Could any Dr. help me with fears of flying/heights? _{Page 25 of 33}

Hi Sameer,

I dosed as you advised.

Physically:

I got my period on day 37. Cramps were not as bad as usual. There were only 2 days that were a regular flow day and the rest was light to spotting. 5-6 days total.

I was EXTREMELY FATIGUED. I still am.
My back and my neck= stiff and achey. I had to take one pain killer yesterday. I was on vacation (family reunion) and I didn't want to be inside miserable all day when it was so beautiful outside.

yellow nasal discharge after 2nd dose. felt like sinus infection. allergies continued except when away from cat the last 4 days. (If I lived on my own I would totally not have a cat).

acne got noticeably worse. not sure if it was lyco or my menstrual cycle doing it. It got worse on my face, back, and chest/neck.

Overall, physically worse.


Mentally:

right before period I got emotional after my dad made a stupid comment about a painting of mine. I never paint because I always thought I wasn't that good so when he said 'that doesn't look very good' I got discouraged and upset. I went to sleep and felt better upon awakening. I realize that other's opinions shouldn't matter and I don't need to listen to things like that.

overall I was mentally alright, but very very very tired. i felt like i was on auto pilot. I even went to sleep one night for about 30 mins and awoke VERY irritated. So I went back to sleep and slept for about 11 hours straight (woke up a bit, but always fell right back to sleep).

I've been able to be pretty honest with everyone about where I'm at with them. I got flowers (2 dozen roses!) at work on Thursday which gave me a boost, i was pretty tired that day. It felt nice to be shown I was appreciated for no particular reason at all.

While on family reunion vacation, I was in a lot of pain overall, but i still really tried to be happy and have fun in spite of the discomfort. I enjoyed being around the family members i was most comfortable with. Sometimes I feel like I don't fit in with my other family members, mostly because I think they don't know how to approach me. Maybe I give off the impression I don't want to talk to them, but really...I'd be quite open if they seemed interested in my life and took the initiative to ask me questions about what's going on with me. I take initiative and ask about them when I'm compelled to.

I cried from the pain on Sunday. That's when I decided to take the pain killer. I didn't want to, but I had been trying to find relief w/o medication for a good week and I just couldn't stand the discomfort any more.

I also had weird dreams. Some were me being chased and stolen from. Another was really violent where I was attacked by someone with the intentions of rape. I woke up shocked that I actually had the dream and wondered where it came from. I didn't wake up terrified, but just a little like, 'wow'.

Now that I am back home, I feel a bit more in my element. But I just honestly am not sure how I feel overall. I just know I am wanting to be free of pain and I really believe I will get better and that my 100% is just around the corner, but I guess it is just so mentally and emotionally draining, maybe I'm not giving my body the rest it needs. Maybe I am still beating myself up without even realizing it. I'm a little clueless, going in and out of a new positive state of mind that I love being in, where everything seems possible and even though I have pain, there is a certainty that it will be overcome... and then dipping down into the old ways of thinking where it seems like nothing is working, and when will it ever end?

Just a little confusing to me.

Thanks Sameer.

Just bumping up

Hi Sameer.

Overall, it's been a pretty 'ugh' week. More rollercoaster-ish than anything. It seems like there is something dragging my emotions and mentality down and I keep fighting with myself to remain positive and rational and in good spirits even though I don't feel well. It's been challenging.

Physically, I'm not doing well. Very tired, yet i don't feel like sleeping at bed time. I haven't been doing my exercising like i was. lots of back pain and just overall discomfort. I even have been sleeping with tv on for two nights in a row, going to sleep at like 130 in the morning. I'm very short of breath when i get up and walk, dizzy spells/faint feeling. my temps were initially lower, in the 97 range, even 96.9 one day, this is really low and used to be my average temp. it hasn't been this low for a while. But, now it's back in the 98 ish range and spiking small temps when doing the sauna and baths.

I still have allergies, but the raw eyes went away. Mostly i'm just sneezing around my cat now.

Acne on chest and back cleared up, face is still a little blah but it's starting to clear up a little bit i guess.

i had a dream of a plane crashing too. No one was hurt in the crash. Im mostly having really weird flashes of disturbing images while I'm awake. I don't even know where this comes from. I don't get scared, more upset that i can't figure out WHY it's happening.

Overall, I really don't know what to think of my state at this point. I feel depressed but at the same time I still mentally push myself to overcome it. So i go back and forth with myself many times a day. Today I cried by myself shortly, but I still functioned. I'd like to think I'm staying fairly calm about it, at least outwardly.

I'm working less this week. I'm just plain TIRED. i wish i could allow myself to take time off work to rest, but then i'm kind of afraid i won't make good use of that time.

most of the things on my mind are future plans. I'm ready to be done with this disease and find what I'm meant to do with my life. Its hard to do while I'm working just barely enough to pay for medical bills/massages/living and the rest of the time I'm doing things to keep myself from feeling like total crap. I get little time to plan out my life. I don't even know what I should be doing half the time. I am constantly reminding myself daily, to just let go of old habits and ways of thinking. They don't serve a purpose anymore and I view them as limiting and destructive, I'm ready to be happy and enjoy life. i'm trying to be as objective as possible about my feelings and thoughts. I'm just really ready to turn into a new ME and move on, but it's hard when the old physical pains are still clinging on and i don't know why.

I hope this makes sense, I can't really call this a negative or a positive thing, not sure what to call it.

Thanks Sameer.
Jenny

i believe you gave me the 30c at one point. I'm pretty sure.

See page 15?

Thank you Sameer. I will take it later today when I get home.

Hi Sameer,

I'm trying to remember symptoms w/o looking at my notes here so bear with me...


Physically:

- allergies flared up a bit, just itchy eyes and sneezing

- physical energy improved enough for me to work out again.

- had some short lived menstrual cramps

- shortness of breath increased a bit. this is from Babesia i believe.

- pain in inner pelvis area. think skin where the legs meet the hips on the inside. I get this if i don't drink enough water to get toxins moving. I've been drinking my usual gallon of water a day though, so i am not sure what to attribute this to.


Mentally:
mental symptoms were unusual for me.

- i did gain a bit more mental energy, enough to stay at work for longer amounts of time. however, i felt and still feel non-emotional.

on friday I had fun at a work party for a couple hours and then I found out that a friend's aunt died. I had sympathy for him and his family but I honestly didn't feel like being overly attentive to him/that situation. He is not attentive to what I go through on a regular basis so I just decided non-emotionally to let him handle that situation on his own. I felt like a b*tch which was a little unsettling because I felt a little robotic.

- Saturday I went to work for a couple hours and was talkative and enjoyed the short time there. I was friendly and outgoing with all the customers. When I got home I don't know what happened, but i got annoyed with my ex very noticeably. He texted wondering what I was going to do for the day and I think I was annoyed because I feel like he always wants to do the same thing as usual, which is be non social and hang out at one of our houses.

I really can't put my finger on what was bothering me about it, I know I haven't spoke of him in a while, because we get along now. He even wants to settle down with me and be together, even open to having kids which was the complete opposite of when I wanted those things with him.

Now, I'm not sure if thats the best idea and I've tried to tell him that but it's like he wants to talk to me EVERY DAY. It feels like he tries to keep me on a short leash but it's been smothering me. Because I still love and care for him, I haven't really tried to address it in a blunt hurtful way because I don't want to hurt his feelings. Bottom line, I want to progress in my health and my life and move out of my parents house, be stable and support myself. I don't feel like he is up for any progression or if he is, I don't know.

Anyway, to wrap this part up, which is significant... I was blunt with him in how I was feeling and I was so matter of fact/cold/nonchalant, it wasn't like me. I hurt his feelings, he hung up. I laid there completely non reactive. I didn't cry but I didn't have good feelings over what was happening. He called back and he took what I said to the extreme and pretty much all day I was wondering if I was doing the right thing.

It's ironic and sad that two people who genuinely care for each other switch roles the way we have. When I wanted more in the relationship, he put it off or rejected it. Now he wants more from me and I really can't forget the fact that he broke up with me when he couldn't handle my emotions. Now I can't handle his emotions and neediness. It's not healthy for me or him to 'need' the other.

Yesterday i was in bed and a bit listless most of the day. I cried here and there but it wasn't a bawling. It was a raw sadness because I have a man I love and that loves me back but we can't seem to get it together to make a good life.

I also cheated on my diet and had pizza and ice cream and was up till 3 am watching documentaries and comedy trying to keep my mind off it. But it affects me deeply. I don't know if I am shutting down my emotions so that it's not as unpleasant or if I'm dealing with the situation better because of Ignatia.

Whatever it is, I hope I did the right thing. I've been living in denial about that situation for a while now. It's like a got a backhand from reality. This is what I was trying to avoid, splitting from him and hurting him and myself. This is a very painful thing for me to deal with. It's hard to put my foot down. Feeling like a victim is an easy way out but I am not a victim here. And I can't manipulate the situation to make it work for me if its not best for the both of us.

I'm trying to be productive today in spite of what happened and in spite of my feelings. I just don't even feel like talking to anyone yet, not about this anyway.
[message edited by jenny57401 on Sun, 28 Aug 2011 16:05:03 BST]

Hi Sameer,

Physically has been a little worse. Acne worse on my face and chest, trying not to pick at anything. I had a little more energy to do some of my exercising and treatments even though I was very tired. Had nausea on first day of dosing. Itchy eyes. 2nd day I was pretty tired, had diarrhea, was sneezy. I wasn't overly happy but I wasn't down in the dumps, I think I was maintaining some level of sanity considering some of the upheaval in relationships I've been feeling. 3rd day I had nausea from Cabbage Juice. Was tired again, had menstrual cramps (DAY 24 of cycle) and had tender breasts. Yesterday my breasts were tender too, and today. My organs were painful today like I had toxins building up. Had to drink lots of water to get that to go away. Yesterday I had 1 movement, today up to 3 so far and they are formed, not like at beginning of dose. Fatigue is better today, had one coffee (first one all week).

Mentally, I've been alright. Like I said, not overly happy or down, i'm just trying to keep my emotions balanced in the middle. I know that it's a week before my period and I'm prone to mood swings. Given the relationship confusion with my ex that happened last week I am very much trying to not get too emotional about it or anything.

Since dosing, I've put smiley faces as how my days went. (so I can remember if it was a good day or not).

Still though, I'm being cautious. I dislike mood swings. They are draining.

Also had pretty vivid dreams. Even dreamed about someone I never talk to and the next day they messaged me out of the blue. Last nights dream was my brother was driving a car on a mountainous curvy road. I was a little nervous but I tried to enjoy the scenery. Can't remember much else.

OH...PS... my blood lab came back as negative for H.Pylori. Not sure how accurate this test is but I'm gonna agree with it. I had tested positive for this last year and treated it with abx for 2 weeks.

Thanks Sameer,
Happy Labor Day weekend!
[message edited by jenny57401 on Fri, 02 Sep 2011 21:28:40 BST]

Hi Sameer.

Results were pretty obvious.

Face and chest broke out with acne like crazy. Breasts very tender around day 27 of cycle still, having some menstrual cramps and breast tenderness day (day 30)--almost a full week of tender/full breasts. even had a dream about it yesterday! ha.

Mentally I've been good. A bit tired but maintaining. Yesterday I felt like the effects were starting to wear off though (took the last dose on Friday evening. So I had a good 3 days following that.

Today is not a bad day, just not as great as I was and the acne seems to be dying down. Still fatigued though. My sleep is broken, i wake up a lot but fall back to sleep right after.

Will await your direction.
Thank you Sameer.

Hi Sameer.

It's day 32 or 33 of my cycle and I got my period today. Cramps are few. Seems like I had them off and on leading up to today, day 1. Breasts were more tender and full for longer than normal.

My skin is still someone of a wreck with acne.

I'm very sneezy and I haven't been really all around my cat much at all. Every time i pet her I was my hands.

pretty fatigued, but in decent mood.
Happy tomorrow is friday :)

Just bumping up with a short update.
Thanks!

hi. today ended not good. or at least it didn't feel good.

i drew a picture for a competition. turns out the other person drew the photo better. mine was 'too perfect'. the other person's was more life like and realistic. i've always been told i'm really good even though i didn't feel like i was. I wonder if i draw in the same way i try to run my life. i try to find a way to make everything perfect. i wish i could just relax. i'm so tired of not being relaxed with myself. i don't even know how to do that. and i want to. anyway, i just sat and cried all night.

i hope ur ok haven't heard from you in a while. -jenny

Hi Sameer,

did all the doses you recommended.

very tired right now so this will be short.

the remedy worked well for three days continuously.

acne on face and chest got VERY bad. It's quite annoying really.

mentally i have been better than before dosing with ignatia.

however the last 3-4 days i've had troubles falling asleep and i dont ever sleep for long. so i'm super tired but feel unresolved or like i'm just not getting anything done because i have aches and pains and am tired.

so while i feel like ignatia really worked well, seems like its wearing off and when it does wear off i go a little mentally downhill.

OH... but I did book a plane ticket :)
I'm going to Boston in October 21st for a protest. I was starting to obsess over where to sit in the plane to be the safest. After a while i said *F* it. If god wants me to fall out of a plane, i'm not gonna worry about it. I'm sure I'll still be nervous about flying, but i'm really trying to work on not worrying.

Pathakms99,

I think over the last 2 years I've given Sameer a decent amount of information including medical history starting from birth. Some of that was shared via email and didn't make it on to the forum, but I trust Sameer has the knowledge he needs to find the proper solution.

I've had illness since birth along with mental maladies such as fear, mostly a fear of abandonment or feeling a lack of security as early as I can remember (4 years old). My random illnesses and emotional states became more prominent and physically hurtful particularly over the last 8 years. There are no overnight solutions with chronic illness. The mental improvements I've experienced over the last 2 years working with Sameer have been noticeable however slow the progress may be. Essentially we are trying to uncover and reverse 27 years of unhealthy patterns in the body and mind. No small task.

If you are interested, Sameer may still have the medical history I provided him via email and he has my permission to share my case with you if he wishes to do so.

Sameer, I assume the first LM2 dose receives no hits? Correct me if I am wrong.

Thank you much :)

Hi Sameer,

LM2 doses went well.

After the 2nd dose around the 2nd day (i think it was last Saturday)... I had just finished at work and later in the evening i got really depressed over my health and life in general.

I worked 35 hours that week! This is the most I've worked in a long time. Usually I can get near 30, i think I just over did it, put a lot of pressure on myself.

After I dosed again the following day, things improved again. My face is starting to clear up but my chest and back have a small breakout.

I'm using the bathroom quite a bit less. Overall my energy is down but I'm doing alright mentally.

The only things bothering me really are loud voices or noises especially when I'm trying to talk or do something. I'm preferring silence and for the most part to be alone, but I'm not ignoring phone calls or texts unless I just don't feel like talking to that person.

I am having dreams of planes, but the last one I had wasn't really scary or anything. I was with a bunch of my friends in some weird/different kind of plane that flew differently than a regular kind. It was kind of fun. But...this doesn't mean I'm ecstatic about my flight coming up next month :p

I am trying to do a little emotional work here and there whenever fears arise.

Doing what I can...


Oh, forgot...I'm having fevers around 99.5 in the evening only, just the last couple days. I thought it was because it was hot outside, but I was inside at the time it occurred yesterday.

Thanks Sameer.
J

Dear Sameer,

I dosed once.

Acne increased, neck and joint pain increasing, sore throat, fevers are more constant, heat flashes.

Today at work i was VERY VERY irritable. Loud noises bothered me I had to walk out. I was even irritable at home at the tv for not working. i relaxed and watched movies once i got it to work.

but my sneezing is out of control today. runny nose, but plugged on one side always.

very very irritated. I thought I would report this in case it is an adverse reaction.

Last night my dream was strange too. I had insomnia for 2 hours, finally got to sleep. in the waking hours of today I had a dream of visiting my old childhood home. But when i got inside there it was so creepy! the owners were nice, but weird, there was no sunlight, everything was dark and horrible looking. they gave me a tour and it was SUCH an uncomfortable place i felt like i was in danger and had to escape. the walls were so thin i busted through one by accident and i frantically made my way out and ran as fast as i could away from the house thinking i never ever ever wanna be back there again. the owners weren't seemingly upset over my actions, but they were a bit annoyed at the hole they had to fix to make their perfect house perfect again. creeps! i have no idea where that dream came from but it struck me as very odd. especially with the onset of all these physical symptoms.

Breasts are also tender its around day 24 of my cycle and I'm having some menstrual cramps (minor).

I'm set to dose again on Tuesday, let me know if you still want me to.

It would be great to take the day off tomorrow, i have been overworking myself. last week i worked 32 hours, the week before that, 35. haven't been this irritable in a while but at least I'm recognizing it and overall I'm really focusing on the progress i've made vs what's 'wrong'.

my nose is just so IRRITATED! so is my skin apparently. feels gunky.

let me know what you think, thank u.