Could any Dr. help me with fears of flying/heights? _{Page 10 of 33}

Hello Sameer

Overall doing pretty good mentally now.

Physically, better in some areas but pain still persists..


Physical Changes:

-Day 10 after taking Phos1M, Allergies to the cat got more severe than usual for 2 days. It stopped the day I left town. I went out of town New years day.

-Drove 9 hours by myself, went well and i was in good mood.

-Massages helped loosen up my back for the drive. My legs got sore and achy though.

-Was constipated for about almost 2 days. Not sure but it could be from eating alot of cheese the day before. Not something i normally eat.

-the itchy white bumps went away 2 or 3 days after i reported.

-red patches on eyes still gone and healed.

-during the trip i felt VERY good mentally. It felt great to get away from the house and be on the road and meet new people in the same field that i study.

-skin (acne) seems to be improving a little. not touching or picking at my face like i usually do.

-when returning from trip, i drove another 8-9 hours by myself, made good time and i was not all that tired even though i thought i would be. I did get a bit moody while edging near home again. was a little angered at little things and didnt want to deal with anyone.

-Day 15 after dose and Day 31 of cycle...breasts are tender. Been tender since then, period was supposed to be here today. not feeling any signals besides tender breasts, suspecting that it will arrive in a few days. This is different from last two months...was on time around day 29 or 30 but breasts were tender around day 19. They still have lumps in them.

-my back is still the same. i am getting cupping and massage again. It helps to loosen, got a deep treatment last couple days and after it makes me want to eat junk food. I sit all day at work and i get tense and feel like a rock or knots all over. i don't know if i mentioned it before, but when i was born, i was born with 2 middle toes crooked. the middle toe on each foot. it was bent forward and at 11 years old i got surgery to snip the tendon in the back of toe, they went straight after surgery. I asked my parents to get that done because kids made fun of my toes when younger. the first homeopath i went to made a comment about how 'it started that young.' thought maybe she meant my tightness started at birth but i dont know.


Mental Changes

-went from great mood out of town, to poor mood while back in town. although i was aggravated i still tried to remain unattached to the feelings. I did look for a little consolation from bf, didn't really get it but i dropped it anyway.

-since then, my bf has seemed to really make a change in how he deals with me. He suddenly started being more physically affectionate and he tends to my emotions when he thinks he should, and he even gives me compliments. this has made me feel very good and happy and validated. makes me feel much more giving and loving. easier to communicate. brings tears to my eyes at times. have had a few thoughts of how i would feel if for some reason he left me. Some days i am able to think of it rationally and let things be the way they play out, other days I worry that it will end. I get scared because i think i wont find anyone as good, it took me and him 2 years to get to this point and i get anxious if i ever feel like ive wasted my time.

Overall, I'm feeling better equipped to deal with life challenges, but still have physical pain that really is hard on me because i don't know what causes it.


Sameer, i know you have so many patients that are in need of your help and require your time. Would you be able to give me any kind of prognosis? Even if its just a sentence, I value your opinion on how you think I'm coming along.


Looking forward,

Jenny

Hi Sameer,

Just bumping up.

Got Period today, day 34 of cycle. no cramping as of now or leading up to today. only tender breasts on day 31. spotted on day 33 at end of day.

Mentally good.

Just awaiting advice, thanks :)

Jenny

Thank you Sameer :)

I will do all you said. Have a great weekend and enjoy the San Diego sun!

Jenny

Hi Sameer

Its been 5 weeks since Phos 1M dose.

Since last report I got my period on day 33 or 34. The breasts only swelled a few days before getting period vs. over a week like the last two months. Cramps were better, only bad on the first day but I was also at work on feet. Flow was a little scanty on day 3-6. The period lasted longer than usual but was extremely light. No clotting like some months.

Craving milk more often. Craving less meat and less sweet (chocolate). Am considering going on a Sattvic diet that helps with Vata imbalance.

Anxiety has risen only a couple times when thinking of money but it quickly subsides.

I watched a scary movie one night and i was not as afraid as i have been before over scary movies. I am trying to sleep with the TV off all night. I still sleep with a dim light on but was able to sleep w/o tv a few nights. I wake up around 3am and will turn the tv on just so i can go back to sleep easily. will wake up around 5-6 and turn it off. seems like there is progress in this area and I will be working towards eventually not turning tv on and turning lights out some day. I had some bad dreams but didn't give them much thought or record them.

dry patch on eye lid (right side) returned a day or two but never stayed. I have a couple dry patches on my shoulder and the one on my leg is still healing.

desire to drink water has decreased. drank milk when thirsty more than water.

had a minor meltdown on Sunday. I felt a little confused about future. i spent some time alone and eventually snapped out of it pretty quickly.

mentally overall when i get a little down i feel like im balancing the highs and lows better. I think I am getting a little better at motivating myself at times too.

physically, overall about the same. my acne got better and then it got worse again. I haven't had much of an appetite. eating more bread and milk, i used to feel bad by this but intuition seems to be calling attention to these foods. the aches and stiffness is still here but i am trying to be consistent with stretching.

I have not received the Phos liquid yet but its been shipped and should be here any day.

will await your direction.

thank you :)
Jenny

correction: its been 4 weeks since phos 1m, not 5.

Hello Sameer,

I am happy to report I'm feeling pretty balanced mentally. The extreme highs and lows I go through seem more managable and have been more in the middle, which is where I'd love to be. I am still managing to sleep with TV off even when waking up in the middle of the night and have urge to turn it on. Some dreams have been scary but nothing that bothers me the next morning.

Physically I am still experiencing pain and tightness/ rigid spine, tough muscles that is hard for massage therapists to break up. The skin is kind of clearing again (a little) bf noticed it was anyway, i didn't think so.
I seem to want to drink anything else but water. Favorites are natural energy drinks with no caffeine and decaf organic coffee and milk. Sweets are still not appetizing to me like before. (thank goodness!)

I plan to start a new tough exercise regimen on Monday and have goals to eat 5 times a day and get more rest. I will be cutting back hours at work to only work 5 hours a day so I can have time to take more care with health and plans to relocate, finding jobs, etc. My only worry is that I wont stick to the program, I usually start off great and then i get sore or tired and can't keep up and then I fall out of the motivation mode.

I have the Phos liquid droppers now.

Will await your direction.

Thank you Sameer!
Jenny

Hello Sameer,
I am early reporting but wanted to post that my skin has gotten quite irritable. The red scaly patch on my right eye has returned. Acne is flaring. Overall itchy. The physical activity I started today was a bit tough and i almost felt nauseated. Yesterday I felt like throwing up. I am sure this is in part because I have not been heavily physically active as of late and almost all of '09.
Overall not terribly disturbed mentally, I am even not as compulsive about doing this fitness program 'the right way' like i have been with other programs. just mostly very very tired. In the last month i have dropped at least 6 lbs. I am at 117 lb , 5'8'', 22% body fat, and it is really hard for me gain weight even when I eat all the time. I get very tired when eating so much and having heavy physical activity but I want to build my muscles back up. Heavy activity actually minimizes the pain in my back momentarily.

I don't think I've conquered 100% of my fears but I am feeling better equipped mentally to deal with life issues. My main focus now is carefully building my body and confidence back up. I 'look' just fine, many comment how skinny I am and how they wish they could eat like me and never gain, but I feel weak and out of shape as my muscles and pain have dominated the last 8 years. Fatigue and pain come easily when i start working out, thats why I have always quit 3-4 weeks in (at most).

No worries on waiting, just having some physical flare ups and things worth mentioning for the case study.

Let me know if you'd still like me to wait :)

Thank you
Jenny

Hello Sameer,

It has been 72 hours since Phos 1LM dose. My muscles were very sore before taking and after a day of dose the muscle soreness eased (either from the dose or working thru the exercises even when sore). I soaked in salt baths often and stretched, never missed a work out which i am pleased with. Mentally I have remained well and even very happy and talkative yesterday. My eyes started to itch more and there is more congestion in the sinus area than usual. seems like both eyes want to go 'raw' again...itchy and red. They get better over night and in the morning. Dry skin patches are still healing on my shoulders and leg. Acne has remains about the same. I am mostly pleased that I have not given up on the workouts yet and that I am not overly critical of how i perform them and my eating. My tongue does get very white and spotty on the sides after drinking milk and taking calcium magnesium. I am drinking and eating more dairy overall so my tongue is paler.

Let me know what you advise next.
Thank you so much and have an awesome day :)

Jenny

Forgot to add, sneezing more often. Also at night I've been waking up a lot more and a little more nervous about it like I used to be. But I never turned the TV on even when a little scared.

Hello Sameer,

Saturday I woke up in an irritable mood. I was impatient and annoyed most of the day. I got a little more tired also, tried to get more rest.

the red patches on my eyes never got worse but im still sneezing a bit. some of the congestion has lessened a little bit. I felt like i was coming down with something but it seemed to go away quickly. There is more hairgrowth again. Cant think of anything else.

Thank you,
Jenny

Hello Sameer,

It has been 4 days. Here is a list of what I noticed:

eyes itchy this morning...theyve been itchier than normal. more allergic to my cat again.

right ovary area has been having a dull ache off and on. (can't tell for sure if its the ovary or something else in that general area) This is a symptom I've had before when under treatment with you.

overall, skin is getting a bit clearer. I am refraining from picking at face.

The sore on my leg is almost completely healed now. the dry patch on shoulder is gone too.

very stuffy in the sinus area. when face is down during massage my entire nose stuffs up and i cant breathe thru it, only thru mouth.

some losening coughs in the morning the last few days. very short-lived

a little fear when lights are out is returning. not severely, but noticably. When walking in the dark i will have a glimpse of something evil surrounding me and so I make sure i turn lights on. I am still sleeping with no tv on at night. Only a few nights i have turned it on when waking up at 3 in the morning. it seems like I ALWAYS wake up around 3 (sometimes 2:40, or a little after 4). One night I was able to sleep with a dim light on. usually i have a brighter light on.

breasts still feeling a little heavy but not really painful. pain is on the sides, there are some lumps there.

id say a little more irritable off and on but not overwhelmingly so. I haven't felt like working much because I have been continuing with my workout every day. So i have been a bit tired and can tell i need a little more sleep. I force myself to at least go in for a few hours. I seem to not be able to fit in more sleep in my schedule unless i cut back on work or treatments or freetime. Overall I am happy with my progress physically, I am not getting severely sore like the first week and I can tell I am getting a little stronger in the heart and energy levels as I am able to perform more of the activities a little better. I haven't skipped a whole workout, but a couple i did cut short.

went to the chiropractor because my mid back was feeling almost strained on one side. He was able to adjust the middle of my back (T3,4,5) quite easily. usually it is a difficult spot to adjust, most times it just doesnt adjust at all because its so rigid.the back has been feeling less confined since working out, less burning when sitting. but i also think i must continue to exercise until really strong otherwise it will come back.

i had a dream last night of being in an airplane again and it was making a crash landing. I havent had a dream of planes in a very long time. This dream didnt bother me really. There was chaos and many people on the plane and i had a feeling the trip would not go accordingly. My bf was there and i was glad for that. I was a little scared in dream but also knew I could not control anything so i should just go with what happens. No one died in the landing. it was just bumpy and i was mostly annoyed that the pilot was an idiot for landing us there.

teeth have been overly sensitive when brushing, almost painful. this has been going on for a while now though I just forgot to report it last few reports.

thats all i can think of.

Thank you Sameer! Let me know what you advise next and have an awesome weekend :)

Jenny

i noticed myself getting a little more fearful after the first Phos dose. It is not alot more fearful, but I notice a slight difference between puls and phos.

Again, its really only slightly noticeable. I tell myself its silly and theres no reason to be afraid and sometimes that works. I am still sleeping pretty well without tv on but haven't tried to sleep in pitch dark yet. I sleep fine in darkness only when sleeping next to someone. As a kid we always had dim nightlights, it wasn't until like age 11/12 that I would come upstairs and hide until people went to bed so i could sleep on the couch (my room was the only one in the basement). at some point around age 14-19 it didnt bother me but I think even then i slept with tv on and i still slept upstairs on occasion. I became most fearful of being alone and in dark after abusive boyfriend at age 21. and since age 22 i've always lived with people. the habit of keeping lights on and tv's started at age 21. age 19-21 is when things really went downhill physically for me too.

this is a little difficult for me to determine as i have been noticing gradual improvements with both.

I'd say since Phos1M I have become more independent while maintaining my relationships. I don't feel as dependent upon the approval from others. Life doesn't seem as serious to me after I started Phos, even though I can still notice some underlying insecurities. An example...just a couple weeks ago I was approached to act in a music video. I've never done any acting, but it's always interested me. I think before a month or so ago I would have been extremely hesitant, but I agreed pretty readily. I am still a little insecure about my abilities and a bit nervous, but on the other hand I think I could do a good job so I try to talk myself out of those insecurities. It's almost like I have to convince myself, whereas before I probably would avoid any situation where i would have to 'put myself out there' to be critiqued.

I think the main difference....Right after Phos 1M, I got to the point where I was finally able to say and do what I feel without feeling bad about it. Because of that, I spoke my mind and stood my ground to my bf and he did a complete turn around and things have been really well between us since then. The communication seems clearer I am more comfortable with saying how I feel to him and others. I am much more enthusiastic in life now, but not sure if its contributed to the bf showing me more affection.

I am still in a 'scarcity mentality' when it comes to money. I can't say if it was better or worse on either puls or phos. I've been a little stingy with my money for a long time, unless I'm spending it on myself. It's not as bad as it use to be but i still feel greedy at times or like there is not enough.


Also, another thing I noticed in the last month, I am drawn to wearing more color lately. I used to really like plain/natural colors and things. I still like them but am really into colors and patterns now. This is new as i have really been a plain jane type all my life. (whites browns naturals greys blacks) Even when drawing I used to draw just grayscale. I haven't drawn in a while but I want to use color when i start back up.

There have been alot of changes thru Puls and Phos, hard for me to notice some differences unless major. I hope this description helps.

Jenny

Thank you, I agree with the healthy changes. Have a great weekend :)
Jenny

Hi Sameer,
I am a little early reporting. I have been having some anxiety arise from this business on the music video thing I told you about. I am mostly excited for the video but if I get hired I wont find out until this thursday and then i will have to immediately shoot for 2 days, which I am not the most nervous about. I think i am mostly afraid that the 2nd half of the shoot occurs in Syracuse and they said I will have to fly there the 19th to the 22nd. I very much want someone to come with me but I doubt my boyfriend will and i dont know anyone else really who would want to go. I am finding I am grasping at anyone who I can think of who could go and i want to talk about it to someone i guess to have them calm my fears but this upsets me because I know that it can't be done that way. I didn't think of it so much in the beginning because I still didnt think it would happen but it seems like the time is drawing near. I could fly out of my town but the planes are so small and they scare me or i could drive 5 hours and get on a bigger plane with less connection flights but I dont even want to drive unless someone comes with me. I don't want to pass on the opportunity but I am feeling sad because I know I either have to face fear and i dont want to, or i have to say no to the job. I dont want to be so afraid to fly.
as a result of the stress i am breaking out on my face more and picking more and people can tell something is bothering me. confidence is low and feel like crying, i just plain dont want to get on a plane alone, at all.

physically still sneezing from cat, loose stool yesterday, acne/skin picking bad, losing appetite, minor cramps like my period wants to come. day 32 of cycle.

sorry for not waiting but this is starting to disturb my daily routine.

thank you,
Jenny