Platinum Metallicum _{Page 11 of 14}

I think I need a remedy that gets accused wrongly. But I guess it is all my own doing again. like always


I wonder why Kaylove and the like can read on upon remedies as much as they like but me is forbidden of it... a strange pattern that always seems to be present in my life.

I havent read upon remedies much at all. Not about arg-nit, not about anarcadium, not about nat mur, not about lycopodium or aurum.. not of anyones I mentioned in my posts. Only used past knowledge and when I describe my problem it is never on purpose to be a remedy. It is because I think that symptom I read is how to describe my problem. I dont know how I can be wronged for this but ok. Argentum metallicum doesnt count I would say as arg-nit is what I thought I need if anything, but if you want to count that as reading upon remedies than it is fine.



I do not consider myself a bad person. I read months ago, arg-nit impulsively does something and than feels guilty later and cannot keep this secret inside him and tells everyone about it then. WHich I think is how I am like. I knew it will be very bad if I tell the secret but I could not keep it in me.

I am not going to play the victim. Am just trying to understand why I always get tightly controlled and forbidden of things while others arent as there must be a reason for this inside me.


Thanks for leaving me. BYE Good luck to you too.

A bit dissapointed but I could have expected it. No worries. I got to be quiet and let myself be tightly controlled otherwise people just leave! Seems ridicoulus. hmm I got to explore this delusion of mine to come to my remedy as I am sure I am not seen as someone who is tightly controlled by you but this is my experience of working with homeopaths.

hmm after posting this I am feeling already sorry and guilty... why can noone help me. I presented my delusion. And no I have not read upon any remedy. I dont do that much anymore only rarely. I just know carcinosim has some similarity out of my head maybe but it would not fit the whole picture i believe

David come back... i get angry when I get a remedy prescribed that isnt around the remedies I believe I should get. I dont know why. But I liked the scorpio as it is something I would like to be as was the lachesis... a powerful snake I thought!

I dont really know what I have done wrong to deserve such a last reply from you? what was so bad in my last posts?

I havent taken the arg-nit. I just thought about it after seeing you are done with me, but I did not take it as I am not certain if it will cure me and do not want to waste another 2 weeks
[message edited by vitamin.X on Mon, 26 Sep 2011 05:53:13 BST]

I was outside before and when I came back to my neighbourhood from a narrow walkway again if I kept looking ahead I would tense up, freeze, not able to move so I have to look down or away at my phone etc.
Also when I walked outside once on the other side of the street was someone walking along it with his dog so my dog pulled and I had this freezing again as always that it is hard to just control my dog as I don’t move much, it is restricted.

Also when someone tightly controls me I feel like I cannot breathe that it is too much. This breathing difficulty comes up also when I panic often.
I got claustrophobia also when the exit is blocked, not visible

Outside I also feel “funny” when I am in a better mood and have to control my uncontrollable laughter that is coming up…. For example I might be reading something on my own in the shadow and someone I see will walk past me and then I know he will be looking at me and see me there standing reading and something makes me laugh than. Then when I pull my dog back to make room for the person I have to laugh again. I don’t know why. And then of course I think to myself I need to stop and control it but this just brings the laughter up even more.


Have I given enough clues for a remedy?

MORE CLUES;


Restricted movement, and controlling my eyes, tensions, making myself un-tense are issues that come up outside.

Walking past people uncomfortable

When greeted it depends from which angle I am greeted. If I walk uphill and someone greets me from the right It is very uncomfortable to move to the right, look at him and greet him, so I stay quiet and look down. If greeted from straight up it is easier.


I do not like going inside buildings like shops, restaurants. Without my sunglasses in there I would start staring and get so anxious. It is worse when the space inside is big. Like big shops. Small ones are better as there are many corners to hide around, and you aren’t so visible. But it is very anxiety provoking and I don’t know why. Being in a big shop


Talking to people outside is an issue often as I know I will get red and embarrass myself. It just happens. And I feel uncomfortable. Don’t think I will be able to talk. Say something interesting. I just try to get away from it and hope the conversation will be over soon.

Hold on. I expressed my problem as most accurate as I could. When I wrote my post after a sentence it is automatic the thought came that I maybe described anarcadium now, after another sentence that I described maybe arg-nit.

I dont know how much better can I do it? I do avoid shopping malls, shops, even shadows when I dont wear sunglasses as my anxiety gets up. I can only somehow look at people when the sun is shining. When it is cloudy the issue is intensified.


I believe I am describing a mix of remedies. Not just one


And I also felt good to be free again, free from the restriction, but now I am afraid for my future, and uncertain about what to do if arg-nit or anarcadium do not work? and i doubt they will as it does not fit the whole picture of mine, so does not aurum or platina


Ok if you do not wish to help me. Which remedy from the last 2 posts do I sound like more. Anarcadium or arg-nit? or some entirely different remedy?

Strange how I am egoistic but the moment the relatinship is on the line I get afraid

what would someone take for that as it is most bothersome issue when i walk around outside?


Restricted movement, and controlling my eyes, tensions, making myself un-tense are issues that come up outside.

Walking past people uncomfortable

When greeted it depends from which angle I am greeted. If I walk uphill and someone greets me from the right It is very uncomfortable to move to the right, look at him and greet him, so I stay quiet and look down. If greeted from straight up it is easier.


I do not like going inside buildings like shops, restaurants. Without my sunglasses in there I would start staring and get so anxious. It is worse when the space inside is big. Like big shops. Small ones are better as there are many corners to hide around, and you aren’t so visible. But it is very anxiety provoking and I don’t know why. Being in a big shop


*** and uncontrollable laughter
[message edited by vitamin.X on Mon, 26 Sep 2011 06:43:33 BST]

No I dont want to take a remedy on my own. It is not what i wanted and makes me feel bad now. I do not think i am the better homeopath, it is not about that at all.
[message edited by vitamin.X on Mon, 26 Sep 2011 06:48:54 BST]

No I am open to everything. so what is the truth about me, I want to hear it?

I know, exactly, there is no one remedy i see that could fit my whole picture. and taking a remedy that just partially fits does not sound to good to me or desirable


No need to fight. I dont want to take a remedy on my own because i would feel bad and guilty


I cannot do it than i shall say. I dont want too do it. It would be a bad mans move

i shall be quiet than and follow instructions but the issue of looking like an idiot who is unable to assert himself comes up. or letting himself to be tightly controlled like a pushover

Ok I can see something new now. That my issue is the ego struggle so a remedy that has that issue is what I need and will fix everything than. SO since you said I am a proud type I guess this is why platina helped so much. And so this ego problem needs to be addressed not just some random symptoms. But I still don’t understand why my anxiety is so much worse in closed spaces than outside in the open. Maybe this is just a natural thing than for anyone who has an anxiety disorder.


But I remember a case I read once in sholtens book about arg nit. That there was once a burglary and wife husband came home and the husband was to afraid to go inside but his wife did go inside and confronted the burglars. So from than on the husband had issues because he always said if something like this would happen he would be the one who would go inside and confront the burglars. So he wasn’t what he thought he was. And he couldn’t work anymore. So arg-nit seems to be able to have an ego-struggle too.


So if that ever happened to me I don’t know what I would do. Sure I would feel bad if I would not go in. It would not be an option to stay outside but going in would not be one either as I am not that tall and rather thin, what could I do and I guess I would be afraid a lot too!

I have no idea what to do.


I am surprised you said I am a proud type. I think I am not proud enough. In a homeopathic relationship my issue is of not being assertive, a pushover, letting myself be controlled to tightly on the other hand (polarity) there is how could I let myself be controlled by someone, how could I have someone above me and tell me what to do? I cannot.

And on another side there is great disappointment, anger, unjust, betrayal if the relationship stops, what will I do now? I am completely lost as to how I am going to get cured? I need you. But on the other hand there is freedom from the restriction gone away and able to do whatever I want again.

I guess you want a break from the 'difficult' me.. ok than

i will wait what the scorpio will do
[message edited by vitamin.X on Mon, 26 Sep 2011 08:32:21 BST]

I had great trouble holding of arg-n. But havent taken it yet after convincing myself needing to wait to see what the scorpio will do.

I have been thinking over a lot and the remedy carcinosim seems like a good thing too. As I cannot say no to people face to face. I never ask anything of my father. To get of the internet or whatever. Never!

Ah it is difficult. Trying to decide on what the problem is, whether my people pleasing/unability to say no and rejections, just anxiety & panic - fear of failure, emotional vulnerability or the ego struggle!

Carcinosim probably has difficulty saying no to everyone whilst I have mostly to strangers and my father.

How would one fit all those themes into one remedy. Probably impossible as noone comes to mind.

But I do know my BDD gets away when my ego struggle is not an issue and platina confirmed this too by putting it in a cured state.

I probably should go back to platina if the scorpio doesnt do anything and this time stay with it for as long as I get results.

My bdd was really bad in the morning, certainly back, but throughout the day it got better again. Now it is at a level where I don’t see myself as beautiful looking, I see the faults,but no real reaction again. It does not make me obsessive or want to change it. I still believe this is the platina stability. Although it has gotten unstable by being under the attack of the scorpio. Wonder if it will get back to a level of stability after the aggravation passes by.

I somehow have difficulty believing I could really be platina. But the improvements and sense of security in my stomach I am assuming must mean it although I dont know. And I felt a sting in my head every now and than on the last days on the platina.

if I take any remedy it is arg-n, than if it does not act back to platina and see from there how far it will take me. That is if the scorpio wont do anything. I hope that would be ok. AM not going to play with other remedies as beside the arg-nit noone really fits me that well that I would want to really take it and waste 2 weeks on it.

Well I could of take the lycopodium after arg-nit as the response I get when I think of it is one of denial, trying to hide and feeling exposed. I bet I must be it. It is like my subconscious knows it and I get the 'I am exposed' feeling.
[message edited by vitamin.X on Mon, 26 Sep 2011 14:15:32 BST]

There is something I somewhat like about the scorpio. I mentioned I felt the emotional intensity on the days of aggravation but with it came the BDD. I feel like I feel more, feel more things. I can look at the TV and feel like wanting to watch it - good feelings about watching TV, not the bad disconnected ones as before. But the BDD is somewhat back. Bad feelings in my stomach I guess. When I think of looking at myself it comes up so I know in advance I will feel bad and dont even want to go and look. And I worry about chipping/loosing my teeth which I dont like at all. This compulsive checking whether my teeth have gone by just biting into the moutguard I wear at night, or into an apple.

I dreamed tonight that I was with people in a room or building it was like a challenge who will be first outside I belive. THan when I was close to getting out I saw a destroyed room as if a bomb exploded and some suicide bombers walking around but they didnt see me. And the feeling was I am not as courageous as I thought, I dont care about the ego thing I just want to get out to safety. And away from the danger. Than I got out of the building and on the left I saw osama bin laden walking away from the building. He didnt see me as he was walking away from the house. So I went to the opposite direction and around the corner of the house to hide. And I saw he stopped at one point and put his machine gun out and everyone who will get out of the building is now in his line of fire and probably will be killed. So I thought about returning into the building and warning everyone but I didnt dare to go inside at the front where bin laden would definately shoot me. SO i had my ego thoghts that I am not great for not going in at the front. So I went at the back of the building and go through the obstacles again in hope I can warn people to not go out


There were lots of dreams actually and one was of war and me seeing rockets lunch and explode

Another one was of being on a subway and a child and girl where like infected zombies and had to be shot but noone really wanted to as they were friends but it had to be done since they were infected and there was some unpleasantness


Lots of brutal dreams. Definately the scorpio I would say. They arent my nature really.

I am a worrier... I could never prescribe a remedy like aurum to someone and after reading about their reactions, that everything seems hopeless etc I would be soooooo worried and panicky that something might happen, that they will never feel ok again.

I panic when I see my dog have the tired look from a remedy and pet her and take her out for walks at night as I am scared that something might happen. In the morning when I wake up I go and look for her and fear I might see her in a really bad state but than when I see her looking ok I am relieved.


It is true a bit. I am sympathetic and impulsive if that is the right word? I cannot not give a remedy and try to help even though I know I will get to feel panicky again and worry.
Same thing when I take remedies, I tell myself I should take just 1 teaspoon this time based on last aggravations but than I take 2 teaspoons again and moments later feel panic.

Why do I get red in my face and feel exposed & embarassed when I think I might be lycopodium. I am 90% sure this must mean somewhere deep down I am lycopodium. I cannot explain the aversion and reaction otherwise.


And could I tell my family I gave my dog homeopathic remedies if she would all of a sudden panic or be in a really bad state. This question came up yesterday and the first thought was No! because I will get critizised and made to feel bad. I must protect myself kind of. But than I would feel the need to say it as always I believe as I could not live with keeping this secret. It would have to come out.
[message edited by vitamin.X on Tue, 27 Sep 2011 00:56:33 BST]

I believe nothing more will happen from the scorpio. I am not looking forward to the days for some weeks now. Not wanting to really go out, all is a bit depressing. It seems repetive. Like every day I wake up, do the same thing, nothing to look forward too, no change in sight. going out isnt fun since I still have social anxiety. BDD is somewhat back, no good feelings anymore.


Is lycopodium also haughty? Are they the type that would be just haughty on the inside and not openly like me?

Be ok around my mother and brothers but be sort of a pleaser around their father? Never ask him for anything, feel kind of sad in his presence. Feel anxiety in his presence and not able to critizise or confront him about anything unless attacked/critizised by him first?

Unable to say no to strangers or father? Once my mother smoked marijuana I found out but I could not even confront her about it to tell her that I dont like it and I was depressed for 2 days. And my previous homeopath gave me the task of the day to confront my mother about it and I thought she was nuts, I could never do such thing.

That would make me feel horrible and alone I guess? My mother a drug user I just confronted? I would feel on my own, no connection anymore I guess. It would be impossible, emotionaly that would be really difficult also and seeing her reaction to me knowing it would be to much for me to bear. I am so weak in this regards. About people, the pleasing, could not to say no, unability to accept rejections, cannot hurt people, ah I would be happy if all this would go
[message edited by vitamin.X on Tue, 27 Sep 2011 01:04:37 BST]

At home also my mother often can tell me lots of times to clean the dishes and I wont do it in the moment and procrastinate. But when my father is at home I will do it without him saying anything. Even though I know he would feel uncomfortable saying it to me in a way. As he has difficulty accepting NO so he would not even say I think often.

But I do it and hope it will make him happy for some reason, a pleasing I am assuming? I could not take it if he would tell me to clean the dishes because it would feel like a critizisim that I dont do anything etc. Or that I havent done something yet I should have done by now. As if I am the bad guy and I would get angry and anxious at the same time and feel the need to protect myself, not just quietly go and clean the dishes. Great offence


I wished one day there will be no difference between how I am around my mother and father, how I am around older people and people of my age. That I am everywhere the same, can say to everyone no and not fear what will happen if I do that, and not feel uncomfortable saying No.

Just be my own man, but I am rather a boy I would say
[message edited by vitamin.X on Tue, 27 Sep 2011 01:16:44 BST]

But first my anxiety. If I had a doctors appointment or whatever out of the blue in a few days I would feel such horrible panic. Than later I would calm down and not feel anything until the day arrives where I got the doctors appointment and feel so anxious.

So I panic when I get told I need to go, or do something unexpectedly when I am not prepared for it. And when I calm down I think of ways how I am going to act, what I am going to do, how to deal with it. I need to be prepared and have a mental plan otherwise complete panic and uncertainty.

It would be horrible, I would be so anxious and feel like I could not talk, not look at the doctor, not answer his questions... those fears come up because I fear my anxiety panic will be so strong that I will not be able to talk, look at him


This is horrible panic. Imagine you would go to a doctor and fear that you will not be able to look at anyone, not talk but a lot of Gibberish coming out of your mouth, unclear speech, embarrassment would follow and even greater panic.

I cannot do such things. Going to a university and having to deal daily with such things I am not going to go through ever again until I am cured

For the past 5 years I had to go to doctors appointments only for my visa's. It was something I had to do and it was horrible. Such anxiety and panic. I would go for runs, swimming in the mornings, just to prepare myself and get into the best state possible.
[message edited by vitamin.X on Tue, 27 Sep 2011 01:28:01 BST]