who gets affected more by things, no matter what it is, whether it be emotions, pain, illness, chemicals etc. So back to underlying issue of dealing with sensitivity.

Phos-Ac 200c scheduled to arrive today. Probably at home now.
 
homeopathyguy last decade
*** 'Less' capable than others is what I meant to say.
 
homeopathyguy last decade
In fact, my dad is the weak (or susceptible one shall we say) one too, and his dad was the same way, not sure how far back it goes, but just thinking about things I'm seeing a strong trend.

My grandfather (dad's side) when he died, seemed like it was all mental, like he was just ready to die, didn't feel like hanging on anymore or struggling on anymore.

So there's another issue, lack of will, lack of grit so to speak in both my dad and his dad.
 
homeopathyguy last decade
what age grand dad die? (father's father)?

take phos acid when it arrives--1 pellet 200c in 4 oz water- stir- 1 teaspoon dose.
 
John Stanton last decade
I believe he was 75 or 76. It's more than five years ago now. Many of his health problems we attributed to working in a foundry for so many years. And it did also seem like a lot of his brothers and sisters were dying, I think he had 11 or 12 brothers and sisters, and so I think that affected him too more than he let on. He wasn't one to say much or talk about feelings or anything. I think he kept pretty much inside.
 
homeopathyguy last decade
Don't know if I ever told you, but when in Indiana where they have a lot of tornadoes because of it being so flat, no mountains. My symptoms would be SO much worse during those times when it was possible something could develop. Like I could almost feel the tension in the air/atmosphere.

And I also forgot to tell you that a few days ago here in PA we had some pretty heavy winds with the rain and when the wind was strongest I felt like my symptoms, rocking/swaying were worse. As if the wind were literally blowing me around too, even though I was inside. Almost like my body matches the atmosphere or weather, whatever is going on.

When it was just my chronic pain I loved strong winds and probably still do like it blowing strongly on me, but I think when inside or sitting down/laying down inside and feel the wind hitting the side of the house really hard, that is when it makes my symptoms worse, again the feeling of being vulnerable. Is the house going to come down/fall apart, am I going to lose my protection (that line of thinking). Not totally sure that's what's going on, but possibly.
 
homeopathyguy last decade
Took the Phos-Ac 200c dose, about 10 minutes ago, haven't noticed much so far other than sensation of heat, felt something going on in my head, not sure what, then later noticed sensation of heat in the feet, and then in the legs. Was driving and was hot so I opened my window and it is cool out, so it's unusual for me to be that hot when it's cool out. Then felt warmth in the head/face. There was some tingling in the head/face before the heat in the face. Felt a little bit of a headache for a short bit, but nothing that lasted long. Still feeling hot pretty much all over body. Hasn't changed the rocking or feeling light or anything at all.
 
homeopathyguy last decade
And there is tingling in the feet as well.
 
homeopathyguy last decade
Going back to your first post on this thread, I was thinking how there is very much conflict between inside and outside in almost everything. Often times I see things wrongly, not the way they really are and then other times I visualize things as great or how they are going to be and then when they don't work out that way it's like a major let down. Like a welcome back to the 'real world,' which is a cruel, harsh, place to be.
 
homeopathyguy last decade
visualization tinged with hope for particular outcome--this is breeding ground for conflict--suppostion of what will be (not prophetic vison--more hope/wish/preference)when fcaed with the ''is' brings this feeling--this conflict--it is energy tied into inappropriae placing--this reason--as deeper inside than we are (most to some extent) a knowing of truth--of living in the now --with all the potential possibilities in application ---yet not a fear or a wondr for beyong ''now''' or a hinderance due to past experience---all religions preach this 'now' frame --cultures center around--yet that very center ing around--is a distrcation fromthe real intent--the real'now''===in a way homoeopathy is setting the time fram ecorrect--establishing a harmony within with the without.....such is experience---a good question is 'hwt ais disease? and how one is to know what is ease and what is disease? what that point a better understnading of life workings can be ventured into....disease isnt always as the experience would clain it to be--yet it is the experience that guides to changing this state..
 
John Stanton last decade
Wow, very deep. I understand what you're saying, just where to go with it all is the question.

Lots of intense electrical current sensation going through the body last night. Mostly feeling it flowing through the feet, but definitely lots of tingling in the head as well.

Last night trouble getting to sleep. Went to bed early, because I was just feeling frustrated, irritated with life and decided to go to bed. (While out driving yesterday check engine light came on, car started bucking, so possibly transmission, and warranty JUST expired. Then I get home and my DVD player acts up and doesn't want to play a dvd) Then also frustrated because I feel like I can tell when I take a remedy if it's going to do the job irregardless of what happens days after as it progresses because I can sense the shifts in my energy after I take it and I just feel like this one didn't have much action like the last one, so just got frustrated feeling like we've taken the correct remedy several times already, the one that would have corrected the problem in anyone else or brought much more resolution and that my body is just not responding normally. That the normal rules aren't applying to me. That there is something blocking the action of the correct remedies again.

I didn't get irritated enough for it to turn into rage, desire to throw things or destroy things, but I think if one more thing would have happened I would have lost it.

So, getting to sleep, I think I went to bed around 10:00 and probably only got to sleep around 12. Then woke up around 3. And then woke up around 7. Then woke up at 8. Just lots of restlessness trying to sleep. Turning on left side, turning on right side, turning on back. Just going back and fourth not able to sleep.

You know, something else I've seen happen time and time again, is that let's say all I'm supposed to do is avoid apples for one day and this doesn't have to apply to food, it can be anything, I'm just using that as an example. What happens, my mom knows nothing about me trying to avoid something or not do something, but she goes out and she'll buy me $10 worth of apples or something and then when I tell her I am trying to avoid them it starts World War III because she just spent all this money and it's going to go to waste and she's never doing anything for me again and don't say she never tried to do anything for me. It doesn't matter when or what, it's like my mom goes and does something that is totally opposite of what I've been trying to do. So I feel bad, I don't want the stuff to goto waste, I know she was trying to do something to help me, and I break the pact I made to myself to not do this or not do that. This has been going on for YEARS, time and time again. She knows everything that I'm doing in my life whether I tell her or not and she does something that's in the complete opposite of what I want or something happens where she'll block what I'm trying to do.
 
homeopathyguy last decade
Trying to identify limiting beliefs that I have, not sure what I'm going to do with them once I have them, but at least trying get definite beliefs that might be causing stuff to happen, don't know if it can actually block me from getting well, but it seems like there are too many things that happen in my life that seem to happen time and time and time again for there to not be some reason for it.

My dad always used to tell me when I was younger that life is unfair, life is hard. His father probably told him the same things.

He also used to tell me a lot that we're just 'average' and that average people have to work harder than the rest of the people just to acheive less. In other words that we have to fight and claw and struggle just to keep our heads above water.

I remember when I was really young being concerned a lot about my parents financial problems because they would fight a lot over money so I probably have some negative feelings towards that and could be the reason why situations seem to happen that require me to spend money. It's like something is always happening that I can never get ahead.

Then of course my telling my grandparents I was a bad person at age of like 3 or 4, not sure where exactly I got that idea, but I'm sure that is in there somewhere to this day.

I had a feeling the other day that the good part of me is gone and only the bad part of me is left, with the feeling light as air, that tehre is not enough of me left for the remedies to work and that if we get rid of the bad part there won't be any of me left, that I'll die, because it's the only part of me left.
 
homeopathyguy last decade
there is nothing you can 'do' when beliefs are acknowledged--even when thought to exist--may not be the depth thought-or the actual belief that is behind that thought..just observe thinkings--when inner state is stimulated so will follow suit --beliefs become irrelevant--living is all that is of concern--the now experience--just as allthese sensatins and evens that occur inyour life...as mom tuning into and presentigtings you seek o avoid--thus conflict--roll with it--if upset observe being upset--if happy observe being happy-it is the attacmnet o a ceratin path -in future perspective that gives rise to conflict--yet you need know we create this conflict on a level outside of thought--we create the conflict--all do to our inner order/disorder--representing ourselves in true state we exist in...no way avoid---evn if doped up--still finds way represent...remeber health - is inthe now--not some future place--as is disease is in the now---there is no planning to get well-process is of its own--so what is left is observation of what we ae..this doesnt examped desires or adversions--this is also is part of the path we our on--until stimlated so represent differently...
 
John Stanton last decade
I've been noticing more than I realized before that my initial reaction to things is often that of being irritated and if you think of irritated not as a mental aspect but as a physical one, it goes along with sensitivity I guess. Not sure where to go with this.
 
homeopathyguy last decade
Really can't say I've noticed anything else so far other than increased electrical current sensation, mostly feet.
 
homeopathyguy last decade
remember -no where to go with these thoughts--we leave the 'movement' to treament--under radar -so to speak...

right now i am interested in this last dose phos-acid reponse--allowing response to unfold--or cease--or whatever...then decide from this..
 
John Stanton last decade
Pain in back when sitting that I mentioned before seems better today, but will have to see after more time.
 
homeopathyguy last decade
This afternoon, starting thinking a lot again about all the things from the past, how things were, and wishing I could go back to that time, how dissatisfied I am right now, and just really depressed, wanting things to be different.
 
homeopathyguy last decade
go back to what time?what exactly you mean?
 
John Stanton last decade
Oh, just wishing I was back at the dealership working yet, there's so many people there that I miss and enjoyed working with. And when Annette and I were great friends and used to talk all the time about everything and anything. She was my best friend, now we hardly talk at all.
 
homeopathyguy last decade
Blood sugar issues seem better since the Phos-Ac 200c dose.

Sometimes feel like I'm more grounded and then other times not, so not sure yet if that's improved or not since the last dose.

Had trouble getting to sleep again last night. Thought I was tired enough to sleep, and just couldn't sleep, not quite as restless, just couldn't fall asleep for about an hour, maybe a little more. Was feeling really hungry too and got up and just ate some bread and granola. Not sure if it was hunger keeping me awake, eating did seem to help, but still didn't fall asleep right away, probably if I had eaten a lot more.

Had some interesting dreams last night.

Was at some kind of mall and remember seeing a health food store (GNC) and then don't know if it was the same place or somewhere else, but there were people who were putting this one healer's recipe of vegetables into a blender (at first I thought they were juicing them, but they decided to put them into a blender instead) and then were drinking the stuff like they had juiced it. It was squash and peppers, not sure if there were carrots and zucchini, but it was really good whatever it was and I remember somebody giving me the combination of vegetables to eat that weren't in the blender and I really liked it. It was supposed to be some combination that was very healing to the body (just like doing carrot juice or something).

Next, I met up with the brother of the owner of the dealership I worked for. He also runs a dealership in another town, and explained what happened, that I don't work for the dealership anymore and told him what happened on May 8th etc. So he takes me to this healer guy. And this guy, not sure if he's a shaman or just a wise Chinese/Korean person (in real life I am always fascinated by these people at their understanding of disease and imbalances)who understood Acupuncture meridians or something along those lines. Anyway, he has me laying on my back (first those he was dancing around me doing some kind of mantras and praying over me) then when I was on my back, he had this thing that was hot that he pressed against certain spots on my back and I remember seeing spots on my back that were labeled with names like, stomach, spleen, brain etc. And he went through and applied this hot thing to these different areas and the areas of my body that were the weakest, most imbalanced really hurt when he did that, the others didn't.

Two were really bad, and they were Stomach and Brain.

Then he decided to treat stomach first and he took some kind of essential oil and rubbed it on my back and I remember him doing some kind of energy treatment along with that with his hands, focusing energy on a certain part to help the stomach.

Then all of a sudden he stops and says to me, that he's sorry he can't do anymore to help me. He said, 'YOUR ENERGY IS WALKING, THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO.' So right away I'm freaking out, like walking meaning that I'm going to die, it's leaving my body and I'm dying. He seemed to agree that part of me was dying, but not that I was going to die. I still didn't totally understand, and I was questioning him further, was I going to die? And he didn't give me that impression, just that part of me was dying and he couldn't bring that part back.

He mumbled something about hell. And I don't know if he meant that I was trapped in hell, or the other thing that I was considering when I was trying to figure out what he meant was that there was something that was not blocking me from experiencing total hell on Earth. Like there was something that most people have that keep them from experiencing the stuff that I experience.

He also said something about my intution being the part that was leaving, the part that was gone, that I could never have it back again, or that it was the part dying and I would never be able to get it back. This was the only part of what he said that didn't make any sense to me and I didn't believe him at all.

Up until the time I woke up I remember questioning him about whether or not he meant that I was going to die. Even the business man said, 'Hey, is someone gonna die on us this time?' Again we didn't get a real answer, because this guy liked to speak in mysteries concerning this, that wisdom that people show when they answer a question but don't totally answer and leave it up to you to figure out for yourself. But he didn't seem worried at all, and the impression I got was that he didn't mean death as in dying physically on Earth he meant another kind of death.
 
homeopathyguy last decade
Also the first time he said that my energy was walking, my initial interpretation was that he was saying my energy was too chaotic to do anything with it. Like it was too scattered, too this way, that way, all over the place, not acting normally and he couldn't do anything to bring it back into balance.

Interesting dream huh???
 
homeopathyguy last decade
How much of that is all nonsense and how much actually means something I don't know. I wouldn't have the slightest idea what to do with a dream like that other than to think that maybe there was an answer in there even if it's an answer that I don't like or don't want to hear. Or unless it's the subconscious clearing fears about there being nothing that can be done for whatever is going on with me. Not sure.
 
homeopathyguy last decade
for certain dreams of interest--thing remember is --dreams -need be wise not to interpret--it is an energetic understanding that takes place--and the dream itself--or better said---the experience of the dream itself--is all that is required to ''know''--mindful interpretation is only a dweling in the past--the dreams mentined do tell the conflict and as such --your intelectual response --meshed with emotional energy attached to such thoughts--bt beyond that--we will not venture---all in all-- i liked the dreams--shows some movements--to where i dont know---we will need be patient and see..
 
John Stanton last decade
at this time--you are to consciously review -if not even write out--all peopl and interactions taken place --within time frame --from beginning at dealership--to when stopped working there--review in as much detail as possible--best way is take time when relaxing--and bring a name up --and allow mind wnder tthrough expoeriences with that person---in depth--at first it will be typical jumping here and there--but slowly --if persist will see a steady ness --as though actually there again (optimum)...when become aware -have strayed from the missiin--pull back and restart--doesnt matter where actually--just as long as falls in that period of time and those enviolved
 
John Stanton last decade

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