Could any Dr. help me with fears of flying/heights? _{Page 20 of 33}

Hope your holidays went well Sameer!

I am still waiting for LM5 and LM6. Just letting you know I will post as soon as they arrive.

Been ok mentally, for the most part. Crazy chocolate cravings, hair is getting more coarse. I can definitely tell that I'm missing Puls :( Super achey but I've been eating terribly this week. My holiday binge ends tonight!

Will post soon.
Thanks :)

WOW!! That took a reallllly long time to get here! I just now got my Pulsatilla LM5 and LM6 in the mail, and man, am I happy!!!

I can tell I've been without. My mental symptoms before my period were really severe. Lots of crying, feeling isolated, unloved etc. even had trouble sleeping, always waking up at 3 am again so slept with lights on. The last few days though I've been sleeping in the dark with no problems. my hormones seem to be leveling out.

I am off antibiotics right now. Skin is pretty clear, people comment on it. Not treating for lyme, treating with herbs for Parasites (just started). I tested positive for trichinella and borderline pos for roundworm. My weight dropped down to 113 last week, right now its 116 lbs.

I also have food allergy antibodies formed against soy, wheat/gluten, dairy, and eggs. For now I am cutting these out of my diet. I am eating mostly veggies, meat, coconut/rice milks, sardines/oysters, and some heated fruit in the mornings.

After a month of parasite treatment, I believe my lyme doc will treat for babesia (a blood parasite) which is a co-infection of lyme. I've been out of breath and having double vision/dizziness even while standing or getting up. Also, fevers are regularly fluctuating into the 99.0-99.5 range, then going back down to 98.0 or so. This is higher than the usual 96.8 i use to keep. my feet and hands are always cold, but it is minus 6 degrees outside.

Last month my period/cycle was 30 days long, it came right on the 15th. this month, it's long cycle again, its day 32-33 or so right now and no period yet. already went through the emotional roller coaster a week ago and swollen breasts a few days ago. I have some fibroid cyst concern, i suspect in the breast or uterus.

I worked 37 hours last week. energy and attitude is overall better, but i still am tremendously achy, getting back into yoga for exercise 3 times per week.

The only things weighing on my mind lately is the cost of all my treatments. I also have a wedding to attend in San Diego at the end of April. I wanted to be a healthier weight (at least 125). And I find I'm wanting to control things like my plane ride, plans with people, cost of hotels, things like that. But, i KNOW that those things are out of my control, and that i just need to relax and focus on helping myself get better and be independent, not worrying about bills, and not afraid of LIFE.

Awaiting my long anticipated dose of LM5!

Also, they sent me a 'healing cream 5%' I didn't order it and they didnt charge me. think its ok to use?

Thank you Sameer! Oh how I missed my homeopathics!

Jenny

Oh, PS... I would love to take any homeopathic you recommend. it has been a while I just realized you may suggest something else other than Puls...

Thanks!

Sorry...it has been so long i forgot to mention things i'm taking other than the parasite treatment.

My lithium levels were really low, so I'm supplementing with lithium orotate. i was also recommended to go on nattokinase for blood thinning as my blood is super thick and causing some of my sluggishness and muscle cement feelings.

ok...i'm done now! Overall i'm feeling like I'm taking a step in the right direction toward healing and liking myself. I broke up with the EX ..again. Only this time i really stood up for myself and what I need to get healthy. Sexual intercourse was actually causing some flares in my hormones and so i said no more 'just friends' intercourse. he is not interested nor capable of dealing with all of me, so i shouldn't settle and give him just what makes him comfortable if i'm not comfortable. haven't seen him in 2 weeks and I feel great with this.

Crap. Sorry I'm late Sameer, I thought you said to report in 10 days.

So right after dosing (within an hour) I got my menstrual cycle. It was normal flow for 2 days and then tapered off to non existent and spotty for the following 4-5 days. Very light flow and I was really emotional for like the entire week. And I mean crying myself to sleep every night, the whole bit.

It wasn't until the last few days that I've been mentally recovering. I feel like a veil has been lifted, or an onion layer peeled, I just feel more mentally aware of my feelings. And since I'm more aware, I'm able to cope with feelings much better than the last month without puls.

Physically, seeing more acne than when on antibiotics. Getting gut reactions (IBS symptoms) but this could be from the parasite treatment. My stools get pretty icky on days I take chlorella and the anti-parasitic herbs. Still severe pain and discomfort in joints. Muscles feel like concrete, not allowing much motion in my spine between my shoulder blades. I'm constantly adjusting my bones to find comfort, just doesn't seem to happen. I worked 30 hours this week (5 more tomorrow)..this is a lot for me as of late. the week before i only worked 18. AND, I actually did more exercising (light yoga) and stretching on 3 days this week. Usually i start exercise on Monday and spend the rest of the week recovering.

Dreams... I actually started having dreams of planes again. They aren't as terrifying as dreams in past, but still nervous about the planes. Haven't had those in a while, but i'm sleeping with the lights and tv off. Only occasionally waking up at 3 am, and only occasionally turning the tv or lite on dim.

I've been working on letting go of the idea I need to be in control of things. this includes my feelings about my health. The fear of not having enough money to get better, not ever getting healthy, and then the fear of 'what do i do if i DO get healthy?' I'm learning to be more compassionate towards myself, and at the same time, softening up enough to let people in without being afraid of being hurt. This is all very difficult at times. Finding a balance and forcing myself to rest when I just can't do the things I used to be able to do. I've gotten very sick and worn out.


Yes! I am looking forward to coming back to SD. I'm finding that my usual controlling ways are trying to take hold of decision making for the trip (where to fly to, when to buy my plane ticket, fear of flying alone, should I spend my money this way, or that way? etc)

I really want to break these patterns, It's no fun being afraid.

Nice to have you and Puls back! :)

Hey Sameer,

Since last dose, I wonder if i had too much coffee in general, enough to cause an antidote?

Maybe not, but my mental stability was a little shaky, up and down in general.

My acne got worse though, on my face and chest. And I felt worse too, very stiff, achey, and tired.

Even was having dreams of planes again. Not crashing planes.

I'm not sure if the massage I got on Tuesday was too deep tissue. Seems like i get mentally worse after deep tissue massage but its the only way to get any relief and its the only way i can get certain limbs to move.

Not sure what to think of this week. I worked 30 hours but I really struggled through it, only thanks to a coffee a day.

i go back and forth between wanting a social life but not wanting a social life because i can't handle it right now. i just keep getting worse and worse physically and not sure how to really deal with it and other people in the best way?

Thanks Sameer.

PHYSICAL:

- shortness of breath, most evident when standing up, getting out of bed, talking, walking up stairs. (Babesia symptom)

- pain in the soles of my feet upon getting out of bed in the morning. tender to step down on. (Bartonella symptom)

- muscles feel like concrete, inability to adjust bones, discomfort all the time, constantly trying to get comfortable especially while sitting at desk. heat and deep pressure help release the pain temporarily. but if pressure is too deep on my trigger points, unfavorable mental symptoms (emotional, depressed, apathetic, anger) are induced.

- since back on puls, there is more itchiness of scalp and psoriasis type sores that form in my hairline. they dry and flake and if i scratch them even a little, they bleed.

- acne on face and chest and even minor amounts on back.

- legs continuously achy, heat relieves pain temporarily. bone/shin nodules are very tender to the touch, especially on/around shins and ankles.

- having at least 1 bowel movement a day, sometimes up to 3 or 4 a day. some bloating and random dull stabbing pains in gut area.

- headaches are coming and going. they are mostly dull pains behind one of my eyes, usually the right eye.

- weight loss. my least favorite. This could be from the diet i'm supposed to be keeping. I have Gluten/Dairy/Eggs/Soy sensitivities. I don't have noticeable symptoms/reactions if I ingest these, but I do think it hampers my immune system. Parasites could also play a role in the weight loss. 114-115 pounds on a fat day, and I'm almost 5'8''.

MENTAL:

- EXTREME fatigue. If I work 30 hours a week i have to really carefully watch my time and make sure I stay on task. I feel like I must avoid talking to people because talking alone to people drains my mental energy. If I had a choice, I would only work 20-25 hours a week tops. This would give me a little more time to get exercises and self treatments in, but then I get concerned I'm not making enough money.

- Main issue, I believe, is still that of control. I feel like if I can't control something, I'm simply out of control.

- I have gotten better with being alone. I still long to be around people, but I'm trying to find a healthy balance of social time and alone time. I'm favoring alone time because I just can't handle what's on other peoples plates right now. Sometimes I feel selfish for that and guilty and bad about myself.

I think overall it's been difficult for me to take full responsibility of my illness. I don't like myself underneath the attempt at liking myself. And in a way, I feel like I've lost myself. Sometimes though, I feel like i'm on the brink of really transforming and being truly 'well' even if I still have remaining symptoms. If i could just figure out how to balance what I want with what I need.

- Money and trust. This goes with the above. I have a lack of ability to share my money, my time, and even my food. I feel like I don't have enough of it for myself. I continuously work on this when the feelings arise and overall, I'm doing 'better' with it, but it's a characteristic embedded deep within my DNA, or something. I just have troubles trusting things will be ok if I don't control things.


PS.. Saturday was a better day, in part because I could lay at home and rest. But I also, now, firmly believe that the deep tissue massage sent me into an icky place for 4 days. I having a feeling Puls is still definitely a friend that helps me cope with things, but perhaps my system is so flooded with crap, i just couldn't notice.

Will let you be the judge!
Thanks Sameer.

forgot to mention above...

with the shortness of breath spells comes dizziness and like, blackened vision? Not sure what the correct term for it is. but my sight gets fuzzy/dark, mostly when getting up from sitting or laying down.

last thing!

Still having the muscle twitches come and go. This is a sign my 'bug load' is being killed off. They are like fireworks going off in a muscle, or like an electrical current is going through a certain area.

This happened big time when you had me on arsenicum album. In fact, out of all the remedies, I think Ars made me 'herx' both physically and mentally. Whether that's good or bad, I'm not sure, but I do know that means it was effective against one of my infections.

Lots of similarities here. I always thought this resembled many characteristics. My very first homeopathic dose ever was arg nit 200c. 15 pellets under tongue 3 times over the course of 2 days.

Never got much reaction, so she changed to Stront. Carb. and got a severe fever from that. This was years ago, probably 2007/2008 or so.

Will get this tomorrow and let you know how it goes, thanks!

had to order online

hi sameer,

its been 7 days since arg nit dose.

1st day: very mentally upset because i purchased my plane ticket to fly into las vegas. i had a hard time making choices, where to sit on the plane, what city to fly out of and to, what would be less expensive or less stressful. my heart beat increased and i had a hard time breathing because i was reacting to the thought of even getting on a plane.

2nd day: mentally better, physically out of breath, tired, sore soles, light headed, 99.1 temp

3rd day: mentally whirlwind-ish. so busy with work and thoughts, kind of fed up with my current situation, felt more of an anger based motivation, outwardly pleasant towards people. physically, still had a temp 99.2, lots of twitching, was able to do stretching and a little yoga

4th day: mentally good day. got nutrient IV. had fun at dinner with my family. physically, headache and pain in arm from IV.

5th day: mentally very overwhelmed and stressed from work because it was so busy but i hung in there and stayed. needed to be alone for a while after work to regroup mentally. physically not comfortable at all. dehydrated and achy

6th day: mentally outgoing and friendly with people. I dont really talk about how i feel anymore and i think i put on a good face for everyone but really i feel like i'm going crazy and like i'll never get well. im sad because i feel like i can't have a normal life and i get so tired of feeling this way every day.

today: mentally good in the morning. crying in the evening when alone talking to one of my friends online. he talked about his photography and i got sad because i never feel good enough or have enough time or money to pursue things i might enjoy or would be good at because i'm so busy tending to my health. physically, 99.5 fever after shower, dipped down to 98.0 later in the day and went back up to 99.2 later on after bath. very achy. acne is worse overall.


I just started getting cramps tonight when i started crying. It's day 32 of my cycle and i really haven't had any normal breast tenderness as of yet. I suspected the last week would be mentally upsetting but it wasn't really.

still not real sure what to think about whats going on with my body. i felt like overall arg nit helped mentally. i am supposed to start mebendazole tomorrow, for the parasite infection trichinella. its a 13 day treatment. the herbs didn't seem to do a whole lot except increase itchiness and acne.

will wait to hear from you
thanks sameer

hi Sameer,

it's been a week since last post.

i finally got my period on day 37 of my cycle. this is a really long cycle for me!

whats even more odd, i didn't really get the major breast swelling like i usually do a few days before my cycle. they were a little tender, yes, and lumpy, but not nearly as swollen as usual.

also, my emotional mental standpoint that usually swings out of control a week before my period was reduced. i was a little irritable maybe, but overall, my mental frame was noticeably improved.

the first day of period was completey scanty. today (what i count as the first day) the flow increased and cramps came on pretty strongly. feeling better now with rest.

a tad bit more insomnia. constipation occurred with the start of anti-parasitic meds. I have about a week left of the meds.

last thing, my physical therapists has a theory that my joints are very loose and i'm over flexible, which is why my weak muscles are having such a tough time supporting my bone structure. it seemed to make sense. he put me on simple physio-ball exercises/light stretching and walking.

overall physically, i had quite frequent fevers, one day even getting up to 100.0 F.

mentally doing alright i think.

Will await to hear from you, thanks Sameer :)

Jenny

sweet! will do :)

I seem pretty mentally not great. I've been worse, but still. Waiting on arg nit to arrive, is this expected due to dose wearing off?

Hi Sameer,
It's been 72 hours.

Physically, a day after taking dose my skin broke out a bit more than usual on my face and chest. I had diarrhea yesterday but that could've been from adding salads in my diet, not sure. other than that, I had a headache, and overall feeling really crappy and tired, but i think i'm managing well.


Mentally, pretty normal. last night was weird because i thought i fell asleep with my tv on. if i have it off i usually let the light in from the streets but i woke up this morning in a dark room (no tv, shades drawn). Still having a little anxiety over how to fit everything i need to do in my day to day life. trying to break it down and not worry about things.

Overall I'd say this was a positive influence, which makes me happy because i'm finishing up a course of 3 different meds that have been a bit rough on me.

Do you think this remedy will help resolve the airplane fear? That would be great if that happened in a month for when I fly! haha.

Thanks Sameer, will await your advice.

took a sudden turn today after posting. i got home from work and got a bill in the mail that i wasn't expecting and i broke down crying. i don't let myself cry very often and i haven't in a while. but i've been so physically uncomfortable lately, so tired, hungry and i've just had enough. contemplating thoughts of quitting my jobs, but fear of not enough money keeps me from doing it. i fell asleep and woke up shortly after in a panic state because it felt like my limbs were going numb ( i fell asleep using my decongestive lymphatic machine ). I turned it off and got up and now i'm just ...blah.