Could any Dr. help me with fears of flying/heights? _{Page 22 of 33}

For example, when I get a massage. To relieve the pain, i either need or think i need extreme deep tissue work done. However, when this is performed in the 'trouble area' (right now a trouble area is my neck/back shoulder on right side), when relief is brought to the troubled area, the pain moves somewhere else, perhaps the left side, or it will move down lower or higher, or i may find there is more trouble areas elsewhere like my lower back.

By the end of the massage I'm left feeling like 1 hour was not enough to get 'everything'. this is a common complaint of fibromyalgia. wandering pain i think they call it.

I can almost turn my long neck to look behind my back like an owl (ok, not as far as an owl), but there is such a constant discomfort in the neck, spine area that you could literally take your thumb and dig into the trigger points with all of your weight resting on me. the amount of pressure i can withstand is unique, especially for my size. my physical therapist has not come across many that he needs to get his 'tool' out for (the tool helps to get a pinpointed, deep penetration without wearing out the therapists thumbs)

take that same trigger point therapy that can be performed on my neck and back however, and try to do that on my legs or arms? i'd be sent screaming to high heaven. i can withstand very little pressure on my extremities. in fact, even when my cat jumps up on the bed and stands on my legs with her paws, there is pain and sometimes bruising.

mentally, i can't say i'm bad.

theres some anxiety in regards to the trip i'm going to take in a couple weeks. of course i hate flying still, i'll be spending a lot of money that maybe i don't think i should be spending because what if i need that to spend on treatments, will i be too sick to enjoy my visit, can i do all the things i used to do before i started feeling like an 80 yr old woman, etc. perhaps i still have trouble accepting some of the limitations my health problems give, and i think i like myself a little less because of them.

but then theres another side that recognizes that none of that is in my control. i wouldn't say it's an inner battle i'm having, maybe it is. but at the very least it's inner dialog with myself.

there are new people that want to meet me (men) when i go down there. and while at one time i thought thats what i wanted (a relationship) i can't fool myself into thinking that that's what i really need *right now*. i think the key for me is to enjoy time with them, know what boundaries i'm not willing to cross for the sake of my health and my self, and to keep a level of detachment at all times. trusting my own decisions is a challenge that i'm hoping i can do well at on this trip.

to sum it up, i can't really say i've been in this place with myself before. i keep thinking i'll wake up from this health nightmare any day. not even hoping so, more like i know it's going to happen i just don't know when. i don't ever want to forget what this feels like, but i do want to move on. *how* to do that is what gnaws at my core. i try to take things one day at a time and be patient. i'm sure the plane rides will be difficult for me, but in order to get thru the day with little stress, i have to tell myself that if God wants me to die in a plane crash...then so be it. and i drop it until the fear arises again.


physically i am still coughing up green mucous.

fever has returned, insomnia, mental tension in the form of depression, low self esteem.

i just feel like because of my health problems i wont make a good girlfriend or wife or good employee, friend, etc. i feel like life is passing me by sometimes. most days i am hopeful to be well and carry a good positive attitude. but other times i am just sad that i am not well. i mourn losing my early adult life. i feel left behind.

i think sulphur benefited mentally for a while. i just wonder if it is wearing off because I just started feeling that way yesterday. at the risk of sounding esoteric, i study vedic astrology and the fever/low self esteem showed up clearly in my transit chart, the transit dissipates soon. i think i've brought it up before, but all of my health concerns show up and can be explained by my natal birth chart. with a severely afflicted Moon, my immune system, fluids of the body, menstrual cycle, mind/emotions, digestion (intestines), lungs, heart and breasts are very much vulnerable to mysterious disease.

considering the fever, illness, etc, i thought that was positive sign? do you agree maybe sulphur is just wearing off? considering the physical hell i was going through, mentally i feel like i was handling it pretty well.

I'd say Sulphur helped with my premenstrual emotional swings. I didn't have any really. My period came on day 31, it was heavier flow vs my usual scanty periods, and it lasted longer than the usual 4-5 days.

I believe I actually felt better about going to work for a little while there, until I got super sick where I couldn't get out of bed. Before that I didn't have as much zest and i really loathed going to work.

there were a couple incidents where i was supposed to meet up with people and they completely flaked out. I feel like I handled it extremely well. I kinda knew they'd be flaky, and I wasn't looking forward to really seeing them anyway.

given the amount of pain i have been in, for the most part i've remained extremely hopeful. you can only suffer so long before you have a breakdown, so i think i'm entitled to them here and there. mentally i bounce back better than long before.

id say a good couple weeks i received mental benefit. (rough estimate).

should arrive in the mail any day now.

i should express a concern on taking another dose. I have to be in a wedding and around the week of my trip i...

A) would like to have clear skin! (it's pretty clear now)

and B) i don't want to get sick like last week, at any point on my trip.

My trip is April 25th to May 2nd.
i will do as you suggest. i assume 200c is next? i remember those take a while to rear results. just wanted to voice my semi-shallow yet functional concern. haha.

thanks Sameer

Sorry Sameer i hate to bug you, I am a big yo-yo physically.

Fever went back up to 102 F following bath today.

a LOT of mucous coming out of pretty much every exit way you can think of besides my ears.

Bowels are formed again, but lots of stringy mucous is attached, white and thick. Vag discharge that's clear/white. Green coming up from lungs in the morning only. lungs are starting to hurt when i cough. no appetite and energy is fading even though i am in better spirits.

family is getting really concerned for me here and are urging me to go see a doctor. i'm starting to wonder if i should at least go get checked out to see if it's pneumonia or RSV or something else. What do you think.

Hi Sameer,

I took a dose of Puls LM5 that night before bed, as you suggested.

the next day I went to the doctor because i was still having lung pain. she didn't do anything aside from listen to me breathe, etc and gave me a Z-Pack and inhaler prescription. I never filled the inhaler but filled the Z-Pack, just in case i wanted to take it after i gave Puls a chance to do its work.

I went to my dental appointment as scheduled (i forgot i had it otherwise i would've told you). they were going to do 3 amalgam replacements, i told them just to do the bottom small 1.

they did as I wished and I went home, ate a little food, felt fine. I went to run some errands and by the time i got home i was shaking with chills. I jumped into the bath tub with steaming hot water and was still shaking. i finally got to the point i wasn't shaking and drifted off almost to sleep but then i woke up with a bad feeling that i had a really high fever.

i got out, wrapped in a robe and went upstairs to lay down. before long my fever was 104.6. i was very much in a panic and i thought i should try the Z-Pack. I took the first dose and was immediately sick to my stomach. I tried aspirin to help with the fever. But i was so ill i was taken to the ER, i could barely walk and was so dizzy i stumbled hunched over.

I vomited up the pills I'm sure on my way to the hospital. Fever went down to around 101 and i felt a little better.

The doc ran an X-ray, blood tests and blood culture, and swabbed my throat and nose.

I had no sign of strep, influenza, bronchitis or pneumonia. The only thing they found was an elevated WBC which was 11.9.

They said i had inflammation in my lungs probably from a bacterial infection. They hooked me up to a liquid IV and injected liquid tylenol, an anti-inflammatory and zofran to bring my nausea down. They also gave me a gram of IV Rocephin.

I went home, i felt better, but as soon as the anti-inflammatory wore off I had SEVERE SEVERE chest pain. I mean it felt like my lungs were being crushed from all angles. it felt like my liver and my stomach and spleen were being crushed too, all the way up into my neck and head. I was screaming with distress and crying hysterically asking god to make it stop. my dad took me back in the ER. it happened so quickly, I got home at 1215 am and was back in the ER by 1am.

They put another IV line in and shot me up with anti-inflammatory and a heavier pain killer. the pain subsided fairly quickly and i was relieved.

I am NOT a fan of going to the hospital or being injected with all these things, but i literally felt like i was dying.

they sent me home again after a short breathing treatment and a little more pain killers. the pain returns when the pain killers wear off. I had to be on them all day yesterday and I couldn't keep anything in my stomach, not even water I was so nauseous from the narcotics. My lyme doc prescribed me Zofran in pill form to help with the nausea so I can at least eat.

I took one zofran last night and one today. I haven't taken any pain killers or anti-inflammatories yet because my lungs don't feel like they are being crushed.

I still feel like something is very wrong.
I have an appointment with a different doctor and i'm hoping he will give me liquid IV's because I am severely dehydrated.

My skin broke out, especially on my forehead. I was in bed all day yesterday, I couldn't even get up to shower.

I'm really really really sorry if this stuff interfered with the remedies you were giving me. I have never been in more pain it was absolutely unbearable.

The other sulphurs arrived in the mail yesterday. I have no idea what i should even do at this point. I have my lyme doc saying that this is probably a babesia herx and that they are infecting my lungs or lung lining, and i have the other bonehead docs saying they really can't tell me what's going on, they only know how to suppress the discomfort.

I know we are supposed to let these things work their way out on their own, but oh my goodness. There is no way I could withstand that lung pain. During the X-Rays they had me take deep breaths in and out and I about fell over from dizziness and nausea.

I threw up twice yesterday (all the water i drank) and only went to the bathroom twice. #1 only and it was dark orange color


Sorry to throw all this on you. I just wanted to keep you updated. I don't know if I should wait until these symptoms subside, I don't even know what caused it. all i know is i want to be at least back to my regular achy-ness that I can deal with with heat and rest for my trip next week. If I'm like this there is no way I'll be able to enjoy anything let alone make it to my destinations.

Thanks Sameer,
Jenny

Had 2 ct scans, one of chest, one of guts.

There was concern of liver problems due to elevated enzymes, and concern of a lung blood clot.

my liver looked fine and there was no blood clot found.

all they found was 'full ovaries' and fluid in the pelvic area, possibly due to a ruptured cyst. i'm pretty sure they said they didn't see any cysts on the ovaries themselves.

i've been getting IV fluids the last 2 days, today is my last day.

i still have urge to cough if i breathe in deep enough. i dont like to cough because A) hardly anything comes out and B) all it does is give me a headache. once i start its hard to stop and its completely unproductive.

i'm able to keep food down now without the help of zofran (anti-nausea). I haven't taken any pain killers yet either or anything to keep fevers down for a few days now. no fever to report.

mentally i'm sad. this is a nightmare and i don't know what to do about it. I'm thinking about filing for disability or some kind of assistance. It's just physically impossible for me to work more than 15 hours it seems like. every week varies. I don't even know if i will be well enough to go on my trip.

just updating. thanks.
jenny

Hi Sameer, thats ok i figured you were not able to get to the computer to reply. no worries.

the acute has subsided.
i and my doctor strongly believe that babesia is what infects my lungs. i did take 4 days of zithromycin (z-pack). i threw up the first dose. this is seeming to clear up the lungs (i know not in the most ideal way!) but at least i know that its probable that babesia is the culprit there since zithromycin is what is used commonly for the blood parasite.

also, i am positive that the amalgam replacement (however tiny it was) played a big part in my body being overwhelmed. the releasing of bacteria and amalgam into an already overloaded system = bad business!


i am still very much gun shy on what i eat and how much activity i do. pretty fatigued and am purposefully lowering my hours at work this week as to not become overwhelmed before my trip.

mentally, there is a little insomnia, a little sadness over not quite being the way i think my body should be. im working on accepting and liking myself even in this situation. it is difficult for me. i feel worthless and like i'm moving nowhere due to not being able to handle much of anything (work, physical activity, etc). i am still having internal struggles with myself over flying, and trying to let go of my fears and the need i have to control. trying to believe everything will be ok, without being attached to expectations.


physically, i am back to my all over discomfort/body pain. not like when i had flu-ish aches. its less intense than that, but still constant. laying down and heat are really the only thing that offer relief.

i was having menstrual cramps yesterday. i'm somewhat constipated. i'm a little concerned about the pelvic area fluid and the full ovaries, especially because i've had pain with intercourse for a while, which is an HPV symptom. HPV is something i have been diagnosed with when 17, but i never experienced any of the symptoms - it 'resolved' on its own after 2 years and i had normal paps since then. i haven't had a pap done in almost 3 years.

i can't think of anything else. im a little afraid to take homeopathics before my trip. im a little afraid to take anything. it would be great to feel mentally better but im mostly afraid to get any physically worse.

when I was 17 i had a pap exam and the pap came back abnormal. they did another test or something and they said i had HPV, but i didnt have any symptoms of it. after 2 years of retesting, at some point my paps became normal. i haven't retested in over 3 years.

current symptoms that relate...i would say the pain during intercourse relates. every time in years prior the nurse/doc would always ask if i had pain during intercourse and i never did. not until i started treating for lyme about 6 months ago. and it wasn't even all that bad. the last 3-4 months i haven't even felt like having sex at all. also, there is still quite a notable amount of clear discharge i'm having which is kind of different for me.


today at the doctor's office, i basically asked him if he believed i had lyme. he looked straight at me with no hesitation and said no. he even called me a doctor hunter, with a student in the room. this really hurt my feelings and i cried while i tried to explain to him that i'm not here for fun. i dont even like doctors, or doctor bills, or medications. as soon as they left the office i broke down crying, the nurse came in and took blood to test my liver enzymes as they were sky high last friday, and i cried after i got home, and... i'm tearing up as i think about this as i type.

so he thinks i just have a bronchial infection.

Mostly feels like the right ovary might burst or rupture if too much pressure is applied to fast or too hard or wrong angle, etc.

Sometimes i feel this way on the left side too, but mostly the right side.

there's also a spasm, almost like one strong muscle spasm or tightening of the cervic/uterus/whatever body part that is and it kind of feels like a slow dull stab.

i had to even stop intercourse the last time due to the pain and he was barely even moving.

also (and this is really weird and kind of explicit...sorry!!!)
the last few times its almost like i couldnt feel ANYthing.

it hurts as i stated above, at first, but then its like i loosen up as if I was a high paid escort on hooker ave. (ha :/ joke, i'm totally not a hooker).

it was determined nothing was malfunctioning with him, maybe i'm just not into it with that guy anymore. this is the same guy i've been off and on with over the last 3 years. i have no idea. The extra discharge started after the last time I had intercourse. (4 days or so before the emergency room)

When the pap was abnormal i was with a man, very short lived relationship. it was only the 2nd guy i had ever been with. I was an idiot i didn't know what i was doing. I was about 17, doing drugs for a short amount of time. just being an idiot.

We don't have that here in town. Instead of ordering, I will be in Vegas on Monday, I will see if Whole Foods has it so i can pick it up there.

Thanks :)

Hi Sameer, I am back from my trip. for some reason none of the Whole Foods I went to carried Calc Carb in the 6C potency.

I've been a little strapped for cash due to the hospital stay, barely working, and the vacation I went on. I will be ordering the calc carb 6c tomorrow unless you advise otherwise.

i did pretty well on the plane for the most part. on the way the way there i was a bit more at ease than on the way back.

while out of town i lost more weight, I weigh about 109 lbs.

i didn't do any of my lyme treatment things while gone, just tried to enjoy myself.

upon returning i had more motivation, worked 25 hours in 4 days, and handled a few confrontations with a level head. I even am a little motivated to get back to exercising.

i hope to return to san diego soon and am possibly considering moving back to that general area.