Could any Dr. help me with fears of flying/heights? _{Page 8 of 33}

Hi Sameer

Reporting 3 weeks after puls 1M dose


1st Week:

-the 3 days after taking it, every morning i would develop a low grade fever just after taking my morning shower. don't know if this was from calc or puls or something unrelated.

-my menses started after day 33. this is earlier than last months 36 day cycle. it lingered lightly but longer..lasting 6 days even though the last 2 days were very light. breasts were swollen a week before starting cycle.

-i was having very loose stools in the morning. diarrhea for a good week after dose.

-acne worsened, on face and chest-back acne has stayed away mostly, itchy flaky scalp, itchy skin, overall achy muscles, congested feeling--pressure and heat relieves this temporarily, eyes were still very raw and red, swollen.

-overall mentally i had slowly improved by the end of the week.



2nd Week:

-most physical symptoms remained, some intensified, but none went away.

-i have been working a lot more hours, the internship has turned into a real job now, which i love. I will keep both jobs.

-mentally i was pretty happy and good, feeling less dependent. perhaps felt a little lonely on one night but i quickly adjusted my feelings about it and look to positive things.

-overall, clear mental improvement this week.



3rd Week:

-from the 17th to the 20th i was feeling pretty happy and overall good and busy-- i didnt record any of my symptoms, no major changes.

-only negative mental symptom i noticed is that i seemed to have insomnia a bit at night. the days are busy and i like being busy. difficulties switching into relax mode. not for a lack of being tired.

-acne on chest improved this week, acne on face is lessening but still more than id like. more of a desire to pick at face on puls than on calc. after taking calc, acne was a bit better.

-overall much better mentally, a definite improvement. Even my bf and close friends have expressed happiness about the positive changes they've seen in me.


The dreams have been a bit different as well. One extremely vivid dream i had this week was me at my old childhood home. the house was empty and a killer with knives as hands was there 'sleeping' on my couch hidden under a pile of blankets, but i knew he was awake and so i went to find my mom. we looked for my dad's gun and i wrote her a note that read 'Let's kill him.' as to not wake him up. I went back to where he was to shoot him but he was gone. i then noticed my mom was gone as well. i went outside and they were there, he held her hostage. i aimed to shoot but nothing but gas came out the gun. the killer saw this and came walking towards me, i knew i was screwed. i kept trying to shoot bullets but he grabbed a hold of me from the back and i could feel the knives start to stab thru my chest. i remember thinking im gonna die and then i thought, i dont want to die and i wont let this happen. so i turned to shoot him where his mouth was open and the gas that came out of the gun was poisonous. it was the most dramatic ending of the killer dying in slow motion like a movie. i felt like this was a positive meaning even if it was a scary dream at first.

i also dreamed about my first and 2nd boyfriends which i havent done in a while. i spit in the 1st bf's face when i saw him. I could sense a strong dislike and resentment toward him in the dream.

i had a plane dream as well, again haven't dreamed about them in a while. i was in a small plane, nervous and screaming as the pilot made quick turns and dives. but i soon figured whether we crash or dont crash i have no control and to just enjoy as much as possible. after that, i was flying without a plane. and it was fun, just a small sense of nervousness and uncertainty.

i still wake up around 3ish am. only a few times it frightened me a little bit but i thought about other things and went back to sleep.


Overall, this remedy seems to be very helpful. I am still physically very achy and even today on day 18 of my cycle my breasts are starting to become tender. but, i do not feel mentally affected by this besides at times annoyed.

i keep thinking maybe ill break another fever like with the 30c dose. just because i didn't do that with this dose, does that mean anything?

Let me know what you think when time allows.

thank you Sameer.

Also, about half way through the 3 weeks i read through all of the 25 polychrests on the site you gave me once. i picked out about 8 that i thought fit me. then i read through them multiple times after at different times in the day. narrowed it down to lycopodium, nat mur, and rhus tox. of course i trust your opinion more than what little i know about homeopathy. just wanted to note i identify with these remedies based on what i read in the polychrest info.

jenny

Sounds good. Thank you Sameer. I will order and let you know when i have them with me or if any major changes occur till then.

Jenny

Hi Sameer,

Today i got a bit annoyed in the afternoon when getting a massage. I am not sure why. every little thing i was critical of, mostly that the therapist was not doing good enough. he is older and in poor health and he almost disgusts me at times. i feel bad for thinking so because he is a nice guy. I even had a dream about how irritable i get, i do not even like to get massage from him or work on him anymore and we have been trading for over a year. My eyes got severely itchy today again and have rubbed them raw/red and they are swollen. more sneezing and sinus congestion. When speaking with my close friend about why i get so angry he made an observation that i am obsessed about how i feel. id say he is right, though i do not know how i got this way. but i got defensive and frustrated. would like to no be so obsessive over how i feel, emotionally and physically.

Hi sameer,
Got my droppers of puls today, LM1 and 2.

Since last post i was overall a lil bit more down than i had been after the last dose of puls. but just yesterday things started to look up mentally. I think i am learning how to communicate better and overall i am a bit less into my own feelings or thinking they are super important. my breasts are still a bit tender and have been for over 9 days now. no period yet, its day 27 of my cycle, though yesterday i had cramps as if i were about to get period. i felt like i was irritable and impatient the last few days, even wanting to post here but i realized i should continue to wait and be patient. feeling better now and glad i waited. physically overall very achey and run down. i just got a massage and already my back is bothering me. at times i think my pains have originated from uncontrollable emotions in past that i didn't know how to deal with. so i try to address emotions when i have physical pain. sometimes it helps, sometimes i get more confused. overall...still doing alright, was starting to feel like the last dose had run its course. definite improvement seems to be holding even with a few flair ups in between.

Let me know what the next step is.

Thank you,

Jenny

bumping up
eyes still very red/raw/burning/dry.
acne on face and chest worse again.

also, after i posted last night, my first bf messaged me online out of the blue. this is unusual as its been understood i never want to talk to him again, and we haven't spoken in years. he is the first bf i had lost my virginity to when i was 16/17. he also turned me on to iv drugs like meth and oxy contins and stole $2,000 from me--the money and lying issue was the most sore for me. he later went on to have a baby with my best friend at the time. that really enraged me that she would be so stupid after all she knew about him. there was bad blood there for quite some time. me and her are friends again (we made up just recently) and have put that past behind us and hang out every now and again. i honestly thought i had forgiven him as well, though there has never been any real confrontation. recently i did have that dream recently about him where i spit in his face-didnt give it much thought at the time. i still thought i was overall 'over it'.

when he contacted me last night i was more enraged that he had the balls to attempt a casual conversation like i should have forgotten by now. after i was blunt with him, he was overly apologetic but i dont believe him. he has a serious problem on all levels - unrelated to me. it bothered me above all that it seemed to STILL bother me after all these years. i think its good this happened so i can face some emotions i thought were dealt with. there is a large amount of rage involved- it is clear from how i behaved in reaction to him in the past. i almost just want to get in his face and yell the truth out of him so i understand how someone can be that way. i know its not my job to understand though. i am realizing that it was never him i hated, it was me that i am more upset with now for letting him still affect me. perhaps this is the puls helping me think more clearly especially on this subject. either way, all the studying on my case you have done, i couldnt be more grateful to you. i see a positive change and i believe there are more to come.

Thank you sameer.

Hi Sameer,

This last week, Physically overall about the same. Not the best. My period came after 31 days. This is better than last month of 33 days and the month before was 36 days. The mood swings the week before were a little less severe. The cramps were, however, worse than usual and lasting 2 days instead of just one. today is day 3 and the flow has gone down significantly. breasts are not swollen anymore, but this month were swollen for more than 2 weeks prior to period.

the eyes have not improved. one day they were so raw people though i had been hit in the eye. looked like i had a black eye underneath the left eye. they itch, are red, they are not really dry its like eczema around eyes that wont go away. I dont know if this is related (as the eye thing is a new symptom) but 2 years ago when i moved back home people and myself noticed my eyes seemed to age and i looked very tired. even when id get alot of rest they looked old and bags underneath. when my eyes have a good day now and i dont itch them-- they look more rejuvenated i think. don't know what to think of this.

the only symptom that has really improved physically is the red itchy flakes on scalp but i have switched shampoos to something with high zinc level in it. the scalp still itches and overall my skin is a bit itchy. acne is still bad. so are aches and pains.

Mentally, still overall a bit better. The need for consolation is diminished, i console myself if i feel like i need some. Trying to address rigid/stiff thinking when i notice my achey/stiff muscles. I was a bit irritable a couple days, nothing extremely major and intense like before, but noticeable.

There was a dream where i came across a plane wreckage. I didn't see any dead bodies. just wreckage. Just last night i was watching a tv special on plane crash survivors. i felt the need to watch the show even though it was graphic. its like i cant avoid watching these kinds of things. when i heard the survivors stories i even got tearful and felt the need to break down as though i could feel what they felt when they described their feelings of relief being rescued and surviving. I identified with their loss, guilt, and happiness and despair when they faced letting go and moving on from the incident. i did not break down and cry, but tears were present and the feeling of wanting to was there. that night i had a dream of someone in a single seat plane crash. we tried to save him and dig the plane out of the sand. we recovered limbs and realized he was still alive. i couldnt handle the scene or the thought of what his life will be like. so i walked away and literally into another dream.

i still notice a spike in temperature after getting out of the shower on certain days. overall quite fatigued lately but i attribute it to the period and the fact i have been doing more cardio activity. felt like i could have mono again but i haven't gotten tested.

do you think these are good signs?

Thank you sameer :)

Jenny

Hi Sameer,

It's been 4 days since LM1 dose.

Physically:

I've noticed that my stools have become a lighter color, a light brown. i had a loose stool a few hours after taking dose. since then i take only one in the first half of day, soft/formed. Yesterday there was a streak of blood in it. no discomfort and i didnt eat anything red.

My eyes are a bit less itchy, ive lessened the amount of salve i put on them and i noticed they started scabbing over and becoming rough in upper lid and lower lids both sides.

headaches off and on. i normally dont get headaches too often.

the day of dose was the beginning of day 4 of period. it was almost non existent. didnt need to wear anything. day 5 was the same, period was over. day 6, seemed like i had dull cramps and a light brown discharge today and yesterday.

overall physically nothing out of the ordinary. ive been eating terribly. lots of junk (doughnuts, sweets, breads) I took dose right in the morning of the 10th. it was my mother's birthday and we went out to eat that night. i had a margarita and mexican food. food made me feel nauseous. i forgot i couldnt have alcohol because i very rarely drink so i dont think of it as something to restrict. i hope the drink did not interfere with remedy.

dreams were filled with family, friends, some feelings of inadequacy, seeking for approval, and a familiar location i've dreamed of before (not familiar in real life) some parking lot where people take breaks outside. no planes. recurring shopping dream at the mall of america.

overall mentally, fairly well, but different. it is hard for me to describe. there is a shift in my attitude but its hard to pinpoint what has shifted. i suppose i have become more aware of my need for approval from others. specifically family and friends. i've been a little irritable but nothing out of control and the entire time i was acting irritable i knew exactly what i could do to change my actions. i was also not disrespectful so outwardly it may not have appeared i was as irritable as i felt on the inside. There were moments today i started to feel jaded, had feelings of giving up control, and then i reminded myself its best to give up control when motivated by joyful feelings. joyful because it's not my job to control things that are out of my control. it seems im bouncing in between some old habits of thought and new thoughts that are trying to form into habits. for example: feelings of dependency. there have been lots of evaluations by me of the way i think of things and deal with situations and why i have certain feelings. had insomnia last night. i feel a bit addicted to sugar and caffeine since i had to cut back these few days because of dose.

i have been very busy this week with both jobs and new clients.i am not sure what to think of these new feelings and thoughts so i have been careful not to label them as anything. i value your opinion, please let me know what you think.

hope all is well with you, Sameer. and Thank you.

Jenny

Hi Sameer

Mentally not good. started on saturday with irritability. became angry, depressed, confused, feelings were hurt easily, crying, felt inferior, jealous, low self esteem, really really sad. I lashed out at bf and i am still a bit confused as to how i should act with him. he is so frustrated with me i dont know how to even attempt to communicate at this point. He thinks nothing is ever good enough for me. i thought i had a good reason for being irritable but i think he is right. and now i feel like im not fit to be with anyone. i cried uncontrollably on sunday and i don't even know why. i dont want to be fighting with him anymore but i am too stubborn to put forth anymore effort. i feel like giving up, and to some degree, i have.


Physically overall not a lot has changed. my eyes are drying out and flaky, i dont put anything on it anymore but they are still rough and scaly. my endurance when running is improving. i feel like ive been having occasional cramps as if i had period. they come and go. bowels are moving regularly. achy overall from inactivity. not drinking enough water or really taking care of myself the last few days.

ps. took lm1 dose as you advised around 9am on saturday.

Thanks,
Jenny

just bumping up.
feeling a little calmer today mentally.
hope all is well with you.

jenny

hello, i hope everything is very good with you. i do not mean to bug you as i know you have a personal life and many patients.

just bumping up and informing you i will be going out of town for about 3 days and may be without internet. i wonder what you advise with dosing, or do you recommend i wait? i am feeling better mentally but physically a bit wore down again overall. and in particular, my left eye has flared up again with the redness, looks like ive been punched in the eye. on the mental front, i think i am overcoming some long standing feelings of guilt and feel closer to forgiving myself and moving forward. but, the physical tension/pain/muscles tightness is still quite intense.

thank you very much! i do not worry so much about the physical stuff as i believe your expertise will cure me eventually.

have a very good weekend :)

Hello Sameer,

Just reporting back to hear from you on how to proceed.

Mentally, overall alright. Physically, no improvement yet. But I don't feel like it's beating down on my emotions as i know it can at times. It's nothing i feel is unbearable at this moment as i have high hopes that it will be cured one day. My dreams have not been leaving a lasting impression. No planes are involved at all, mostly family stuff and friends and current event type things that were on my brain from the day before.

Will await your reply whenever you have time, i hope all is well :)

Jenny

I should ask before waiting a week... does it matter if I use filtered bottled water that gets delivered to my house? I'm guessing it is not 'spring.' I usually purchase a single spring water bottle when taking remedies but this time i used the water in my home. also, the LM1 bottle was in my purse a few days following my last LM1 dose. i dont think it was terribly shaken while in there, and I have no idea if this matters.

thank you Sameer.
Jenny

Hello Sameer,

I think there was progress this week. Please correct me if I'm wrong.


Mentally:

In beginning of week, got a little more teary eyed than usual. even over things i thought were good things, like improved communication with my bf. After the last dose i had become very emotional and pushed him away with my attitude. I responded by accepting responsibility and even though i felt i had good reasons for being upset, i still gave up whatever control i thought i should have over the situation. communication since then has been great. even if its not great at times, im not as emotionally attached to ideas of being right, or expectations that are not fulfilled.

Also, for the first time, I've been having thoughts of how i would react if i had to fly. there has been a sense of calmness and no fear. I dont feel 'fixed' but this surprised me and i hope this is the start of more similar feelings to come. I have been growing a sense of inner strength, especially after hearing from a professor i have consulted with in India. He stated that my health concerns show to be persistent and will remain undiagnosed. at first, this was disappointing, but then i found a great deal of empowerment in it. what i have been going through with your help alone has proven to show progress, however slow it may be. I am pleased and it felt good to not 'worry' about what someone else's opinion was. Instead of doubting myself over what others think, I am starting to listen to myself without guilt or 2nd guessing.

Again, I do feel that i am still on a bit of a see-saw in ways, but nothing compared to the irrational emotions like months ago.


Physical:

-swollen tender breasts (started day 19 of cycle)
-eyes are getting better. still itchy, but improving.
-very sensitive teeth when brushing.
-acne is the same pretty much. it has its ups and downs.
-a bit more tired. this could be from running and work.
-the last two days, very tense muscles even after massages. it almost seems like itd be better if i didnt get massages.
-2nd time ovulating around day 19-21. or it feels like im ovulating, cramp-like feelings and extra discharge.
-Overall, a bit uncomfortable physically still but nothing im not used to and cant manage.
-i am able to run further without stopping. I ran a little over a mile today without stopping. took me 12 minutes or so but this is much better than what i started out as. my lungs have always had a terribly low capacity.
-stretching is pretty unbearable and if i push myself enough i will be brought to tears. i avoid stretching because of this or at least, i avoid the most uncomfortable poses.

Dreams were a bit different starting out. only dreamed of things crashing once, which was last night. No one died or was injured. It wasnt even a real plane it was almost like a kite holding 3 people. the other accident, i was in a car with family, driving up an overpass, like a hill, and the car fell backwards because it was so steep. i screamed because ithought i was injured but saw i was not.

there was another interesting one where there was a shoot out between me and this girl. no one got shot in the battle. later, as i was outside, the girl came over to my house. i recognized her and grabbed a gun just incase. she offered to 'make up' and we hugged and became friends. I gave her a ride to the airport. ( i used to work at the airport doing security in san diego and jacksonville ) this was Jax airport i was at in dream. I thought this shoot out might represent my struggle with change and becoming friends with the idea of change. it isnt something i have to 'fight.' There were a lot of other random dreams, most of which i was too tired in the morning to remember clearly enough.


Are these emotional and physical reactions what you have been thinking would happen?? Just curious.

Thank you so much, will await your reply whenever you get time.

Jenny