Could any Dr. help me with fears of flying/heights? _{Page 11 of 33}

Hi Sameer

Reporting after the 3rd dose on Phos LM1.


Mentally has been up and down. Right now i feel alright, started out angry and mixed emotions on this project/music video. I was nervous because I didnt know the people and my parents and bf questioned the whole situation when my gut told me it would all be fine (but my mind questioned the same things they did) I felt better after meeting them but was still nervous about actually filming and flying to Syracuse. Now I am more excited about flying because my mom said she would go with. This takes away from the anxiety about flying, having company-but I feel like im using her and am a little disappointed in myself because i think i should not be afraid to fly. I woke up on the 11th at exactly 3 am again and was anxious/nervous/a little scared. I turned the tv on and watched tv for an hour restlessly. I don't know exactly what has been bothering me but my mind has been very disturbed and confused. I think mostly because the project is something I want to do and enjoy but I am overly critical of my looks (even though many people think I'm very pretty). I always think I am not good enough and have been called narcissistic because apparently i am skinny and pretty and have no reason to have low self esteem. Overall, there was an unsettling feeling following me, nervous stomach, lack of appetite, appeared normal i think to others. The unsettling feeling has lessened today a little because I got thru my first day of shooting and i felt pretty comfortable and i think i did an ok job. But, i have been quiet and probably come across as somewhat shy and withdrawn.



Physically, My period came not even an hour after taking the dose. was stuffy in nose and sinuses at first, seems to have cleared up more than usual today. Dry skin, loss of appetite from being nervous. Today my appetite somewhat returned.

The experience with this project makes me question (again) what I want to do for a career. I do a little of everything and am not sure what to pursue. Overall I am a little lost on what direction to pursue in life, in general. It makes me feel alone and isolated at times and I look to connect with people. I feel pretty influencable at the moment.

Will await your direction.
Thanks Sameer I hope all is well with you.
Jenny

Yes there is always pain in breasts before cycle. Some more than most but its been going on ever since I got off of birth control when i was 22 (almost 4 years ago now). Swollen, tender at least for 3 days before period sometimes longer.

Anywhere between 2 and 4 am really bothers me mentally, 3 o'clock especially when i wake up alone and its quiet or dark. thats why i always slept with tv on. Now I just sleep with the light on. When I was on Puls this was a lot less intense.

I will not be flying to NY anymore due to budget concerns and my filming stuff is over now. I am somewhat relieved that I don't have to fly, a little bummed but mostly relieved.

Had to order...will report as advised.

I read on Kali-Carb,the random 'sharp,cutting' pains are very characteristic along with compulsive, things outside control are upsetting, and fear being felt in the solar plexus, among many others listed.

Thank you Sameer, looking forward to seeing what happens with this one.
Jenny

Hi Sameer,

It has only been 5 days since dose. I slowly developed a sore throat the last few days since dose and now today i have a sinus infection. before today it was clear mucus i sneezed out and now it is yellow this morning. I do not know if this is the remedy or from sick people. two people that i trade massage with were sick and breathing on me during getting worked on. (gross). my symptoms match at least one of them, i dont have a deep cough like her though. i was thinking of gargling colloidal silver or taking a little internally but wanted to check with you to see if you advise against that or not.

mentally has been up and down in the beginning, i'm not sure how i feel mentally now to be honest, motivated to move out of south dakota i guess.I havent heard from the film crew to see how the rest of the video turned out so i assume they were not as honest as i thought when they were here and that makes me feel pretty bad for liking and believing them. dreams have become more vivid, 2 nites had dreams of protecting children or my baby (no baby or children in real life for me)

cravings for sweets after meals has returned a little. teeth are no longer really sensitive like they were when brushing. acne worsened. new eczema patches on arm but not very noticeable.

Thanks Sameer,
Jenny

ok thank you

i was supposed to report today, a full week after dose...since the last report, the day after i got more achy and a fever of 100 after a bath, but felt better soon after. My dad was also sick with a fever and aches so i dont know if me feeling icky was from remedy or from people around me being sick.

Mentally I was starting to feel in a very good mood again and today i felt physically better. i was excited to go to las vegas for my friends wedding in 2 weeks and then i was thinking about renting a car and drive thru southern cal by myself but as i started to plan i got a little anxious. i hate making future plans especially when it involves flying and spending money and uncertainties. and after that my boyfriend came over and i noticed after coition i just got very blah and restless and insecure feeling. i am not sure what is bothering me.
sleeping straight thru the night. if i woke up at 2-4 i fell asleep immediately with not much thought to it, tv is still off, light on.

physically there are some patches and spider like looking bumps on left arm that itch in the morning.
sore throat when waking up
nose still stuffy on one side at all times.
cravings for sweets is back
heart skipping beats when laying on back.
shooting pains in ankles/shins

cant think of anything else
will wait to hear from you

jenny

ok thank u sameer

Hi Sameer,

I think its been a week since last post.
I have Kali Carb 200C

Will start by saying that my dad getting sick the same time as me last week was coincidence. we figured out he was sick from a certain drink he had the day before. still don't know if it was from the other sick people i was around.


Physically:

On monday i had headache, felt sick. after i exercised i spiked a temp of 99.5 and felt nauseous.

itchy bumps on arm for short time...usually after showers or baths

craving sweets again.

teeth are less sensitive

sinuses are really draining. blowing nose alot. some days mucous is white or yellow but most all the time its clear. back has been bothering me but i was also inactive since bein sick. when i am more physically active my back hurts less.

body hair is growing thicker and more of it.


Mentally

started out the week a little over stimulated. i am driving to vegas next week and then renting a car and driving down to LA, OC, and San Diego, probably Arizona also. I'll be flying back home 2 weeks later but not alone, my mom said she would fly down to vegas before flying back with me.
during the week i was mostly busy and mentally pretty good. wednesday i was pretty irritable but i got over it. today i have been pretty happy and appreciative. physically a bit tired and weak.

overall i'd say I've been a bit back and forth, not in a terrible way, but a little confusing here and there.

my dreams have been more vivid. one was of an airport and another was something kind of creepy I woke up gasping for air feeling like i was being smothered. i wasn't so scared that i couldnt fall back to sleep though, i just checked the clock to make sure it wasnt around 3 am.

will await your advise
thank you i hope you are well :)
jenny

1)

I have not woke up around 2-4 am or been scared around that time at all that I'm aware of anyway. I have been going to sleep later than usual (around 11 or 12) this week and I dont know if that plays a part. I thought maybe i was more tired since ive been going to sleep later and more tired in general. but there have been times that i've been in the same situation and i've woke up at those times like clockwork. in fact...when i had that creepy dream i almost instantly expected it to be near 3:00 and if it would have been i probably would have been more freaked out. but it was 5:30am or so, i went back to sleep fairly easily


2)

I do wake up this way kind of often. it hasn't happened in a while now-can't remember the last time. but every once in a while i will have extremely vivid dreams about deaths. one I'll never forget was me being stabbed in the head and i had physical pain upon waking up in a panic. this might sound weird...but the dream was actually a creepy 'me' standing there, asking creepy self questions about my daughter (which was reffering to me). I-the observer/dreamer- was basically observing a creepy version of myself ask questions to herself about me-the observer-how i died. anyway, the question creepy me asked was 'how did she die' and then as the answer came about the creepy version of myself looked at myself (the observer/dreamer) and as 'she' looked at 'me' she asked very scary and creepily and drawn out as she looked RIGHT at me (the dreamer) 'did she drown?' and thats when i shot up gasping for air.

so, this may sound REALLY really crazy..lol... but i was told by some guru in india that i've been killed many times in many past lives, and more often, i drowned in deep water or was smothered. i've been waking up gasping for air long before i heard this though, in fact...its just normal to me. or as i fall asleep ...drifting/dozing... ill still be somewhat awake and i can feel my heart skip beats and ill feel smothered or like im breathing too shallow so i will panic and wake up. more of a problem when i fall asleep rather than waking up.

ps. the physical pain from the dream i mentioned...it was almost like i could feel the knife enter my head there was a crunch of the skull and it was cold and piercing, its still vivid to this day. i woke up with the pain in my head exactly where i got stabbed in my dream.

and, overall...mentally this week even with the few confusions i'd say theres been a positive change from before kalicarb

Hi Sameer,

I can wait, no problem. but i think i downplayed (even with myself) the extent of my irritableness. It was off and on and when i posted yesterday i was in good mood but then by the end of day plans didnt go how i was told they would go so i was very irritable with bf and this morning i am even more mad about things. i think my period is coming in the next few days and this could be why because it does not feel rational and i have been trying to ignore it. i also go in between appreciative and happy to irritable and mad but i don't see myself coming out of this one as quickly as i did the others. its getting more confusing. i am being irritable with family now and they didn't do anything.

thanks Sameer,
Jenny

should i continue to wait? i broke down today after yelling at bf and i started crying feeling lost, wondering who i am or what im doing and felt like nothing i do makes sense. i feel a little better after crying but still somewhat vulnerable.

yea its a quick change. it goes so quickly i dont have much time to process whats going on and i feel confused by it. today i was mad upon awakening, from last night. i yelled at bf and as soon as he apologized i cried because i didn't like how i was acting. i knew it was immature but i was so mad for some reason. right now i feel subdued because of the outburst. i haven't had these changeable things happen in a while (before my period especially). perhaps i'm a little hard on myself and just disappointed in my actions and the fact that i feel lost in general. the trip i am going on is basically an idea i had to maybe check out possible places i'd like to move to before deciding. im hoping the alone time will help me make a decision clear to me.

alright. i will post thursday night as we are leaving around 11am driving to vegas friday morning.

thanks sameer

Thank you!
I am getting excited for sure

Hi Sameer,

I've been feeling very odd.

Saturday the 6th:
was so irritable, i was mad from the night before. i had plans with boyfriend and plans had been going awry all day so i was looking forward to the night. he didn't sound as excited when i talked to him so my mood shifted enough for me to decide to stay home alone. i left work early on saturday and was mad at bf or just plain mad. i yelled at him thru text and then after he said sorry i cried and felt like i didn't even know who i was anymore. i got sleepy.

Sunday 7th:
i got somewhat motivated again. tired around 10 am. trying not to plan things. waking up around 5-6 am, going to sleep around 11pm-midnight.
physically: stringy mucous, a lot of draining of mucous.

Monday the 8th:
I was better earlier in the day. there was a change of plans in my trip. I was excited about it until my friend told me the car's wheel fell off (the car we were going to drive to vegas).
got a bad feeling about everything else, forced to book a plane ticket last minute. we leave Saturday now.
physically: tired, not eating much, no appetite, dehydrated, back hurting from inactivity, stopped working out. sleep: woke up at 2, 3, 4 and 6. fell back to sleep relatively easily.

Tues the 9th:
overall feeling withdrawn. feeling better being alone. i think deep down im nervous about flying, the trip, spending money i probably don't have, and i feel like i can't even talk about it to anyone because its all issues i have with myself. usually i look for consolation and i think i'm unsettled because i feel like im not allowing myself to get that consolation. i want everything to feel better but i know that no one can make it that way. i chose to stay alone for the night not talking to family or bf much.

wednesday:
slept tuesday night from 11-5 or 6ish with only a dim light on. i got a feeling that i should confront my fear of sleeping in the dark since i had this icky feeling about confronting my fear of flight, spending money, and no control over my situation. i slept w/o fear and w/o waking up. had dream about my uncle that passed a year ago. i am forcing myself to not make plans or be attached to them. im changing the way i speak about my plans as if i have no control over them, because i am finally admitting i dont.

I went over to bf's house this night. he eventually got tired of whatever attitude he thought i had. he told me i was being a bitch and that i get on his nerves. i left unemotional, just a little upset but i couldn't allow myself to get into it. i went home and took a bath, he apologized quickly and i accepted easily. i had little to say about it.

I slept this night again with only a dim light on. this is dimmer than my regular lights i usually have on. and this is with no tv on either. i had the cat sleep with me for company. i woke up at 3, 4, 430 and 5ish. i had terrifying dreams filled with torture and violence. i was a little afraid when waking up and considered turning on tv but told myself not to.

Today, the 11th...
still a little withdrawn compared to my 'normal' self. wanting to get excited about the trip but also am remaining reserved and am even preparing as if i have to fly alone. its different than before tho. I used to really look for consolation about flying. i am a bit scared. but i feel like there is absolutely nothing i can do to control anything about this situation. i figure if i'm supposed to die in a plane crash, then i will. or you know...something else irrationally morbid :)

I feel like this is a good thing, but i am not getting excited over it because i know there is still some fear facing ahead of me and i feel like i have a lot of alone time ahead of me also. I am trying hard to accept things for whatever they are and not label them as anything.

sorry this is so long but could not think of any other way to explain it than the way i wrote my feelings down day to day.

No period yet but my breasts are a little tender since yesterday. its day 30 of cycle. i have a feeling it will be here in a couple days.

Will await your advice/comments.
Thank you Sameer,
Jenny