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Could any Dr. help me with fears of flying/heights? Page 30 of 33

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Can I please get some more details on the mental/emotional state ?

Talk more about

--No spark
--No motivation
--Withdrawing from conversations.
sameervermani 8 years ago
I just feel like on a regular basis, I've always been hopeful of things improving for me. Lately I feel like I'm on this hamster wheel and I have no idea if I'm brave enough to get off, and once I'm off I'm afraid I will not be able to support myself as far as my health, my income. I know i've made progress health wise, but I kind of feel lost again, like I'm back to the beginning. When I have pain killers to help ease inflammation, it helps me feel better, and then I feel better mentally, but I know they aren't the ideal solution, and definitely not the long term solution. But with the workload (40 hours at my job) plus an extra 13 hours of school, plus freelancing design, plus trying to figure out how to get off the hamster wheel, plus doing typical mundane chores anyone must do (laundry, cleaning, cooking, etc), I feel like I'm failing at all of them. I have little time to exercise, and I just want to give up. Ultimately, I will have to give up something, but if I give up my 40 hours, I lose my health insurance bonus which helps with 1/3 of the monthly costs for private health insurance. If I cut back on freelancing, it's like I'm saying to myself I can't make money doing freelancing so I stick with my safe secure job. I have no doubts I'll do well in school, but i feel so overwhelmed with everything else, that it's not my main focus. And I haven't even mentioned having a social life. When I get like this, I don't even feel like replying to people in texts or calls or talking in person. Because it's like I know what I have to do, talking to someone about it rarely makes things better, its just another bandaid to make it feel like I'm not falling apart. I know that pushing all my people away from me isn't the answer, but I'm not sure how to handle the relationship aspects when I thrive on them. And thats why I feel like the spark is gone. I just don't know how to handle this. I made it to work 15 minutes late and I've had a fairly ok day, but I also started my day with Tramadol and Bing energy drink. I am so afraid to be without those crutches because I guess deep down I feel like I can't handle this work load and school load and life, without them. Which makes me dislike myself for not being strong enough to not need them.

Hope that makes sense. I honestly think that I got food poisoning at the fair. I had awful seafood at a greek place and since then all I was eating went straight through me. The food inspector even gave it a huge thumbs down, which I found out about after i ate there. I dont know what else would have caused that kind of reaction for 4 days.

One last thing, I think part of my problem of feeling down has been that my lyme doctor let me go. I felt like she didn't know much anyway, and most of the things I've done to improve my health are what have helped me, not necessarily her expertise, but it still has hurt me to a degree. I trust you with the homeopathy because frankly, it's so involved that I believe you know way more than I do on the topic. I don't question you like I did her. With Lyme, I feel like I could have treated myself with her approach, but yet she was expecting me to check in with her monthly, faithfully forking over my hard earned money, for what? For her to give me a few measly mg's of 3-4 medications? For her to suggest we do stuff that I already knew about? But now that I don't have her as an option, I ask myself what is wrong with me? Are my feelings about how much I think I know the truth? Did I hurt myself by not listening better? Or did I do the right thing by not agreeing to continue with someone I felt wasn't giving me what I needed. I guess I feel confused as to what will get rid of this pain and fatigue. Maybe it's as simple as not worrying. But no matter how much I've improved at that, it seems like I teeter in between the old me and the new me that is trying so hard to emerge and take over. The physical pain is getting to be so difficult to manage with this work load. So essentially, I will need to give up something. Figuring out what that will be is what I'm battling with. And I'm just tired of the battle. I just want to enjoy life without so much effort on my part. Without a false sense of enjoyment from pain killers and caffeine.

Sorry for the book,
Thanks Sameer.
jenny57401 8 years ago
Hi Sameer, Sorry for the Yo-Yo posting here. But this seems significant.

I laid in bed last night thinking about cutting back on hours at my job. I fell asleep thinking about it. During the night I had a dream about flying in a plane. It was a 2 seater and I was in control of the plane, not even nervous that I can remember. I can only remember 2 other dreams I've flown myself. I took this as a signal that I'm ready to be less afraid of being in full control. So today, I sat down with management and explained to them over the course of the next month, I will be cutting down my full time work hours to 30.

I feel like a huge weight has been lifted. I look forward to saving as much money in the coming month of full time, and I'm hoping for a 4 day work week for the rest of the year, giving me time to focus on health, school and my future.

Acne is still bad, scalp psoriasis is still bad and I'm skinny as a rail, but I am feeling a little better about the future.

I also plan to make a cooking schedule to make sure I don't neglect eating, especially at work.

Thanks Sameer, I think maybe I was resisting the effects of Pulsatilla dose. Not sure really, but I think it's time I made a decision that is healthier for me, no matter how unstable it feels to do so.
jenny57401 8 years ago
Hi Jenny,

Let's shift gears here a little bit. I want you to take just 1 dose of Mercurius Solubilis 30c in 500 ml spring water. This remedy is available at whole foods.

Report in 5 days after that.

sameervermani 8 years ago
Ok. No Whole Foods in town, I will have to wait until I go to the cities next Friday. Thank you thank you.

jenny57401 8 years ago
Just read about Merc Sol. I 100% agree.

Just last June when I went to a special chiropractor in the cities (he is something like a spiritual intuitive with patients who he knows are open to that kind of thing, but just a chiropractor to those who aren't)

He said the reason I'm in so much pain and with this high level of chronic illness is not just because of the bacteria/virus/etc load that I carry, it's a result of me being an immature empath. And when he explained what an empath was to me I started crying.

When a person with a broken arm walks into a room, some people are sympathetic to their pain. But for me, I feel that persons pain without realizing it. I spend so much time in my head which is overloaded with so much data, I haven't learned how to operate from my non-data (heart) center.

I've always known I'm sensitive because people tell me so, but I never fully understood in which ways and what it actually meant.

This remedy makes perfect sense for me. And if it has anything to do with having mercury toxicity, I've definitely been exposed to my fair share in life.

When it comes to lessons of life, I'm slow to retain and USE what I've learned. Book wise, I've always been intelligent, but even as a child and teenager, reading and comprehension were always challenging and it showed on my testing scores. I excelled as a student in everything, especially math. English was never my strong suit, I always thought it was because I just wasn't able to focus. Theres so much information floating in my mind I didn't want to make time to understand. I wanted to do. but even when I DO things, there is so much mental labor I think needs to go into the task that I take much longer than necessary to do them. When I feel ok, I can usually be very productive, but not when I'm feeling less than my 'normal'. When i'm mentally down, it's very difficult to peel myself out of that mood. And, when I do it is short lived.

I confuse myself quite regularly so kudos, Sameer, for uncovering this.
I see that if this is part of a thick layer or constitution that resides in me, that allopathic medication is not the solution, in fact, quite the opposite.

I've made quite a few big decisions this last couple weeks. No more allopathic lyme doctor. Soon to be less hours at work. It is scary and I'm very hopeful at the same time. Reading more about this remedy makes me feel much less lost, and like I've made some good decisions.

Thank you Sameer,

jenny57401 8 years ago
Hi Sameer,

Checking in, it's been 6 days since I took a first dose of Merc Sol.

Overall, I did better mentally. My acne overall improved a bit, except after showers, it always appears like I have a lot more than normal, especially on my back and chest.

My pain and inflammation has increased quite a bit and I'm quite tired. But, I'm also still working full time.

There were a few weird things here and there. had diarrhea for a day before the remedy and a day or two after. Not major like when i caught a bug the few weeks prior.

Also, when I ate once while at work, I got very sick feeling. Like cold, so I put on a jacket but then got very hot and dizzy. I had to go to the bathroom and crouch down on the floor holding my head in order to pull myself together in order to work. It passed as quickly as it came. Other than that, I just had headaches more than usual.

Compared to last week, mentally, much better. I'm learning how to give more approval to others and to myself (instead of judging harshly) including approving of the pain and everything just as it is in my life. Instead of beating myself up, I try to send the negative emotion some love and approval, while giving it permission to leave. It has felt good to use this technique, although it has not been without challenges. Overall I found more motivation even while alone.

Yesterday I spent time cleaning and catching up on duties I've been neglecting. I also made time on Friday evening to create (made a necklace for a photography project) instead of going out with people.

Normally I do like to be around people, but I feel like I need to really focus on my goals in order to achieve them, and including people that are more involved in spending their weekends drinking, it's just not where I want to be.

For the next month while I'm making the transition from full time to part time, I've figured out I really need to focus my energy on non-social activities. For fun I will do things *I* want to do, not what other want me to do. It's usually as simple as reading or biking. I've been able to be much more positive than the last few weeks.

Oh, the chiropractor guy I go to that does muscle testing and adjustments on me, I asked him to muscle test the Merc sol remedy, he agrees it's a great match and that we will probably get all the way up to the M potencies :-)

Let me know how we should move forward. Thank you SOO much! for discovering this remedy!

jenny57401 8 years ago
Good. Please wait for 1 more week, and keep Merc Sol 200c at hand.
sameervermani 8 years ago
Hi Sameer. I've got 200c in hand. My allergies got worse the last few days, but it could be because of the increased dryness blowing ragweed around. There was an article in the paper about how most people have really bad hay fever this year. Mine isn't anywhere near as bad as a few years ago, just when I get around my cat who has been outside its aggravated.

Mentally, still doing ok but noticing a slight decline in motivation again.

Good news on the dream front, shortly after I last posted I had a couple odd dreams I've never really had before. Without going into too much detail, I interpreted the dream to mean I'm finally starting to incorporate more self love and acceptance.

Throat is still very sore in the morning. Everything is really worse in the morning physically. Mentally I'm worse at night and if I'm not careful it can trickle in to the next day.

I'm posting now because its the weekend, I'm hoping to be productive but so far it hasn't happened yet.

Let me know if you'd like me to dose or continue to wait.

Thank you sameer
jenny57401 8 years ago
Hi Jenny,

You can take the 200c dose now. Please dissolve 1 pellet in 500 ml spring water, and take a teaspoon please.

Report after 1 week.
sameervermani 8 years ago
Hi Sameer,
it's been a week since dosing.

i was running a fever when I took 200c, i continued to run a fever all week. I was so fed up physically, i had to take tuesday off work.

i actually made it really clear with my on/off boyfriend of 5 years that we would probably never work out if we didnt learn how to communicate better. On friday I basically told him we had to take some time apart.

i made good use of my time during the day, but my emotions dipped at night. I've been blowing up on certain people the last few days. Mostly people that I feel are a part of my past, the ones that can't communicate properly with me. I just figure what's the point in trying to struggle through conversations? If we don't mesh, we don't mesh.

I felt like i did make some pretty solid discoveries though. Through the turmoil over what to do about my boyfriend/ex, as I spoke to my friend about it, he asked me how my relationship is with my parents. I said good, they are nice people. what I felt i've been missing from all my relationships is an emotional connection, perhaps an emotional connection coupled with non sexual physical affection. My friend asked if i ever got hugs from my parents, I said no, we don't really do that. Maybe as kids we did.

Anyway, he suggested I try hugging my parents. I was originally against the idea but i said i'd do it. So that day i got home and my dad was on the phone so I bypassed him. i went inside and my mom was there, so i sat my stuff in my hands down and gave her an unsuspected hug. she was pretty accepting and that was good. when my father was free, i had a chance to go hug him, and i found myself completely frozen. it was the same kind of physically frozen that i would get when it comes to asking men in my life for what i feel i really need.

this really struck me as significant, so i went and told my friend. i could hug my mom, the person i thought i've had most issues with all my life, but not my dad, the easy going, solid, consistent rock in the family.

night time came, and i found myself in the kitchen where he also was, and he was actually available and striking a convo. the whole time we talked i was observing my inability to just go give him a hug. instead of trying, i asked him if HE ever got hugs as a kid. He said no, his family was pretty emotionally unavailable. He does remember one time, when he got married, his dad told him he was proud of him. this made me understand that my dad just never learned how to give that type of affection because he never had it. So, i initiated a hug and even though it was a little awkward, i felt accomplished, and i think it helped my parents as well. I told them that i would be giving them hugs regularly, on at least a weekly basis. and i did give them a hug this weekend, it was less awkward also!

i am still very sad about the way things are with my ex. i have decided it's best for us to be apart if we can't communicate w/o stress. i miss him though. i feel a little mad because he couldn't be what i needed, or that i couldn't be what he needed. maybe im just upset because i feel like i can't be good for anyone, including myself.

i had acne increase. my breasts are semi swollen as my cycle approaches.

these occurences have felt at times like positive changes, but at the same time they feel unsettling.

I'm on the brink of cancelling my health insurance and just treating myself naturally through healthy lifestyle, diet and what i've been doing with herbs and homeopathy. but i'm still a bit afraid. I feel like I'm on the edge of a cliff almost ready to jump, but still trying to find a better way down, or across to another cliff maybe.

At any rate, I was very fatigued, achy, and feverish all week. increased acne and in general worse at night mentally. Overall though, I think considering the drastic change i encouraged and instigated, and the way i've been handling it up to now, its better than my norm maybe. Considering I'm premenstrual.

Thanks Sameer,
jenny57401 7 years ago
Just updating. I'm thinking I might still need to wait. 200c's tend to take a while to see results in me I've noticed

I've been pretty hormonal the last few days. I managed to talk to my ex about things and we both agree us splitting is for the best. I'm not very sad anymore, maybe a little lonely but I'm getting used to all the changes. making the decision to not have anymore physical activity with him is a good thing for me.

There have been a lot of things going on with other friend relationships that have happened. i won't go into detail, but I've had a LOT of anger and rage, and when I just CAN'T be angry anymore, like last night, I just broke down in tears and cried so hard until i fell asleep. Lost one 'friend' over something really silly. However justified I was to be upset with the person, I didn't have to verbally rage towards him as i did. Apparently he couldn't take the heat. It bothered me for a day or two, but I realize I'm going through a huge transformation right now. Perhaps weeding out certain people will make room for the kind of people i do want in my life.

I don't know what's going on physically, but my breasts are swollen I've been running a fever (99.4) since before the 200c dose, and I am ZAPPED for energy. I left work early today and I don't plan on a full day tomorrow. I am seriously rebelling working for anyone right now. I just want rest and to do what I want to do. I've put my body through hell working FT and going to school, i think I just need the extra time to recuperate.

just wanted to update you. My period should be here any day. It's day 34 of my cycle, like I said, swollen breasts, moods fluctuating like crazy. It all feels very negative at times, but I know something is happening, something that will benefit me in the long run, at least that is my hopes.

Thanks Sameer, if I don't hear from you I'll just continue to wait until things seem to smooth out.

jenny57401 7 years ago
Okay, let's wait this week, and then we can re-asses.
sameervermani 7 years ago
Hi Sameer.

I had an amazing week mentally. I'm actually dealing very well with the break up of my ex. We are friends but I'm happy focusing on my studies and my own life, creativity, moving forward, etc.

I went to a women's spirituality conference that I really enjoyed. I went by myself, tried a lot of new things that involved stepping out of comfort zone. I went to a writing class where we shared some of our writings that we developed based off our dreams. I was proud of myself for volunteering to speak in front of the classes. This is not something I've really done ever. Usually I've been very judgmental of myself and was too shy to share in a class room setting.

I also got a lot of positive feedback from women there about how they loved my energy and me in general. This made me feel great. I noticed how very sensitive I am and how I can learn how to say yes to happy events and feelings, and say no to any negative emotions that either come my way from others, or negative emotions that seem to develop within myself. I am hopeful, feeling more courageous, and very proud of myself.

My skin has broken out a LOT. especially on my upper back, even on my shoulders. This started with merc. sol. This is the main thing I am noticing aside from my scalp psoriasis that is still persisting. My body temp is staying steady at around 98.4 which is above norm for me. So I take these all as good signs!

I had a period that lasted about 7 days. It started on day 36 which was a bit late for me.

I feel confident that these positive changes that have been occurring in the last couple weeks are a direct result of the merc. sol. Even though my moods and hormones were fluctuating a lot every time I've come into conflict with others, I have owned up to apologizing first and learning from the experience and moving on more easily than I ever have in my life. My stubbornness is something I am ready and willing to let go of. I'm learning to be more kind to myself instead of controlling.

While I am noticing areas of improvement and where I will continue to focus my attention on improving, REMEMBERING, I feel, will be the most challenging thing. I'm writing post-it notes and sticking them in places I go every day to help serve as reminders to stay on track with transforming my fears into fearlessness, and my conflicts into a time where I can transform my communication.

I'm looking forward to seeing more progress as I keep taking positive steps forward. Thank you Sameer!
jenny57401 7 years ago
Great !

Let's wait for another week. You know how to get hold of me whenever needed :)
sameervermani 7 years ago
Hey Sameer,
I know it hasn't been a week. I made some good decisions that were pretty 'pattern breaking' for me. I was supposed to go visit someone I knew wasn't good for me. Usually when I am alone, I want attention even if it isn't the good kind. I committed to not being with anyone for at least 6 months. So, I cancelled my plans. I'm glad I followed my intuition because he had some not nice things to say to me. So it was obvious he didn't care. It got me down briefly, but I know that it's because I'm choosing to be alone and it feels unstable for me, or unfamiliar. But I'm still proud of myself for making the right decision.

The reason I'm writing is that I am really super tired, I think mentally. I'm not so much discouraged, but I'm feeling extremely mentally drained and I feel like rebelling a little, like by not staying committed to things I've committed to. (i.e. work, plans, etc).

Still want me to wait?

Also, is Bach flower remedies homeopathic? Someone suggested I try them but it seems the way it's diluted that it would be a homeopathic.

Thanks Sameer,
jenny57401 7 years ago
Hi Jenny,

If this relapse continues for a few more days, you can go to a Merc Sol 1M single dose once it has been 4 weeks from the 200c dose.
sameervermani 7 years ago
Sounds good I'll get that and post when I receive it thank u!
jenny57401 7 years ago
Received remedy, not doing well mentally so ill dose today.
jenny57401 7 years ago
helo jenny i read your history. if u r well so thanks god. if your all probl still so used this medicine,s.

argentum,nitricum 1000c
1 day, 25 drops sip a water.

nux,vomica. 1000c
2 day 25 drops night time.

bryonia,alba. 1000c
3 day 25 drops morning time.

pulsatilla. 1000c
4 day 25 drops morning time.

kali,phos. 1000c
5 day 25 drops evening time.

5 day,s skip. and then start this circule.

only 2 circule rapeat. ok.
so tell me the report.

dr, badar baig.
doctorbadar9 7 years ago
Hi Dr. Badar,

I have been working with Sameer for a long time (or rather he has been so gracious to be working with me!). I have a pretty tough case with lots of layers and I'm committed to sticking with Sameer's classical approach. Merc. Sol. has been a very good remedy for me thus far and I'm confident in Sameer's abilities.

Thank you for your interest in my case, I'm just not familiar enough with blending remedies in such a way and I don't want to undo any progress I've made. Thank you again!
jenny57401 7 years ago
Hi Sameer,

Just updating, I've developed the beginning of a uti. The last time I got this was in January when I was very ill. Tho at that time I took allopathic medication (antibiotics and the pill that reduces pain and turns the urine orange)

I'm going to do my very best to avoid taking that as I do have leftovers. But I'm going to stay up drinking cranberry juice and herbal tea until I feel ok enough to go to sleep.

My breasts are a little tender and I'm on day 29 of my cycle. It did seem like I had a few cramps today but not sure if it was just pain from a brewing infection.

Not sure if this is a reaction from the merc sol 1M.

Mentally I'm ok, not bad for being premenstrual anyway. Thanks Sameer will keep you posted.
jenny57401 7 years ago
Ok I think I am thru the worst of it. No pharmaceutical meds used!! I just drank a lot of unsweetened cranberry juice, baking soda in some water and a couple cups of tea (marshmallow root to tame inflammation)

Perhaps it was partly merc sol and the fact I have been horrible at keeping up with water intake. Not sure but I'm glad the pain part subsided without meds.
jenny57401 7 years ago
Can't remember when you said to update I thought it was a week. The uti went away, I didn't take any meds for it. My period arrived today on day 34. Very little cramping. My breasts were swollen for a few days but my emotions were really a lot more tolerable. I was only a little irritable.

But!.... I completely quit all forms of caffeine AND I'm no longer taking vicoprofen for pain. I wasn't taking it a lot but it was a crutch of mine when I would feel down or needed motivation. Same with caffeine. I just decided I was done and I've been doing well with any cravings I might have. When I have them I just observe and understand where they are coming from which is usually a feeling of lack or inadequacy.

Also, I picked up a tai chi class! I'm taking more time to meditate and focus on the positive. With all the cleansing that's been going on my digestion is a little confused it seems. I'm going regularly, but I think there is just a lot going on because its sometimes winded. Maybe because I haven't been able to have a warming meal the last couple days due to my schedule.

Mentally I've been able to stay motivated even on days I'm tired. I had a few headaches this week, perhaps from quitting my last few crutches altogether. But I actually rested. Mentally and emotionally I'm doing much better than usual. I'm not overly happy but I'm accepting and content. I'm not crabby, I'm accepting and content. Much more balanced so far.

Just wanted to report as its been a week. I think these are good things :-)
jenny57401 7 years ago
Great going. Please continue to wait and update in another 10 days.
sameervermani 7 years ago
Will do. I forgot to mention the acne. has been much worse on back shoulders chest and face. Had a great weekend, went out in Minneapolis and had lots of fun. Will update as advised. Thanks!!

jenny57401 7 years ago

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