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Platinum Metallicum Page 7 of 14
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Yea but today I have been pretty close to the recommended dosage.
I am sorry for all this. I will get there with time
I am sorry for all this. I will get there with time
vitamin.X last decade
With platina I took 3 drops, 8 hits and 2 tea spoons the first time and it was very good experience. although maybe the mild orgasm through whole body proving?
Next time I took 3 drops 8 hits and just 1 teaspoon and I did not feel the feeling of security in my stomach as much
Next time I took 3 drops 8 hits and just 1 teaspoon and I did not feel the feeling of security in my stomach as much
vitamin.X last decade
So it is of vital importance that I follow dosing instructions to the smallest detail otherwise provings can occur? If so I hope my mind will get it than, to follow them as advised!
[message edited by vitamin.X on Thu, 22 Sep 2011 01:07:37 BST]
[message edited by vitamin.X on Thu, 22 Sep 2011 01:07:37 BST]
vitamin.X last decade
I am not a bad person I would say. Many uncharacteristic things of me are appearing. Like taking remedies behind your back. But I could not keep it secret and had to tell everyone to feel better. And told myself to not ever repeat this again. But look what happened, I did it again. I cannot explain it as I am not a bad person. Or the thing I do at times sometimes at night but for gods sake not anymore, which I said in the email yesterday. I cannot explain, very uncharacteristic of me but I dont have much control over me. What ever I feel like, I do. Feelings dictate me. There was a good post on this forum, someone posted some lectures about kent where he said something like a man cannot call himself a man unless he can control his urges, desires or something like that so that sticked and made me really want to stop and try to control myself. Gave me motivation
So truth is that I dont learn from my mistakes and repeat them over and over
So truth is that I dont learn from my mistakes and repeat them over and over
vitamin.X last decade
Platina created in you a feeling of ego, being higher than others - I don't believe it was a cure. If it was, you would not be feeling the way you do now, and would not have so many issues that have been unaffected by it. Any remedy that creates a high ego effect you enjoy, because it fulfills your condition for feeling ok (which is a disease state, health means unconditional ok-ness).
By making the dose so strong, you are overwhelming your vital energy and creating a proving - the proving just happens to be something you believe is healthy (high ego, feeling superior, not feeling your feelings, haughty, powerful etc).
Kent was only partly right. I believe he had issues himself about control. A healthy man does not worry about the need to control, it is a non-issue for him. He does the right thing for the situation, without being conflicted about it.
That is what we all need to achieve, and the simillimum takes us there.
By making the dose so strong, you are overwhelming your vital energy and creating a proving - the proving just happens to be something you believe is healthy (high ego, feeling superior, not feeling your feelings, haughty, powerful etc).
Kent was only partly right. I believe he had issues himself about control. A healthy man does not worry about the need to control, it is a non-issue for him. He does the right thing for the situation, without being conflicted about it.
That is what we all need to achieve, and the simillimum takes us there.
♡ brisbanehomoeopath last decade
I have done a bit of thinking and will write down my ideas soon, when I will find the time to do so . believe the Scorpio remedy unfortunately is not an accurate prescription this time and very likely been affected by the platina. I mean I was looking up to the sky when I talked about big and talked about god etc. You know the day I got on this forum I talked about how much I desire company. I believ it was indeed on purpose that the courier was unusually late as something did not want me to take the 1M.
I will write my post soon. Don't say anything yet. No need to reply.
I will write my post soon. Don't say anything yet. No need to reply.
vitamin.X last decade
Ok here goes:
I was in a good mood and ready to write something good with joy but am not feeling that great at the moment. Had to do something for my father and again talking was difficult. I believe from the aggravation, no energy to speak. My chest my throat feel heavy as if paralyzed and my voice sounds shaky.
I have been taken pictures of myself from different angles again before being called by my father. And cannot understand how from some angles my nose looks ok but from others so big, or taken from far away my unbalanced facial features are seen a lot more, more noticeable. But no reaction I could not get stressed or feel like it is the end of the world and not wanting to change this NOW, do something about it NOW as usual.
So here goes what I wanted to say:
I believe I would make a good lawyer. Defending someone is something I always liked to do and it could be my true calling? At home I also sometimes despite my anxiety go and defend my brothers. When I am in a good state of mind I doubt anyone can win an argument against me or rather that I could lose. My last homeopath also said that I am good with writing and presenting convincing cases. (Back than I insisted I am lycopodium). Although I doubt I am good at writing. I have the potential sure, but at the moment it is not good anymore because of my bad state of mind.
The other thing are my dreams: what my genuine dreams are and not provings of remedies is dreams about snakes, elevators, being stuck in underground tunnels, elevators, car, or chased by someone, something. And dreams of sexual nature also at times. And dreams of social situations
Spear fights, war, murder, sharks are dreams that were not usual to me at all.
So in the morning I checked on the abc site here the symptom of sighing frequently and up came respiration:sighing and heart palpitations better from sighing which is also true for me and argentum metallicum came up. So I got now only the book soul of remedies. And saw some interesting things about it again.
- One of the most important symptoms is aggravation from using voice, aggravation from speaking, singing, mental exertion.
I feel this to be very true for me, the moment I had to go to my father and speak bam my chest feels so heavy, I could barely get the energy to speak, I speak so quietly and my aggravation from the scorpio remedy has aggravated a lot more. That I am here in my room now and often standing up and wanting to move, walk quickly or am thinking about going out for a walk. As sitting still is very hard. And thoughts are coming up that the aggravation might get stronger and stronger and I fear I am gona die at times when the frequent anxiety attacks from the worrying thoughts comes. But I try to calm myself rationally and think to myself that this is all ridiculous. I also for a moment feared that there might have been a 10M in the scorpio remedy and this made me so panicky that I had to stand up and move. I am having trouble breathing and think I will need to stop writing this. As thinking and writing just aggravates me. Out of nowhere I am having strong aggravation whereas a minute ago before starting to write this I was still ok, only had difficulty in speaking. So I found in the book:
- He can argue and fight very strongly and hard, not only for himself but also for others
- He sees himself as a weak person internally who will be attacked and finished unless he defends himself strongly, often intellectually.
- With medorrhinum it shares the feeling of inner weakness, which he is trying to cover up with egotism. Both have anticipatory anxiety
- Both palladium and argentum metallicum have showiness and longing for good opinions of others.
- It shares with lachesis its emphasis on speech and communication and its egotism.
My first dream about a remedy a few months ago was about me being on the side of the street looking at a big bulldozer and getting drawn to it by the hypnotizing big wheels spinning. I had to use great control to not jump in front of the bulldozer and feared I will jump.
A few days ago as I mentioned I dreamed of walking on the side of the road than falling into a ditch. A Big hole in the ground. I tried to climb out of it but was unable to and in the end I was entangled in the grass and could not get out and said I will never reach my destination being in a hole, unable to get out?
I strongly believe that either arg met or arg nit should be considered for me. With arg nit I share too many symptoms to even list. I could write one whole page of them down. Being lively, desire company, panicky, claustrophobic, hate heat, melted cheese lover lasagne my favourite dish, sick feeling from sweets, panicky, issues with closed spaces. Fear of heights, bridges, in plane, etc. Too many to list really. I havent even read about arg nit in a while and dont even want to as I dont want to on purpose manipulate something. I only read about arg met.
I cannot write anymore and need to get out lol how fitting, but I really need to get for a walk as I am not in a state to write from the restlessness and panic of fearing it all getting to much for me the aggravation of the scorpio remedy.
Please dont be offended. Yesterday night how I responded to considering meeting a girl made it clear after thinking about it today, starting a few hours ago the thinking process and realizing I might have proven platina, so it is not the remedy I need. Yesterday I was even haughty but as can be seen by above posts I always feel like needing to light the mood and say a joke or be friendly again if I am unfriendly at first. I believe that the choice is between arg nit or arg met. Who knows how many remedies I proved if this can happen so quick and so under the radar. I thought a proving is something you have never experienced before. But now I see it is not exactly like that.
You might be saying again it is your job to decide what remedy I need but I think it depends on me whether I will get cured or not. That only I can do this for myself. The chances of someone finding a remedy for me over the internet are too slim. It might be just my view as I see most things as a difficult task and it could go back to the arg nit symptom they have about thinking they alone can only get out or whatever it was I cannot remember it.
I will await what you have to say, but now I really need to get out. How many remedies have desire for company? If I remember right it is arg-nit, arsenic, phosphorus, lyc. How many have claustrophobia and anxiety in closed spaces? All points to arg- nit arg met. And I am tubercular miasm I believe. And a planner when I think of doing something that causes me great anxiety as can be seen from post about wanting to meet a girl yesterday night?
You are correct in calling my cases corrupted often but you have to keep a clear mind and not make the mistake of dismissing every case I present. Once it will be the correct one. All other cases were weak but this one is not weak at all. Lots of valid resemblances to my issues
I was in a good mood and ready to write something good with joy but am not feeling that great at the moment. Had to do something for my father and again talking was difficult. I believe from the aggravation, no energy to speak. My chest my throat feel heavy as if paralyzed and my voice sounds shaky.
I have been taken pictures of myself from different angles again before being called by my father. And cannot understand how from some angles my nose looks ok but from others so big, or taken from far away my unbalanced facial features are seen a lot more, more noticeable. But no reaction I could not get stressed or feel like it is the end of the world and not wanting to change this NOW, do something about it NOW as usual.
So here goes what I wanted to say:
I believe I would make a good lawyer. Defending someone is something I always liked to do and it could be my true calling? At home I also sometimes despite my anxiety go and defend my brothers. When I am in a good state of mind I doubt anyone can win an argument against me or rather that I could lose. My last homeopath also said that I am good with writing and presenting convincing cases. (Back than I insisted I am lycopodium). Although I doubt I am good at writing. I have the potential sure, but at the moment it is not good anymore because of my bad state of mind.
The other thing are my dreams: what my genuine dreams are and not provings of remedies is dreams about snakes, elevators, being stuck in underground tunnels, elevators, car, or chased by someone, something. And dreams of sexual nature also at times. And dreams of social situations
Spear fights, war, murder, sharks are dreams that were not usual to me at all.
So in the morning I checked on the abc site here the symptom of sighing frequently and up came respiration:sighing and heart palpitations better from sighing which is also true for me and argentum metallicum came up. So I got now only the book soul of remedies. And saw some interesting things about it again.
- One of the most important symptoms is aggravation from using voice, aggravation from speaking, singing, mental exertion.
I feel this to be very true for me, the moment I had to go to my father and speak bam my chest feels so heavy, I could barely get the energy to speak, I speak so quietly and my aggravation from the scorpio remedy has aggravated a lot more. That I am here in my room now and often standing up and wanting to move, walk quickly or am thinking about going out for a walk. As sitting still is very hard. And thoughts are coming up that the aggravation might get stronger and stronger and I fear I am gona die at times when the frequent anxiety attacks from the worrying thoughts comes. But I try to calm myself rationally and think to myself that this is all ridiculous. I also for a moment feared that there might have been a 10M in the scorpio remedy and this made me so panicky that I had to stand up and move. I am having trouble breathing and think I will need to stop writing this. As thinking and writing just aggravates me. Out of nowhere I am having strong aggravation whereas a minute ago before starting to write this I was still ok, only had difficulty in speaking. So I found in the book:
- He can argue and fight very strongly and hard, not only for himself but also for others
- He sees himself as a weak person internally who will be attacked and finished unless he defends himself strongly, often intellectually.
- With medorrhinum it shares the feeling of inner weakness, which he is trying to cover up with egotism. Both have anticipatory anxiety
- Both palladium and argentum metallicum have showiness and longing for good opinions of others.
- It shares with lachesis its emphasis on speech and communication and its egotism.
My first dream about a remedy a few months ago was about me being on the side of the street looking at a big bulldozer and getting drawn to it by the hypnotizing big wheels spinning. I had to use great control to not jump in front of the bulldozer and feared I will jump.
A few days ago as I mentioned I dreamed of walking on the side of the road than falling into a ditch. A Big hole in the ground. I tried to climb out of it but was unable to and in the end I was entangled in the grass and could not get out and said I will never reach my destination being in a hole, unable to get out?
I strongly believe that either arg met or arg nit should be considered for me. With arg nit I share too many symptoms to even list. I could write one whole page of them down. Being lively, desire company, panicky, claustrophobic, hate heat, melted cheese lover lasagne my favourite dish, sick feeling from sweets, panicky, issues with closed spaces. Fear of heights, bridges, in plane, etc. Too many to list really. I havent even read about arg nit in a while and dont even want to as I dont want to on purpose manipulate something. I only read about arg met.
I cannot write anymore and need to get out lol how fitting, but I really need to get for a walk as I am not in a state to write from the restlessness and panic of fearing it all getting to much for me the aggravation of the scorpio remedy.
Please dont be offended. Yesterday night how I responded to considering meeting a girl made it clear after thinking about it today, starting a few hours ago the thinking process and realizing I might have proven platina, so it is not the remedy I need. Yesterday I was even haughty but as can be seen by above posts I always feel like needing to light the mood and say a joke or be friendly again if I am unfriendly at first. I believe that the choice is between arg nit or arg met. Who knows how many remedies I proved if this can happen so quick and so under the radar. I thought a proving is something you have never experienced before. But now I see it is not exactly like that.
You might be saying again it is your job to decide what remedy I need but I think it depends on me whether I will get cured or not. That only I can do this for myself. The chances of someone finding a remedy for me over the internet are too slim. It might be just my view as I see most things as a difficult task and it could go back to the arg nit symptom they have about thinking they alone can only get out or whatever it was I cannot remember it.
I will await what you have to say, but now I really need to get out. How many remedies have desire for company? If I remember right it is arg-nit, arsenic, phosphorus, lyc. How many have claustrophobia and anxiety in closed spaces? All points to arg- nit arg met. And I am tubercular miasm I believe. And a planner when I think of doing something that causes me great anxiety as can be seen from post about wanting to meet a girl yesterday night?
You are correct in calling my cases corrupted often but you have to keep a clear mind and not make the mistake of dismissing every case I present. Once it will be the correct one. All other cases were weak but this one is not weak at all. Lots of valid resemblances to my issues
vitamin.X last decade
I am feeling strong panic inside my house or out on the street, except on an open field it is ok. I am going right back out now to it, after just coming home, because the panic of my mother coming home and me staying with her in the same room is to great. I hope this will calm down. I feel just like I did when I smoked marijuana. Unable to be near towns, buildings, people
arg nit is confirmed I will write down why when I calm down
arg nit is confirmed I will write down why when I calm down
vitamin.X last decade
You are not a mineral. You do seem obsessed with the minerals, but the themes of your case are clearly covered by the animal kingdom.
What you are good at does not lead to a remedy. It is what you are bad at that does. I am not going to cure your positive traits, so they do not matter when trying to find a remedy. A remedy matches a disease - do you think being good at being a lawyer is a disease that we need to cure in you? Shall we rob you of your true calling with a remedy?
Don't mix up pop pyschology and astrology with true homoeopathic knowledge. As Hahnemann said, you must know what is to be cured in disease, to be a true practitioner of the medical arts.
All symptoms that occur to you are part of your state. When you proving a remedy, you prove the parts that are most like you, that you are most sensitive to. When there is a common theme of reactions, regardless of what remedy has done it, it helps to form the totality for that patient.
Proving a remedy is just like having a car accident. It is an external threat to the balance in your vital energy, which creates a response. Your vital energy, being already sick and disordered, produces a response that is in keeping with that disorder. So your remedy can still be seen, even when mixed with the proving symptoms of another remedy.
In a healthy person this is not true, they display only the proving symptoms, in a pure form.
When we do provings, the provers catalogue all their symptoms for weeks or months before taking the remedy, so that their natural symptoms can be screened out. This is because their natural symptoms will be stimulated during a proving as well. It takes alot of time and effort to do this, but it has to be done so that we don't get invidiual's symptoms mixed up with those unique to the medicine.
Spears are not a symptom of Platina, so it is your symptom. It is also very peculiar and fits with the general symptoms of wanting to kill or do violence to others that you display.
Sighing frequently is not peculiar, and is not relevent in terms of the rest of your case. It is very low in the hierarchy of symptoms when compared to everything else you say and do. Focussing on that kind of symptom will lead you nowhere.
Argentum feels that they most perform at a very high level. They must push themselves intellectually, and what they usually do is push themselves beyond what they can do and their mind becomes exhausted.
Anything to do with performing aggravates them, because it is the pinnacle of the Silver group, Row 5 in the periodic table. Performance, expression, art, new ideas, learning, science, religion, spirituality, acting, speaking, singing etc. Argentum lies in column 11, where there is a struggle to hold on to those things - Argentum constantly feels they might lose those things so they must perform at a very high level. So that is the problem for Argentum, as a basic issue, they lack or are losing their creativity, their intellectual power, their ability to express their ideas.
This is why that symptom of Talking Aggravates appears for Argentum - part of the group problem for every remedy in Row 5. Learning materia medica is all about understanding the context. Otherwise you can attach any meaning to symptoms and this can be misleading. What is underneath the symptom, that is what matters, because what is underneath is what we need to see (the shape of the vital energy).
'Soul of Remedies' no longer gives the most exact description of remedies. It is an old materia medica, slightly outdated. Much of what is there has been expanded upon or superceded by all the later books. Sankaran still saw Disease as Delusion then, an old concept.
Arg-nit is the C-ancer miasm, Argentum is the Sycotic miasm. Androctonus on the other hands is Tubercular.
I have seen plenty of Argentum patients. You have never given me any of the basic problems or conflicts of that remedy, not until you decided to read up on them. I have told you already, the moment you start doing this you corrupt your natural expressions and I cannot trust it. Yet you keep doing it, then present it to me as if I will do something about it. In fact it does the opposite - I have to discount it. You are not doing yourself any favors nor me.
You change your mind about your remedy constantly. That is because you are completely incapable of seeing it clearly. I don't really understand why you don't believe me - your state obscures your sight, making every remedy seem like you.
Stop doing it. Stop. I realise that you feel you have to keep dominating me, trying to be the superior one in our relationship, but it is just making it harder and harder for me to ever get the right remedy for you.
What you are good at does not lead to a remedy. It is what you are bad at that does. I am not going to cure your positive traits, so they do not matter when trying to find a remedy. A remedy matches a disease - do you think being good at being a lawyer is a disease that we need to cure in you? Shall we rob you of your true calling with a remedy?
Don't mix up pop pyschology and astrology with true homoeopathic knowledge. As Hahnemann said, you must know what is to be cured in disease, to be a true practitioner of the medical arts.
All symptoms that occur to you are part of your state. When you proving a remedy, you prove the parts that are most like you, that you are most sensitive to. When there is a common theme of reactions, regardless of what remedy has done it, it helps to form the totality for that patient.
Proving a remedy is just like having a car accident. It is an external threat to the balance in your vital energy, which creates a response. Your vital energy, being already sick and disordered, produces a response that is in keeping with that disorder. So your remedy can still be seen, even when mixed with the proving symptoms of another remedy.
In a healthy person this is not true, they display only the proving symptoms, in a pure form.
When we do provings, the provers catalogue all their symptoms for weeks or months before taking the remedy, so that their natural symptoms can be screened out. This is because their natural symptoms will be stimulated during a proving as well. It takes alot of time and effort to do this, but it has to be done so that we don't get invidiual's symptoms mixed up with those unique to the medicine.
Spears are not a symptom of Platina, so it is your symptom. It is also very peculiar and fits with the general symptoms of wanting to kill or do violence to others that you display.
Sighing frequently is not peculiar, and is not relevent in terms of the rest of your case. It is very low in the hierarchy of symptoms when compared to everything else you say and do. Focussing on that kind of symptom will lead you nowhere.
Argentum feels that they most perform at a very high level. They must push themselves intellectually, and what they usually do is push themselves beyond what they can do and their mind becomes exhausted.
Anything to do with performing aggravates them, because it is the pinnacle of the Silver group, Row 5 in the periodic table. Performance, expression, art, new ideas, learning, science, religion, spirituality, acting, speaking, singing etc. Argentum lies in column 11, where there is a struggle to hold on to those things - Argentum constantly feels they might lose those things so they must perform at a very high level. So that is the problem for Argentum, as a basic issue, they lack or are losing their creativity, their intellectual power, their ability to express their ideas.
This is why that symptom of Talking Aggravates appears for Argentum - part of the group problem for every remedy in Row 5. Learning materia medica is all about understanding the context. Otherwise you can attach any meaning to symptoms and this can be misleading. What is underneath the symptom, that is what matters, because what is underneath is what we need to see (the shape of the vital energy).
'Soul of Remedies' no longer gives the most exact description of remedies. It is an old materia medica, slightly outdated. Much of what is there has been expanded upon or superceded by all the later books. Sankaran still saw Disease as Delusion then, an old concept.
Arg-nit is the C-ancer miasm, Argentum is the Sycotic miasm. Androctonus on the other hands is Tubercular.
I have seen plenty of Argentum patients. You have never given me any of the basic problems or conflicts of that remedy, not until you decided to read up on them. I have told you already, the moment you start doing this you corrupt your natural expressions and I cannot trust it. Yet you keep doing it, then present it to me as if I will do something about it. In fact it does the opposite - I have to discount it. You are not doing yourself any favors nor me.
You change your mind about your remedy constantly. That is because you are completely incapable of seeing it clearly. I don't really understand why you don't believe me - your state obscures your sight, making every remedy seem like you.
Stop doing it. Stop. I realise that you feel you have to keep dominating me, trying to be the superior one in our relationship, but it is just making it harder and harder for me to ever get the right remedy for you.
♡ brisbanehomoeopath last decade
OkI calmed down. I will explain below what made me calm down.
I never paid attention to what makes me aggravate. Today it seems logical to me that the things that make you aggravate are telling things and should be observed. Also myy general anxiety reduced since platina, so getting anxiety, panic back makes you notice it more.
In chronological order what happened today:
1. I had to do a task for my father and speaking was difficult, no energy wich aggravated me a bit. But did not make me want to live the house. All was fine still
2. I went ahead to write a long post with my ideas and started feeling panicky, anxious. Hmm I am feeling a bit anxious again. Worrying thoughts and just needed to leave the house.
3. I went down stairs to drink before leaving the house. And it clicked in my mind by the way I was moving my neck, hands that I finally know how to this describe this movements I feel when I am panicky - jerking. I read before under the arg-met rubric and knew this from months ago when I read material medica compulsively that they have jerking, electric shocks, convulsion under the pysichal rubric. So being aggravated and having jerky movements after a long time and refreshing my memory earlier from the book I could connect those 2 things. Jerky movement happens when on a manual car you do not shift correctly, right? This is exactly how to describe my movement when I am panicky. And exactly how I get every time I used to smoke marijuana.
4. I went out. Down to the narrow park pathway beside a lake as in the morning. But than panic hit me and I could not walk this narrow pathway in case someone will walk on this pathway and I will have to pass them I will not be able to do this. Rarely someone walk on this pathway. But I could not do it.
5. So I run up a hill on an open field to just get away from all this. And I was fine. No problem or aggravation what so ever. I decided to be up there and wait till it gets dark.
6. So when it was getting dark but not really being dark yet I decided to go. As I had enough of being on the field. And I walked past the narrow pathway beside the lake. Tried again but could not go onto it. So I went another way. Then I got back to town. Back from the open fields onto a street where on the left side was open nature but on the right side were houses and I felt constricting headache. Pressure, tensions. AGGRAVATION. Difficult deep breathing. It was just horrible.
7. I was feeling really really bad. In a bad state. When I got close to home I hurried into it and just worried about how much worse this might get tonight and what if inside the house I will feel as bad as while walking in town.
8. Then I was at home, inside, my father upstairs and started feeling panicky in case he comes down. I grabbed the laptop. Got close to the balcony in case it will get too much and I will need to get out and I wrote my last post about feeling panicky. I felt just like I used to when high on the marijuana. So I was panicky. The option of going out the balcony if it gets too much while being in the living room is not a solution. Because if I got out. I would have to disappear. The worst thing that my mother always does when I am feeling panicky is ask me the horrible question of what is wrong?. When I am feeling panicky and someone asks me this question it makes me even more panicky and I start thinking that something must be wrong than and fear something even worse happening now.
9. So someone came home than. It was my younger brother. Thank god not my mother as I would just run out immediately to not make the impression that something is wrong and get asked that panic provoking question of whats wrong?. So I stayed. I was listening/observing my body and anxiety the anxiety was building up, close to panic but then when he came into the room it got down again and I noticed I will manage to do it. Stay. So I was ok, able to deal with it all, than my father came down and I was ok too. And my anxiety went and I started feeling better. And it wasnt as bad as I thought it will be. So than I went out again.
10. My left wrist started hurting at one point when I got home and caused additional panic. What made the pain go away was holding it tight, applying pressure
Unless the scorpio remedy has issues with space I doubt it will do anything past the aggravation. Since phosphorus actually the need for company has gone down. Since then I dont cry about wanting to be with the girls I see at night.
I am open again to take whatever remedy I might need since I feel better in case you do not agree with arg nit sounding like my remedy.
Sorry for all this
I never paid attention to what makes me aggravate. Today it seems logical to me that the things that make you aggravate are telling things and should be observed. Also myy general anxiety reduced since platina, so getting anxiety, panic back makes you notice it more.
In chronological order what happened today:
1. I had to do a task for my father and speaking was difficult, no energy wich aggravated me a bit. But did not make me want to live the house. All was fine still
2. I went ahead to write a long post with my ideas and started feeling panicky, anxious. Hmm I am feeling a bit anxious again. Worrying thoughts and just needed to leave the house.
3. I went down stairs to drink before leaving the house. And it clicked in my mind by the way I was moving my neck, hands that I finally know how to this describe this movements I feel when I am panicky - jerking. I read before under the arg-met rubric and knew this from months ago when I read material medica compulsively that they have jerking, electric shocks, convulsion under the pysichal rubric. So being aggravated and having jerky movements after a long time and refreshing my memory earlier from the book I could connect those 2 things. Jerky movement happens when on a manual car you do not shift correctly, right? This is exactly how to describe my movement when I am panicky. And exactly how I get every time I used to smoke marijuana.
4. I went out. Down to the narrow park pathway beside a lake as in the morning. But than panic hit me and I could not walk this narrow pathway in case someone will walk on this pathway and I will have to pass them I will not be able to do this. Rarely someone walk on this pathway. But I could not do it.
5. So I run up a hill on an open field to just get away from all this. And I was fine. No problem or aggravation what so ever. I decided to be up there and wait till it gets dark.
6. So when it was getting dark but not really being dark yet I decided to go. As I had enough of being on the field. And I walked past the narrow pathway beside the lake. Tried again but could not go onto it. So I went another way. Then I got back to town. Back from the open fields onto a street where on the left side was open nature but on the right side were houses and I felt constricting headache. Pressure, tensions. AGGRAVATION. Difficult deep breathing. It was just horrible.
7. I was feeling really really bad. In a bad state. When I got close to home I hurried into it and just worried about how much worse this might get tonight and what if inside the house I will feel as bad as while walking in town.
8. Then I was at home, inside, my father upstairs and started feeling panicky in case he comes down. I grabbed the laptop. Got close to the balcony in case it will get too much and I will need to get out and I wrote my last post about feeling panicky. I felt just like I used to when high on the marijuana. So I was panicky. The option of going out the balcony if it gets too much while being in the living room is not a solution. Because if I got out. I would have to disappear. The worst thing that my mother always does when I am feeling panicky is ask me the horrible question of what is wrong?. When I am feeling panicky and someone asks me this question it makes me even more panicky and I start thinking that something must be wrong than and fear something even worse happening now.
9. So someone came home than. It was my younger brother. Thank god not my mother as I would just run out immediately to not make the impression that something is wrong and get asked that panic provoking question of whats wrong?. So I stayed. I was listening/observing my body and anxiety the anxiety was building up, close to panic but then when he came into the room it got down again and I noticed I will manage to do it. Stay. So I was ok, able to deal with it all, than my father came down and I was ok too. And my anxiety went and I started feeling better. And it wasnt as bad as I thought it will be. So than I went out again.
10. My left wrist started hurting at one point when I got home and caused additional panic. What made the pain go away was holding it tight, applying pressure
Unless the scorpio remedy has issues with space I doubt it will do anything past the aggravation. Since phosphorus actually the need for company has gone down. Since then I dont cry about wanting to be with the girls I see at night.
I am open again to take whatever remedy I might need since I feel better in case you do not agree with arg nit sounding like my remedy.
Sorry for all this
vitamin.X last decade
I see your reply. I will read it.
I am sorry for all this. I dont think I am trying to dominate anything at all. Just help
Sorry again. thanks for helping me still
lets see if the scorpio will cure me
I am sorry for all this. I dont think I am trying to dominate anything at all. Just help
Sorry again. thanks for helping me still
lets see if the scorpio will cure me
vitamin.X last decade
Please read the 10 points anyway as lots of good info I believe is there. I have issues with space - maybe I need an animal similar to arg nit
vitamin.X last decade
I at no point wanted to be arg nit yesterday. So please do not discard it. At first I talked about how haughty i feel yesterday night and dont want to socialize, but I also said how I felt the need to lighten the mood after saying bad things to not give the impression as if I have meant it seriously what I said about my cat. I believe it can be seen there that I try to describe what I feel objectively as I would not say this if I wanted to be platina. Because platina surely would not feel the need to lighten the mood.
How I described the issue with meeting a girl is absolutely correct and sounds like the c-ancer miasm anyway.
I will do as you say anyway, but animals never improved anything for me. Minerals did though, phosporus platina did.
How I described the issue with meeting a girl is absolutely correct and sounds like the c-ancer miasm anyway.
I will do as you say anyway, but animals never improved anything for me. Minerals did though, phosporus platina did.
vitamin.X last decade
my father gave me another task. One that might take time of me every day. And my first feeling was of being trapped into this horrible task now and needing to get out.
Please listen. This is a common sensation of me as can be seen everywhere. When you call me being in denial, etc. I was walking in town breathing deeply as if I am not getting enough air. Maybe I need animal with those issues but please help
[message edited by vitamin.X on Thu, 22 Sep 2011 10:06:11 BST]
Please listen. This is a common sensation of me as can be seen everywhere. When you call me being in denial, etc. I was walking in town breathing deeply as if I am not getting enough air. Maybe I need animal with those issues but please help
[message edited by vitamin.X on Thu, 22 Sep 2011 10:06:11 BST]
vitamin.X last decade
I might be good as a lawyer maybe, it could be something I would enjoy being but at the moment of course it isnt possible. Because of my issues. My writing isnt even logical and clear. What is funny is that after I read your post of dismissing arg-nit for me I re read my post of the 10 points and it sounded such a mess and illogical. But now that I calmed down and re read it again not feeling bad about it anymore that you dismissed it... it doesnt sound so bad,
I really dont know whether someone reading my 10 points can follow them and understand them clearly or whether they are difficult to follow.
I really dont know whether someone reading my 10 points can follow them and understand them clearly or whether they are difficult to follow.
vitamin.X last decade
I really had strong aggravation today until I calmed down. How I felt panicky today is how I feel at my worst. And This way I felt only in the past when smoking marijuana.
Marijuana always aggravated my state and I became panicky and tried to get away from people, be on my own. and feared that the panic/anxiety will get to much while on my own still so I would move, being still is the worst in such situation
[message edited by vitamin.X on Thu, 22 Sep 2011 10:40:12 BST]
Marijuana always aggravated my state and I became panicky and tried to get away from people, be on my own. and feared that the panic/anxiety will get to much while on my own still so I would move, being still is the worst in such situation
[message edited by vitamin.X on Thu, 22 Sep 2011 10:40:12 BST]
vitamin.X last decade
Another symptom. I dont want to really put it here now but I just want to get cured and fear arg nit is now excluded and will never be considered again so I will put it down and you either consider it or not, up to you. and if this symptom is not important dismiss it... but I get hoarsness. Lose my voice quick if I talk a lot, a bit more loud than my normal loudness level. happens always
vitamin.X last decade
I never talk loud though, rarely since my older brother isnt at home anymore and since i got anxiety. so this happens rarely
vitamin.X last decade
I really am not trying to dominate anyone. This sounded a bit funny. It is just my fear of missing the correct remedy.
I feel good now that the panic has gone from earlier today.
I wonder whether low potencies like 200c or high potencies like 1M are the stronger ones? I mean which one should aggravate me more?
I feel good now that the panic has gone from earlier today.
I wonder whether low potencies like 200c or high potencies like 1M are the stronger ones? I mean which one should aggravate me more?
vitamin.X last decade
Aggravation doesn't have anything to do with the potency.
Aggravation is determined by several things.
1. Primarily the size of the dose (how much you actually take, whether you use dry pillules, how many drops, how much water you dilute in)
2. Frequency of the dose
3. Sensitivity of the patient
4. History of suppression of symptoms and diseases (usually through medication)
5. How extensive tissue changes are in the body
Aggravation is determined by several things.
1. Primarily the size of the dose (how much you actually take, whether you use dry pillules, how many drops, how much water you dilute in)
2. Frequency of the dose
3. Sensitivity of the patient
4. History of suppression of symptoms and diseases (usually through medication)
5. How extensive tissue changes are in the body
♡ brisbanehomoeopath last decade
thanks. I have some new ideas and will post them soon. I will talk out of my head. I apologise for all this. It will be random things - like what would happen if my parents died etc. Since they just had a fight and it brought it up
I am trying really hard to be helpful.
EDIT: Not feeling good by the way anymore. Since walking home and looking at houses under street light it brought up all this heaviness, tensions, bad feelings. And than even when away from those houses, windows, corners, balconies I still had those feelings and they dont go away easily than once they are here
[message edited by vitamin.X on Thu, 22 Sep 2011 12:34:26 BST]
I am trying really hard to be helpful.
EDIT: Not feeling good by the way anymore. Since walking home and looking at houses under street light it brought up all this heaviness, tensions, bad feelings. And than even when away from those houses, windows, corners, balconies I still had those feelings and they dont go away easily than once they are here
[message edited by vitamin.X on Thu, 22 Sep 2011 12:34:26 BST]
vitamin.X last decade
Something a bit different.
First of all I want to say platina surely did improve many things. As my BDD still is stable, and I am not on Platina anymore for more than 10 days now I believe. If before I didnt know what reaction means, now I know since platina. I am unaffected or much less reactive to things I usually would react badly too. For example I asked my mother to look at something on my eyebrows to tell me what it is and she came up with that it might be the skin disease my brother has and I felt a bit of heat coming into my face and small reaction maybe, but it was nothing compared to how I reacted 2 years ago when she told me I am loosing my hair. I had my anxiety moment but it felt light and in the end I was convincing her that she must be wrong. I looked in the mirror and saw this must be just from scratching my eyes often from the oil and she later agreed with me. So it was all good.
Platina must have done something. But how and why? And could one with knowing that platina helped somehow find out which remedy my similimum is in fact or does this not help at all.
_____________
So I was outside and while walking home at one point I started having the bad pushing heavy sensations which came once I walked up hill with bright street lights that lit up the surroundings. And the moment I look at a house I get those heavy strange sensations that I hate. I just see doors, windows, corners of the house, sideways, street corners from everywhere someone danger some person. I just hate it. I just dont know where someone could be.
Also in the night I can look from 20 metres away hidden in the dark at a house with its windows and balconies and feel a somewhat strong reaction. I dont know why! If someone looked out of it I would have to immediately look away because if I stayed and kept looking the reaction would just get stronger and I would freeze, blackout, be unmovable. So only solution is to look away and never look at the house if someone came out. Otherwise I would get this strong freezing anxiety rush and need to look away again quick.
It reminds me of a time when I was once In a sport betting bar when I was 16 watching a soccer game live on the big TV in the bar with my father and brother. I was horribly anxious since it was early morning. So I was sitting turned towards the entry. So that everyone who would enter the bar would look at me. And this caused me great anxiety, panic. So once I only remember 2 asian guys came in. I was so afraid they will look at me and laugh. That I froze up and had anxiety attacks, that felt like a blackout, for 3 or 4 seconds I would get the pounding, anxiety rush in my head and as if having a blackout than it would come down again and seconds later again the pounding and rush while getting all red in my face and feeling hot. And so next time after the blackout, pounding stopped I look at the Asian guys at the entry and see how they are laughing really hard at me. But I couldnt move or walk away. Just feel the anxiety. I couldnt even look away to hide my face. I just looked at the TV and probably looked like I have gone away, that I am not in my body anymore. Total freeze up and pounding anxiety rush.
______
My parents just had a bit of a fight and this always leaves me feeling bad. What would I be without my parents? How would I live if they died. Very very difficult. My family you know they know me. I know them. I have an emotional connection with them. Not so much with my father but he still knows who I am, we have lived together for many years. If my parents died and my brothers would go away with whom would I have this emotional connection or have people where I can be myself around?? With people of this country I live in, all the talk is just superficial, no connection, I cannot connect with anyone and get the sense that I opened up and let my walls down, or guard down and let them touch,( argh I feel like crying and cannot even write this word down, let alone ever speak it out loud, or say this sentence ever to a person face to face or even on the phone) The word is heart! With my dog, I can let my defences down too. I dont need to worry how I am appearing to her. She would be the only one I could connect with if my family where not here anymore. I will never walk down the street with an open heart.
I must say since Platina I felt a lot more comfortable sharing emotional stuff with my younger brother. It was much better. Before I would not even ever think I could say some things I talked about with my younger brother and feel ok with it. Since platina I also feel closer to people. Ok with having more physical contact too. And it seemed for the first time possible to me that I might have a girlfriend in the future and have my parents know about it
Why has platina helped in many ways? I hope when I say this that you dont dismiss such things. Platina has been by far the most effective remedy to date. Even after being off it for 10 days.
You want me to stop the remedy talks, but how could I ever do this and put my life in some other persons hands and be quiet and sit back, do nothing. This sounds like a mistake to me. I could not take making such mistake. I would become too restless if I had to sit back and just report
First of all I want to say platina surely did improve many things. As my BDD still is stable, and I am not on Platina anymore for more than 10 days now I believe. If before I didnt know what reaction means, now I know since platina. I am unaffected or much less reactive to things I usually would react badly too. For example I asked my mother to look at something on my eyebrows to tell me what it is and she came up with that it might be the skin disease my brother has and I felt a bit of heat coming into my face and small reaction maybe, but it was nothing compared to how I reacted 2 years ago when she told me I am loosing my hair. I had my anxiety moment but it felt light and in the end I was convincing her that she must be wrong. I looked in the mirror and saw this must be just from scratching my eyes often from the oil and she later agreed with me. So it was all good.
Platina must have done something. But how and why? And could one with knowing that platina helped somehow find out which remedy my similimum is in fact or does this not help at all.
_____________
So I was outside and while walking home at one point I started having the bad pushing heavy sensations which came once I walked up hill with bright street lights that lit up the surroundings. And the moment I look at a house I get those heavy strange sensations that I hate. I just see doors, windows, corners of the house, sideways, street corners from everywhere someone danger some person. I just hate it. I just dont know where someone could be.
Also in the night I can look from 20 metres away hidden in the dark at a house with its windows and balconies and feel a somewhat strong reaction. I dont know why! If someone looked out of it I would have to immediately look away because if I stayed and kept looking the reaction would just get stronger and I would freeze, blackout, be unmovable. So only solution is to look away and never look at the house if someone came out. Otherwise I would get this strong freezing anxiety rush and need to look away again quick.
It reminds me of a time when I was once In a sport betting bar when I was 16 watching a soccer game live on the big TV in the bar with my father and brother. I was horribly anxious since it was early morning. So I was sitting turned towards the entry. So that everyone who would enter the bar would look at me. And this caused me great anxiety, panic. So once I only remember 2 asian guys came in. I was so afraid they will look at me and laugh. That I froze up and had anxiety attacks, that felt like a blackout, for 3 or 4 seconds I would get the pounding, anxiety rush in my head and as if having a blackout than it would come down again and seconds later again the pounding and rush while getting all red in my face and feeling hot. And so next time after the blackout, pounding stopped I look at the Asian guys at the entry and see how they are laughing really hard at me. But I couldnt move or walk away. Just feel the anxiety. I couldnt even look away to hide my face. I just looked at the TV and probably looked like I have gone away, that I am not in my body anymore. Total freeze up and pounding anxiety rush.
______
My parents just had a bit of a fight and this always leaves me feeling bad. What would I be without my parents? How would I live if they died. Very very difficult. My family you know they know me. I know them. I have an emotional connection with them. Not so much with my father but he still knows who I am, we have lived together for many years. If my parents died and my brothers would go away with whom would I have this emotional connection or have people where I can be myself around?? With people of this country I live in, all the talk is just superficial, no connection, I cannot connect with anyone and get the sense that I opened up and let my walls down, or guard down and let them touch,( argh I feel like crying and cannot even write this word down, let alone ever speak it out loud, or say this sentence ever to a person face to face or even on the phone) The word is heart! With my dog, I can let my defences down too. I dont need to worry how I am appearing to her. She would be the only one I could connect with if my family where not here anymore. I will never walk down the street with an open heart.
I must say since Platina I felt a lot more comfortable sharing emotional stuff with my younger brother. It was much better. Before I would not even ever think I could say some things I talked about with my younger brother and feel ok with it. Since platina I also feel closer to people. Ok with having more physical contact too. And it seemed for the first time possible to me that I might have a girlfriend in the future and have my parents know about it
Why has platina helped in many ways? I hope when I say this that you dont dismiss such things. Platina has been by far the most effective remedy to date. Even after being off it for 10 days.
You want me to stop the remedy talks, but how could I ever do this and put my life in some other persons hands and be quiet and sit back, do nothing. This sounds like a mistake to me. I could not take making such mistake. I would become too restless if I had to sit back and just report
vitamin.X last decade
Before the platina. I thought my appearance was my most important thing. There was no life beyond it. I was so dependent on it. But now it is not this horribly big important thing anymore and I also feel better looking than before.
[message edited by vitamin.X on Thu, 22 Sep 2011 13:27:51 BST]
[message edited by vitamin.X on Thu, 22 Sep 2011 13:27:51 BST]
vitamin.X last decade
How much does the similimum transform a person? I felt some pretty drastic change after the platina aggravation but it lasted only for 2 days... I felt mature, MORAL, responsible, serious
vitamin.X last decade
I must have proven some suicide thing while on platina too as I felt totally at peace with the idea of death while aggravating. Thinking a lot about it if you remember. And than after the aggravation for 2 days I was really changed as I mentioned in above post but all got back than
vitamin.X last decade
Maturity , one can feel like a man, good
Responsibility- hmm anxiety, feels heavy, and cannot talk about it.. If I got it this would be heavy. Could not even baby sit someones baby as the responsibility would be too much in case something goes wrong. It would be unpardonable
Morale - either moral or immoral no grey area. I am immoral again. And it does not seem an issue
Hmm did not have much to say about this. So it probably does not mean anything to me. Except that I would not want to have responsibility.
This themes dont mean much to me now unlike for the 2 days after the platina aggravation... I even deleted illegal software, movies did not want to have anything of it. Probably some sort of proving
Responsibility- hmm anxiety, feels heavy, and cannot talk about it.. If I got it this would be heavy. Could not even baby sit someones baby as the responsibility would be too much in case something goes wrong. It would be unpardonable
Morale - either moral or immoral no grey area. I am immoral again. And it does not seem an issue
Hmm did not have much to say about this. So it probably does not mean anything to me. Except that I would not want to have responsibility.
This themes dont mean much to me now unlike for the 2 days after the platina aggravation... I even deleted illegal software, movies did not want to have anything of it. Probably some sort of proving
vitamin.X last decade
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