Stronger Potency or Better Remedy? _{Page 41 of 44}

And to be honest I don't know that I was directly connected to this thing it wasn't my intentions to do that, so don't know if I was getting the info from an intermediary source. Or if it was actually part of me and I wasn't even having to go outside myself to get the info, not sure. I definitely avoided any direct contact and I think I could sense when it was getting too strong because that's when I would stop and put down the pendulum, close off and shut off communication.

Was also thinking more about Mercury Poisioning today and had been awhile so I decided to re-read up on Merc Vivus/Solubilis.

The mentals couldn't fit me better. Hurried in speech, stammering. (you should hear me when I'm overly excited (good or bad excited) about something, sometimes I struggle to spit out what I want to say and it's not that I don't know what I want to say and it's not a stuttering, more just my mind is going faster than I can talk). Irresolution. Instability of ideas. Changes mind constantly!! Fear with desire to escape. Poor self-confidence. Loss of will power. Slow in answering questions. Bad effects from fright, leaving one in a state of great anxiety and worse at night. Moral dejection with great listlessness, discouragement. Dread of labor and sigust to life. Agitation with excessive internal torment. Apprehensions. Disposition to be angry and fly into a passion. Weary of life. Indifference to everything, does not even care to eat. PRECOCIOUS - (Always having friends 20/30 years older than me, and people used to always tell me I was very mature for my age).

Boring pain in right groin.

Pains below the breasts through to the scapula!!

Sparks before eyes.

Pale face. Band feeling about the head (ie, baseball cap sensation).

Urinates more than drinks!! That is a big one for me. I failed to mention that it doesn't even seem to matter if I don't drink as much (certainly helps some), but I still wonder how I can go so often especially if I don't drink anything all day long. Burning after urination.

Cold genitals.

Gingivitis.

THIS EVENING I was driving to the store and going into the sun and started sneezing like crazy, didn't sneeze all day long. And even when I wasn't sneezing sensation of nose tickling.

Merc also has SNEEZING IN SUNSHINE. Sinusitis.

Remember the sensation I described awhile back where I kind of burp and hiccup at the same time.

'Heartbearn, stomach sensitive to touch, hiccough and regurgitation.'

Vertigo worse lying on back, as if on a swing.


Also I was excited to find this little tidbit of info on Merc:

'An electrician, who at one time was required to work with his hands frequently in a trough filled with quicksilver, thereafter could not bear the slightest shock of electricty though before he could stand very strong ones.' (There's the electrical sensitivity.)

And I've often said that my body temperature follows the weather. If it's cold out, I'm cold, if it's hot out I'm hot. (Human Thermometer??)


The interesting thing is while I do tend to be anxious, restless, nervous, hurried etc. I also just like Merc tend to answer slowly (this would definitely be apparent in person), because I worry more about how the other person is going to react than to the information I actually give.

Something else that came to mind while reading the description of Mercury, that I think I had forgotten to tell you.

I would say back in October maybe (2005) when I was most worried about something pursuing me, and feeling like there were always marks all over my skin and wasn't sleeping and such. I had this oily substance all over my skin. It was like there was this coating all over my body, like a duck or something I felt like I was water proof and water was literally beading up on my skin and not really entering the poors. I almost felt like the fat cells in my body were dumping all kinds of fat out of the poors and coating the skin.

Well, it was just me suspecting that there was something and also thinking back to May 8th when I was messing around with trying to clear a friend of any entities and then the attack after, so at the time when I was asking questions it was just a matter of me having the fear/panic, feeling like I was going to come out of my body etc, and feeling like there was still something causing this, and thinking it might be an entity, but not sure.

I had been doing a lot of reading and researching and people who did this kind of work often found that there was a reason that the entity didn't want to leave and you had to deal with that issue so they would leave on their own as opposed to trying to force it to happen. Usually it was a wrong belief or something. So I was trying to find out on what grounds or why this entity felt that it still had a right to be hanging around or why it thought it should still be there.

As we're getting closer to tax season it's getting really overwhelming, I'm finding myself getting more and more tired everyday that goes by. Mental exhaustion is just at an all time high. Probably why I slept all day last Saturday. The more overwhelmed I feel the more tired, depressed I'm getting. There's just so much to do and my initial reaction is not to do anything because it seems so overwhelming, it's like my brain just shuts down and doesn't even want to try to think about or deal with it. In addition to being in charge of supplies, computers, setting up networks, having to set up new phone lines, processing all the returns for the 23 stores, I'm also in a class right now and have homework and studying to do and stuff and I'm just totally burned out. Plus we've been having like 3 hours meetings 3 days a week and it's just getting to be too much.

My parents want me to come visit, I'm supposed to goto my grandmas today and I frankly don't feel like going anywhere or seeing anybody. Because I have to have a certain amount of energy to interact with others and when I'm burned out like this I just don't have the energy to be around other people. It just drains me even more.

Later after I posted the last message these feelings just out of nowhere totally went away. I can't tell you how many times this happens too, that something will be an issue and I'll go and tell someone about it and then next thing I know the situation is resolved.

I don't know it's just so weird. I just feel like there's something toying with me. Stuff is so random, so changeable, and it seems like stuff happens and then I go to do something about it or tell someone about it and then it goes away and I end up looking like an idiot.

Doesn't change that overall I do feel the way I described earlier, but it's just so strange how it seems everything is so changeable and so random, no particular cause.

Eating often helps the mental symptoms too. I'm wondering if it's possibly a fluctuating blood sugar causing the mood swings, irritability, overreacting etc.

One thing I noticed with Phosphorus was that it did seem to help the feeling of low blood sugar.

Okay, got the remedy in the mail today. Took it when I got home around 5:45 or so.

First thing I noticed was a sense of sort of pressurizing, a sense of fullness and weight coming back to the legs only the lower half, a little below the knees and all the way down to the feet that whole portion, fullness in that part of the leg including the feet. Later while driving, I noticed everything seemed strange. Everything seemed to be darker, and the world seemed like a really scary place to be. In some respects I felt like I was seeing everything for the first time, not in a sense that I didn't know where I was, because intellectually I knew where I was, but still everything seemed new, different, almost as if I was a visitor from somewhere else. There was some fear, paranoia that lasted a few minutes, feeling like I was going to die, come out of my body etc.

Also during the time of fear and paranoia, there was a sense of just being very scared of being in the world. It was as if either it wasn't me or some part of me came forward that was just full of fear, and it wasn't like terror fear, it was more like (this example came to me later because at first I wasn't sure how to describe it)I was a little mouse who was spooked, or startled, scared of my environment. Eyes darting back and fourth trying to take everything in, processing everything not sure if I'm safe or going to be okay. That type of feeling. It wasn't fully fear, but it wasn't fully paranoia either. It was maybe a cross between and possibly some insecurity causing fear mixed in. I thought of Arsenicum Album when I was experiencing it, but not quite sure if that's right or not.

There was also quite a bit of the lightness of the head, sensation of the head being missing, or not there. Lots of tingling in the head and feet.

There was also some itching of the nerves in my right thigh. It was itchy mixed with a neuralgic type pain, so I know it was nerve related. Right upper thigh. And that also only lasted a couple minutes. Still some tingling there though (very very slight, almost not noticeable).

That's about all I've noticed so far.

This isn't new since the remedy, but something else that I've noticed lately and it goes along with the lightness I probably had something similar when it was just my chronic pain but now it has a different feel to it, there is a sense of something wet, luke warm running over my nerves. I only say nerves because I feel like it's inside my leg, even though it also tends to give me a sensation of my skin being wet when my clothes touch it. This doesn't happen all the time and I feel it has something to do with the muscles but I'm not sure. Almost like the muscles being tight around the nerves and when it lets up there is maybe like sweat or something released onto the nerves. Don't know how to explain it. There's also a sense of something being inflammed or swollen, again nothing new. But it almost feels like it's my veins that are swollen in my legs. I used to have this sensation all the time since my chronic pain and in fact, and I used to describe it as feeling like the sensation or awareness of my leg extended beyond the part where my physical body stops. This sensation could be incrased if I were to use cold water in the shower, I get a much greater sensation of this swelling or sensation as if my leg were energetically larger.

It was really windy out today and this afternoon when I was outside it reminded me how much I like a strong wind blowing on me.

As far as it being colder, I can't say that I've noticed anything there. Normally I'm better in cold than in heat, but nothing really outstanding noticed so far.

Feeling light tonight, along with the sensation of everything moving, a mixture of all sorts, bobbing, swaying, rocking, floating, the whole works.

Also more fear of death tonight than usual, mostly though because I feel like everything is going to stop, particularly my brain. Lightness in head with the feeling that my brain is going to stop or shut off or something, and that's going to be the end. Worried every minute that it's my last.

Along with that is an increase in the high pitch frequency in my ears/head.

About 2:30 and tired, but at the same time still afraid to goto sleep because afraid that my brain is going to stop, sensation as if the brain would stop or everything in my head would stop or had to some degree. Afraid I'm going to die.

Got to sleep around 4:30. Prior to that, also had some really sharp spikes of pain through my chest front to back or the middle of the sternum. Happened twice. And was SUPER SUPER painful. Haven't had anything like that before ever.

Got about three hours of sleep last night. Did have a dream but don't remember any of the details.

Also was sort of feeling like I was real close to coming out of my body that I need more sleep.

For maybe a week now, off and on, only happened like maybe two three times at most, I've had the sensation where I feel as if I'm (my body) going to spin around in a circle and it seems consistently counterclockwise. People with vertigo sometimes say they feel like the world is spinning, but for me it feels like I'm going to spin, not the world. It never happens it just feels almost like I'm going to. Like I'm not going to be able to keep my position steady and I'm going to start spinning around really fast.

Also happened in the shower this morning when standing up and normally it's worse when sitting.

Now this morning I'm having a throbbing/pulsating headache in the temples on both sides. The pain comes in waves or surges. Somewhat moving around to the sides of the forehead. And that pain is more of a constant aching/pressure type pain.

Itching again of the right ear, then a sensation of fullness in same ear. Some pain (very minor though), didn't last long.

Sharp pain in the right eye, again very sudden, didn't last long. Like a quick stab, but a sharp pain. The first time it happened, I felt like I was going to cry, or eyes at least were going to water. Second time same thing only I got a burning in my nose, fullness in nose with burning and then eyes started watering (mostly right).

Also pain under left breast (under rib cage, closer to sternum) continues to be very sharp and very very painful, I can hardly stand to even touch the spot it hurts that bad (but it's a very localized spot, I have to touch exactly the right spot for it to be that painful to touch). Also, if I'm sitting, hunching over or leaning over it is worse.

Today, I had cereal at breakfast before I ran off to work and I didn't drink anything until later in the afternoon around 1:30. I went to the bathroom 5 times before 12:30 and it's just so hard to believe I'm going that much when I didn't drink all that much. I then later had about 8 oz of water and I went to the bathroom 3 times within 2 hours. Talk about excessive. Nothing new, this is actually how bad it was either just before my chronic pain started or when it started. I always had frequent urination like this, but it did definitely get worse around the time my chronic pain started. Almost as if my body is not utilizing the water or something and it's just going right through me. Not like i'm drinking excessive amounts or anything.

Also started having some sharp pains in the right kidney area, and had one that caused a sort of referred pain in the stomach with nausea.

Hi Jacob,

Thanks for the input. I had taken Sulphur prior to Phos-Ac 30c and then 200c and then I took Lachesis 3LM. I seemed to get a decent response from Lachesis as far as the heaviness of the body returning more often than before. Also a lot of diarrhea and kidney pains though which I'm not sure it was necessarily the Lachesis, I think maybe just something going around, because everybody was sick.

I was thinking Arsenicum myself the other day after the reaction to Cenchris because of the type of fear/insecurity/paranoid type feelings I experienced from it.

I am a bit concerned about the pains in the kidneys. And if they started up again on the Cenchris, maybe it was the Lachesis that brought that out.

The reason we went to Phos-ac 200c after 30c was because I had noticed a very good initial response from the Phos-ac 30c. Within seconds of taking the remedy (30c) I had increased fullness returning to my feet so I felt more grounded, not that I was kind of floating across the floor or not quite touching the ground (difficult to describe), and there was increased heaviness of the body too, which I often feel as light as air (occured after a severe fright/shock). But it didn't last long. It started at the feet though and worked up the body. The Lachesis was more of a whole body at once feeling of return of normal weight, but then it would fluctuate back and fourth between lightness and heaviness, like my body was REALLY trying hard to maintain the normal heavy feeling, but it couldn't do it. But it was the first time I've ever had the sensation return/come back as often as it did.